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Author Topic: Useless Movies  (Read 9531 times)
apocrypha
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Planes? Shit, I'm terrified to get in my car now!


Reply #140 on: April 25, 2017, 11:47:57 AM

Seconded this. It was worth the streaming rental. Good horror in the John Carpenter Prince of Darkness vein.

Oh, really? Love that film, I'm interested now.

"Bourgeois society stands at the crossroads, either transition to socialism or regression into barbarism" - Rosa Luxemburg, 1915.
Velorath
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Reply #141 on: April 26, 2017, 06:04:52 AM

Finally got around to watching Crystal Lake Memories after mentioning it to schild in connection with Never Sleep Again (which I've already seen). It's a fairly exhaustive look at all the Friday the 13th movies up to and including the reboot as well as a bit about the entirely unconnected TV series. It had the effect of me now wanting to rewatch all the movies despite having seen just about every kill in the series over the course of this documentary.

Not as good as Never Sleep Again which has a tighter focus due to less movies to cover, but I suspect most people already know if "seven hour Friday the 13th documentary" sounds appealing to them.
Signe
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Reply #142 on: April 26, 2017, 10:22:08 AM

Not gonna bother to bump the thread, but the latest Star Trek was Beyond Terrible.

Better than New Trek 2, but not by much. Jesus Wept, this franchise needs to STOP.

It took me a while but I saw what you did there.

My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
Ironwood
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Reply #143 on: April 30, 2017, 12:18:50 PM

You're welcome.

Get Out was fantastic and I'm not sure why there's not a thread.  Also, GotG 2 was great if you like GotG.  I did.  So it was.

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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Reply #144 on: May 05, 2017, 09:35:36 AM



Managed to grab this print in the 90 seconds it was available.

F5 wars for sick prints are stupid.
RhyssaFireheart
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Reply #145 on: May 05, 2017, 10:43:40 AM

That is a damn nice looking print.

schild
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Reply #146 on: May 05, 2017, 08:50:21 PM

Just watched Founder. It was absolutely superb.
Khaldun
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Reply #147 on: May 08, 2017, 06:35:02 AM

Our teen is on a horror-watching kick, so she asked me which of the late 70s/early 80s 'classics' she should watch: Halloween, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street. I told her to skip Friday the 13th, it's just dumb and she's essentially already seen it, since the film's blueprint has been repeated a million times on TV and in other films. I said, Halloween first and Nightmare second. So we all watched Halloween. I had a hard time not MST3King Donald Pleasance's scenes, and she was kind of astonished at tension built in part around phones that are stuck in one place. She also asked incredulously whether we'd found it scary back then, and I said, "Well, not so much scary as suspenseful?" This was only mildly acceptable.
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Reply #148 on: May 08, 2017, 07:42:41 AM

No Hellraiser, Shining, The Thing, Poltergeist or Pet Sematary?
HaemishM
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Reply #149 on: May 08, 2017, 08:45:09 AM

Most '80's horror movies were sort of scary but not really. The Exorcist, however, scared the ever living fuck out of me as a 13 year old.

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Reply #150 on: May 08, 2017, 09:06:04 AM

Most '80's horror movies were sort of scary but not really. The Exorcist, however, scared the ever living fuck out of me as a 13 year old.

M I S S I S S I P P I

 Ohhhhh, I see.
HaemishM
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Reply #151 on: May 08, 2017, 09:09:08 AM

When you've been metaphorically beaten about the head and neck by religion from the time you can remember, in churches where tongues are regularly spoken by the same blue hairs and the congregation only marginally looks down on the snake handlers, you are a prime candidate for pants-shitting territory while watching The Exorcist.

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Reply #152 on: May 08, 2017, 09:42:53 AM

Well, yeah. That's what I was saying.
Engels
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Reply #153 on: May 08, 2017, 03:11:54 PM

Ok, three 'obscure' horror movies not yet mentioned that I have watched recently:

The Green Room with Patrick Stewart. Punk band gets held hostage by Pacific Northwest neo nazis, starring Stewart as a calculating leader of the nazis. We may have talked about this one but it bears mentioning again.

Open Grave. This one's harder to describe, but it's just off the hook good. Relies on horror more than jump scares and is just well written. Think Memento meets hell on earth. Not giving it justice. Just watch. Also, not for weenies.

