For the love of god, and all that is holy, avoid the new Indiana Jones movie.

[UnSub]

Constantine > Transformers

Oh god, I agree.

Yep.

[Samwise]

It's just occurred to me that John Constantine is like an occult version of Dr. Who.

The real Constantine, I mean, not the Keanu one.

[Morat20]

It's just occurred to me that John Constantine is like an occult version of Dr. Who.

The real Constantine, I mean, not the Keanu one.

I need to pick up more of the Hellblazer collections....

[Phildo]

My problem with Hellblazer was where to start.  Haven't they been publishing him forever?

[Samwise]

Every time I go to a bookstore with any sort of comic section I do a quick scan for any Hellblazer trades that I don't have yet.  I've got about a whole shelf full of them by this point.  Luckily, they don't generally suffer for being read out of sequence.  The trades aren't even numbered (I still have yet to go through my collection and try to organize it by issue).

[stu]

Do you have the Brian Azzarello trades? Man, I have to pull those out of the shelf and re-read those. Easily my favorites from the series.

[Samwise]

Yup, I think I started with a couple of his.  I think at this point I've got nearly every Hellblazer trade ever published.  Like I said, when I see one I don't have I pick it up.  And I've been doing that for a few years now, at places that have pretty good selections.     Once I get into a series I tend to not stop until I have everything I can possibly get.

[WindupAtheist]

I'd like to see Lucas try to do an "Indy" movie but with just LeBouf.  Because I think it would flop, and that would be interesting.  I mean people look at Lucas as this hack who just spews out whatever he likes and ignores all criticism, but then what else would he do?  Pretty much everything he's ever been involved with has been of the "nobody says they liked it but somebody bought a billion dollars worth of tickets" variety.  I mean the best-reviewed Star Wars was Revenge of the Sith, just to give you an idea of what I'm talking about.  That has to skew one's perspective.

[Morat20]

My problem with Hellblazer was where to start.  Haven't they been publishing him forever?

Wikipedia is your friend. Comic book geeks have thankfully rounded up all the Hellblazer stuff in order. :)

[Velorath]

I predict in two days time, someone will make this same topic, except with The Happening in the title in place of "the new Indiana Jones".

[ahoythematey]

I've been suspicious of that movie more and more ever since I saw a commercial where apparently it was important enough for the narration to mention this is the First R-Rated Movie By M Night Shyamalan.

[Velorath]

I've been suspicious of that movie more and more ever since I saw a commercial where apparently it was important enough for the narration to mention this is the First R-Rated Movie By M Night Shyamalan.

It's one of the shittiest movies I've had to sit through in quite a while.  By the end I was envious of all the people on screen that had killed themselves throughout the course of the movie.

[ahoythematey]

That's a shame.  I love Zooey .

[Velorath]

That's a shame.  I love Zooey .

I suggest you stay away from this movie then.  Her acting in this is so fucking horrid that it will make you hate her.  It felt like they flew Lucas in to be her personal director or something.

[UnSub]

That's a shame.  I love Zooey .

I suggest you stay away from this movie then.  Her acting in this is so fucking horrid that it will make you hate her.  It felt like they flew Lucas in to be her personal director or something.

Well done on bring this back O/T 

[ahoythematey]

I suggest you stay away from this movie then.  Her acting in this is so fucking horrid that it will make you hate her.  It felt like they flew Lucas in to be her personal director or something.

[Endie]

On the upside I came away from the Indy movie in no doubt that I had seen an Indiana Jones movie: every box was ticked, every trope referenced.  But it was as if there were two lists of Things That Must Occur.  One was the satisfy-the-Indy-fans set, with stuff like "Indy must retreive an item then have it taken away by baddies just as he seems to have escaped".  That left one with a feeling of utter predictability, as the outcome of every scene ceased to be in doubt immediately upon recognition of the template it derived from.  This was just not necessarily bad in itself, but the implementation was lazy.

The second list was the more pernicious influence: as with Lucas, the film was packed with elements clearly intended for the game, and which were not, in themself, useful or appropriate additions to the movie.

And the ending... ack.  Clearly done "because we can".

[Tannhauser]

I am the worst movie critic in the world.  As long as it has cool sfx and a chick with a nice rack I am usually pretty happy with a film.


But man did this movie suck.  Ever notice that you can usually tell within the first ten minutes if a movie is gonna be good or not?  The dark, clumsy hand of Lucas was everywhere, not even Spielberg could defeat the Sith of Shit.

Let's see...
The script was garbage, Indy was 'out of character' the whole movie.
Shia Lefag was horrid, it's like he's a kid pretending to be an actor pretending to act in a movie.
No eye candy...I spent most of the film crotch-spotting Cate Blanchett.
The climax was lame.
I could go on, but fuck it.  I really wish I'd seen The Hulk but I am behind on my summer movie viewing.

[ahoythematey]

As hard as it may be to believe, The Incredible Hulk is even worse.

SPOILARZ!!!11



The most life TIH had, apart from a neat Lou Ferrigno cameo, was right at the beginning of the movie between Bruce Banner and a sweet girl working at the same factory as him.  Truth be told, the only times the movie was interesting was when it was Bruce Banner and not the green munchkin-bullshit that is Hulk.  The CGI was sometimes good, sometimes "eh", but never Good Enough.  The movie as a whole was so fucking bland that not even the RDJ cameo at the end could evoke emotion in me.  I wouldn't even watch this bullshit on cable, and I've knowingly watched movies on the motherfucking Lifetime Channel.

[Riggswolfe]

I wouldn't even watch this bullshit on cable, and I've knowingly watched movies on the motherfucking Lifetime Channel.

That invalidates your opinion and requires immediate surrender of your man-card as well.

[ahoythematey]

In my defense, that movie was a B/C-grade sci-fi flick that seemed awfully out of place on the channel and had some recognizable actors.

Don't judge me too harshly, I'm retarded for asian women.  Can I please keep my man-card, I promise it won't happen again?  It was either that or Becker!

[Merusk]

Given that choice the correct option is "put on some porn and masturbate"

[lac]

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: The Abridged Script

[DraconianOne]

I wanted to know if Spielberg was fucking the blonde extra at the table behind them because for 80% of it she took up as much of the screen as Shia and Harrison.

You mean Spielberg's daughter?  I suppose he could be.

[Ironwood]

Ew.

[schild]

SHIA LABEOUF

Pick up MAP. Use MAP on HARRISON FORD. Walk To TOMB.

Heh.