F13's Greatest Hits

[Velorath]

Because we are nothing if not a monument to our own history, some of my favorite forum drama threads:

The thread wherein the graph is created. (Surprisingly the thread goes on until page 15 before the graph shows up).

Vajuras: Champion of Marvel Ultimate Alliance.

The coming... of grunk!

Geldon we hardly knew ye:

1

2

Jackhobs?

Vanguard defense force activate!

Sirbruce's thoughts on Mexicans and comic books.

Let thejeni help you get in touch with your old MMO friends!

Rise of the starfuckers.

Did somebody say twitch?  I think somebody said twitch.

Feel free to add to this as needed.

Edit: Fixed second link

[schild]

You posted too many. I predict a short thread that does not make the next list of memorable threads.

P.S. My favorite one is still the Grunk one.

If the Eve one with that egomaniac fruitbag was still in tact, I'd post that one as my own (if biased) favorite.

[Velorath]

You posted too many. I predict a short thread that does not make the next list of memorable threads.

What can I say, I have a fondness for threads centered around douchebags.  I love rereading this stuff for whatever reason.


Edit: I'm also somewhat curious to see what other peoples' favorite moments here are.

[Margalis]

Ha ha at Bruce claiming to work in the comics industry when he worked in a warehouse. Oh that Bruce!

[K9]

The mech thread should probably be in there, but I cannot for the life of me remember where it is.

[Fordel]

I love the chart thread, so much.

[FatuousTwat]

Holy shit, Bruce's last post was in 2005? Has it really been that long?

Edit: also, your first 2 links are the same.

[Sheepherder]

I'm suprised you guys didn't ban this tard already.

We tried, but its his site.

 

[schild]

http://forums.f13.net/index.php?topic=17135.0

[bhodi]

Goddamn, there's a page and a half of me arguing sperging with morat20 over spontaneous pvp 2 pages before the charts start. That feels like a loooong time ago.

I did finally find my game, it was eve online and it was glorious.

You should really edit those links to go directly to the funny.

[Cyrrex]

Here's one of my favorite Grunk quotes:

Oh and one last statement. Fuck PVP. For real, I get nothing from pwning you n00bs in an mmo, not a god damn thing. But dragging one of u fuckwads on to c/s or cod4 and hearing you scream and cry while my AK goes through your dome, shit is great… so fuck you. Give me a great PVE game over this bullshit, fake sense of accomplishment you RTARDS get from a PVP mmo… because you know what, no matter how hard you try, how many hours you log… when you go on ur xbox or a pc fps… your still gona have guys like me, with my ballz bouncing off your fucken far head.

And how can you forget one of the greatest Grunk threads?  Made largely great by Slayer's posting of Grunks best posts:

http://forums.f13.net/index.php?topic=13545.0

I'm still searching for his "recycle your soda cans so you can upgrade your vidcards, fegs" post...might be in the retirement thread.  Or an AOC thread.

[bhodi]

I'm still searching for his "recycle your soda cans so you can upgrade your vidcards, fegs" post...might be in the retirement thread.  Or an AOC thread.

I remembered that it was "sunny d" bottles which made the search easy.

not sure i understand the hate on AoC?

Game appears to be really good and the fact that i see people on here shouting about how they are sick of cookie cutter games, i dont get it.

Game has a ton of depth, nice graphics, fun combat... good pve. All the bitching about balance, thats n00b talk people. i cant wait for AoC.

The game imo, is well made. its not like this WoW sht, where my character does the same lame anamations... a lvl 10 demo/necro spells look 10X better then a lvl70 mage lol.

face it, the people who are bitchin, are poor fuktards who cant build a pc, maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers..

*edit*

I dunno about war. AOC looks better then war on fucken lowest settings, nuff said, so go sell a kidney and stfu n00bs.

[Cyrrex]

Thanks, how could I forget the sunny d bottles?!

[Yegolev]

I wish grunk would come back.

[Signe]

He seems to pop in every now and then.  I'm sure he's very busy.

[Der Helm]

A google image search of "thejeni" produces some suprising results.

[schild]

Every avatar in the thread is indexed and they all say "Terracotta Army" next to it. You've all been labeled, publicly. Feeling pretty good about that.

[IainC]

Half of those links are in boards that are off limits to me... I'm clearly not part of the secret club.

