f13.net

D&D (http://variety.com/2017/film/news/paramount-g-i-joe-dungeons-dragons-1202644244/)

I choose to ignore Micronauts and GI Joe.

Every prior attempt has failed. I hope they learned from their errors.

Edit by Trippy: changed title and added trailer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiMinixSXII

March 2023

if we're still around by 2021, d&d is the least important thing I'm doing that year

Party pooper.

It still amazes me that they can't make a good D&D film considering it is a really generic concept - there are billions of stories you could tell that are all D&D - and even some really well known, super easy to sell, already outlined novel series that would get a lot of interest.  A Drizz't movie series, based upon a series of best sellers, would be very likely to cover costs, even if it sucked, just based upon all the book readers out there and their families.  So many people that read Drizz't growing up would want to take their kids to see the movies... 

Just the online content alone concerning how to pronounce that fuckstupid name would pay for the movie.

well

every fantasy movie is a d&d movie

turns out fantasy is just garbage for movies ʘ‿ʘ

They could try making a Faerun or Krynn movie instead of just D&D though that would probably be a total wreck anyway.

They couldn't do any worse than this (https://smile.amazon.com/Dragonlance-Dragons-Twilight-Lucy-Lawless/dp/B000Y7U996/ref=sr_1_1?) steaming pile of shit if they tried Krynn.

Triggered..Thanks alot.


Maybe they go the Jumanji route and try to make it funny/self-aware? A serious D&D movie would probably be crap.

Will only watch this if they get Jeremy Irons to ruin his career again. A random youtube search produced this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAIUf4HOgME), but there are probably better videos.

(I remember the earnest nerdfights in the late 90s about how the 2000 D&D movie was going to be better than LOTR...)

Holy fuck, I liked D&D when it came out but goddamn it was a fucking awful movie, with cringeworthy "acting" and dialogue even then, pre-LOTR. It has not aged well.

the second d&d movie was oddly compelling compared to the first

which had no redeeming virtues

I remember watching it and there was a literal plot wall for the side characters, and also elven tittyplate. like not breastplate but like full on tittyplate. I was suitably disillusioned by this movie

oh I looked up the original movie's movie ranking and found the one incidental meta positive to its existence

(https://i.imgur.com/KOD396l.png)

hmmwwhah

Jesus Christ, I remember Ballistics: Ecks vs. Sever (which may have been the worst title ever). It was a pile of burning garbage on another pile of turds.

I've never seen the first one but the second DND movie was alright. I've seen a lot worse movies. (Dodges the torches and pitchforks)

The first one was probably the best epic fantasy parody ever made.

--Dave

It's going to be in the same cinematic universe as GI Joe and My Little Pony.

Presumably this is Cobra Commanders latest plan to TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

This has to be wrong....  they have the pic of the original James Caan Rollerball instead of the remake Rollerball.  Original was a good (though '70s scifi cheesy) movie.

Fake edit:  Looked it up and Rotten Tomatoes uses the original pic for both.  Original is 66% fresh.

Not to derail things but I have a weird weakness for the Wing Commander movie. It's awful in every single way but I actually enjoy it. Like if I still had cable and was channel surfing and it was on I might watch it. I can't defend the movie or why I enjoy it despite how terrible it is.

I've heard no statements indicating there will be any overlap of story elements between D&D and any other movie.  I think there might be marketing tie ins, but unless they try something like having each of these movies involve the same kid telling the story as if he was playing with his toys/games, I can't see a reasonable, much less watchable, way to connect them.

From what I understand, Cobra Commanders plans to TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD from the original series, are in no way reasonable. The movie will probably be his plan to use toys to indoctrinate the worlds children or something.

Two words. Weather Dominator.  :why_so_serious:

Outside porno, there is no room to combine My Little Pony, GI Joe and D&D.

Let's not do it inside porno either.

If there is any chance we can get Rachel Nichols to reprise her role as Scarlett in it, I don't care what else they throw into the mix.

It's a great ride to see how stupid Chris Roberts is.  Space bulldozer in 0 G and being silent because you will be heard through vacuum are two of my faves.

Chickenshit.

I think the best review of it I read was "Basically, any movie is in bad straits when everyone in the audience is disappointed that a Wayans brother has died." Sad, but true.

