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Author Topic: Useless Movies  (Read 167173 times)
Samwise
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Reply #455 on: May 27, 2022, 08:16:24 AM

Everything Everywhere All At Once was pretty fun, I'd recommend it.

Thread here, and yeah, it was great.  If omicron wasn't rearing its ugly head I'd be ready to go see it a second time.

"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
Khaldun
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Reply #456 on: June 08, 2022, 09:06:29 AM

There's a trailer out for Black Adam. Doesn't really seem worth it's own thread.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0tOpBuYasI

It feels like a weird leftover. Like, a vehicle built around Black Adam where Captain Marvel isn't around? Where the only other superheroes in evidence are Hawkman, Nuklon and Dr. Fate? What is the point here? Black Adam is the essence of a "relational character": he only makes sense in a universe populated with a) Captain Marvel and b) lots of superheroes who are very restrained in how they deal with bad guys.
Samwise
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Reply #457 on: June 08, 2022, 01:23:07 PM

Hey, it worked for Morbius.

"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
Velorath
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Reply #458 on: June 08, 2022, 02:27:17 PM

There's a trailer out for Black Adam. Doesn't really seem worth it's own thread.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0tOpBuYasI

It feels like a weird leftover. Like, a vehicle built around Black Adam where Captain Marvel isn't around? Where the only other superheroes in evidence are Hawkman, Nuklon and Dr. Fate? What is the point here? Black Adam is the essence of a "relational character": he only makes sense in a universe populated with a) Captain Marvel and b) lots of superheroes who are very restrained in how they deal with bad guys.


I mean, they're clearly trying to draw from the Black Reign arc in JSA to some extent, but yeah like you suggest I don't know how well that is going to work in just a vacuum with these characters.
Khaldun
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Reply #459 on: June 08, 2022, 07:10:25 PM

It's 100% Black Reign but I mean shit, that took a ton of set-up to mean anything plus heroes dividing over whether to be pro-Black Adam or against him. I'm not seeing anything but those three in the IMDB credits. Plus, what, they're not going to try and say "oh ok Fate and Hawkman were ALSO ALIVE in ANCIENT EGYPT so they know him from back when", I hope. That's the kind of thing you make an animated version of and dump it to HBO Max.

Edit add: I found the attempt to relaunch Morbius in the theaters because Sony publicity people thought the Morbin' Time meme was affection for the movie really one of the most hilarious bits of effective trolling ever.
Samwise
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Reply #460 on: August 23, 2022, 05:16:23 PM

Glorious is a movie about a Lovecraftian monster with the voice of JK Simmons who lives in a rest stop glory hole.

"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
HaemishM
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Reply #461 on: August 23, 2022, 07:28:55 PM

Ok, goddamn. That looks fantastic.

BobtheSomething
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Reply #462 on: October 01, 2022, 07:26:12 AM

Have any of you seen Barbarian?

I thought the first half of the film was well written and executed, but the second half was a bit of a mess.  Justin Long shined, but everyone else swung wildly between gritty, true-crime type horror and goofy Jason Vorhees horror as “needed” by the plot.
Samwise
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Reply #463 on: October 04, 2022, 05:31:53 PM

It's spooky movie season and I'm between jobs and all boostered up so I've been watching matinees.  So far this week I've seen "Smile" and "Pearl".  "Smile" was pretty good but it was so much like so many other movies that I left it thinking "eh, okay."  "Pearl" stood out more as something I hadn't seen before a dozen times.

"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
Johny Cee
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Reply #464 on: October 06, 2022, 07:13:56 AM

It's spooky movie season and I'm between jobs and all boostered up so I've been watching matinees.  So far this week I've seen "Smile" and "Pearl".  "Smile" was pretty good but it was so much like so many other movies that I left it thinking "eh, okay."  "Pearl" stood out more as something I hadn't seen before a dozen times.

If you want some things that are new to the palate...

The Suspira remake/reimagining from a couple years ago was really good and weird.  (Tilda Swinton plays three parts, including an old German man!  In fact, the cast is almost all women except for a couple police officers who are barely in it.)
Samwise
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Reply #465 on: October 06, 2022, 07:21:09 AM

Yup, I saw that one in the theater in the beforetimes, and rewatched it on streaming last year around this time.  I did like it quite a bit, but I can see a major Argento fan thinking it was blasphemous.

