Spider-Man is going to be a fucking goddamned retard. (SPOILERS)

[Velorath]

WTF?  Mary Jane is a superhero now in this Brand New Day shit?

[HaemishM]

What?

[NowhereMan]

Kitsune said she was "off camera" for a while doing super model things previously, if that wasn't a misreading of that bit then Marvel's managed to find a way to fuck the Spiderman universe even more.

[Velorath]

They've introduced a red-headed superhero named Jackpot (as in "Face it Tiger, you just hit the...) who mentions that she's model, and she uses the word Tiger in the same way that MJ does.  There's a one panel cameo of her in the main story, and then she has a back-up story near the end of the book.

[Teleku]

Gay Enormitron

[Margalis]

This is veering into purposefully bad territory. Maybe DC is paying Joe Q?

[Broughden]

I like Joe. This thread makes me sad. 

At the sametime its kind of fun to watch people get this upset over a comic book.

[UnSub]

I like Raph. This thread makes me sad. 

At the sametime its kind of fun to watch people get this upset over a video game.

Fixed.

We all pick petty things to get our panties in a bunch about.

[UnSub]

They've introduced a red-headed superhero named Jackpot (as in "Face it Tiger, you just hit the...) who mentions that she's model, and she uses the word Tiger in the same way that MJ does.  There's a one panel cameo of her in the main story, and then she has a back-up story near the end of the book.

I'd heard about Jackpot and wondered if I was misinterpreting what had been said.

I don't mind MJ becoming some sort of costumed character (if Black Cat can be, why not MJ?) but all of the recent Spider-Man material just smacks of lazy writing and slipshod fixing of probelms (e.g. the unmasking of Spider-Man, Gwen Stacy's kids, etc).

[Lantyssa]

Well, if MJ still knows about the past, and being a costumed hero would make her likely to bump into Spidey...  then they have a way of getting back together at any time if editorial decides it.  Meh.

[angry.bob]

I went and picked up my pulls of The Boys and Black summer and talked to the shop owner a bit. He said pretty much everyone that he pulls for that was getting Spiderman has dropped it, including himself. He said in 30 years this was the dumbest shit that he's ever seen a comics company do, and he hopes it blows up in their face even though it's costing him a good chunk of money. My question is, isn't there some check on the EIC to prevent them from completely fucking a valuable property like this in one fell swoop of idiocy?

[LK]

No?

Mary Jane as a super hero would be the stupidest shit, ever.  Oh noes! Now she has great responsibility too!

[HaemishM]

They've introduced a red-headed superhero named Jackpot (as in "Face it Tiger, you just hit the...) who mentions that she's model, and she uses the word Tiger in the same way that MJ does.  There's a one panel cameo of her in the main story, and then she has a back-up story near the end of the book.

You could combine all the gay people in all the world, and all the gay beings in the universe who we haven't met yet, and you still could not conceive of something with the amount of gay that making MJ a super-hero would contain.

[Phildo]

They've introduced a red-headed superhero named Jackpot (as in "Face it Tiger, you just hit the...) who mentions that she's model, and she uses the word Tiger in the same way that MJ does.  There's a one panel cameo of her in the main story, and then she has a back-up story near the end of the book.

You could combine all the gay people in all the world, and all the gay beings in the universe who we haven't met yet, and you still could not conceive of something with the amount of gay that making MJ a super-hero would contain.

At least they didn't call her Supermodel Woman.

[Luxor]

They've introduced a red-headed superhero named Jackpot (as in "Face it Tiger, you just hit the...) who mentions that she's model, and she uses the word Tiger in the same way that MJ does.  There's a one panel cameo of her in the main story, and then she has a back-up story near the end of the book.

She was in last years ' Free Comic Book Day ' offering from Marvel which they admitted at the time was in canon and in which it was blatently obvious she was MJ. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jackpot_%28comics%29

[LK]

 

[HaemishM]

Wow, that costume is super-gay.

[Mazakiel]

So, reading through the info on wikipedia, the way they decided to retcon Peter revealing his identity is that people remember Spider-Man revealing himself, but nobody happens to remember just who happened to reveal himself as Spider-Man? 

The Civil War retcon reads, "Although some people seem to recall that Spidey unmasked himself during Civil War, no one quite remembers whose face was under the mask." The spread concluded with "Any questions? Hey, don't ask us -- we're new here ourselves! Anyway, the past is past -- so don't look back, look forward, to the next great epoch in the ongoing saga of Spider-Man: Brand New Day!"

Is that really how they decided to do that?  This thing sounds more and more stupid the more info I find. 

[Margalis]

Seems like the kind of thing that would be easy to forget. 

[rk47]

hahha omfg. This mindwipe crap has gone too far. First everyone is a skrull and now this magical disney crap taking place in Marvel.

[HaemishM]

And why exactly would a 616 reboot be a BAD thing? Especially when compared to this?

Fuck it, if you want a return to 1970's status quo, fuck it, JUST REBOOT THE GODDAMN UNIVERSE.

[Triforcer]

I'm still waiting for either Marvel or D.C. to go bankrupt and the other absorbs it.  That would make for some...interesting comics.  Although I suppose movie royalties on stuff like Spiderman and Batman will keep 'em both afloat.

[Jain Zar]

And why exactly would a 616 reboot be a BAD thing? Especially when compared to this?

Fuck it, if you want a return to 1970's status quo, fuck it, JUST REBOOT THE GODDAMN UNIVERSE.

They already did kinda.  Ultimate Marvel is basically regular Marvel only not as ridiculous and with tweaks.
And is totally awesome.  Even if they did break up Peter and Kitty Pryde which was the most  little romance in superhero comics.