I read an interview with Erin Roberts years ago when he was promoting one of the *lancer games. He basically said that he has the script Chris wrote out, and it was wonderful. But the Studio pulled the money and forced him to cobble together something aroind the effects and stuff he had already made. Erin did dare to pildly Critisise him for not using the Kilrathi puppets they had made for the Games, though.

Which based on the "Star Citizen" shit means that Chris basically putzed around for years shoveling money at it, restarting, polishing, and rejecting everything anyone else did, till the Film studio lost patience and forced him to actually make the fucking movie with a shoestring. Which is why the effects looked really good and the acting partswere rubbish, despite having some Amazing talent in the cast.

Official Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiMinixSXII

March 2023

Looks about on level with most marvel movies, I guess.

Looks fun to me. Not fun enough to see at a real theatre but I'll watch it when it goes to streaming for sure.

My biggest thought when watching the trailer was "I guess Chris Pine signed a contract that said he owed X movies and this was one he had to do?"

I predict that D&D (2023) will be much better than D&D (2000) or D&D (2005) and still nowhere near as good as The Gamers (2002).

Looks like goofy fun on the level of Guardians 2 or Thor 4 is about best case scenario, really expensive crap the more likely outcome.

FTFY

Sort of made me feel like "somebody watched Vox Machina and thought oh hey we can make a live-action thing like that and make something of this intellectual property".

I thought it looked fun. The bar on D&D movies is set pretty darn low, so if I get a dragon or two and a chuckle I'm fine.

The creative duo behind this wrote and directed the Vacation reboot, and Game Night. They're also the screenwriters on Spider-man: Homecoming. My expectations are set accordingly.

I'm surprised this somehow happened without Joe Mangianello or other notable celebrity D&D fans.  Not even a Stephen Colbert cameo?

There is at least one celebrity D&D player cameo:

https://screenrant.com/dungeons-dragons-honor-among-thieves-celebrity-cameo-details/

My money is on Vin Diesel as an orc.

No love for Matthew Lillard in that article?  Shame.

Matthew Lillard is who I thought of immediately after Joe Manganiello. Didn't realize Colbert was into D&D.

Colbert was into it a lot back in the very early days.  He has since done a charitable event or two with some of the Critical Role people.

If Henry Cavill can be a huge WH40K nerd that basically willed The Witcher TV series into existence with sheer fanboi enthusiasm, I don't think there should be a lot of surprise that Stephen Colbert is a huge geek that loves fantasy. He flew to New Zealand on pure speculation to be an extra for the LotR movies. Dude's hard-core.

--Dave

One of my favorite moments ever on Colbert was when James Franco(I think) challenged him with a LOTR trivia question. I think the question was something like "name 2 of the Valar." Colbert went off on a rant where he named them all and what their role was. It was epic. I found a page that has a caption of it and a few of his other Tolkien bits.

https://mediachomp.com/never-challenge-stephen-colbert-to-a-tolkien-showdown/ (https://mediachomp.com/never-challenge-stephen-colbert-to-a-tolkien-showdown/)

As for fan cameos:

I think it should be Joe Magnellio or Matthew Lillard. Though I think it'd be amazing if they got one or more Critical Role people to pop in briefly. Vin Diesel could be fun as well. Hell, make it all of them and make them another adventuring party the heroes come across.

Just stumbled on a promo for this movie and wondered why after years of successful "serious" fantasy starting with the LotR movies, through years of Game of Thrones, and now everybody wanting to mimic it... somebody thinks I want the old trash Hollywood fantasy movie back. I don't.

I do.

Lest we forget: those ended up sucking.   :awesome_for_real:

I thought Game of Thrones ended with season six, and no more seasons were made.

I like the point that lots of folks have been making lately that D&D sessions are often more like Monty Python than they are like Tolkien--wacky creative uses of spells, etc.

Absolutely. A true to form D&D movie is going to be at least equal parts silly and serious.

the only thing that ever got it right

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBqCSseQXsI

holy shit

rpgs were super important in 2020/2021 and i got back into them lol

I hadn't played D&D since middle school until early 2021 and I'm now in a nearly two-year campaign.  Thanks, COVID!

I started playing DnD during and because of the pandemic.  I now run three games.

