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Topic: movies that suck (Read 19023 times)
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Evil Elvis
Terracotta Army
Posts: 963
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Flying Daggers abused the hell out of CGI and wirework. All the slow motion, physics defying knife scenes had me gnashing my teeth. The story wasn't that great either.
Underworld was just about putting pretty people in tight leather, and having them pose in slow mo. At least the action scenes were competently done.
The Bloodrayne trailers foretell something evil. The line Michael Madsen has in it is one of the most poorly delivered sentences I've ever heard, and that's what they picked to try to sell the movie. Everyone put $5 dollars in an envelope and send it to Ben Kingsly. He's obviously is in dire straights, financially.
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Stormwaltz
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2918
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"No matter who wins... we lose."
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Nothing in this post represents the views of my current or previous employers.
"Isn't that just like an elf? Brings a spell to a gun fight."
"Sci-Fi writers don't invent the future, they market it."
- Henry Cobb
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Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240
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I didn't think AvP was that bad.
And my wife loved it because it had penguins in it.
Really.
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"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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tazelbain
Terracotta Army
Posts: 6603
tazelbain
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I like how it answered a few questions I had about the original Aliens films.
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"Me am play gods"
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Shockeye
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 6668
Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...
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I like how it answered a few questions I had about the original Aliens films.
Such as, "How do you make a film worse than Aliens 3 and 4?" |
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Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240
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Giggle.
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"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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Nebu
Terracotta Army
Posts: 17613
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I've been trying to think of a movie/series in the past 5 years that struck me in any sort of way. Here are a few:
Lost in Translation
The Piano
Band of Brothers
Something the Lord Made (acting wasn't great, but I enjoyed the story).
Big Fish
I think it's far harder to come up with movies that don't suck than ones that do.
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"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."
- Mark Twain
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tazelbain
Terracotta Army
Posts: 6603
tazelbain
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No. Aliens > Predator > Alien >> AvP > Aliens 4 >>> Predator 2 > Aliens 3.
The last 2, I consider unwatchable.
"How did the Corporation know about the Aliens before?"
"Why is the Bishop Model important to the Corporation?"
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"Me am play gods"
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Evil Elvis
Terracotta Army
Posts: 963
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At least Dutton made Alien 3 bearable.
I thought it was leaps and bounds above 4.
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Signe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 18942
Muse.
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I just watched Creep. I was VERY disappointed. :-(
I never even heard of a Josie and the Pussycat movie. Sometimes I get sad reading this board.
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My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
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Nebu
Terracotta Army
Posts: 17613
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I never even heard of a Josie and the Pussycat movie. Sometimes I get sad reading this board.
The Horror!  |
"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."
- Mark Twain
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Lt.Dan
Terracotta Army
Posts: 758
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Blind Date with Bruce Willis. Worst movie ever.
No, that would be Color of Night...you know, the one where his penis floats up into view in the swimming pool scene. People were leaving the theatre at about the 30 min mark. Only movie I've seen recently was Munich, which was a totally over-rated piece of junk. If you understand even the most basic things about the Middle East (1. cycle of violence, 2. contesting same piece of holy land) it's no new news. Compound that with a predictable, linear plot and some spotty acting (Eric Bana was possibly worse than his performance in Troy) and you have a born loser. |
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Murgos
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7474
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Compound that with a predictable, linear plot...
You do realize that it is a true story about events that really happened right? |
"You have all recieved youre last warning. I am in the process of currently tracking all of youre ips and pinging your home adressess. you should not have commencemed a war with me" - Aaron Rayburn
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Shockeye
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 6668
Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...
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Compound that with a predictable, linear plot...
You do realize that it is a true story about events that really happened right? You do realize that Spielberg made a bunch of stuff up as well, right? |
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WayAbvPar
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Compound that with a predictable, linear plot...
You do realize that it is a true story about events that really happened right? You do realize that Spielberg made a bunch of stuff up as well, right? Yeah, it has a lot of 'could have happened' and not nearly enough 'actually did happen' to it. I was frustrated watching it, having read a couple of books about the Munich incident and its aftermath. The assassin chick was HAWT though. |
When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM
Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood
Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
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Hoax
Terracotta Army
Posts: 8110
l33t kiddie
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Josie and the Pussycats was le brilliant! I can't imagine anyone not finding that movie absolutely hilarious at the time it came out (before we all accepted that MTV can just create a star whenever they feel like it, hell Fox can make musicians all of a sudden) it also helped that Rachel Leigh Cook is fucking hawt. In that "look how goofy I am" kind of way. Hell I actually sat through She's all that on TV once because of her hawtness.
Hrm probably I should delete that last part.
Pearl Harbor (the newer one) was the most terrible piece of fucking trash, it is one of the 3-4 movies that contributed to the fact I will go to 3 movies MAX each year in theaters these days.
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A nation consists of its laws. A nation does not consist of its situation at a given time. If an individual's morals are situational, then that individual is without morals. If a nation's laws are situational, that nation has no laws, and soon isn't a nation.
-William Gibson
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Shockeye
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 6668
Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...
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I enjoyed the Spice Girls movie.
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WayAbvPar
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The only way I could enjoy the Spice Girls movie would be 10 minutes at a time.
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When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM
Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood
Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
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Murgos
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7474
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Compound that with a predictable, linear plot...
