Useless Conversation

[voodoolily]

Well, not what I expected, but one way to get through everyone quickly. They literally give each person a 2-minute interview, and will call back after they review the applications. With such a high volume of people to work through, I guess this makes sense. Kind of anticlimactic, but it means I either didn't get it or they really just need to process through a lot of people. I think my app. looks good, so hopefully I landed in the "read" stack.

[Grimwell]

Good luck! Remember to be patient, scanning through all those potential folks has to be a nightmare.

[SuperPopTart]

Well, not what I expected, but one way to get through everyone quickly. They literally give each person a 2-minute interview, and will call back after they review the applications. With such a high volume of people to work through, I guess this makes sense. Kind of anticlimactic, but it means I either didn't get it or they really just need to process through a lot of people. I think my app. looks good, so hopefully I landed in the "read" stack.

I heard you were trying out for the next FNS! - Good luck and I'll be looking for ya!

[rattran]

Hopefully you'll be tooling around Europe on your pizza tour when you get the call 

[MrHat]

http://www.wallstats.com/deathandtaxes/

[stray]

Geez.... Stupid mistake. Just left my phone in my pants, while washing. 

[Engels]

was it a google phone? cuz if it was, I wouldn't worry, that phone is  and will survive anything. sorta like Hellgate London.

<scampers off before schild smacks him>

[stray]

No, a Sprint/Samsung m610... Can't seem to find a reasonable upgrade/replacement deal. Phones are expensive without a contract agreement.


[edit] By the way, is there a way to "de-fog" some of the glass parts on here? Maybe I can bring it in and say it just died on me. Can't do it in the state it's in though, because it looks like it's been in water.

[MuffinMan]

Hmm could try maybe throwing it in a plastic bag with a couple silica gel packets to see if it pulls all the moisture out of the phone.

[stray]

Hah.. I just had a friend tell me to put it in a bowl of dry rice.

[edit] fuck it, this is pointless 

[MuffinMan]

Heh, only scare I've had with my phone was when it stopped working when I was talking on it in the shower  It eventually dried out and started working again.

Also dropped a pager in the toilet when I was 13. It's a wonder I can even put pants on myself in the morning.

[Lantyssa]

A lot (all?) phones have a moisture strip so they can tell if it was dunked.  Normal desiccant isn't going to reverse that.

[Oban]

Ok... why were you talking to someone in the shower using your cellphone?

[MuffinMan]

I was expecting a phone call and it came when I was in the shower. To be fair it wasn't ever in the water but the moisture in the air got to it.

[Signe]

My black pussy has taken to jumping up on my desk when I'm typing, turning her back to me and farting directly in my face.  She's done it at least twice every day for the last three days or so.  Sometimes I can dodge it.  Today I literally THREW myself across the room to avoid it - she's fast.  I think she thinks it's a game but I'm not having fun!   

[JWIV]

My black pussy has taken to jumping up on my desk when I'm typing, turning her back to me and farting directly in my face.  She's done it at least twice every day for the last three days or so.  Sometimes I can dodge it.  Today I literally THREW myself across the room to avoid it - she's fast.  I think she thinks it's a game but I'm not having fun!   

You could just shoot her with a can of compressed air when she jumps up on the desk. 

[Yegolev]

My black pussy has taken to jumping up on my desk when I'm typing, turning her back to me and farting directly in my face.

I think it's called a queef.

[rattran]

My black pussy has taken to jumping up on my desk when I'm typing, turning her back to me and farting directly in my face.  She's done it at least twice every day for the last three days or so.  Sometimes I can dodge it.  Today I literally THREW myself across the room to avoid it - she's fast.  I think she thinks it's a game but I'm not having fun!   

I had a cat that would do that when she was getting a bladder infection. Does she whine when she pees?


Or maybe your cat just loves tormenting you. 

[Sky]

I worked with a guy nicknamed Queef. I think I gave him the name. But now that's what everyone calls him, his wife hates me. Saw him at the state fair and yelled "HEY QUEEF", and he's all "HI!!". So now I call his wife Mrs Queef. She may kill me.

There was another guy someone else called Assmouth. I saw him in the mall once, in the earring/accessories store with his then-wife. Unbidden, "HEY, ASSMOUTH!" arose from my lips. Sure enough, "Hey man, how are you doing!?" The entire food court gawked. It was so  

I think my cat is going to start hitting the snooze button on my alarm clock. This morning, the alarm went off, and as I woke up to hit snooze, he reached out and tapped my arm, mimicking me hitting the snooze almost exactly.

[Signe]

No, she doesn't have a bladder infection.  She's nice and healthy.  I think the tormenting is closer to the truth.  Neither of my cats are what I expected cats to be like.  Her especially though.  When she's awake, she demands almost constant attention from me.  As long as I'm playing, holding, petting, she's fine.  It's when I turn my attention to something or someone else that she farts in my face.  Right now she's sitting right in front of the monitor looking annoyed.   

[Engels]

As long as I'm playing, holding, petting, she's fine.  It's when I turn my attention to something or someone else that she farts in my face.  Right now she's sitting right in front of the monitor looking annoyed.   

Sounds like the cat's making up for Righ's negligence.

[Signe]

Righ NEVER neglects me.  Especially since I very nearly almost lost my thumb in a tragic doctor generated surgery accident!