Yesterday I saw something in a less spoopy vein: Vesper.  A rare instance where the lunchtime showing actually had other people in the theater, because it was the only showing of it all day.  It was pretty good and one I'd recommend catching on streaming later this year but I don't know that I'd say it would have been worth taking a day off work for.  Mostly I dug the fact that it was Apocalypse World in a toxic haunted forest instead of the usual toxic desert wasteland.

"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
Johny Cee
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Reply #466 on: October 06, 2022, 12:28:24 PM

Yup, I saw that one in the theater in the beforetimes, and rewatched it on streaming last year around this time.  I did like it quite a bit, but I can see a major Argento fan thinking it was blasphemous.


I mean, Argento has made pure shit for years.... 


Brand New Cherry Flavor on netflix is fun too as a limited series.  By the same guy as the Channel Zero anthology.
Velorath
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Reply #467 on: October 06, 2022, 03:57:56 PM

Yup, I saw that one in the theater in the beforetimes, and rewatched it on streaming last year around this time.  I did like it quite a bit, but I can see a major Argento fan thinking it was blasphemous.


I mean, Argento has made pure shit for years.... 


Dark Glasses was perfectly ok.

Suspiria (2018) could have lost about 45 minutes.
Samwise
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Reply #468 on: October 11, 2022, 06:44:16 AM

Shudder has a lot of moderately entertaining trash on it, but Deadstream far surpassed my expectations.

"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
Johny Cee
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Reply #469 on: October 13, 2022, 01:44:23 PM

Yup, I saw that one in the theater in the beforetimes, and rewatched it on streaming last year around this time.  I did like it quite a bit, but I can see a major Argento fan thinking it was blasphemous.


I mean, Argento has made pure shit for years.... 


Dark Glasses was perfectly ok.

Suspiria (2018) could have lost about 45 minutes.

I'm not an Argento guy anyway, but I have seen images from Dracula 3d and that man is going to have to do better than "perfectly okay" for a while.  John Carpenter had the good sense to putter around somewhere else after he hit the skids, even if The Ward was not offensive and merely blandly better than an Asylum flick and/or the weirdly bad as well as unfun Ghosts of Mars.


Quentin Tarantino and Roger Avary now have a podcast called Video Archives, where they talk about videos they used to have at the video store they both worked at in the '80s.  It's pretty good, but it has really made me want to see a bunch of flicks from the '70s/early '80s like Coma and Dressed to Kill.  Its a podcast that feels kind of like the old days of trying to find something in the local video store.
Velorath
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Reply #470 on: October 13, 2022, 08:29:18 PM

Quentin Tarantino and Roger Avary now have a podcast called Video Archives, where they talk about videos they used to have at the video store they both worked at in the '80s.  It's pretty good, but it has really made me want to see a bunch of flicks from the '70s/early '80s like Coma and Dressed to Kill.  Its a podcast that feels kind of like the old days of trying to find something in the local video store.

I've been listening to the Video Archives podcast, and while I always enjoy hearing Taratino talk about movies. Whenever I check out one that he loves though, 95% of the time I don't find it anywhere near as great as he does.
Threash
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Reply #471 on: October 14, 2022, 08:22:54 AM

Watched the new Hellraiser last night, it was...ok? Certainly better than the sillier and sillier sequels, but not as good as the original. I did not like a few of the plot choices, but the cenobites were amazingly done.

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Johny Cee
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Reply #472 on: October 16, 2022, 01:01:41 PM

Quentin Tarantino and Roger Avary now have a podcast called Video Archives, where they talk about videos they used to have at the video store they both worked at in the '80s.  It's pretty good, but it has really made me want to see a bunch of flicks from the '70s/early '80s like Coma and Dressed to Kill.  Its a podcast that feels kind of like the old days of trying to find something in the local video store.

I've been listening to the Video Archives podcast, and while I always enjoy hearing Taratino talk about movies. Whenever I check out one that he loves though, 95% of the time I don't find it anywhere near as great as he does.

Tarantino can really overlook flaws if a movie does at least one thing that is interesting or insightful, even if the rest is schloky nonsense.  Its a nice antidote to the low effort snark that is the norm for film/television podcast and youtube commentary.  It feels very much like Red Letter Media...  and hey, they're both big fans of Leo Fong!

Tarantino also can really come off as a negative charisma creep at times in between saying some really insightful or empathetic things.  He is SUCH an old school video store clerk....  It's like, you have a good conversation with a guy about how interesting or great the themes of a cult movie are, and then he unsolicited tells you the time code for the best tits in the movie and you feel weirded out.


