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Author Topic: The Grunkster Retires  (Read 23795 times)
grunk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 172

This poster is a gibbering retard. Also, he used to post from a rehab clinic.


on: June 20, 2008, 08:58:47 AM

... from ffxi.

Washed a shore on windurst and surrounded by sawed off midgets, A young galka escaped the slavery of the bastok mines. With the odds awlays against him, he drove on to become a god.

It was a great run... the greatest ever. The great Dark Knight leaves behind... what was the greatest mmorpg ever made.

I wana thank... nah fuck it. Those should thank me, for i was the reason they all got there ABJ, there Relics, there AF ,there ying yangs, there torques, there shadow mantles, there bah staff.. shit every item in the game, yall rode the galka to the promised land... and so on.

Grunk was a god. When DRK's were joked about, there is but one legend. One DRK to rule them all, with the power of the club, Grunk 2-8'ed hes way to legendary status... and became the greatest Final Fantasy character in the history ... of final fantasy.

Man, Myth, Legend but above all else... Galka.

Shit, FFXI is dead, it has lost its greatest hero...


Look out deathwisper, there is a new sherif in town.
Slayerik
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4835

Victim: Sirius Maximus


Reply #1 on: June 20, 2008, 09:00:09 AM

Oh FFS ... This could be the greatest post ever.

"I have more qualifications than Jesus and earn more than this whole board put together.  My ego is huge and my modesty non-existant." -Ironwood
Trippy
Administrator
Posts: 20399


Reply #2 on: June 20, 2008, 09:01:54 AM

awesome, for real
cevik
I'm Special
Posts: 1690

I've always wondered about the All Black People Eat Watermelons


Reply #3 on: June 20, 2008, 09:03:25 AM

So where did you find this guy?  Was the vault having a half price sale?

The above space is available for purchase.  Send a Private Message for a complete price list and payment information.  Thank you for your business.
grunk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 172

This poster is a gibbering retard. Also, he used to post from a rehab clinic.


Reply #4 on: June 20, 2008, 09:03:54 AM

Oh FFS ... This could be the greatest post ever.

I R in it to win it mutha fucka.

and ... here ... we ... ... g o
grunk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 172

This poster is a gibbering retard. Also, he used to post from a rehab clinic.


Reply #5 on: June 20, 2008, 09:04:46 AM

So where did you find this guy?  Was the vault having a half price sale?

U

R

G A Y
lac
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1657


Reply #6 on: June 20, 2008, 09:05:17 AM

Quote
and ... here ... we ... ... g o
feel free
tazelbain
Terracotta Army
Posts: 6603

tazelbain


Reply #7 on: June 20, 2008, 09:06:11 AM

... from ffxi.

Washed a shore on windurst and surrounded by sawed off midgets, A young galka escaped the slavery of the bastok mines. With the odds awlays against him, he drove on to become a god.

It was a great run... the greatest ever. The great Dark Knight leaves behind... what was the greatest mmorpg ever made.

I wana thank... nah fuck it. Those should thank me, for i was the reason they all got there ABJ, there Relics, there AF ,there ying yangs, there torques, there shadow mantles, there bah staff.. shit every item in the game, yall rode the galka to the promised land... and so on.

Grunk was a god. When DRK's were joked about, there is but one legend. One DRK to rule them all, with the power of the club, Grunk 2-8'ed hes way to legendary status... and became the greatest Final Fantasy character in the history ... of final fantasy.

Man, Myth, Legend but above all else... Galka.

Shit, FFXI is dead, it has lost its greatest hero...


Look out deathwisper, there is a new sherif in town.
Emo Allot?

"Me am play gods"
schild
Administrator
Posts: 55020


WWW
Reply #8 on: June 20, 2008, 09:07:39 AM

Trippy
Administrator
Posts: 20399


Reply #9 on: June 20, 2008, 09:10:11 AM

So where did you find this guy?  Was the vault having a half price sale?
An institution.
photek
Terracotta Army
Posts: 618


Reply #10 on: June 20, 2008, 09:17:34 AM


"I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away"
Slayerik
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4835

Victim: Sirius Maximus


Reply #11 on: June 20, 2008, 09:22:29 AM

Grunk - A Trbute to Greatness

"For all you guys walkin around in your trash gear, on your trash toons. if you wana know what "uber" actually looks like
Here j00 g0"




He brought Original Hits such as

"you emo A LOT. how about, I take your avatar sig, and give him a box cutter?"

"thank god, there is one other person that has a phucken clue on this board?

YOU PEOPLE FAIL"


and with such ingenious WoW hate such as

""HAI GUYZ! HEY MORON! CLICK THE GUY WITH THE GOLD DOT!!!! DING!"

"Good. Stay in your DIKU clone piece of shit. I am so sick of people bitchin about system specs. I swear, you people are so cheap, you probably use the paint chips off the wall to wipe your ass

"Omg, ive been using the same toilet paper for 5 years, why do i gota buy a new roll!"

"It doesnt matter how how many rolls Blizzard puts on the rung, WoW is still shit.
Why is that? why is it, I am one thats insulted on this board. Thats a fact. Everytime I try to talk, someone injects some jack ass comment. "

WoW, WAR ... dont give a shit. I dont give a mystic shit, how many rolls you put on the rung.

I T' S  S T I L L  S H I T"


He loved games that we dare not!

"Um yeah... am i the only one who liked EnB?"

Concerning POTBS "All in all, the game was in no way on my radar, and from watching the vids, talking to people imo, this could be the best mmop coming out. " - What Foresight!

And this priceless re-entrance to our world!

"w/e

The Grunkster is here to restore balance to the force. After all the shit that has come out, finally a good game and these bitches ... well they bitch.

Fucken clown shoes. these same fags are probably playing EvE online, or that lolWOW shit, i dont care. AoC looks uber, so go QQ it up bitches!"


And who can forgot the epitome of smack talk, from the great one!

"LOL @ U emo asshat. Go die in a fire, a fucken forest fire!"

"And if your hands are so fat that you can't play a console game, ill destroy in c/s source... guess you expected me to challenge you in like DnD or some fag shit. nope.

in fact, ill rape you in any fucken FPS... ANY. pick a game bitch and the last thing youll see me squatin my nuts on your face after i pwn you. Oh man, im gona enjoy this.

And after you, bring schild so i can tap that ass to!"

"come on you fegs, AoC is pure win. After all the trash mmos, all the BS ... we finally have a good game and ppl still bitchin? :P




Thank you grunk, for all the laughs. You should be nominated for a lifetime cocklove award.

Signed,

Everyone





« Last Edit: June 20, 2008, 09:34:11 AM by Slayerik »

"I have more qualifications than Jesus and earn more than this whole board put together.  My ego is huge and my modesty non-existant." -Ironwood
Hutch
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1882


Reply #12 on: June 20, 2008, 09:26:30 AM

So where did you find this guy?  Was the vault having a half price sale?

He knows the very difference 'tween a phucken and a taru
His learnings of the scythe and sword will very surely scare you

Cimmeria will tremble when he sets his foot within it
On message boards, reminders that he's in it just to win it

On matters pharmaceutical, you know he's always right
He is the very model of a modern anime dark knight

Plant yourself like a tree
Haven't you noticed? We've been sharing our culture with you all morning.
I don't really mind how much you love me
Dtrain
Terracotta Army
Posts: 607


Reply #13 on: June 20, 2008, 09:30:16 AM

Grunk, why did you leave FFXI?

Playing any game for ~5 years must mean you liked it a lot, so I'm curious what pushed you over the edge.
Numtini
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7675


Reply #14 on: June 20, 2008, 09:34:11 AM

I believe Grunk truly represents the mainstream of AOC official message board posters and OOC chatters. I am certain he will do well in the game.

If you can read this, you're on a board populated by misogynist assholes.
Lantyssa
Terracotta Army
Posts: 20848


Reply #15 on: June 20, 2008, 09:35:06 AM

How I hoped there was a joke behind this and the real poster was finally revealed.

Damn you!

Hahahaha!  I'm really good at this!
photek
Terracotta Army
Posts: 618


Reply #16 on: June 20, 2008, 09:36:30 AM

"I've been pushed down so many times
I feel this time will be the last
as I lay here fading
my thoughts are invaded by memories of my past
I feel the pressures of shame and rejection building
as I lay here on the floor
I have no strength to get up
I'm not worth it any more"


-Grunks last words to FFXI.

"I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away"
grunk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 172

This poster is a gibbering retard. Also, he used to post from a rehab clinic.


Reply #17 on: June 20, 2008, 09:37:16 AM

I believe Grunk truly represents the mainstream of AOC official message board posters and OOC chatters. I am certain he will do well in the game.

w/e

You WoW-Fuck-Twats have invaded OOC and have turned it in to liquid babby shit.


I found way to glitch meh Kraken Club on 2 meh barbarian, I R teh man.
Draegan
Terracotta Army
Posts: 8993


Reply #18 on: June 20, 2008, 09:52:56 AM

Isn't all baby shit liquid?
Miasma
Terracotta Army
Posts: 5282

Stopgap Measure


Reply #19 on: June 20, 2008, 09:57:29 AM

I've never been the type to post in an "epic thread" just for the sake of it but even I have my breaking point.

Here is a safe sex image I stole from one of Signe's posts years ago for absolutely no reason.  I don't feel reason applies to a grunk filled thread.

photek
Terracotta Army
Posts: 618


Reply #20 on: June 20, 2008, 09:58:28 AM


"I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away"
Numtini
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7675


Reply #21 on: June 20, 2008, 10:06:55 AM

Quote
You WoW-Fuck-Twats have invaded OOC and have turned it in to liquid babby shit.

Yes, it was so much better in the golden days when we played Conan before WOW came out.

Oh wait, I don't play wow.

If you can read this, you're on a board populated by misogynist assholes.
sam, an eggplant
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1518


Reply #22 on: June 20, 2008, 10:21:46 AM

Lets end this the only way I know how.

I am become threadkiller, destroyer of worlds.

Quote
GRUNK AND LT. WORF, A LOVE STORY

"Worf, are you sure this is going to be fun?" asked Grunk as the klingon
finished chaining him to his bed.

"Of course it is, Grunk.  I have done this many times before with little
boys.  Now, is the latex suit uncomfortable?"

"Yeah, it is.  It itches," whined Grunk.

"Stop whining, ensign," boomed Worf and booted the ensign on the head
with a steel-toed boot.

"Oh!  Woft, I thought you say that there would be no pain!"

"I lied you miserable twerp!"

Worf kicked Grunk in the ribs for further emphasis.

"Aouch!  MOM!" wailed Grunk to no avail.  Worf's bedroom/torture chamber
was soundproof.

Grunk tried to struggle against his bonds, but it was no use, and only
hurt his wrists as the edges of the metal cuffs bit into his skin.  He was
lying face down on Worf's matress-less bed, with each arm and each leg
chained to a bed-post.

His latex suit covered his entire body, with openings at the crotch and
the ass crack, and with some breathing holes over his mouth and nose.  He
was beginning to think that maybe this was not quite his idea of hot sex.
 It was so much better with Pickard or Ryker, who had comfortable beds
and used nothing more uncomfortable then silk hankerchiefs for tying him
down.

As Grunk was struggling, Worf started up the fireplace and stuck a poker
into it, leaving it there.  He then pulled out a large tube of KY-Jelly
out of his dresser and liberally applied its contents to Grunk's
asshole. Tentetavely he inserted his finger in and wiggled it inside
Grunk.

"How does this feel?"

Despite the uncertain and scary situation, Grunk liked the feeling.  He
gasped with pleasure and answered "This feels good!  Don't stop."

Worf pulled the finger out, sniffed it appreciatively, and pulled out a
glove made entirely out of sandpaper.  He put it on and then thrust his
finger up Grunk's ass again.

"AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!" screamed Grunk.

Worf thrust the finger in and out several times as Grunk screamed and
writhed in pain.  He then applied some more KY-Jelly and thrust two
fingers in, ignoring the boys cries for his mommy and the pleas for
mercy.  After a few tentative thrusts, Worf put all his fingers together
and slowly worked the entire sandpaper-covered fist inside Grunk's ass.

Grunk was no longer screaming now since his teeth clenched in agony and
in addition to the feeling of the sandpaper in his rectum he now had
painful spasms in his jaw muscles.  Then his passed out from the sheer
pain.

Worf, seeing that Grunk was no longer writhing in pain, pulled his fist
out and reached for a bucket of ice-cold water, which he dumped over the
boy's head.

"Please let me go.  I want my mommy!  I want Commander Ryker!" whimpered
Grunk as he came to.

Worf ignored him and instead pulled the now red-hot poker out of the
fireplace.

He applied more KY to Grunk's asshole, which was now bleeding somewhat
from the sandpaper, and proceeded to slowing insert the red-hot poker up
Grunk's rectum until nothing but the handle were visible.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH
H!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Grunk as only someone
in excruciating pain can scream.  He thrashed about as much as his bonds
permitted, but this caused him only further pain as the poker ripped more
and more intestine.

"Aaahhhh," said Worf appreciatively as he sniffed at the air - containing
an auroma of burned flesh, blood, shit, and KY Jelly.  Then he started
fucking Grunk's asshole with the poker until Grunk stopped moving, and
then he pulled it out.

"Hey, Ensign, wake up!" the bellowed, but there was no responce.  He
booted the boy in the head, but that failed to wake him up either.  So
did another bucket of ice-cold water.

Puzzled, Worf checked Grunk's pulse.  Grunk did not have one.

"Hmf," said Worf distainfully.  "Klingon boys can take that!"
« Last Edit: June 20, 2008, 10:24:50 AM by sam, an eggplant »
grunk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 172

This poster is a gibbering retard. Also, he used to post from a rehab clinic.


Reply #23 on: June 20, 2008, 10:24:49 AM

IM SO UBER, THEY EVEN MAKING A MOVIE ABOUT MEH, DARK KNIGHT!
Montague
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1297


Reply #24 on: June 20, 2008, 10:29:35 AM

... from ffxi.

Washed a shore on windurst and surrounded by sawed off midgets, A young galka escaped the slavery of the bastok mines. With the odds awlays against him, he drove on to become a god.

It was a great run... the greatest ever. The great Dark Knight leaves behind... what was the greatest mmorpg ever made.

I wana thank... nah fuck it. Those should thank me, for i was the reason they all got there ABJ, there Relics, there AF ,there ying yangs, there torques, there shadow mantles, there bah staff.. shit every item in the game, yall rode the galka to the promised land... and so on.

Grunk was a god. When DRK's were joked about, there is but one legend. One DRK to rule them all, with the power of the club, Grunk 2-8'ed hes way to legendary status... and became the greatest Final Fantasy character in the history ... of final fantasy.

Man, Myth, Legend but above all else... Galka.

Shit, FFXI is dead, it has lost its greatest hero...


Look out deathwisper, there is a new sherif in town.

Fucking RP'er carebears... awesome, for real

When Fascism comes to America it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross - Sinclair Lewis.

I can tell more than 1 fucktard at a time to stfu, have no fears. - WayAbvPar

We all have the God-given right to go to hell our own way.  Don't fuck with God's plan. - MahrinSkel
Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18810

Muse.


Reply #25 on: June 20, 2008, 10:33:24 AM


My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
stray
Terracotta Army
Posts: 16818

has an iMac.


Reply #26 on: June 20, 2008, 10:36:58 AM

Grunk is not real. Not an epic thread.
Nija
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2092


Reply #27 on: June 20, 2008, 10:37:05 AM

You WoW-Fuck-Twats have invaded OOC and have turned it in to liquid babby shit.

http://www.somethingawful.com/flash/shmorky/babby.swf


This explains everything.
Oban
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4662


Reply #28 on: June 20, 2008, 10:54:34 AM

Coprophiliac?

You seem to mention shit, in a myriad of forms, very frequently.

Was this the condition that forced you to spend time at the institution?


Palin 2012 : Let's go out with a bang!
Morfiend
Terracotta Army
Posts: 6009

wants a greif tittle


Reply #29 on: June 20, 2008, 10:55:03 AM

grunk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 172

This poster is a gibbering retard. Also, he used to post from a rehab clinic.


