Useless Conversation

[Oban]

That is a checked luggage scanner.

As long as the passenger paid the excess baggage fee, there should be no problem with sticking that cargo in the hold.

[Righ]

Also, you can probably fit a couple of contortionists with Armalites in each overhead compartment.

[Nonentity]

Also, you can probably fit a couple of contortionists with Armalites in each overhead compartment.

Contortionists are undeniably foreign, which I think would restrict them to an AK model, as Armalites are primarily American.

Just break that bad boy down and hide it in folds of your flesh.

[MrHat]

It's a monkey.  And a kitten.

Ignore this message.

[Merusk]

UHF is on Comedy Central right now.  I didn't realize how many 90s B-listers were in this movie.  i'm also suffering an 80s overload as I type this. Aiee.

[voodoolily]

Wheel of FISH!

[Chimpy]

Who wants to drink from the FIREHOSE?!?!

[Selby]

UHF is one of the few movies where the commentary on the movie from the DVD is more entertaining than the movie.  Al remembers a ton of stuff and quotes all the little details that most people wouldn't care about and manages to make it all hilarious at the same time.

[Miasma]

Speaking of 80's flashbacks does anyone remember the miniseries V?

Well, somebody stole an entire lake's worth of water, I think they've come.  The government will come up with some bullshit like "it must have fallen into a magma chamber" or something but don't you believe it, aliens.  You see somebody in a red jumpsuit wearing sunglasses just start shooting, no questions asked.

Pictures of the lake before and after the alien ship sucked up all the water.

[bhodi]

Yep, I just saw a discovery channel special that talked about a similar thing happening elsewhere... the government's quick about misinformation spreading these dats!

[Engels]

You think that's wierd, well, Atlantis will return to Earth, I tell you! Its imminent!

[Nonentity]

What is the proper size for a home grilled burger? I bought these packages of ground meat.

I do not know what to do with them. Do I make them into little equal-sized piles pre-grill?

[Lantyssa]

Make one patty per pound of meat.

[voodoolily]

I believe there is a burger-related discussion here.

Form firm patties from a 1/2 lb. each. Add only S&P and DO NOT OVERWORK THE MEAT (insert gratuitous joke here). Do not press on them while they cook, either.

[Chimpy]

For your standard 8-pack of $1.50 buns, you should make the patties about 1/4 pound (so if ya got a pound of meat that is 4 equal parts, yo).

If you bought the larger kaiser roll style, 1/3 or 1/2 pound is imperative.

Thusly, never buy the standard buns unless it is an emergency or you are feeding a large number of children.

[voodoolily]

But since the meat shrinks up and loses mass whilst cooking, I like to overcompensate. Also, I buy the jumbo buns so can fit avocado, bacon and cheddar cheese among the standard burger accompaniment (mayo and bbq sauce, pickles, onion, lettuce and tomato).

[Nonentity]

Yeah, I bought the ghetto-ass small ones. I am feeding people on a budget here.

I bought these, um, roll things of meat. I don't know how to describe it. They're in the ground beef section, and they come in tubes, aaand they are in various sizes. I DONT HAVE A SCALE FUCK HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WEIGH MEAT

I guess I need to get a scale.

I have a couple meat rubs I may use pre-cook (ha ha, MEAT RUB) from Stubb's BBQ - the BBQ rub, and the Chile-Lime rub,

[Oban]

Wow...

[Sauced]

That's startlingly similar to a "Meatball Heel", which is basically the same thing with, uh, meatballs instead of bolognese.  Great use of leaftovers though.

[Chimpy]

Yeah, I bought the ghetto-ass small ones. I am feeding people on a budget here.

I bought these, um, roll things of meat. I don't know how to describe it. They're in the ground beef section, and they come in tubes, aaand they are in various sizes. I DONT HAVE A SCALE FUCK HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WEIGH MEAT

I guess I need to get a scale.

I have a couple meat rubs I may use pre-cook (ha ha, MEAT RUB) from Stubb's BBQ - the BBQ rub, and the Chile-Lime rub,

Those tubes are actually the way most ground beef gets to places that has not already been put into patties.

Ok, the tube is about 3-4 inches in diameter, correct?

Cut slices about 3/4"-1" thick off of it, and there is the size burger you want. You want the patty to have about 1/2"-3/4" overhang if you place a bun on it, that will shrink off when you cook it. Thinner/wider patties cook faster than thick/smaller around patties so if you are cooking lots of them keep that in mind.

