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Author Topic: Useless Movies  (Read 167200 times)
schild
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Reply #210 on: May 23, 2017, 11:58:00 AM

Grabbing movies by actor. Of all the ones I've gone through, the following 2 people have - anecdotally speaking - the best careers achievement sets in Hollywood:

Philip Seymour Hoffman
Arnold Schwarzenegger

I'd probably put Kurt Russell up near the top. He's had a long career, done some iconic movies, and is still doing some really great stuff like Bone Tomahawk whereas with Schwarzenegger you kinda have to ignore everything he's done after True Lies.

I haven't gotten to Kurt yet, but I suspect this is accurate. And yeah, Schwarzeneggar post-mid 90s is ignored.

But 1980-1995 is just unbelievably solid. 1995-2000 isn't even that bad. 6th Day, End of Days, Eraser. They're not great but they're watchable.
My favorite is Takeshi Kitano...when he is in a film directed by Takeshi Kitano.  awesome, for real
This feels like cheating. His career is exceptional and his shitty films can't even be found with english subtitles.

I'd prefer to avoid roping japanese and korean actors into this particular list.
tar
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Reply #211 on: May 24, 2017, 10:34:15 AM

Ok, so now I'm curious. Where does Christopher Lee fit in this sort of ranking?
schild
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Reply #212 on: May 24, 2017, 11:20:24 AM

He doesn't. He's been in a fucking billion movies, 99% of which no one has ever heard of.

Edit: Looked it up, the guy has been working nonstop since the 40s and the ratio of absolute garbage to lord of the rings is about 75:1.
Velorath
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Reply #213 on: May 24, 2017, 12:12:02 PM

It mostly depends on how much affection one has for stuff like Hammer films but even fans of those movies (which I am to some extent) tend to find them more fun than good.
schild
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Reply #214 on: May 25, 2017, 02:45:13 PM

I Still Know What You Did Last Summer

In the remaster, you can see through JLH's wet bathrobe. They clearly noticed this as they put a thin bra on her in the next scene, but I don't think they ever expected blu-rays back when they filmed it.
Khaldun
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Reply #215 on: May 26, 2017, 03:44:59 AM

It would be fun to do this kind of thing for a much-lesser known character actor--the kind of person who has been in a zillion movies, is always good and often memorable, but who never really had a single iconic role or major break-through.
Velorath
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Reply #216 on: May 26, 2017, 04:28:01 AM

It would be fun to do this kind of thing for a much-lesser known character actor--the kind of person who has been in a zillion movies, is always good and often memorable, but who never really had a single iconic role or major break-through.


Those kinds of guys tend to have such a long filmography that it makes it a pain to go through. Sid Haig is probably the epitome of that sort of actor although he eventually ended up having an iconic role about 40 years into his career. Danny Trejo used to be an actor like that until they made Machete into an actual movie which backfired and kinda diminished that vibe he used to have by overexposing him.
schild
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Reply #217 on: May 27, 2017, 01:26:22 PM

Yellow van in XXX3 is labeled Pork Chop Express.

Edit: watched the movies in the wrong order. Am idiot.
« Last Edit: May 27, 2017, 02:10:50 PM by schild »
Sir T
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Reply #218 on: May 27, 2017, 07:35:54 PM

I read somewhere that Christopher Lee is second only to Anthony Quinn in the record for most movies made by an Actor. I always thought He was always fantastic but good God he made some shit to keep food on the table.

You could do worse than look up some Vincent Price. House on haunted Hill was a great movie, The Raven, The Abominable Dr. Phibes, and Master of the World are ones that spring to mind, but I loved everything I ever saw him in.

Bar Edward Scissorhands...

Hic sunt dracones.
MahrinSkel
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Reply #219 on: May 27, 2017, 08:02:49 PM

I read somewhere that Christopher Lee is second only to Anthony Quinn in the record for most movies made by an Actor. I always thought He was always fantastic but good God he made some shit to keep food on the table.

You could do worse than look up some Vincent Price. House on haunted Hill was a great movie, The Raven, The Abominable Dr. Phibes, and Master of the World are ones that spring to mind, but I loved everything I ever saw him in.

Bar Edward Scissorhands...
Vincent Price was in many truly horrible creature-feature schlock films (if you are old enough to remember when they were literally the only thing on TV late on Friday/Saturday nights, you'll have seen a lot of them).

Edward Scissorhands was sort of a big-budget callback to/subversion of those.

--Dave
« Last Edit: May 27, 2017, 08:04:34 PM by MahrinSkel »

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Sir T
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Reply #220 on: May 28, 2017, 09:59:55 AM

True enough. The guy admitted straight out that all the work he could get for a while was shlock movies and Edger Allem Poe costume stuff, but he believed in work, so he took the Jobs.