You do realize that it is a true story about events that really happened right? You do realize that Spielberg made a bunch of stuff up as well, right? Bitching about the plot being predictable in a story that actually happened seems kind of like, well, stupid. I mean, hell, I knew how Return of The King was going to end 15 years before principle photography wrapped up on The Fellowship of the Ring. Edit: Let me restate this. I know the entire plot to Munich even though I haven't seen the movie and no one has ever told me what it was about. I, in fact, knew the vast majority of the plot by the time I was 15. |
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« Last Edit: January 12, 2006, 11:46:10 AM by Murgos »
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"You have all recieved youre last warning. I am in the process of currently tracking all of youre ips and pinging your home adressess. you should not have commencemed a war with me" - Aaron Rayburn
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Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240
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In Titanic, the boat sank.
Wtf.
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"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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DevilsAdvocate
Terracotta Army
Posts: 96
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In Titanic, the boat sank.
Wtf.
OMG, King Kong and the building and the planes and stuff. /sadf |
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DevilsAdvocate
Terracotta Army
Posts: 96
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The Bloodrayne trailers foretell something evil. The line Michael Madsen has in it is one of the most poorly delivered sentences I've ever heard, and that's what they picked to try to sell the movie. Everyone put $5 dollars in an envelope and send it to Ben Kingsly. He's obviously is in dire straights, financially.
Ah, but who could ever forget Halle Berry in X-Men. "Do you know what happens to a Toad when it's hit by lightning? <<pregnant, overdramatic pause>> The same thing that happens to anything else hit by lightning." That is my worst line in a movie ever quote. |
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Margalis
Terracotta Army
Posts: 12335
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Halle Berry is one of the finest actresses of her generation.
I typed that with a straight face. No, really.
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vampirehipi23: I would enjoy a book written by a monkey and turned into a movie rather than this.
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Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240
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I've yet to see her act.
I've seen all the films she was in, btw.
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"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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|3o3dha
Terracotta Army
Posts: 33
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I've yet to see her act.
I've seen all the films she was in, btw.
Monster's Ball....? |
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Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240
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Yes, I've seen it. I thought she (and pretty much everyone) was dreadful and it merited nothing but contempt.
Sorry.
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"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60345
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Monster's Ball....? Now, that, was an overrated piece of dogshit. |
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ahoythematey
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1729
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Keanu Reeves is a better actor than Halle Berry.
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schild
Administrator
Posts: 60345
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Keanu Reeves is a better actor than Halle Berry. Kevin Bacon is a better actor than Halle Berry. Judge Reinhold is a better actor than Halle Berry. My ass is a better actor than Halle Berry. |
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|3o3dha
Terracotta Army
Posts: 33
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Monster's Ball....? Now, that, was an overrated piece of dogshit. Overrated maybe, but not a piece of dogshit, imho. Best movie I saw lately was "Good night, and Good luck.", by George Clooney. The guy(David Strathairn) playing Ed Murrow is very good. |
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Llava
Contributor
Posts: 4602
Rrava roves you rong time
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Monster's Ball....? Now, that, was an overrated piece of dogshit. Overrated maybe, but not a piece of dogshit, imho. I would say it was completely forgettable, except that I'll never forget the b00bs. |
That the saints may enjoy their beatitude and the grace of God more abundantly they are permitted to see the punishment of the damned in hell. -Saint Thomas Aquinas, Summa Theologica
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HaemishM
Staff Emeritus
Posts: 42630
the Confederate flag underneath the stone in my class ring
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"The Island" - saw this one on DVD. Interesting characters, neat story, but I got a feeling about halfway through that it was written in chunks by different people. Stuff they introduce at the beginning that you would think were setup for later plot points are ignored later on. When you get to the end, it still leaves you with a question that the movie never answered although those dropped points could have - what caused the event that caused all this to happen again? Just saw this recently. The first half of the movie was awesome. Then the clones escape and it was like Attack of the Bruckheimer/Bay cliches, only with asstons of badly disguised corporate sponsorships. The last half of the movie was just terrible, especially the "I, Robot" ending and the big climactic fight scene between McGregor and Bean. WHY WOULD THE DOCTOR ATTACK THE CLONE PERSONALLY? He had a bazillion security guys who apparently get to watch him play Boromir. What the fuck? Scarlett Johannsen was teh hawtness in this, though. As for bad movies, if you haven't subjected yourself to "House of the Dead" you have no idea. NO IDEA, I TELL YOU! This is a movie that makes venereal disease attractive. Alone in the Dark and House of Wax aren't too far behind. Van Helsing was just shit. Total shit. I couldn't even finish it. Same with Starsky and Hutch. Underworld was underwhelming to say the least. I have no desire to see the sequel. EDIT: Monster's Ball was decent. Maybe you had to be Southern to not hate it. Hero was a boring, overrated, overfilmed piece of junk. It was a 10 minute story stretched to the longest hour and a half I've ever experienced. It was beautiful looking, but a totally crappy, forgettable movie. I couldn't even tell you the story now, that's how bad it was. All the color changes and such would have been brilliant, if the story they served had actually had any meat to it whatsoever. |
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Furiously
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7199
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Hero was a beautiful demo of having wonderfully saturated colors in a movie.
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Nebu
Terracotta Army
Posts: 17613
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How about Sexy Beast? I forgot to add that to the list. For some reason, I really liked that movie. Ben Kingsley as a bad guy was great.
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"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."
- Mark Twain
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jpark
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1538
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I condemn you all... you're the same guys who didn't like Gladiator.
Bah.
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"I think my brain just shoved its head up its own ass in retaliation.
" HaemishM.
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