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[HaemishM]

The Good: 3rd highest point total this week.
The Bad :  Played against the highest scorer this week (damn you haemish)
The Ugly:  Nothing really, played my best players this week.

At least I'm beating Haem in the Morlock league... unless McNabb has a monster game   

It's entirely possible. How weird is it that we play each other first week in both leagues, and have an almost complete reversal of scores?

Jake Plummer sucks with an unbelievably loud sucking sound. How the fuck do you lose to MIAMI? Of course, Mike Martz lost to San Fran, so I can only assume it was one of his "I have a running game?" weeks.

I <3 Buffalo's D. David Carr does not. I knew Marcus Pollard would be a good pickup, apparently Joey Harrington loves to throw to him.

[Shockeye]

Fuck Favre. I'm going with Big Ben.

[WayAbvPar]

Fuck Favre. I'm going with Big Ben.

Yeah, now that his best WR is out for the year, things will be even worse for ol' number 4.

[HaemishM]

Green Bay looked fucking awful. I Tivo'd that game, and it was just excruciatingly painful watching the joke the Pack has become. While I don't want to downplay Detroit, because I think they have turned into a decent team, the Pack couldn't even do the things that they are good at. You know, like run the fucking ball. Favre looked terrible, his timing was completely off. He had two or three long passes with an open (or almost open) receiver that he just flat out overthrew. I couldn't point to any one thing and say "That's what the problem is." It was just bad.

Of course, the defense was even worse. Why is Ahmad Carroll starting on this time? I mean, are all the other DB's just that shitty? This guy had THREE FUCKING HANDS TO THE FACE PENALTIES. You'd think he'd learn not to do that, especially since every Lions' receiver is about 2 inches taller than him (meaning he has to make more effort to reach up to pop them in the chops). He did this all last year, and he hasn't improved at all.

It's going to be a long season for me.

[WayAbvPar]

Alcohol. Plenty of alcohol.


The Seaturds got off to a fabulous start- they fumbled the opening fucking kickoff. That is what you get when your return guy couldn't even keep a job with the Cardinals-when they were even shittier than they are now.

[Sauced]

I can't believe the Bears had the nerve to go into D.C. with a cocky attitude.  Unbelievable!  The drops, false starts, other assorted fuck-ups by normally reliable guys just ruined what should have been, honestly, an easy easy win.  Apparently Orton was talking a lot of shit during the game.  I'm fairly certain he's going to be really good - it wasn't his fault they lost, surprisingly enough - but that's Cade McNown type shit I didn't expect.  Hopefully he can back some of it up at home against Detroit this week.

Off to a decent start, fantasy wise, considering I forget to set my roster before going on vacation last week.

[Paelos]

Peyton! Why hast thou foresaken me?!

EDIT: Ask, and you shall receive, my brothers!

2 TDs in 7 throws.

Not good enough, bitch! And my RBs were horrible.   

I hate my defense. And Baltimore.

[Zetleft]

Glad to see that McNabb absolutely sucked this week haemish.  At least we split the series on our improbable opening week games :P

Packers sucking sure does hurt the value of Green, that's gonna hurt me alot unless Droughns improves in Cleveland.  Down 1 quarter back already so hope Hasslebeck doesn't let me down.  Yeah Pollard came up big for you as did Buffalo, and your Cardinal reciever beat the hell outta mine... won't get much of a break next week facing Murg.  Could turn up a quick 0-2. 

Oh and btw WayAbvPar, Steven Jackson 8.80 points, Julius Jones 18.60  :D

[Murgos]

I have to hope and pray to avoid injuries, I'm not very deep anywhere.

[shiznitz]

Not only did I stay up way too late to watch my Eagles lose, I lost in another league by 0.73 points. I just needed one more catch from Alge damnit!

[WayAbvPar]

Oh and btw WayAbvPar, Steven Jackson 8.80 points, Julius Jones 18.60

'tis only week 1. I expect better things, although I didn't take the Martz factor seriously enough.

[Paelos]

I'm just waiting until Peyton plays a soft D. Then, it's all over for whoever I'm matched up against.

[HaemishM]

Glad to see that McNabb absolutely sucked this week haemish.  At least we split the series on our improbable opening week games :P

Packers sucking sure does hurt the value of Green, that's gonna hurt me alot unless Droughns improves in Cleveland.  Down 1 quarter back already so hope Hasslebeck doesn't let me down.  Yeah Pollard came up big for you as did Buffalo, and your Cardinal reciever beat the hell outta mine... won't get much of a break next week facing Murg.  Could turn up a quick 0-2. 

I only caught bits and pieces of the game last night, but it looked like McNabb was in the dirt a lot, and Owens was taking a powder on about half of his passes, including that last one. D'Angelo Hall and Rod Coleman 4TW! Unless you have McNabb on your team, like I did in the Morlocks. Fuck you, Terrell, bring it all or shut the fuck up. Delhomme was actually a better QB. Gus FUCKING Frerotte was hotter.

Green's value is going to go way down if they continue to play like that. I forsee lots of early season fumbles, and a significant injury by week 10. He's going to get pounded, because they won't have the wideouts to take Brett's passes now that Javon is down. Sherman will ride him like a bucking bronco, straight into the doldrums. Expect a lot of 3 and outs this season. I should just start drinking the minute the Packers' games come on.

[murdoc]

I'm in for a long season in this league due to my inability to formulate a drafting plan.

But the Bucs beat the Vikings, and I fucking hate the motherjesusfucking Vikings. The Bucs can go 0-15 for the rest of the season and I'll still consider it a success since they beat the fucking Vikings.

[HaemishM]

From what I could tell, the Vikes are in for a long season. And all is right with the world. I begin to believe more and more that maybe, just maybe, the Lions could win that division at 9-7.

[Shockeye]

From what I could tell, the Vikes are in for a long season. And all is right with the world. I begin to believe more and more that maybe, just maybe, the Lions could win that division at 9-7.

The Vikings will rebound.

They have to.

They will.

[Paelos]

There's a solid chance I may set the record for least points ever in a fantasy week.

[Rasix]

I am posting this from London say just one thing...

GODDAMN YOU, DANTE CULPEPPER.

Edit: Europe is nice. It takes the sting off FF starting off so bad and missing the first two weeks in the season.

[murdoc]

The Vikings will rebound.

They have to.

They will.

HA HA HA

[Merusk]

Carson Palmer gave me a 29.78 point game off the Vikings.  Ow.

Next week:  Hameish shows me why Scotts don't wear anything under their kilts.  I'm going to get stomped so hard I can already feel it. 

[HaemishM]

Silly me thinking Kurt Warner will actually be able to throw touchdowns to his goddamn wideouts against the fucking Rams. THE FUCKING RAMS, who couldn't even stop San Francisco from winning. WHAT... THE... FUCK? Also, Stephen Davis has a big game against the Patriots? Seriously, WHAT? How did David Carr even have a better game than fucking Warner?

Oh right, WARNER SUCKS.

And the fucking Lions just disappointed the shit out of me. Not as badly as watching my Packers lose to Trent Goddamn Dilfer. I pity the foo' that has any Packers' players, or God forbid, their defense.

[Paelos]

Manning put 2 points on the board, fucking TWO.

Don't talk to me about other QBs sucking.

EDIT: Down by 60 points going into monday night with only my Defense, 2 WRs, and a TE.

AND I PULLED IT OUT! BEST MONDAY NIGHT GAMES EVER! SANTANA MOSS WENT INSANE!

[Zetleft]

MOTHERFUCK YOU SATANANA MOSS.

He didn't hurt my fantasy game and Dallas D still helped me win in my other fantasy league but goddamn that game shoulda been so fucking over.  End of the day a dallas loss, especially like that, sours any fantasy wins. 

ps. bullshit holding call on 3rd down.

[Murgos]

Meh, not much I can do with 2/3rds of my team grossely underperforming (some as much as 1/5th projected).  Drew Brees scored 3 pts, Corey Dillon had 3.6, Chris Chambers with 4.4 and Jimmy Smith managed a whopping 6.4.

Hopefully now that they have all gotten thir bad week out of the way we can move on to our regularly scheduled ass-kicking.

[HaemishM]

That Skins/Boys game was just insane. There is no goddamn way that Santana Moss should have had that much unmolested space over the middle of the field like that. I mean, when Mark Brunell and his walker beats you in the 4th quarter, you have some serious problems.

[Shockeye]

My win total now surpasses last year.

[Sauced]

*yawn*

Another 30 points left on the bench this week.  Ho-hum!

Seriously, the Bears D was heroic last week, but I fear the Bengals this Sunday.  At best, 37 points from the defense is doubtful.

[murdoc]

woooo 2nd least amount of points is good enough for 3rd place!

[WayAbvPar]

Oh look- I get matched up with the highest point total of the week AGAIN. Have I mentioned how much I fucking loathe head to head fantasy leagues?

[MrHat]

Oh look- I get matched up with the highest point total of the week AGAIN. Have I mentioned how much I fucking loathe head to head fantasy leagues?