The Eli Roth History of Horror podcast is actually pretty good too.  I don't have much time for Eli Roth movies, but the podcast can be deep and interesting and has some great guests.
schild
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Reply #473 on: October 25, 2022, 07:36:40 PM

Spooktober Part 1:

  • Pearl: Not good. Well. It's fine, but it's NOT good. If we're making a trilogy that's adjacent to the Texas Chainsaw massacre, you need someone who can carry the movies. Mia Goth didn't and couldn't carry Pearl.
  • X: Was better than Pearl. Moviegoers and critics are BOTH wrong. Mia Goth had the help she needed. Just great.
  • Don't Worry Darling: bad. Florence Pugh can carry it but Styles and Pine are horrific actors and Wilde is an embarrassment. Pugh great though.
  • American Animals: Not a horror movie but also not very good. Beavis and Butthead and Butthead and Butthead Do a Crime.
  • The Fall: I don't know. It's trying to do The Descent thing but ultimately fails?
  • Resurrection: I love Tim Roth. I did not love this. It was just a mess. Also kind of fuckin stupid? I don't know. Gaslight and Abuse, the movie.

Up next: The Night House, Barbarian, VHS99, Cube JP, maybe MEN and uh, I don't know, probably time I rewatched mother!.
« Last Edit: October 25, 2022, 07:38:13 PM by schild »
Velorath
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Reply #474 on: October 26, 2022, 10:24:51 AM

V/H/S/99 feels like it's trying to hard to get the '99 part across and half the segments do it by making the characters obnoxious as fuck. There are two different segments where the intro to the characters are them filming themselves pulling pranks on each other and doing stunts and shit. Last year's entry was a lot better.

Barbarian I went into blind, and I don't know what I was expecting but it wasn't that. Pretty entertaining. I'll probably watch Deadstream next.
satael
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Reply #475 on: October 28, 2022, 02:42:15 AM

Barbarian I went into blind, and I don't know what I was expecting but it wasn't that. Pretty entertaining. I'll probably watch Deadstream next.

I have to agree, Barbarian wasn't that great of a movie but without knowing anything in advance (other than it was horror and had a Skarsgård in it) it was entertaining but I couldn't see myself ever watching it again.
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Reply #476 on: November 01, 2022, 06:59:56 PM

Barbarian I went into blind, and I don't know what I was expecting but it wasn't that. Pretty entertaining. I'll probably watch Deadstream next.

I have to agree, Barbarian wasn't that great of a movie but without knowing anything in advance (other than it was horror and had a Skarsgård in it) it was entertaining but I couldn't see myself ever watching it again.
Some twisted shit that managed to actually make me go 'WTF was that?' a few times. But yeah, zero replay value, all shock.

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HaemishM
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Reply #477 on: November 02, 2022, 07:21:19 PM

Barbarian was watchable, but in a totally 'WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?" sort of way. I would watch something by that director again, though yeah, I don't see rewatching Barbarian itself for any reason. I imagine a rewatch would likely just make you poke holes in the story that couldn't be papered over.

Samwise
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Reply #478 on: November 05, 2022, 03:43:12 PM

In line with what others have said, Barbarian was fun, especially around the midway point while I was still figuring out what was going on, but I thought the actual reveal of what was going on was kind of weak and muddled.  It felt like they had three different ideas for what the movie was about and kind of mushed them together into something that was less than the sum of its parts.

"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
HaemishM
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Reply #479 on: November 05, 2022, 10:13:29 PM

Crimes of the Future is just another Cronenberg movie. It makes very little sense outside of being in a Cronen-verse, and doesn't really have much going for it other than a very quirky Kristen Stewart performance. For Cronenberg completionists only.

Velorath
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Reply #480 on: November 18, 2022, 08:07:48 AM

Tár was pretty good, because apparently Cate Blanchett as a conductor is just so interesting to me that I didn't even care about the story. Also has one of the most surprisingly funny ending scenes considering everything that happened in the two hours preceding it.

Also watched The Menu last night, which from the first trailer had looked like a movie made specifically for the people on our food channel in Discord. It was pretty great and I won't say much more than that. Should make for a good double feature with Pig.
Samwise
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Reply #481 on: December 17, 2022, 07:22:45 AM

There's a trailer out for Black Adam. Doesn't really seem worth it's own thread.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0tOpBuYasI

It feels like a weird leftover. Like, a vehicle built around Black Adam where Captain Marvel isn't around? Where the only other superheroes in evidence are Hawkman, Nuklon and Dr. