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Author Topic: Useless Movies  (Read 17035 times)
Velorath
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Reply #245 on: June 09, 2017, 03:49:30 PM

I can only say for anyone thinking about going to see The Mummy this weekend because they're curious if it's as bad as everyone says, just go watch It Comes at Night instead which also released this weekend.
Merusk
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Reply #246 on: June 09, 2017, 03:52:49 PM

Wife will watch The Mummy, she won't watch It Comes. Decision made.

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Bungee
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Reply #247 on: June 09, 2017, 04:00:17 PM

Wife will watch The Mummy, she won't watch It Comes. Decision made.

Does she know it's nothing like the Fraser movies?

Freedom is the raid target. -tazelbain
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Reply #248 on: June 09, 2017, 04:39:05 PM

Yes, but it's an action movie and not a horror thriller. Horror/ Thriller is an automatic Veto. Anything even close to "Aliens" in terms of suspense is an automatic no.

Considering her Father made her and her sisters watch Alien and Aliens at the ages of 4, 5, and 8 I can't really blame or push that one.

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Reply #249 on: June 09, 2017, 05:38:08 PM

but the new mummy was SUPPOSED to be a horror thriller

it just failed at doing everything
Mandella
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Reply #250 on: June 09, 2017, 11:49:12 PM

I wasn't watching the Mummy trailer that showed before Guardians II (I find them spoilery), but my wife was, and then she started to giggle halfway through. I was like what? It's supposed to be a horror movie isn't it?

All she would do was chortle something about "Tom Cruise" and "bugs."

I don't think that trailer was producing the desired reaction at all.
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Reply #251 on: June 10, 2017, 05:53:13 AM

Yeah I never got horror from ANY of the marketing or promotion. Everything said post-2015 action drama instead of 1999 action comedy.  What a huge fail on their part.

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Reply #252 on: June 10, 2017, 03:31:45 PM

Watching Attack on Titan (the live action version of the anime version of the manga).

Have not read the manga or seen the anime.

This movie is fucking insane.
Merusk
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Reply #253 on: June 10, 2017, 04:30:58 PM

I had no idea there was a live action version. What's the insane part to you?

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Reply #254 on: June 10, 2017, 05:45:36 PM

The whole thing. Having no experience with the source material and an almost complete disregard for story, the movie is just absurd.
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Reply #255 on: June 10, 2017, 06:08:16 PM

I read the reviews online. Little Beyond the premise is aligned with the manga or anime. The terror of the Titans are really subverted by the bad rubber suits, even though they really look similar.

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Reply #256 on: June 10, 2017, 06:15:35 PM

I think they looked great, going into it knowing very little.
Merusk
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Reply #257 on: June 11, 2017, 11:37:28 AM

Yeah, they weren't 1960's Godzilla terrible, but they didn't seem high quality and I just didn't find them creepy enough in the vids I found on Youtube. The anime versions gave me chills.

The whole story is pretty good so far. Sounds like it's a lot more interesting in the anime/ manga since it's a agrarian society that's just developed the 3d web and sword tech. Apparently there's tanks and shit in the live action? Not true to the sources and makes you wonder why they'd go for bouncing around like trapeze artists.

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Reply #258 on: June 11, 2017, 11:45:38 AM

I don't remember a tank. They had shitty cannons though. And the tech looked pretty rough.
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Reply #259 on: June 12, 2017, 04:04:53 PM

I enjoyed the anime and the trailer looks good enough for me to give it a watch.  I assume it's not available to stream anywhere legally?

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Reply #260 on: June 12, 2017, 06:50:14 PM

No idea.
Merusk
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Reply #261 on: June 13, 2017, 07:58:22 AM

The Mummy wasn't as terrible as I expected. It was still all over the place tonally, never able to decide if it was an Action-Comedy or an Action-Drama. It definitely never, ever, ever tried to be a Horror movie, so I don't know where that sentiment came from.

The beginning is very close to Brendan Frasier's The Mummy, but with a modern setting. The Mummy was buried in Mesopotamia (Iraq) and Cruise and his buddy are recon/ looters who stumble on the tomb. There's a lot of action/ comedy here that works OK but not great. Then once the tomb comes out it goes to Action-Drama until the crash you've seen in the trailers and from Cruse's resurrection until the Mummy captures him it switches to Action-Comedy again. Like I said, tonally it's all over the place. Someone doesn't have a clear vision for what they want to do in this Universe.

Speaking of the DU There's a few Easter eggs for the Dark Universe that are presented on the border of bludgeoning you with them; A vampire skull, and a hand from a creature in the Black Lagoon. Nothing I noticed about Invisible Man, Wolfman, or Frankenstein's Monster, though. There was also an Easter Egg reference to Frasier's The Mummy series when the Book of the Dead shows up in the same artifact library. I wouldn't take it as an implication this universe ties into that series, only something the director wanted to toss in as a BS reference.

There definitely won't be a way of discarding this from the DU lore like they did with Dracula, though, because after the Universal Logo you get a big "DARK UNIVERSE" logo that's just the Universal logo in black and gold.

The tie-in for all these movies is Crowe's Jekyl/ Hyde. He's the leader of an organization that's dedicated to fighting evil in the world. Think of the Mummy's Maji on a broader scale and with less morality. Crowe does a really good Jekyl and Hyde, knowing just how hammy to make Hyde when he finally appears.

The movie ends with Cruse predictably getting all the power of Set and becoming a tortured human/ monster trying to resolve his curse. It's apparent this is how all the "Heroes" are going to be used. Putting together tortured man/ monsters to fight bigger evils. Ovarall Dracula: the untold story would have worked well in this universe with this as the plan. They should have stuck with keeping it in, despite the terrible box office.

I'd love to know what bigger Evil they have planned that will take the Universal monster crew to address and not be shlocky and utterly ridiculous. There's nothing in Universal's entire quiver I can think of that will fit that puzzle.

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Reply #262 on: June 13, 2017, 09:53:41 AM

The Mummy was buried in Mesopotamia (Iraq) and Cruise and his buddy are recon/ looters who stumble on the tomb.

That makes them the bad guys from the original Mummy. ಠ_ಠ
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Reply #263 on: June 13, 2017, 10:13:47 AM

Yeah, Cruise isn't meant to be a good guy. He's a liar, thief, and looter which is why the Mummy chose him as her vessel to complete the curse. Then again, so was Frasier you just ignored those aspects of the character's personality because of the rest of the movie.

ed: Also I meant to mention this movie was more worth watching than Baywatch, Aliens: Covenant, or Pirates, IMO.
« Last Edit: June 13, 2017, 10:55:16 AM by Merusk »

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Velorath
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Reply #264 on: June 14, 2017, 01:21:31 AM

Despite the presence of Ellen Page the trailer for the Flatliners remake isn't doing anything for me.
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Reply #265 on: June 14, 2017, 01:59:07 AM

Trailer was fucking terrible.

Also it doesn't need to exist. The original isn't exactly good and the premise is dumb.
HaemishM
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Reply #266 on: June 14, 2017, 10:12:37 AM

Why the fuck would you think a remake of Flatliners was needed, ever? The first one is barely memorable even as a concept.

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Reply #267 on: June 15, 2017, 01:41:38 PM

Why the fuck would you think a remake of Flatliners was needed, ever? The first one is barely memorable even as a concept.

The first one had Kiefer Sutherland, but I could be biased.

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Reply #268 on: June 15, 2017, 03:26:42 PM

Why the fuck would you think a remake of Flatliners was needed, ever? The first one is barely memorable even as a concept.

The first one had Kiefer Sutherland, but I could be biased.
I think the new one does also.
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Reply #269 on: June 18, 2017, 08:46:31 AM

Dad was visiting last week so I didn't have much time to slam down movies, but yesterday I snuck in The Pyramid.

