Useless Conversation

[Nebu]

So moderation won't give you cancer!  Everyone dies of something and if you live long enough that something is usually cancer.

Living too long isn't moderation!   

[Signe]

I don't have any wives and all of them have never been pregnant.

[Nebu]

I don't have any wives and all of them have never been pregnant.

This is precisely why I love you.  You're my favorite Signe on these forums. 

[Signe]

[Nebu]

Ok... I meant that in a more "punch you on the shoulder" sort of platonic way. 

Your mastery of the emoticon shocks and beguiles me.

[Selby]

You know what makes me go  ?  Considering nine months of no sex plus however long lactation continues.  That shit can break up a marriage.

I don't understand this position honestly.  Some of us go years without ever having sex, what's another 9 months?  It's not like you will die or anything.

[Nebu]

9 months of no sex?  Most women are horny as hell when they're pregnant. 

[Merusk]

You know what makes me go  ?  Considering nine months of no sex plus however long lactation continues.  That shit can break up a marriage.

I don't understand this position honestly.  Some of us go years without ever having sex, what's another 9 months?  It's not like you will die or anything.

There's a difference between going years without having sex while sleeping alone, and sleeping in a bed next to a woman with whom you've had sex before, and will again, but are being told "don't touch." Not only "don't touch" but in most guys case "Don't touch yourself, either."

[Selby]

There's a difference between going years without having sex while sleeping alone, and sleeping in a bed next to a woman with whom you've had sex before, and will again, but are being told "don't touch." Not only "don't touch" but in most guys case "Don't touch yourself, either."

How often do you really need it anyway? ;-)

[stray]

I suggest to sprinkle Comet on your balls. Or maybe just spray a little Pinesol or something. That might convince a pregnant woman to get you off.

Of course, she'll probably die afterwards. And so will the kid.. But hey..

[lamaros]

There's a difference between going years without having sex while sleeping alone, and sleeping in a bed next to a woman with whom you've had sex before, and will again, but are being told "don't touch." Not only "don't touch" but in most guys case "Don't touch yourself, either."

Or you could just marry someone who isn't a complete whatever.

[Yegolev]

There's a difference between going years without having sex while sleeping alone, and sleeping in a bed next to a woman with whom you've had sex before, and will again, but are being told "don't touch." Not only "don't touch" but in most guys case "Don't touch yourself, either."

How often do you really need it anyway? ;-)

The scariest things about pregnant women have little to do with their physical shape.  You do what you need to do, brother.

[JWIV]

There's a difference between going years without having sex while sleeping alone, and sleeping in a bed next to a woman with whom you've had sex before, and will again, but are being told "don't touch." Not only "don't touch" but in most guys case "Don't touch yourself, either."

How often do you really need it anyway? ;-)

The scariest things about pregnant women have little to do with their physical shape.  You do what you need to do, brother.

Mmmm hormones.

[Nebu]

There's a difference between going years without having sex while sleeping alone, and sleeping in a bed next to a woman with whom you've had sex before, and will again, but are being told "don't touch." Not only "don't touch" but in most guys case "Don't touch yourself, either."

I have one word for women like that: Goodbye




EDIT: I'm much more understanding of a pregnant woman.  It must suck to be pregnant. 

[stray]

Ok, I thought my joke was funny.. but no one's laughing.

About the only solid thing I know about pregnant women is that they like the smell of cleaning products. So much so that they're all secretly tempted to digest them.

[edit] It's a sick joke, of course.. maybe that's why.

They like the smell of a lot of things really. So light some scented candles or something. Wear a strawberry condom. Maybe that'll get her comfortable. Who knows?? Doesn't hurt to try!

[Merusk]

There's a difference between going years without having sex while sleeping alone, and sleeping in a bed next to a woman with whom you've had sex before, and will again, but are being told "don't touch." Not only "don't touch" but in most guys case "Don't touch yourself, either."

I have one word for women like that: Goodbye

Hey, I'm with you there. I don't understand guys who stay in relationships with women so totally insecure about spousal masturbation AND who cut guys off, but there's apparently a lot of them.

[Signe]

There's a difference between going years without having sex while sleeping alone, and sleeping in a bed next to a woman with whom you've had sex before, and will again, but are being told "don't touch." Not only "don't touch" but in most guys case "Don't touch yourself, either."