(There could have been one better in DC comics, but Didio hates teenaged characters and nipped Robin and Batgirl (the new one who knows kung fu and shit) from pretty much being the teen heroes version of fucking Moonlighting before it could get off the ground.  This is lame.  Of course, Tim Drake is like the garbage dump of the DCU and nothing good ever happens to him EVER without going wrong next issue so it would have ended up in basically the same lame point with Cassie coming out of a Lazarus pit and being a murderous wacko anyhow. :( )

[HaemishM]

Cassie Batgirl is with Batman and the Outsiders now.

And I don't consider Ultimate Marvel a reboot, so much as an extended What If? I tried to read the Ultimate Spider-Man but only made it about 40 issues in before just not liking it. Part of that is me just not liking the character. I do dig the Ultimates, however. I haven't made it into the other Ultimate books yet.

[rk47]

Saw one issue of ultimates with Cap A 'talking while fighting'
The word baloons were just 'so NOT cap'.
'That hurt you know'
'Is that all you got?!'
'The A on my forehead doesn't stand for France'

I don't mind the rest of the team so much but Cap just sounds terrible. Ultimate Spidey is aiming for the teen crowd so I can understand it, but I just don't dig the art style. The women looks...un-hot.

I agree with everyone saying the universe needs a reboot. Ultimates don't count. This half-assed mini reboot for Spidey is not gonna cut it. It's like flushing a toilet halfway with all that chunks of brown cake still floating in the pool of yellowish water.

[Margalis]

They already did a kinda-reboot in the 90s when they started numbering from 1 again, something Joe Q reversed IIRC.

The thing *nobody* gets is that you can't just come in and do your own thing. Comics don't work like that. You have to work with what you have or everything becomes a disjointed mess of too many cooks.

[Llava]

I don't see the need for a reboot.

The correct way to end this was for Peter to turn down the deal, Aunt May dies, and Peter finally becomes a full-fledged adult.

[HaemishM]

Captain America in the Ultimates universe is more like a 24-conservative's wet dream of Cap. He's not the fuzzy, warm, cuddly, somewhat egalitarian Captain America from the 616. He's no qualms about killing motherfuckers. I like their take on him, but only in that universe, in that context. Hell, Hawkeye is a goddamn assassin in the Ultimates. It really is a very different take on the Avengers. And it's better written than both of the 616 Avengers titles.

Yes, making Peter Parker into an actual adult would be good, but Joe Q. doesn't want that. He really does want a return to a status quo that requires a reboot to be in any way palatable, but he refuses to do it. I personally think all branded superhero universes in comics need a reboot every quarter century or so, just to keep pace with the times.

[Jain Zar]

^^  The problem is OMG MY CHILDHOOD IS THE MOST IMPORTANT AND SPECIAL TIME FOR CONSUMER GOODS types pretty much run or have the ears of both DC and Marvel.
Alex Ross should paint his pretty pictures and then shut the fuck up!  (Among others.)

It infests comics.  Hell, I am a Transformers fan and its even worse there.  A 23 year old franchise and all anyone seems to want is the first 3 years circlejerked over till the end of the Earth.

Enough people don't want change.  They just want the same shit over and over again.

Oh yeah, and I have to defend Ultimates Cap.  You did see the most glorious asswhoopin he gave Giant Man right?  Ultimates Cap kicks ass for JUSTICE.  And Ultimates Iron Man is a likeable asshole as opposed to just regular Iron Man who is a bigger asshole and less likeable.

[HaemishM]

Ultimates Cap is like the Dark Knight Batman. He's the logical, "real-world" conclusion to the idea of a grizzled WWII Vet who KICKED HITLER'S ASS FOR UNCLE SAM being awakened in the modern-day. He really wouldn't have any qualms about capping motherfuckers who were, in the case of Ultimates, trying to invade the world. Ultimates has mostly fought against 1) aliens, 2) foreigners invading the US because they were led by Loki, god of Lies.

Oh yeah, and the Hulk eats motherfuckers in Ultimates. I don't mean, "he beats the shit out of them," eats, I mean he literally has a meal on motherfuckers because Captain America told the Hulk they called him gay.

[Evildrider]

As an aside.. I guess the Spidey fuckover will probably kill the chances of a Spidey 4.

[Merusk]

As an aside.. I guess the Spidey fuckover will probably kill the chances of a Spidey 4.

Spidey 3 did that well enough.

[Evildrider]

As an aside.. I guess the Spidey fuckover will probably kill the chances of a Spidey 4.

Spidey 3 did that well enough.

My only problem with 3, was that they forced Venom on Raimi.  It just needed more Sandman.

[Llava]

Oh yeah, and the Hulk eats motherfuckers in Ultimates. I don't mean, "he beats the shit out of them," eats, I mean he literally has a meal on motherfuckers because Captain America told the Hulk they called him gay.

Ultimate Hulk is a lot like Alan Moore's Mr. Hyde.

My only problem with 3, was that they forced Venom on Raimi.  It just needed more Sandman.

That was your only problem with it?  When he starts to turn emo, sees himself in a mirror and intentionally emoflips his hair didn't bother you?  The dancing in the streets didn't bother you?

Also, no, this storyline would have no bearing on any future movies.  Kinda like how they keep making Batman movies no matter how many times DC rewrites him.

[Lantyssa]

That was your only problem with it?  When he starts to turn emo, sees himself in a mirror and intentionally emoflips his hair didn't bother you?  The dancing in the streets didn't bother you?

It was high low comedy.  We were laughing so hard because it was so bad.  I don't think that was the intended effect though.

What bothered me most was MJ.  I don't know how her portrayal was in the comics, but I want to gag every scene she's in and plot hook about her.