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f13.net  |  f13.net General Forums  |  General Discussion  |  Movies  |  Topic: DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS (2021) 0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
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Author Topic: DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS (2021)  (Read 785 times)
jgsugden
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Posts: 2924


on: December 18, 2017, 08:05:14 PM

D&D

I choose to ignore Micronauts and GI Joe.

Every prior attempt has failed. I hope they learned from their errors.

I miss Good Eats.  *Sniff*
schild
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Reply #1 on: December 18, 2017, 08:29:03 PM

if we're still around by 2021, d&d is the least important thing I'm doing that year
jgsugden
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Reply #2 on: December 19, 2017, 02:07:16 PM

if we're still around by 2021, d&d is the least important thing I'm doing that year
Party pooper.

It still amazes me that they can't make a good D&D film considering it is a really generic concept - there are billions of stories you could tell that are all D&D - and even some really well known, super easy to sell, already outlined novel series that would get a lot of interest.  A Drizz't movie series, based upon a series of best sellers, would be very likely to cover costs, even if it sucked, just based upon all the book readers out there and their families.  So many people that read Drizz't growing up would want to take their kids to see the movies... 

I miss Good Eats.  *Sniff*
TheWalrus
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Reply #3 on: December 19, 2017, 02:08:53 PM

Just the online content alone concerning how to pronounce that fuckstupid name would pay for the movie.

Paelos: Somebody find that post where I declared Seattle dead, because those fuckers are NFL cockroaches in the NFC.
schild
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Reply #4 on: December 19, 2017, 02:11:39 PM

if we're still around by 2021, d&d is the least important thing I'm doing that year
Party pooper.

It still amazes me that they can't make a good D&D film considering it is a really generic concept

well

every fantasy movie is a d&d movie

turns out fantasy is just garbage for movies ʘ‿ʘ
satael
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Reply #5 on: December 19, 2017, 02:26:37 PM

They could try making a Faerun or Krynn movie instead of just D&D though that would probably be a total wreck anyway.
WayAbvPar
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Reply #6 on: December 19, 2017, 02:31:30 PM

They couldn't do any worse than this steaming pile of shit if they tried Krynn.

When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM

Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood

Who the hell taught you how to write? Fuck, that sentence is like internet transmitted face-attacking knives. Jesus. schild
Shannow
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Reply #7 on: December 19, 2017, 03:03:04 PM

They couldn't do any worse than this steaming pile of shit if they tried Krynn.

Triggered..Thanks alot.


Maybe they go the Jumanji route and try to make it funny/self-aware? A serious D&D movie would probably be crap.

Someone liked something? Who the fuzzy fuck was this heretic? You don't come to this website and enjoy something. Fuck that. ~ The Walrus
Zetor
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Reply #8 on: December 19, 2017, 03:13:42 PM

Will only watch this if they get Jeremy Irons to ruin his career again. A random youtube search produced this, but there are probably better videos.

(I remember the earnest nerdfights in the late 90s about how the 2000 D&D movie was going to be better than LOTR...)

HaemishM
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Prevent all damage that would be dealt to you and other troops you control.


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Reply #9 on: December 19, 2017, 03:26:14 PM

Holy fuck, I liked D&D when it came out but goddamn it was a fucking awful movie, with cringeworthy "acting" and dialogue even then, pre-LOTR. It has not aged well.

Samprimary
Contributor
Posts: 3683


Reply #10 on: December 19, 2017, 03:30:34 PM

the second d&d movie was oddly compelling compared to the first

which had no redeeming virtues
Samprimary
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Posts: 3683


Reply #11 on: December 19, 2017, 03:31:20 PM

I remember watching it and there was a literal plot wall for the side characters, and also elven tittyplate. like not breastplate but like full on tittyplate. I was suitably disillusioned by this movie
Samprimary
Contributor
Posts: 3683


Reply #12 on: December 19, 2017, 03:44:40 PM

oh I looked up the original movie's movie ranking and found the one incidental meta positive to its existence



hmmwwhah
HaemishM
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Prevent all damage that would be dealt to you and other troops you control.


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Reply #13 on: December 19, 2017, 05:23:57 PM

Jesus Christ, I remember Ballistics: Ecks vs. Sever (which may have been the worst title ever). It was a pile of burning garbage on another pile of turds.

Sir T
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Reply #14 on: December 19, 2017, 10:10:25 PM

I've never seen the first one but the second DND movie was alright. I've seen a lot worse movies. (Dodges the torches and pitchforks)

"The devil...the prowde spirite...cannot endure to be mocked. - Thomas Moore
MahrinSkel
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When she crossed over, she was just a ship. But when she came back... she was bullshit!


Reply #15 on: December 19, 2017, 10:22:58 PM

The first one was probably the best epic fantasy parody ever made.

--Dave

--Jello Biafra: "If evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve."
Comstar
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Reply #16 on: December 20, 2017, 01:36:24 AM

It's going to be in the same cinematic universe as GI Joe and My Little Pony.