I have one word for women like that: Goodbye

Hey, I'm with you there. I don't understand guys who stay in relationships with women so totally insecure about spousal masturbation AND who cut guys off, but there's apparently a lot of them.

How do you know?  Is there a special board where you guys go to talk about your secret wanking?  Was there some study done? 

[Rishathra]

Yes.  And yes.

[Nebu]

If sex wasn't so tightly regulated, you wouldn't see so many men willing to pay for it. 

[Cyrrex]

So you're saying we need to de-regulate sex?  You, sir, are the kind of Maverick I can really get on board with.

[Sky]

You, Palin, are the kind of Maverick I can really get on board.

I need to get a snow thrower.

[FatuousTwat]

There's a difference between going years without having sex while sleeping alone, and sleeping in a bed next to a woman with whom you've had sex before, and will again, but are being told "don't touch." Not only "don't touch" but in most guys case "Don't touch yourself, either."

I have one word for women like that: Goodbye

Hey, I'm with you there. I don't understand guys who stay in relationships with women so totally insecure about spousal masturbation AND who cut guys off, but there's apparently a lot of them.

How do you know?  Is there a special board where you guys go to talk about your secret wanking?  Was there some study done? 

Women aren't allowed into the HE-MAN WOMAN HATERS CLUB!

[Merusk]

Hey, I'm with you there. I don't understand guys who stay in relationships with women so totally insecure about spousal masturbation AND who cut guys off, but there's apparently a lot of them.

How do you know?  Is there a special board where you guys go to talk about your secret wanking?  Was there some study done? 

Yes, many studies. What I'm going off of is what I recall from my human sexuality course in college.

[Yegolev]

I just use my education in the School of Hard Bitches.

[Signe]

I don't know when to believe any of you!   

[Yegolev]

You can only believe me if my lips are moving.  Or if I am frowning.  Never when I am smiling.

Perl 6 worries me.  I think those people have taken a vacation from reality.  I'm hoping that it all pans out, but I'm just not feeling good about it right now.

The W3C does not worry me.  I know those people have taken a vacation from reality.  Even though I appreciate the simplicity of the XHTML 1.1 standard.  The XHTML people need to actually visit the CSS people, and vice-versa.  It just looks shitty when your XHTML people write poor CSS and your CSS people write poor XHTML.

In about ten minutes I get to find out about the latest reorg and what it means to me and my continued employment.  Or, rather, I hope I find out.  There's a manager of managers and a whiteboard involved, so I'm optimistic.

I stopped drinking again.  This time purposely.

[Signe]

You will never be King of the Patch if you don't learn to love the Pumpkin! 

Having said that, I no longer care about Perl having not knitted in years.  I'm happier for it, too.

[Yegolev]

I have little interest in the Pumpking.  I submitted one Perl bug and I'm done, I think.  I don't even remember what it was.  It was fixed anyway, so who cares?

Can't find the Great Pumpkin on TiVo, so I'll have to buy it, I guess.  I'm interested in pumpkins.  My son brought home a 184-pound one and I'm going to have to carve that bitch.  There's a pic on my Facebook.  The boy is convinced that, on Halloween night, it will rise up from the front step.

Having a yard sale this weekend, selling the baby clothes... and my wife says "Now we can't have another one!" and I say "I didn't think we were having another one already! That's why we are selling this stuff!"  The female brain is a mystery to me.

I'm also selling the 1992-vintage rollerblades.  Laces suck.  I'll get another modern pair.

[Signe]

184 pounds of pumkin!  Wowsers.  You could sit in it and hold a flash light.  Put it on the sidewalk next to the bus station when Halloween is over and someone will probably live in it.

[stray]

[voodoolily]

The puking pumpkin wins.

[rattran]

A sharp-toothed jack o'lantern, $15 worth of offal and blood from the butcher. Great fun every time.

[Signe]

Two cats, yearly exams, yearly vaccinations, one tube hairball remedy, a couple of sundry items, $250.  Sheesh. 

I guess I shouldn't complain.  They're my sweet babies.  But sheesh.

[Ingmar]

I think that's cheaper than our vet! But I think most everything costs more here.

[Signe]

I don't know where you are but I live in the middle of nofuckingwhere.  I guess I just didn't expect cats to be expensive.  These are my first cats, really, besides barn cats when I was little. I can get some of that back from their pet insurance, though.