Reply #30 on: June 20, 2008, 11:12:52 AM

Grunk - A Trbute to Greatness

"For all you guys walkin around in your trash gear, on your trash toons. if you wana know what "uber" actually looks like
Here j00 g0"




He brought Original Hits such as

"you emo A LOT. how about, I take your avatar sig, and give him a box cutter?"

"thank god, there is one other person that has a phucken clue on this board?

YOU PEOPLE FAIL"


and with such ingenious WoW hate such as

""HAI GUYZ! HEY MORON! CLICK THE GUY WITH THE GOLD DOT!!!! DING!"

"Good. Stay in your DIKU clone piece of shit. I am so sick of people bitchin about system specs. I swear, you people are so cheap, you probably use the paint chips off the wall to wipe your ass

"Omg, ive been using the same toilet paper for 5 years, why do i gota buy a new roll!"

"It doesnt matter how how many rolls Blizzard puts on the rung, WoW is still shit.
Why is that? why is it, I am one thats insulted on this board. Thats a fact. Everytime I try to talk, someone injects some jack ass comment. "

WoW, WAR ... dont give a shit. I dont give a mystic shit, how many rolls you put on the rung.

I T' S  S T I L L  S H I T"


He loved games that we dare not!

"Um yeah... am i the only one who liked EnB?"

Concerning POTBS "All in all, the game was in no way on my radar, and from watching the vids, talking to people imo, this could be the best mmop coming out. " - What Foresight!

And this priceless re-entrance to our world!

"w/e

The Grunkster is here to restore balance to the force. After all the shit that has come out, finally a good game and these bitches ... well they bitch.

Fucken clown shoes. these same fags are probably playing EvE online, or that lolWOW shit, i dont care. AoC looks uber, so go QQ it up bitches!"


And who can forgot the epitome of smack talk, from the great one!

"LOL @ U emo asshat. Go die in a fire, a fucken forest fire!"

"And if your hands are so fat that you can't play a console game, ill destroy in c/s source... guess you expected me to challenge you in like DnD or some fag shit. nope.

in fact, ill rape you in any fucken FPS... ANY. pick a game bitch and the last thing youll see me squatin my nuts on your face after i pwn you. Oh man, im gona enjoy this.

And after you, bring schild so i can tap that ass to!"

"come on you fegs, AoC is pure win. After all the trash mmos, all the BS ... we finally have a good game and ppl still bitchin? :P




Thank you grunk, for all the laughs. You should be nominated for a lifetime cocklove award.

Signed,

Everyone








You are almost... cool.
grunk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 172

This poster is a gibbering retard. Also, he used to post from a rehab clinic.


Reply #31 on: June 20, 2008, 11:13:51 AM

Grunk is not real. Not an epic thread.

Not real? Real enough to drive from da Bronx to your home, and tap dance on your skull, Fagor.

and when I R done with teh dance, ill take your damn WoW cards and sell em, /flex.
« Last Edit: June 20, 2008, 11:15:39 AM by grunk »
grunk
Terracotta Army
Posts: 172

This poster is a gibbering retard. Also, he used to post from a rehab clinic.


Reply #32 on: June 20, 2008, 11:14:46 AM

You WoW-Fuck-Twats have invaded OOC and have turned it in to liquid babby shit.

http://www.somethingawful.com/flash/shmorky/babby.swf


This explains everything.


Congratz, your forum avatar ruined hulk and ghost rider, you have come one step closer


to becoming one with the fail.
Nija
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2092


Reply #33 on: June 20, 2008, 11:20:12 AM

Sam Elliot enhances everything he touches you blasphemous fool.
stray
Terracotta Army
Posts: 16818

has an iMac.


Reply #34 on: June 20, 2008, 11:22:43 AM

Grunk is not real. Not an epic thread.

Not real? Real enough to drive from da Bronx to your home, and tap dance on your skull, Fagor.

and when I R done with teh dance, ill take your damn WoW cards and sell em, /flex.

Not too far from you, I guess.

1099 Wall St W Lyndhurst #387, NJ 07071

Just don't add me to any mailing lists, OK? I'd rather get my head stomped in.


Your post was better before the edit btw. I don't play WoW.
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