Presumably this is Cobra Commanders latest plan to TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

Defending the Galaxy, from the Scum of the Universe, with nothing but a flashlight and a tshirt. We need tanks Boo, lots of tanks!
Johny Cee
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Reply #17 on: December 20, 2017, 11:53:57 AM

oh I looked up the original movie's movie ranking and found the one incidental meta positive to its existence



hmmwwhah

This has to be wrong....  they have the pic of the original James Caan Rollerball instead of the remake Rollerball.  Original was a good (though '70s scifi cheesy) movie.

Fake edit:  Looked it up and Rotten Tomatoes uses the original pic for both.  Original is 66% fresh.
Riggswolfe
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Reply #18 on: December 20, 2017, 01:03:40 PM

oh I looked up the original movie's movie ranking and found the one incidental meta positive to its existence



hmmwwhah

Not to derail things but I have a weird weakness for the Wing Commander movie. It's awful in every single way but I actually enjoy it. Like if I still had cable and was channel surfing and it was on I might watch it. I can't defend the movie or why I enjoy it despite how terrible it is.

"We live in a country, where John Lennon takes six bullets in the chest, Yoko Ono was standing right next to him and not one fucking bullet! Explain that to me! Explain that to me, God! Explain it to me, God!" - Denis Leary summing up my feelings about the nature of the universe.
jgsugden
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Reply #19 on: December 20, 2017, 01:15:09 PM

It's going to be in the same cinematic universe as GI Joe and My Little Pony.

Presumably this is Cobra Commanders latest plan to TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.
I've heard no statements indicating there will be any overlap of story elements between D&D and any other movie.  I think there might be marketing tie ins, but unless they try something like having each of these movies involve the same kid telling the story as if he was playing with his toys/games, I can't see a reasonable, much less watchable, way to connect them.

I miss Good Eats.  *Sniff*
Comstar
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Reply #20 on: December 20, 2017, 10:38:24 PM

I can't see a reasonable, much less watchable, way to connect them.

From what I understand, Cobra Commanders plans to TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD from the original series, are in no way reasonable. The movie will probably be his plan to use toys to indoctrinate the worlds children or something.

Defending the Galaxy, from the Scum of the Universe, with nothing but a flashlight and a tshirt. We need tanks Boo, lots of tanks!
HaemishM
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Reply #21 on: December 21, 2017, 10:37:45 AM

Two words. Weather Dominator.  why so serious?

jgsugden
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Reply #22 on: December 21, 2017, 10:40:57 AM

Outside porno, there is no room to combine My Little Pony, GI Joe and D&D.

I miss Good Eats.  *Sniff*
Ironwood
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Reply #23 on: December 21, 2017, 01:58:59 PM

Let's not do it inside porno either.

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
jgsugden
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Reply #24 on: December 21, 2017, 03:47:42 PM

Let's not do it inside porno either.
If there is any chance we can get Rachel Nichols to reprise her role as Scarlett in it, I don't care what else they throw into the mix.

I miss Good Eats.  *Sniff*
Abagadro
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Possibly the only user with more posts in the Den than PC/Console Gaming.


Reply #25 on: December 25, 2017, 01:49:49 AM

Not to derail things but I have a weird weakness for the Wing Commander movie. It's awful in every single way but I actually enjoy it. Like if I still had cable and was channel surfing and it was on I might watch it. I can't defend the movie or why I enjoy it despite how terrible it is.

It's a great ride to see how stupid Chris Roberts is.  Space bulldozer in 0 G and being silent because you will be heard through vacuum are two of my faves.

"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

-H.L. Mencken
justdave
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Reply #26 on: December 25, 2017, 05:20:53 PM

Let's not do it inside porno either.


Chickenshit.

"They started to resist with a crust that was welded with human brain and willpower."
justdave
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Reply #27 on: December 25, 2017, 05:27:33 PM

Holy fuck, I liked D&D when it came out but goddamn it was a fucking awful movie, with cringeworthy "acting" and dialogue even then, pre-LOTR. It has not aged well.

I think the best review of it I read was "Basically, any movie is in bad straits when everyone in the audience is disappointed that a Wayans brother has died." Sad, but true.

"They started to resist with a crust that was welded with human brain and willpower."
Sir T
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Reply #28 on: December 26, 2017, 06:18:17 PM

Not to derail things but I have a weird weakness for the Wing Commander movie. It's awful in every single way but I actually enjoy it. Like if I still had cable and was channel surfing and it was on I might watch it. I can't defend the movie or why I enjoy it despite how terrible it is.

It's a great ride to see how stupid Chris Roberts is.  Space bulldozer in 0 G and being silent because you will be heard through vacuum are two of my faves.

I read an interview with Erin Roberts years ago when he was promoting one of the *lancer games. He basically said that he has the script Chris wrote out, and it was wonderful. But the Studio pulled the money and forced him to cobble together something aroind the effects and stuff he had already made. Erin did dare to pildly Critisise him for not using the Kilrathi puppets they had made for the Games, though.

Which based on the "Star Citizen" shit means that Chris basically putzed around for years shoveling money at it, restarting, polishing, and rejecting everything anyone else did, till the Film studio lost patience and forced him to actually make the fucking movie with a shoestring. Which is why the effects looked really good and the acting partswere rubbish, despite having some Amazing talent in the cast.

"The devil...the prowde spirite...cannot endure to be mocked. - Thomas Moore
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