[Murgos]

I make the patties by first rolling the hamburger into a ball about the size of a baseball (will be 1/3rd to 1/2lb).  Flatten it out a bit and add salt and pepper.  Put it on an already hot grill until blood pools up on the top, DO NOT PRESS DOWN ON THE PATTIE!  Flip it.  Cook 2.5-3 minutes more, top with bleu cheese crumbles.  Serve.

Simple.

[Merusk]

I'm horrible and use the frozen patties you can buy in bulk.at least I only use the ground sirloin ones, though.   Toss on some Lemon Pepper & Onion Powder then cook 'em.  If you like BBQ sauce on the burgers like my wife and I do, you pour a bit on after the first flip. (She prefers A1 actually.. )  I've taken to adding a little ginger to them as well, pretty good. 

[Furiously]

I just wanted to say, "You're all pretty on the inside."

[Chimpy]

I'm horrible and use the frozen patties you can buy in bulk.at least I only use the ground sirloin ones, though.   Toss on some Lemon Pepper & Onion Powder then cook 'em.  If you like BBQ sauce on the burgers like my wife and I do, you pour a bit on after the first flip. (She prefers A1 actually.. )  I've taken to adding a little ginger to them as well, pretty good. 

Don't feel bad, the majority of restaurants use those too.


On a differnt note, I tried Mead tonight at the BBQ I was at.

Man that shit was weird, thank jeebus that the monks figured out how to brew beer, as I don't think I could handle much of that weird stuff.

[Ironwood]

I just wanted to say, "You're all pretty on the inside."

I had an endoscopy once that proved that wrong.

[Signe]

I'm horrible and use the frozen patties you can buy in bulk.at least I only use the ground sirloin ones, though.   Toss on some Lemon Pepper & Onion Powder then cook 'em.  If you like BBQ sauce on the burgers like my wife and I do, you pour a bit on after the first flip. (She prefers A1 actually.. )  I've taken to adding a little ginger to them as well, pretty good. 

Don't feel bad, the majority of restaurants use those too.


On a differnt note, I tried Mead tonight at the BBQ I was at.

Man that shit was weird, thank jeebus that the monks figured out how to brew beer, as I don't think I could handle much of that weird stuff.

Mead?  What was it?  One of those renaissance bbqs?  Were you larping? 

[Lantyssa]

Mead can taste very different depending who makes it.  I recommend Redstone's Vanilla and Cinnamon (although I'm not a big fan of their other flavors).

[Johny Cee]

I'm horrible and use the frozen patties you can buy in bulk.at least I only use the ground sirloin ones, though.   Toss on some Lemon Pepper & Onion Powder then cook 'em.  If you like BBQ sauce on the burgers like my wife and I do, you pour a bit on after the first flip. (She prefers A1 actually.. )  I've taken to adding a little ginger to them as well, pretty good. 

Ginger?  Ginger!

[Chimpy]

Mead?  What was it?  One of those renaissance bbqs?  Were you larping? 

Nah, no larping. Just a regular old fashioned dead animal slow cooked while a few people hang out and drink kind of thing.

The guy who was having the barbeque and one of his friends ended up at the liquor store I had recommended for their great selection of stuff and they decided they wanted to try some mead.

It was definitely some weird honey tasting stuff. Not something I would drink a lot of I don't think.

[Selby]

Mead sounds better than beer to me.  I cannot stand the taste of almost every beer, so something with honey makes me want to investigate...

[Furiously]

I just wanted to say, "You're all pretty on the inside."

I had an endoscopy once that proved that wrong.

Too bad I'm a outside pretty type of guy.

[Sky]

You should divot your burgers, too. Keeps them from turning into UFO saucers with the big hump in the middle.

[Nonentity]

I would like to report that the barbecue was a success. I used about a 1/3-ish pound of beef per burger, along with lots of Stubb's rub, and they were darn tasty.

I will have lots of leftover burgers.

[HaemishM]

I tend to mix my ground beef with some worchestershire sauce, a touch of horseradish, some seasoned meat tenderizer, pepper and whatever else is in the house I might like. I've put red pepper, lemon pepper, and onion flakes in my burgers at times and they come out tasting good. Soy sauce or steak sauce will work if you don't have any worchestershire.

Roll them into about a baseball sized ball, smoosh the ball flat in some aluminum foil, toss on the grill or in a frying pan and go to town.

[Sky]

I go both ways with burgers. Sometimes just salt/pepper, sometimes I adulterate the shit out of them. Usual suspects are pepper/onion/garlic (my holy trinity of toppings) sauteed up.

What's with red peppers the last year or so? Someone is going nuts growing them, and that's a GOOD thing. I love the flavor of the red bells. Now they're priced inline with with ye olde green bells, they used to be $1-2/lb more expensive. Woot and whatnot.