I wish you weren't a liar.

I lost again.  Fuck you Tomlinson 50 fucking points.  Our stats need to change, 50 points? FIFTY?

And my Cinc defence gets 5 interecptions, holds to 7 points, and recovers a fumble and I get what? 17?

[Rasix]

Don't be a dipshit.  17 points from a defense is completely acceptable (30 point efforts always involve a defensive TD and lots of sacks) and LT had 192 yards rushing, 3 touchdowns, 6 receptions for 28 yards, and even threw a touchdown.  If you don't get 50 points for that, I don't know what to say.  Hey, sometimes you just run into monster games.  Westbrook put up 35 for you, which aint too shabby.

And my team sucks.  What a bunch of fucking underachievers. Draft rounds 1-5 and 7 have been complete busts so far. Stupid bastard Dante Culpepper finally puts up good numbers and STILL only manages a point more than Drew the Living Scupture. At least 3-4 players each week decide to stink it up.   My leading points scorer hasn't started a game for me all season and my defense is in second place with a whopping 5 more points that LT put up THIS WEEK.   

The basement is mine, and will probably be all season. HOO-fucking-RAY.

[HaemishM]

I got hosed this week. Thanks Arizona for making sure Kirt Warner cannot throw a touchdown pass EVAR. Oh and he's out now, so the prospects for Fitzgerald are even worse, except that next week, he plays against the worst pass D in the league in San Fran. Somehow, both in this league and the Morlocks league, I got lit up. I get beat by 4 points because I picked Buffalo's D over Jacksonville's. The rest of my bench was pathetic. In the Morlocks league, I do well except for being matched up against the guy with both Shaun Alexander and Steve Smith. TATTOOED!

Also, just so everyone keeps it in mind, GREEN BAY FUCKING SUCKS. Their defense has gotten ONE GODDAMN TURNOVER the whole season, and they've turned the ball over 8 fucking times. SIGH. Fire the coach, fire the general manager especially since he did FUCKALL in the offseason to improve the d, other than driving Darren Sharper to Minnesota.

I forsee Edgerrin James getting run down by the end of the season. He is carrying that team (and my team) and the wideouts just aren't TD's. And if that defense lasts all year, I'll be real surprised.

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MIAMI!?!?!?! They have won 2 games. Why? Where is Buffalo's run defense? Or their passing? Oh, right, their passing is in Dallas. Can the Saints look anymore inept? I think they have hit the wall in terms of exhaustion, and it's only going to get worse from here. No matter where they end up next year, it'll be a miracle if Haslett is still coaching there.

The Rams are 2-1, but are not a legitimate contender. I watched their game yesterday, and their defense really benefitted from the Titans not having a deep threat. They just stacked the line, and still almost lost the game. Their offense isn't that high-flying, but Steven Jackson IS the real deal. Their O Line is shit, though.

Eli Manning is the real deal. If his defense had been even half-awake, the Giants could have won that game. As it was, LT just gashed the fuck out of them, and when they tried to stop him, Gates and McCardell 4TW. It was ugly. The Chargers D, meanwhile, is not what it's going to need to be. Looking at their upcoming games, I forsee a tough, tough road ahead. The Giants, meanwhile, could sneak into a wild card berth, if their Defense returns and their O Line holds up. Philadelphia is not the team they should be; there is no way they should come down to a last second field goal against Oakland, who blows monkeys.

[Rasix]

Also, just so everyone keeps it in mind, GREEN BAY FUCKING SUCKS. Their defense has gotten ONE GODDAMN TURNOVER the whole season, and they've turned the ball over 8 fucking times. SIGH. Fire the coach, fire the general manager especially since he did FUCKALL in the offseason to improve the d, other than driving Darren Sharper to Minnesota.

Dante Culpepper has turned the ball over 10 times in 3 games and has been sacked 12 times.  They really miss Matt Birk and Nate Burleson.

Ryan Longwell has made 3 field goals in 3 games. ...   Favre should just quit now before he goes out on an 0-16 team to end his career.

I have 2 rushing tds and 3 receiving tds from my starters.  Yikes. 

[shiznitz]

Dante had Nate in weeks 1 & 2 and it didn't help. I have Nate in all three of my leagues. Sucks to be me.

[Rasix]

Dante had Nate in weeks 1 & 2 and it didn't help. I have Nate in all three of my leagues. Sucks to be me.

Ahh didn't know that.  I was in Europe.  Nate sure seemed like a steal of a pick for a number #1 receiver of a top quarterback when he was drafted...