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Topic: movies that suck (Read 19287 times)
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Shockeye
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 6668
Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...
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I hate reading when I go to the movies.
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Strazos
Greetings from the Slave Coast
Posts: 15542
The World's Worst Game: Curry or Covid
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You hate reading when you read a book too, so I'm not sure you're saying a whole lot.
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Fear the Backstab! "Plato said the virtuous man is at all times ready for a grammar snake attack." - we are lesion "Hell is other people." -Sartre
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Righ
Terracotta Army
Posts: 6542
Teaching the world Google-fu one broken dream at a time.
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I hate Reading too. The traffic is hell, and the festival was an overpriced rained out mud bath.
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The camera adds a thousand barrels. - Steven Colbert
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Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240
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Although not the same bridge it is in the same area (like within a few feet.) Seriously, it would have been cool to have the battle on the bridge. That's the bridge leading towards the Uni. I went to that Uni. I had sex on that bridge. I also puked my guts over it into the murky river so many times you wouldn't believe it. Ahhh, when I was young.
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"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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Dren
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2419
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Although not the same bridge it is in the same area (like within a few feet.) Seriously, it would have been cool to have the battle on the bridge.
That's the bridge leading towards the Uni. I went to that Uni. I had sex on that bridge. I also puked my guts over it into the murky river so many times you wouldn't believe it. Ahhh, when I was young. You've the got the makings of a good screenplay already. Go forth young man.
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Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 24440
2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST
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I turn my brain off when watching movies. I consider it a plus. Consequently, while I know Van Helsing was a bad movie by any sort of measurement, I enjoyed it. I especially enjoyed the high-speed carriage scene, and even moreso the part where it flies off a cliff and explodes. Hi-larious. The acting was bad but I found the movie to be funny. I liked it more than League of ... because I never once got the impression that anyone working on Van Helsing took the movie seriously.
I think I, Robot was useless, unless you like Will Smith's naked torso.
Gladiator was pretty and exciting. I liked it. I don't even like whatshisname, the main guy. I'm not looking it up.
Hero could have been better. It was pretty, at least. House of Flying Daggers is aging on the TiVo, along with Island of Doctor Moreau.
Troy was no good. Kinda made me want to play God of War, though.
I saw the sex scene, or maybe just some of it, in Monster's Ball and now I don't find Halle sexy anymore. Hmmm... did I in the first place?
Titanic was no good.
Starsky & Hutch, I found OK but I am Stillered-out right now.
I really, really enjoyed the Scooby-Doo movie.
You know what's a really good movie? It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. And Bullit.
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Why am I homeless? Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question. They called it The Prayer, its answer was law Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
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Llava
Contributor
Posts: 4602
Rrava roves you rong time
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I especially enjoyed the high-speed carriage scene, and even moreso the part where it flies off a cliff and explodes.
I liked how it catches on fire for no discernable reason. I think it was supposed to be sparks from the werewolf's claws scraping the metal. Yeah, that'll set a whole carriage ablaze.
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That the saints may enjoy their beatitude and the grace of God more abundantly they are permitted to see the punishment of the damned in hell. -Saint Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica
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Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240
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I think I, Robot was useless, unless you like Will Smith's naked torso.
Which made it useful for my wife and, by a simple cause and effect, me.
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"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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Kenrick
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1401
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I'll go ahead and add Family Stone to the list since I saw it (I'm married) this past weekend.
However, it did confirm two things:
1) Sarah Jessica Parker Bueller Broderick is just as ugly as she was yesterday.
2) Rachel McAdams is especially hot as a brunette.
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Bunk
Contributor
Posts: 5828
Operating Thetan One
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Saw Underworld Evolution. Enjoyed it on a Blamo! Splat! Glorch! OOH SIDE BOOBIES!! Shred! Splug! level.
I thought the first one had more style, but this was a perfectly fun action movie.
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"Welcome to the internet, pussy." - VDL "I have retard strength." - Schild
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Morfiend
Terracotta Army
Posts: 6009
wants a greif tittle
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Kingdom of Heaven. Worst. Fucking. Movie. EVAR!
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Murgos
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7474
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Kingdom of Heaven. Worst. Fucking. Movie. EVAR!
Ridley Scott hasn't made a good movie since the late 80's. It's like the act of making Thelma and Louise sucked all the talent out of him. I blame Brad Pitt.
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"You have all recieved youre last warning. I am in the process of currently tracking all of youre ips and pinging your home adressess. you should not have commencemed a war with me" - Aaron Rayburn
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60345
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Kingdom of Heaven. Worst. Fucking. Movie. EVAR!
Ridley Scott hasn't made a good movie since the late 80's. It's like the act of making Thelma and Louise sucked all the talent out of him. I blame Brad Pitt. I liked Matchstick Men, Gladiator, and to a degree, even Hannibal. Here certainly doesn't make the most cerebral flicks though.
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Murgos
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7474
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I haven't seen Matchstick Men but for me Gladiator and Hannibal were one shot movies. They were ok but they weren't watchable over and over again.
Alien? Blade Runner? Black Rain, to me, is one of the best Cop Noir movies ever made. Whatever it was he had in the 80's he doesn't have it now, probably hunger.
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"You have all recieved youre last warning. I am in the process of currently tracking all of youre ips and pinging your home adressess. you should not have commencemed a war with me" - Aaron Rayburn
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Yegolev
Moderator
Posts: 24440
2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST
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Matchstick Men was strangely watchable. It is normally the sort of movie that annoys me.
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Why am I homeless? Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question. They called it The Prayer, its answer was law Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
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Madman
Terracotta Army
Posts: 143
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Why has nobody mentioned 'Deep Blue Sea' as a movie that sucked.