I think this kind of got it right also.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zng5kRle4FA

Did I already mention the shot-on-VHS classic The Gamers (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSynJyq2RRo)?

have we done something wrong

Yeah, if you're going down that road, Zero Charisma (http://forums.f13.net/index.php?topic=20797.0) is where it's at.

tldr: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgbLhDUqAXM

According to the trailer Zero Charisma looks like a documentary about a certain type of player/DM one was saddled with more than once. The Gamers players at least look like a crowd you want to hang around with  :awesome_for_real:

I don't think any other D&D-inspired movie has made as bold of an attempt to show what goes on inside an actual D&D game (like, without resorting to ridiculous caricature and just letting the inherent humor work on its own) as "The Gamers" does, which is why I bring it up.  If Honor Among Thieves even quarter-asses it, it'll be a significantly better movie than any of the previous outings.

You're all amateurs. I started playing D&D in 1978 and have kept on with the same group ever since. Not as frequently, but we still get together 3 or 4 times a year.

I have so many questions.  Are you still on the original edition?  Original characters?  Or have you rebooted a few times over the years?

I ran a 2E campaign in high school where we met multiple times per week, and very sporadically during college I kept running the same campaign with the same players and their old characters converted to 3E.  By the time we wrapped up for real everybody was just about at the level cap, and it felt to me like the game system was basically broken well before that point.

So you're saying you'd be willing to DM a weekly game for us?

Yeah, we're still playing AD&D mainly with rules from the original books. Over all this time we've added a bunch of house rules to take off a lot of the sharp edges that Gary Gygax wanted. We don't have poisons where "even the tiniest sip" will cause you to die for example. The game started at the University of Waterloo in 1978 and we moved between there and Ottawa where most of us had our co-op jobs. After graduation, most of us got jobs in Ottawa and the game continued. We picked up new recruits from among our coworkers and that's remained stable ever since. So we're basically the same group as we were in 1982.

We played once a week at school and for the first few years in Ottawa as well. Since then people have moved around and a lot of us left Ottawa but we still get together 3 or 4 times a year to have a good long weekend session. With Covid, we're playing via Zoom and that's really working well.

At this point, we're all hitting the top levels. My mage has 18th and all the power that comes with it. Our DM has ruled that the Gods do not approve of the casual use of wishes and are happy to make that clear to anyone who should cast one except under the worst of circumstances.

We're running what I believe our DM considers to be his last campaign. It's been going on a few years now and it's finally bringing in elements that were mentioned in our early low-level days.

I don't think it would have gone this long except our DM is still obsessed with the game and is willing to put in countless hours. He hit the company stock jackpot and retired at 50 so he's had all the time in the world to keep building it up for us.

I did run a campaign for a few years and we alternated between me and our DM for a while but I shut it down about 30 years ago when I got a new job in Toronto. I've gone back and looked at it with thoughts of starting up again but I can't make heads or tails out of my own notes anymore.

We never did upgrade our D&D rules. Most of us learned them from playing D&D computer games like Baldur's Gate but our DM never played pc games and he never did learn the new rules. One good thing about that is that high-level wizards still rule the world. Once a mage hits level 9 and gets 5th-level spells he becomes an unstoppable DPS monster that can kill almost anything as long as it can't hit him back.

I've been DMing the same world in 3.5E since 2006 or so, but that's probably been 10-20 different campaigns. I have one player who's been here off and on the whole time, and have had the same exact group for the past six years or so.

Actually, we all have lower-level characters that we play as a second group 50% of the time. We're more invested in our big guys but our DM sweats blood making content for us so we give him a break by playing our lowbies half the time. They're all set in the same campaign but the two groups don't ever intersect because of the level/age/wealth differences.

Not to digress further but I want an Erol Otus art book so badly. I've even messaged his agent and several art book editors trying to get them to do something.

Amazon Studios Warhammer 40K stuff split off to here:

http://forums.f13.net/index.php?topic=26395.0

OGL stuff moved to here:

http://forums.f13.net/index.php?topic=26396.35

I'm honestly amazed there's anything left in this thread with all the off topic stuff split out.

Is this the Legend of Vox Machina thread?

There was a D&D movie?

The movie could be fun! If the people licensing it don't kill all the fun by being cunts!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGvv-Hhft3U

It looks like they've got the table talk of a group of players who are running riot over the DM and having a lot of fun doing it. Lots of Nat 1's.


I will go see it.

There's a handful of reviews that just came out from the premiere at SXSW and surprisingly they're all pretty positive (and several of them coming from legitimate sites). Mind you, when the movie releases in 3 weeks I don't expect the reviews to be as overwhelmingly positive, but it sounds like at the very least it might not be a total trainwreck.

Jumanji, that's mostly what this feels like.