The Monster. The trailer is not going to give it justice, since all it portrays is the actual 'problem' the characters face. What is not portrayed is the exquisite depiction of the mother/daughter relationship and how the danger forces them to look at it. There is an elegance in the storytelling, an impressive concise effectiveness. Its nearly as if the Berlin Film Festival had an affair with Jurassic Park and this is the result.

None of these films are cheerful. The latter in particular can leave you feeling a bit drained, in no small part because the child's acting is so convincing you might be horror struck for a while thereafter.

Also, ffs watch Get Out, if for nothing more than the fact that it is a decent Carpenter-esque film. We should have a thread on this film and I am not sure why we don't.

I should get back to nature, too.  You know, like going to a shop for groceries instead of the computer.  Maybe a condo in the woods that doesn't even have a health club or restaurant attached.  Buy a car with only two cup holders or something.

-Signe

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Velorath
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Reply #154 on: May 08, 2017, 03:44:36 PM

Our teen is on a horror-watching kick, so she asked me which of the late 70s/early 80s 'classics' she should watch: Halloween, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street. I told her to skip Friday the 13th, it's just dumb and she's essentially already seen it, since the film's blueprint has been repeated a million times on TV and in other films. I said, Halloween first and Nightmare second. So we all watched Halloween. I had a hard time not MST3King Donald Pleasance's scenes, and she was kind of astonished at tension built in part around phones that are stuck in one place. She also asked incredulously whether we'd found it scary back then, and I said, "Well, not so much scary as suspenseful?" This was only mildly acceptable.


Nightmare on Elm Street 1 and 3 hold up I think, and Friday the 13th IV as well (maybe 3 also). The original Dawn of the Dead has some flaws and the effects in particular may now pale compared to the Walking Dead but it's probably still worth watching. For something just batshit crazy Suspiria is probably the most "accessible" of the 70's giallo movies. The first two Hellraiser movies are also still watchable I think. Creepshow would be a good example of a horror anthology, The Fly is a good body horror movie, and Return of the Living Dead and Evil Dead 2 are obviously good examples of horror/comedy if she's interested in watching different sub-genres of horror.
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Reply #155 on: May 09, 2017, 08:06:25 AM

Friday the 13th part 3 was the 3d one, no?  I didn't care for that one as much as the other early movies; IV is easily the best.  Dawn of the Dead is still excellent, but yeah, the blue/green makeup on the zombies looks weird nowadays.  Night and Day are both worth watching as well, but especially Night since it was so important in the development of the genre.  I'd also suggest Texas Chainsaw Massacre if they actually want something that might be frightening; it holds up well and has never been properly imitated.

The Changeling is a good ghost story from '80 that is underrated and well worth watching.  The 80s had some good vampire movies as well: Near Dark, Fright Night and Lost Boys are all good.  In the horror-comedy genre I think American Werewolf in London deserves a mention.  I would recommend Re-Animator, but there's a decapitated head cunnilingus scene that might be cringy to watch with a daughter.  Still, it's a fantastic movie.

If you want to get really far out and push the slasher genre as far as the 80s could take it, Sleepaway Camp is a ton of fun.  Just don't read any spoilers.

"For a long time now I have tried simply to write the best I can. Sometimes I have good luck and write better than I can." - Ernest Hemingway
Signe
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Reply #156 on: May 10, 2017, 09:02:23 PM

Puppetmaster 3!  I just re-watched it a few days ago.  I had forgot how much fun it is.  Nazis!  I've been watching a LOT of horror lately.  It's probably my fav film genre.  Recently I've re-watched some that I quite liked: The Conjuring - a good old fashioned (sorta) haunted house film, Insidious, The Haunting (the old one from the sixties), 1408, and The Cube. 

Oh... and anything with Captain Spaulding or Bruce Campbell in it.

My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
Velorath
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Reply #157 on: May 10, 2017, 09:30:30 PM

Friday the 13th part 3 was the 3d one, no?  I didn't care for that one as much as the other early movies; IV is easily the best.  Dawn of the Dead is still excellent, but yeah, the blue/green makeup on the zombies looks weird nowadays.  Night and Day are both worth watching as well, but especially Night since it was so important in the development of the genre.  I'd also suggest Texas Chainsaw Massacre if they actually want something that might be frightening; it holds up well and has never been properly imitated.