Hic sunt dracones.
schild
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Reply #221 on: May 29, 2017, 05:00:20 PM

Watched The 5th Wave. That alien-invasion Chloë Grace Moretz vehicle.

It is the worst movie I have watched among my uh collection. Whichever one Hellraiser 7 was, this was worse.
Velorath
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Reply #222 on: June 01, 2017, 03:37:53 AM

Watched Phantasm Remastered yesterday on Shudder. Solid movie and I'd like to revisit the others soon but I won't have much time over the next month (watching mostly exploitation movies for the Junesploitation event over at fthismovie.net) but will get around to it hopefully after that. Also caved and ordered a UHD blu-ray player and picked up Logan and La La Land. Movies are probably a bigger vice for me than video games these days.
schild
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Reply #223 on: June 01, 2017, 07:10:33 AM

Which UHD player did you buy? There's only like 2 or 3 on the market and none of them have tickled my fancy yet. I'm assuming the Samsung because the Xbox One S is stupid.
« Last Edit: June 01, 2017, 07:13:12 AM by schild »
Velorath
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Reply #224 on: June 01, 2017, 02:28:13 PM

I went with last year's Samsung since it's down to a fairly reasonable price at Amazon right now and this year's model didn't really add anything worth paying another $100 for. I can't see myself buying more than a handful of UHD discs since for the most part I'm fine with streaming but there are a few things I just wanted in better quality.
schild
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Reply #225 on: June 01, 2017, 02:44:27 PM

I've been thinking of getting one for literally five to ten movies because I haven't convinced myself 30gb+ movies are worth downloading.

Seeing as I have 8tb left I'm not sure why I'm being cheap with space.
Velorath
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Reply #226 on: June 01, 2017, 03:44:15 PM

I haven't really taken a look to see what the availability is for a lot of this stuff as far as downloading goes. With Logan (and Logan Noir) for instance just glancing on a couple sites I don't see anything higher than 1080p, but then I didn't really spend much time looking.
schild
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Reply #227 on: June 01, 2017, 06:10:24 PM

Ok. About 3/4 of the way through Terminator 5 - which is a way better movie than I remember. Easily the best since two, but that's not saying much considering Terminator 3 and 4.

First things first:

4 shouldn't exist. It's like some other company wanted to make a movie using other peoples terminator toys. That they pretend it does exist in 5 with John's scars really sucks.

Terminator 5 making the T800 get old is great, but the age of Sarah + the backstory completely erases the terminator 1 and 2 timeline, which is strange, since terminator 4 kinda pretends it does happen and then terminator 5 gets rid of those but 4 happened.

Anyway.

In short - these movies are terrible to watch in succession. The timelines are a giant fucking mess. Back to the Future it ain't. I suppose I could make some sense out of it if I tried, but I'd be reaching for a good bit of it.

Terminator 2 is still the best one. Terminator 5, with some slight changes, could've been as good as the first but instead they took a u-turn at "let's fuck this up-ville," which is a terrible road to go down. Terminator 4 never should've happened. Terminator 3 is, just like, whatever, man.

Sarah Connor Chronicles is better than 3 and 4 but exists in a totally different timeline and world basically, even if John and Sarah are there. I only mention it because the tv show had my favorite John Connor.
schild
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Reply #228 on: June 01, 2017, 06:13:59 PM



Ugh. I'll take it. I don't like it though.
schild
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Reply #229 on: June 01, 2017, 06:15:55 PM

(I hate it when people can't spell "Judgment").
Velorath
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Reply #230 on: June 01, 2017, 06:29:35 PM

You could probably find a simpler chart that just explains that the first two movies were good and the rest were not.
schild
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Reply #231 on: June 01, 2017, 06:35:16 PM

You could probably find a simpler chart that just explains that the first two movies were good and the rest were not.
awesome, for real

Genisys, stupid name aside, deserves a hair more credit than it was given.
Velorath
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Reply #232 on: June 01, 2017, 07:10:44 PM

I'm not sure who it's made for. It's kind of a reboot but relies so heavily on tweaking continuity that it ends up crawling up its own ass. People new to the franchise weren't going to be satisfied, and Terminator fans are just going to be constantly reminded how much better the first two movies were because Genisys takes so much from them.
schild
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Reply #233 on: June 01, 2017, 07:17:48 PM

I mean, it's mostly fan service.