That is not a good movie.
Mandella
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Reply #270 on: June 18, 2017, 12:25:46 PM

Why the fuck would you think a remake of Flatliners was needed, ever? The first one is barely memorable even as a concept.

I dunno, isn't that a good reason to remake it? The fact that they screwed it up the first time?

And as for the concept, at the time the whole out of body experience thing during death was, well, a thing. Lot's of pop culture focus on "real" accounts and such, so the movie was just riding a topical wave. Now, not so much I'll admit...

I know! They could gender swap the cast and write a script that mostly just makes meta-references to the first movie! Instant gold!
 Oh ho ho ho. Reallllly?
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Reply #271 on: June 19, 2017, 07:48:18 PM

Shimmer Lake, a Netflix original on streaming right now. Clever little dark comedy crime thriller. Enjoyed the hell out of it, and hey it's less than 90 minutes. Fun performances, snappy writing, fine direction. I have no complaints.

Nothing the reads BIG SUMMER MOVIE but I would have been pleased to have seen it in a theater on matinee.

“All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” - Pascal
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Reply #272 on: June 20, 2017, 08:36:57 AM

The Ruins is not a good horror movie and it has some really out of place extreme gore. Crushing someones bones with a frying pan to cut off his legs and cauterizing them with the same frying pan. Like, ok.

I suppose the only interesting thing about it is a lot of the physical damage is done by the survivors/victims themselves.
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Reply #273 on: June 20, 2017, 11:21:25 AM

The Ruins is not a good horror movie and it has some really out of place extreme gore. Crushing someones bones with a frying pan to cut off his legs and cauterizing them with the same frying pan. Like, ok.

I suppose the only interesting thing about it is a lot of the physical damage is done by the survivors/victims themselves.

The Ruins is one of those weird movies that I saw some good reviews for (some from the blogs of other horror writers as an example of horror done right) but I totally agree with Schild -- good premise, but done just awful. Stupid people who were stupid long after they should have figured out just how bad their situation was.

I completely missed what anyone saw in it.
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Reply #274 on: June 24, 2017, 02:42:16 PM

Is it just me, or is Beauty and the Beast basically "Stockholm Syndrome: The Movie"?

Never noticed that when I watched the animated version way back, but the live action remake is creepy as fuck.

--Dave

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HaemishM
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Reply #275 on: June 24, 2017, 02:50:46 PM

That's pretty much the story, if you look at it that way. The whole premise even back to the Jean Cocteau version is very indicative of fairy tales about princesses who are rescued by a man. We only notice it now because hopefully we are getting a little woke.

Mandella
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Reply #276 on: June 25, 2017, 11:48:12 AM

Is it just me, or is Beauty and the Beast basically "Stockholm Syndrome: The Movie"?

Never noticed that when I watched the animated version way back, but the live action remake is creepy as fuck.

--Dave

Stockholm Syndrome gets a bad rap. I mean, it's a pretty clear survival function to be able to adapt to and integrate with whatever situation you find yourself with, especially if it is initially hostile.

To the movie specifically, I haven't seen the live action recent one, but the old animated one at least showed Belle influencing the Beast's behavior as much as he was influencing hers, or more. It was kinda trying to make the point that everybody has some good inside that can be reached, or something like that. Or maybe don't judge a book by its beastly cover.

But then it's early, and I'm not entirely woke up yet.
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Reply #277 on: June 25, 2017, 12:33:00 PM

The new movie did that also. It's really not Stockholm Syndrome, as that only goes one way. This is certainly a mutual affair.

What it definitely is, is Bestiality: The Movie. Belle was totally ready to do him and he happened to turn into a dude.
Cyrrex
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Reply #278 on: June 27, 2017, 12:30:01 AM

Went with the wife and two older kids to see the latest Transformers movie.  Here is my review:


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Reply #279 on: June 27, 2017, 12:49:40 AM

A small fortune? Didn't it cost nearly a quarter of a billion dollars?
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