For good or ill.

The movie came out today for where I am.

It's good.

Lags a bit at the start with a barrage of references "Baldur's Gate! Neverwinter! IceWind Dale!" and a lot of flashbacks, but it works.

Paladin's always walk in straight lines is a meme you'll see forever now.

Go see it, it's worth it.

I have to admit. I honestly thought this movie was Chris Pine's hostage crisis. "You either do Star Trek IV or a D&D movie. Your choice!" I'll be pleasantly surprised if this isn't a total train wreck. The super low bar it has to clear for me is "not as bad as that god awful movie with the Wayans brother as an annoying thief".

The only things that go under that bar are Uwe Boll movies, "The Room", "Manos the Hands of Fate" and the two (!) sequels to the Wayans bro D&D film, so yeah.

I went and saw this with one of my old D&D buddies and we enjoyed it quite a bit.  I think anyone who has fond memories of D&D and/or ren faires would.  It's miles better than the previous attempts and I could easily see myself watching it again. 

That said, I wouldn't expect a normie to get a lot of out it, and I'd be surprised if it made a ton of money.

We enjoyed it quite a bit and we are mostly normies.  The fantasy world feels unique, and all the different humanoids coexisting has an uplifting TNG feel. The story is pretty upbeat and the characters have heart.  Also, that dragon needs to be a plushie.

I didn't realize they were doing Forgotten Realms until the movie started - was a lot of fun overall. One pretty serious nitpick:

This was fun, and I don't think you need to be a D&D fan/player to enjoy it, though there are definitely some easter eggs you'll notice if you are. It also knocked John Wick 4 out of the #1 spot so it's doing alright box office.

Myself and my oldest (who both play DnD) liked it alot, as did my youngest (who does not play at all).  I think most normies will like it, and it will do fine at the box office.  Tons and tons of nods to people in the know.  All of their character backstories were very intentionally cliché as hell, and they really played it up in a few cases.  All the jokes about planning.  I thought most of the jokes landed pretty well.  I even managed to like Michelle Rodriquez, which is usually hard for me to do.

Also, it was visually quite well done, and so was the fight choreography.

It was adequately mediocre, which is a vast improvement over prior attempts.

I saw it on Sunday with the folks I play with, and we thoroughly enjoyed it. We're certainly the target audience, even if none of us are into Forgotten Realms at all. Not sure I want to see it sequeled to hell and back, but it overall delivered. My biggest complaint is probably that the trailer spoiled the funniest moment:

Having seen that bit in the trailer, I wound up being really pleasantly surprised that it wasn't a one off gag and they actually built a whole sequence around it.

Personally, I thought the whole Jarnathan bit was the funniest thing.  Poor Jarnathan.

I loved this show. Going again in the next couple days.

For me it was a toss-up between Jarnathan and Fat Dragon.

This was just good fun start to finish.

Watched this on streaming. It's a lot of fun. Well done.

Watched it today for the spouse's birthday. I quite enjoyed it and laughed when I saw the characters from the D&D cartoon in the maze!

Late to comment I saw it the week it came out. It's not Oscar material, or art or film festival award material, and it doesn't pretend to be.  It's a decent action comedy romp in a fantasy setting with intentionally obvious gaming root. It has decent enough acting, great visuals, and lots of inside jokes for anyone who's played any P&P RPGs but particularly D&D, but still fun for those who haven't.  As others said, lots of easter eggs, cliched archetypes, plots, sub-plots and scenes with some fun twists straight out of your typical non-serious tabletop campaign.  It was worth my money, and I wouldn't mind seeing it again when I can stream it with one of my services.

My mother told me today that she wants to see the D&D movie. She's not a fantasy or sci-fi fan or a gamer of any kind. She said it looks "fun". Also said "isn't it based on one of those games you play?"

Mind officially blown.

Watched this a week ago. This was fun. It entertained. I don't D&D, but I didn't need to. I wish more films like this were released.

Wonderful example of a fun film based on an existing IP that throws in an appropriate amount of easter eggs for the superfans while being totally accessible to everyone else.  Hope someone learns a good lesson from this one.

Avoided this at first, but you lot made me curious enough. Fun movie and enjoyed the easter eggs. Wife was a little lost and had to explain a few references, but overall she liked it.

I shall pen that wench a sonnet....

Just a particularly tortured bit of meta that tickled me.

--Dave

Wife loved it.

She's never played a minute of D&D.