The Changeling is a good ghost story from '80 that is underrated and well worth watching.  The 80s had some good vampire movies as well: Near Dark, Fright Night and Lost Boys are all good.  In the horror-comedy genre I think American Werewolf in London deserves a mention.  I would recommend Re-Animator, but there's a decapitated head cunnilingus scene that might be cringy to watch with a daughter.  Still, it's a fantastic movie.

If you want to get really far out and push the slasher genre as far as the 80s could take it, Sleepaway Camp is a ton of fun.  Just don't read any spoilers.

Yeah, Friday the 13th Part 3 was the 3D one. It's also notable for Jason first getting the hockey mask.

And yes, Sleepaway Camp is great.
SurfD
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Reply #158 on: May 10, 2017, 11:41:34 PM

My old roomie from my college days was a horror fan.  Had about 200 odd VHS tapes for just about everything you could Imagine.  I remember watching most of the classic stuff with him, Friday, Elmstreet, Halloween, Chucky, Most of the HellRaisers, Evil Dead, Army of Darkness, several about a psychotic guy who was a Doctor (or maybe thought he was a Doctor, not sure), and dozens more that I can barely remember.

One of the few of the semi-b-grade ones that has remained stuck in my head over the years was one called The Mangler.   Moderately good tale about a couple of Scooby Gang type teens who think they have stumbled across a cult of demon worshipers preforming evil rituals and decide to go for the "and I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids" happy ending, only to find out that they actually just fucked up a ritual some bunch of good guys were using to contain the thing.  The movie itself was solid, but not super or anything, but the main reason it sticks in my head is that I remember the final climactic chase seen being one of the most terrifying things I have ever seen on television.

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Reply #159 on: May 11, 2017, 03:43:41 AM

Are you sure it was The Mangler because that's the name of the Stephen King story about the demonic laundry press that Tobe Hooper adapted?
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Reply #160 on: May 11, 2017, 06:42:08 AM

I've been watching the Hellraiser series this week, and until these posts completely forgotten The Mangler exists. IIRC, isn't the mangler triggered by accidental blood during moving? If so, the mangler is born the same way as the first Hellraiser resurrection occurs.
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Reply #161 on: May 11, 2017, 06:28:03 PM

Freddy vs Jason was excellent. I saw it back when it came out, but boy. What a movie. Total respect for both franchises, top to bottom and could not have been executed much better tbh.
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Reply #162 on: May 12, 2017, 06:25:27 AM

I'm currently halfway through the Nightmare reboot from 2010. I like Haley as Freddy. He's far less whimsical than Englund, but he's also a stronger actor, like actually something to be afraid of versus Englund's sort of 80s campish villain thing. Ultimately, the movie is a bit of a failure, though I can't completely define why yet - but it's insanely gorgeous. In a way most horror movies aren't.

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Reply #163 on: May 12, 2017, 07:02:40 AM

In fairness to Englund, that campiness/whimsy wasn't really present in the first Nightmare on Elm Street.  That was a pretty serious horror movie.  It mostly started in the sequel and then really ramped up in the third movie.  Since we only got one movie with Haley it's tough to say where the character would've gone in reboot sequels.  But you're right, he wasn't what was wrong with that movie.

Also, Freddy vs. Jason is awesome.  The only thing it's missing is Kane Hodder, and even that is just because I really would've liked to see him and Englund being Jason and Freddy together on screen at least once.  The fellow they got to play Jason did a fine job though.

"For a long time now I have tried simply to write the best I can. Sometimes I have good luck and write better than I can." - Ernest Hemingway
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Reply #164 on: May 12, 2017, 07:19:45 AM

Yea, I thought the Jason was fine.

So, yeah, Nightmare on Elm Street reboot, finished it. Stunning looking movie. It just felt soulless, and I suppose that's its crime. Absolutely nothing about it was compelling. It wasn't bad, it just didn't do anything.

Edit: And yeah, outside of a handful of lines, the first Nightmare wasn't too whimsical.
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Reply #165 on: May 12, 2017, 08:54:30 AM

So, yeah, Nightmare on Elm Street reboot, finished it. Stunning looking movie. It just felt soulless, and I suppose that's its crime. Absolutely nothing about it was compelling. It wasn't bad, it just didn't do anything.