Well, I personally found it awesome, but then again I truly love movies that suck as evidenced by the fact that I have watched ALL of Shark Attack 3: Megalodon!
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Wolf
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1248
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Because when you say "Deep Blue Sea" it reminds me of "Into the Blue", Which in turn reminds me of Jessica Alba. Swiming. Like a fucking female elf. Damn. Oh, Jessica, please make me your slave...
Bunk - Isn't your avatar from a movie that sucked. Bad. Damn it sucked.
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As a matter of fact I swallowed one of these about two hours ago and the explanation is that it is, in fact, my hand.
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Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240
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I liked Deep Blue Sea.
It was a film about Intelligent Killer Sharks. Anyone expecting high drama, acting, or plot deserved to be dissappointed.
There were also gratuitous panty shots.
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"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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Wolf
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1248
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...something... There were also gratuitous panty shots.
There. I'm thinking about Into the Blue again.
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As a matter of fact I swallowed one of these about two hours ago and the explanation is that it is, in fact, my hand.
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Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240
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Maybe I ought to watch that one as well. I tend to think of Betty Blue instead.
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"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42636
the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring
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Deep Blue Sea was a fun popcorn flick.
I couldn't make it through Matchstick Men. Themla and Louise, now THERE was a movie that was a crime against nature. Ridley Scott's made some decent post-80's flicks. Blackhawk Down, Gladiator and Kingdom of Heaven were all decent if not spectacular flicks. I think Gladiator was certainly overrated, but Crowe really should have won an Oscar for his performance in L.A. Confidential, before he got too big to do supporting stuff.
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Bunk
Contributor
Posts: 5828
Operating Thetan One
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Bunk - Isn't your avatar from a movie that sucked. Bad. Damn it sucked.
Yes, yes it is. And yes, i do own the movie and have in fact watched it all the way through more than once. The avatar is actually a result of me admitting to having read the book that movie is based on, and actually quite enjoying it.
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"Welcome to the internet, pussy." - VDL "I have retard strength." - Schild
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Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240
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Oh behave.
The Book was Atrocious.
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"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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Shockeye
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 6668
Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...
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Napoleon Dynamite was a crime against the world. It will violate you in ways you didn't know you could be violated.
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Murgos
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7474
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Napoleon Dynamite was a crime against the world. It will violate you in ways you didn't know you could be violated.
Movie cut a little close to home, huh?
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"You have all recieved youre last warning. I am in the process of currently tracking all of youre ips and pinging your home adressess. you should not have commencemed a war with me" - Aaron Rayburn
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Rasix
Moderator
Posts: 15024
I am the harbinger of your doom!
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Napoleon Dynamite was a crime against the world. It will violate you in ways you didn't know you could be violated.
Movie cut a little close to home, huh? My mom didn't like the movie, she found it too uncomfortable. She attributes this to being somewhat of a giant nerd in high school.
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-Rasix
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60345
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I didn't like Napolean Dynamite. And it hit nowhere close to home with me. Koboshi described it best, "It's like being beat up by nerds."
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Morfiend
Terracotta Army
Posts: 6009
wants a greif tittle
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Kingdom of Heaven were all decent if not spectacular flicks. How can you not dispise this movie? About 45 minutes of screan time where close ups of Orlando's face, as he tried to do looks other than constipated? Not the mention the last seen in the movie... *SPOILER* of his lovingly stroking a flower as the wind blew through his hair. This movie sucked in so many ways I cant even describe. God did it suck.
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Righ
Terracotta Army
Posts: 6542
Teaching the world Google-fu one broken dream at a time.
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The Book was Atrocious.
Seconded, but I would have said it was bunk.
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The camera adds a thousand barrels. - Steven Colbert
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Wolf
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1248
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The Book was Atrocious.
Seconded, but I would have said it was bunk. What? I love that book. It's like the first post appocalyptic sci-fi I ever read. Heck, it's the first sci-fi I ever read. I was six. And I'm Re-reading it right now (for the third or fourth time), and I still love it. How can anyone watch the movie twice is beyond me :)
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As a matter of fact I swallowed one of these about two hours ago and the explanation is that it is, in fact, my hand.
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Bunk
Contributor
Posts: 5828
Operating Thetan One
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I also have the accomplishment of successfully reading all ten volumes of Mission Earth.
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"Welcome to the internet, pussy." - VDL "I have retard strength." - Schild
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Shockeye
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 6668
Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...
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I also have the accomplishment of successfully reading all ten volumes of Mission Earth.
That's not an accomplishment, that was a requirement of joining Scientology.
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60345
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I also have the accomplishment of successfully reading all ten volumes of Mission Earth.
That's not an accomplishment, that was a requirement of joining Scientology. No no, buying the leather bound set with each page printed on baby seal skin and written in the blood of christian infants is the requirement for joining. Reading it for pleasure is a feat few have undertaken. Less than those who have attempted to climb Mt. Everest for sure.
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Hanzii
Terracotta Army
Posts: 729
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Maybe I ought to watch that one as well. I tend to think of Betty Blue instead.
´ Now, there's a movie that sucked but you had to pretend to like if you wanted to get laid in the 80s. (at least in my part of the world where we don't run screaming at the sight of subtitles)
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------- I would like to discuss this more with you, but I'm not allowed to post in Politics anymore.
Bruce
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WayAbvPar
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Maybe I ought to watch that one as well. I tend to think of Betty Blue instead.
´ Now, there's a movie that sucked but you had to pretend to like if you wanted to get laid in the 80s. (at least in my part of the world where we don't run screaming at the sight of subtitles) That was Dirty Dancing for me. Godfuckingdamn I hated that movie. I still want Patrick Swayze to die a thousand horrifying deaths for inflicting it on an unsuspecting public.
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When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM
Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood
Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
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