[Morat20]

No, she doesn't have a bladder infection.  She's nice and healthy.  I think the tormenting is closer to the truth.  Neither of my cats are what I expected cats to be like.  Her especially though.  When she's awake, she demands almost constant attention from me.  As long as I'm playing, holding, petting, she's fine.  It's when I turn my attention to something or someone else that she farts in my face.  Right now she's sitting right in front of the monitor looking annoyed.   

Get a watergun. You really want to break that habit as quickly as possible.

Do the same for the attention demands. If she gets insistant, squirt her until she goes away.

At least, that's the best "cat version" I can come up with of how I'd handle an insecure and attention-whoring dog. I don't really know cat dynamics though -- you could do positive/negative with a dog pretty easily, but dogs are pack animals. Once you establish "I'm the boss" and "If you do what I say, there's liver snacks in it for you" training a dog is pretty easy. (At least the instant commands.)

[Lantyssa]

A spray bottle does work.  She's a cat though.  They want attention on their schedule not yours, and don't you dare think of paying attention to something besides them even if they don't want attention, so help them Bast.

The pin was removed from my toe today.  I think I'm going to use it as my emergancy CD extractor.  It'll be nice to be able to take a shower again.

[Signe]

I have a spray bottle.  Lister runs like hell when we even touch it but Magenta... guess what?  She likes it!  You squirt her, she hops around a bit and asks for more.  She is the strangest cat in the world.

Congrats to Lantyssa's feets!

[Lantyssa]

I think I'd really like your... cat.  She has an attitude I can appreciate.

[Grimwell]

When the spray bottle fails a friendly toss across the room will help.

Despite popular beliefs, cat's can be trained. The first ones I ever had were trained to sit and beg by my wife so I know it's possible. They are dead now, don't ask for pics. :P

That noted, any animal that jumps up and farts in my face is going to be doing 60mph in some random direction fast. I like animals, but not enough to tolerate something like that.

DISCLAIMER: I have never injured domesticated animals in the process of training them. Don't sick PETA on me. Unless they are sending the nude models, then I eat cats live. Daily.

[rattran]

Cats are easy to train, just like with dogs, but faster.

Positive reinforcement seems to work much better with cats than dogs, and negative reinforcement just makes them evil. Treats when they do good, and leave the spray bottle alone. All my cats play fetch, and know the 'cat fishing' game. Only 3 of them will walk on the leash though, and only one is happy to go for walks. Too bad he keeps trying to beat up dogs we meet when walking.

[Signe]

I could never toss my cat across the room or even yell at her.  She's lovely and hasn't farted at me in hours.  For all her strangeness, I don't think anyone could find a more sweet and affectionate kitty.

[Engels]

The thing is with cats, they play you. Example; my gf gets anxious when our two cats are outside on the 3 story balcony with us. The male cat always tries his damndest to hang out on the edge enough to get her to start calling him to stop doing that. He ignores her until the very last minute as she's getting up off the deck chair and then does a 'what I do?' act.

When I'm out there on my own, the male cat sits on the balcony, a foot from the edge, minding his own business as I mind mine. Never been a problem. He only does it to get a rise out of my gf.

I've found that with these two cats, they're generally acting out just to get attention. In Signe's case, however, its gone to extremes. Signe, next time, just light the danged cat's fart. That'll learn 'em quick.

[Grimwell]

Signe, next time, just light the danged cat's fart. That'll learn 'em quick.

This I can support.

Our new kitten just tried to climb the screen. Three times.
1. Water bottle
2. Water bottle
3. Scruff and toss

She's no longer trying to climb the screen.

[Nerf]

The lizard that lived in my bathroom died today.  He was laying in the tub when I woke up for a shower, I moved him up onto the ledge around it and he was still alive, but not scurrying off.  When I got home from work, he was still there, but dead ):
I'm not sure if he ran out of bugs to eat and died, or if some terrible accident stole him away, but I'm deeply saddened at the loss of the bathroom lizard.  He was an awesome little dude and will be missed.

R.I.P lil' homie

[Bunk]

Cats are easy to train, just like with dogs, but faster.

Positive reinforcement seems to work much better with cats than dogs, and negative reinforcement just makes them evil. Treats when they do good, and leave the spray bottle alone. All my cats play fetch, and know the 'cat fishing' game. Only 3 of them will walk on the leash though, and only one is happy to go for walks. Too bad he keeps trying to beat up dogs we meet when walking.

Problem there, is my cat is too good for cat treats. Shows no interest in them at all. The only thing she likes as a treat is raw tuna. Which is fine when I bring sushi home, but I don't generaly keep some around.

She's the first cat I've had that really doen't like to cuddle or sit on you. However, she wants to be near me - like within six feet, all the time, even when I'm sleeping. She'll ignore me for 8 hours, but if I walk out of the apartment to throw out the garbage, she's sitting at the door whining for attention when I come back three minutes later.

[schild]

You know, I thought it was, but I wasn't sure until I saw the name of the picture. But that is, indeed, an app that simulates pouring out a 40 with your iphone. How funkytown.

[Yegolev]

My wife was complaining about the cat I adopted last night.  Every time she did, I just said "Do you want the cat to go away?"  She eventually stopped complaining.