[Velorath]

Half of those links are in boards that are off limits to me... I'm clearly not part of the secret club.

Are you unable to read the Den or the Graveyard or something?

[schild]

Developers can't see the den. Correct.

[WayAbvPar]

I kind of miss being that fired up about things. Any more I just shake my head and quit reading the threads instead of lambasting retards with clever insults. But holy fuck AW and geldon were annoying.

[Khaldun]

geldonyetich pretty much manages at some point to pollute every single commercial MMO's official forums. What I find hilarious is that geldon shows up pretty much after the first three or four weeks of live with hilariously Taliban-esque pronouncements about what the true believers in the game think and hating on everyone else. Completely predictable. Makes Prokofy Neva the psychotic Second Life person look well-balanced by comparison.

[Soln]

Needs to include D-e-r-e-k S-m-a-r-t, Garthlik (from WAR, bravo), Schilling (selling air and epeen) and that guy from the Uberguild who showed up because of his Google Alerts.  Good times.


Edit: fixed...

[Khaldun]

I shouldn't have said Prokofy Neva. Pretty much the same as saying D**** S****.

[Morfiend]

I had some damn good ideas in the starfuckers thread. Shame about WAR.

[Teleku]

I bet in the future someday the Cataclysm thread in the WoW forum will end up on a list like this.   

[Yegolev]

He probably googles his name with the dashes in it.  He's awesome like that.

[Arthur_Parker]

The WAR forum again.

TianZi

Grim and same thread later on, tolakram.

[Khaldun]

The Grunk thread doesn't have his .sig on the posts anymore. 

[Morfiend]

The WAR forum again.

TianZi

Grim and same thread later on, tolakram.

I forgot about his brand of crazy. The ImmInst.org stuff is priceless.

[Morat20]

Goddamn, there's a page and a half of me arguing sperging with morat20 over spontaneous pvp 2 pages before the charts start. That feels like a loooong time ago.

I did finally find my game, it was eve online and it was glorious.

You should really edit those links to go directly to the funny.

Man, someone must have pissed in my cheerios that week.

[WindupAtheist]

That chart thread really was the Trammel thread to end all Trammel threads. All previous Trammel threads were mere prologue, and all that came after were half-hearted attempts to recapture it's glory. Only the Baldur's Gate Radicalthon beats it for the title of most fun I've ever had with a forum.

Plus the Monty Hall math problem that crops up about halfway through always blows my mind. I mean I understand it and can explain why it's correct, but there's always been some lizard part of my brain screaming that it must be wrong. So every time I read it, I have to go through and explain it to myself again.

Anyway, here's an anatomy of the "Tanks versus Mechs" thread. It was really about five threads in one, each more horribly geeky than the last.

Page 1: Hey look, Richard Garriot left NCSoft!

Page 2: Schild and I are already slapfighting over JRPG versus Ultima.

Note: I was completely right and Schild was ridiculously wrong.

Page 3: Triforcer makes a tongue-in-cheek "Star Wars versus Star Trek" reference and kicks the geekness up a notch.

Note: Triforcer is a much bigger geek than anyone here realizes. That particular reference is a fucking dog-whistle.

Page 4: Trek versus Wars is in full swing, geek quotient increasing exponentially.

Page 6: I make reference to other nerdy "versus" debates, including stuff related to Battletech. IT BEGINS. I loudly expound upon how mechs are stupid.

Page 7: Gryeyes to the rescue, and now the lines of battle are drawn in earnest.

Note: Fuck you gryeyes. Mechs are fucking stupid like your face.

Page 8: As an aside, fuck you people and your nanobots too. Merry Christmas.

Page 13: It was a long battle, but the mechfuckers have been beaten into submission. We descend into "Dude fairies have MDC!" discussion of tabletop RPG minutiae.

Page 14: Everyone has a chuckle at the weeaboo fucks claiming they're going to build a mech out of some garbage. The thread shuffles off into death a couple pages later.

[bhodi]

Man, that was a great thread.

[JWIV]

Page 13: It was a long battle, but the mechfuckers have been beaten into submission. We descend into "Dude fairies have MDC!" discussion of tabletop RPG minutiae.

FUCK.  I can't believe I missed a RIFTS discussion. 

[rattran]

Douchebucketry removed.

Don't be douchebuckets.