As I watch allllllll these movies again, I'm trying to go in with a completely open mind - which is what made Alien worse for wear. I'm really trying to pretend I know nothing going in, even though I mostly do. It changes how you view these things. They become pocket universes. And as pocket universes, Terminator is a great one - and if it went T1, T2, T5 - I don't think the complaints would be nearly as many.
Velorath
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Reply #234 on: June 02, 2017, 05:17:17 AM

If I were tasked with making a Terminator sequel I'd much rather follow T3 and T4 than have to follow T1 and T2.
schild
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Reply #235 on: June 02, 2017, 07:32:26 AM

I mean I guess but I'm not really talking about the filmmakers "feelings" here.
HaemishM
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Reply #236 on: June 02, 2017, 08:00:20 AM

I actually liked T4 - my biggest complaint was that they pussed out and didn't kill John Connor and have Sam Worthington's character replace him as the leader of the resistance (seeing as how no one knew what Connor really looked like). T3 was garbage start to finish. I still haven't seen Genisys.

However, the Sarah Connor Chronicles was better than T3 and T4 combined, and I thought they really made a mistake not tying it into T4. I blame that on McG because fuck McG.

schild
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Reply #237 on: June 02, 2017, 08:05:14 AM

i am not sure what there was to like about t4

it was a bad terminator
it was also a bad war movie

Edit: It wasn't like offensive or anything, it was just dull and boring and incredibly poorly paced
schild
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Reply #238 on: June 03, 2017, 04:49:26 PM

watching all the marvel avengers stuff in the proper order

captain america is stupid and sucks
thor is stupid and sucks
really everyone is stupid and sucks

except iron man

it's not that they're BAD

it's that they suck and are stupid compared to RDJ's Iron man.
Velorath
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Reply #239 on: June 04, 2017, 01:50:54 AM

Watched a really good South Korean revenge film called Pietà the other night. I have no idea why Koreans love revenge films so much but damned if they aren't good at making them.
Mandella
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Reply #240 on: June 04, 2017, 10:11:46 AM

I actually liked T4 - my biggest complaint was that they pussed out and didn't kill John Connor and have Sam Worthington's character replace him as the leader of the resistance (seeing as how no one knew what Connor really looked like). T3 was garbage start to finish. I still haven't seen Genisys.

However, the Sarah Connor Chronicles was better than T3 and T4 combined, and I thought they really made a mistake not tying it into T4. I blame that on McG because fuck McG.

50/50 on that one. I agree that SCC was underrated, but T4? That one made me so mad I swore off the series. It just really bugged me in ways even T3 didn't -- maybe because I could see the blasted ruins of what was originally a good storyline, before Bale & Co. screwed it up.

Obviously haven't seen Genisys, but I've heard enough good word of mouth to make me consider reconsidering...
Bungee
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Reply #241 on: June 09, 2017, 06:04:58 AM

SO, I don't know if the "Dark Universe" stuff by Universal deserves its own thread.
I stumbled into the new "The Mummy" yesterday and only later found out that this was supposed to be the origin and kickoff for a new monsters instead of superheroes based Avengers style franchise with all the unlikable has-beens in main roles (Tom Cruise, Russel Crowe, Johnny Depp).
And boy did that kickoff suck. They just messed up everything. They could have made their dark universe really dark by making it R rated and following the success that Deadpool had with that course. But no. Nothing original, nothing actually dark, nothing toungue-in-cheek. It's just bad acting with some really lame "humor" and nothing that actually pulls you in. Part of that might've been the shitty cinema I watched it in but I don't seem to be alone in my sentiment looking at the ratings.

Apparently they originally tried to kick it off with "Dracula Untold" - a movie that actually tells a compelling origin story. Yes, nobody actually saw that movie but its tone and setting and directing makes a ton more sense for something called "Dark Universe" than this bullshit.

Sorry for the rant, I was pissed for having wasted time and money on this shit and then got even more pissed off when I found out it actually was supposed to kick off a new franchise (not like you couldn't tell during the movie, but I had to look up just wtf Universal was going for) with a promising setting and just fucked it up.

Freedom is the raid target. -tazelbain
HaemishM
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Reply #242 on: June 09, 2017, 07:17:10 AM

I found the whole idea of the Dark Universe franchise ridiculous, even moreso when they decided Tom Cruise should be a part of it. What character is Russell Crowe playing? The marketing on this is such shit, I didn't realize until I saw TV commercial yesterday that he was supposed to be a monster.

Bungee
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Reply #243 on: June 09, 2017, 07:49:08 AM

Russel Crowe is playing Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and the head of the whole organisation/team. Depp will be the Invisible Man. Cruise is now some Egyptian demigod. At some point Frankenstein and Dracula are supposed to enter the fray. As I said, I like the idea and fucking hate how much they fucked it up.

Freedom is the raid target. -tazelbain
BobtheSomething
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Reply #244 on: June 09, 2017, 09:08:45 AM

The best "Universal Monsters" movie in recent memory is The Monster Squad, which wasn't even made by Universal.


If they really want a franchise for horror monsters, they should adapt (or imitate) a successful Urban Fantasy book series.  Then they would have a template to follow and a stack of IP to sift through for the gold nuggets.
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