This. I wanted to like it, and Haley was a great choice for Freddy. There was just nothing about the movie to recommend it at all. It was so flat, I don't really remember much about it at all. It felt like they just didn't have anything they really cared to say with the movie. It felt very much like a studio driven paycheck movie as opposed to any kind of reverent revival of the series.

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Reply #166 on: May 12, 2017, 09:31:26 AM

and yet it was still fun to watch

It's a headscratcher that it was so one-note.
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Reply #167 on: May 12, 2017, 10:31:52 AM

They rebooted Nightmare on Elm Street?  swamp poop

That somehow flew right under my radar.

In other news, I just acquired a copy of Heavy Metal and am about to watch it. Let's see if I've grown up any since 1981.

 Oh ho ho ho. Reallllly?
Khaldun
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Reply #168 on: May 13, 2017, 08:23:23 PM

We've already done Exorcist; she was impressed with that. Lots of it is still--I dunno, emotionally involving, there's a strong legitimate feeling of dread. Scary isn't quite it. It's more that it has real gravity to it.

We did The Thing a couple years back. She thought that was really great.

The Shining she found boring and stilted, and not at all scary, though she did think the typewriter-reveal moment was great. She made fun of Jack Nicolson's performance and I have to admit I ended up feeling the same way. It really, really doesn't age well.

Night of the Living Dead and Dawn of the Dead are on the list. So is Poltergeist.

I never thought much of Hellraiser, but I suppose we could watch it.


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Reply #169 on: May 13, 2017, 10:20:02 PM

Honestly, I think the best horror has come out of Asia. The Host, Ju On, Ringu, etc.

I wish that was stuff I'd watched when I was a teenager but I was basically stuck with 80s stuff because we were just getting into the 90s. I have a strong fondness for Congo, which isn't horror unless you really like gorillas. But also, it has Tim Curry.

Anyway, I'd introduce her to Asian shit. If you want a real list, I can give you one.

On Hellraiser, I have a respect for what they're doing, but frankly they did not not will they ever get the budget to do what they really want to do.

Well, maybe they will if Eli Roth does an installment. Though he works on a shoestring he seems way better at stretching that shoestring than most directors.

Edit: also, not sure it's been mentioned but you all should watch Suspiria and Opera from Dario Argento.
SurfD
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Reply #170 on: May 14, 2017, 12:47:22 AM

Are you sure it was The Mangler because that's the name of the Stephen King story about the demonic laundry press that Tobe Hooper adapted?
Yep, that was the one.   The final scene, where a gigantic, probably 50 to 60 tonne Demonically Possessed Steam laundry press rips itself out of the ground and chases them through the Warehouse / Factory the were in was just plain awesome.

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Reply #171 on: May 14, 2017, 06:34:12 AM

Suspiria is amazing.  I wonder how it plays with a modern young audience though.  It's the epitome of Italian giallo style over substance and is gorgeous, but the plot doesn't make much sense. There are some parts at the end that I remember being more goofy than creepy.

There's a remake of it coming out this year though, so watching the original before that is surely worthwhile.  Not sure how they're going to reproduce the technicolor of the original.

"For a long time now I have tried simply to write the best I can. Sometimes I have good luck and write better than I can." - Ernest Hemingway
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Reply #172 on: May 14, 2017, 11:15:37 AM

Hellraiser is a series that gets actively worse with every installment. It's kind of amazing.
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Reply #173 on: May 15, 2017, 10:29:07 AM

Jeeze. I actually agree with Schild on Hellraiser. Even the first is a movie that I remember really liking for the concept, but on rewatch I'm not so sure they actually executed the concept all that well.

This is a series that I could see having a good total reboot, but I'm not sure who I'd have do it.
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Reply #174 on: May 15, 2017, 10:31:30 AM

Jeeze. I actually agree with Schild on Hellraiser. Even the first is a movie that I remember really liking for the concept, but on rewatch I'm not so sure they actually executed the concept all that well.

This is a series that I could see having a good total reboot, but I'm not sure who I'd have do it.

I've already thought this through.

Guillermo Del Toro.
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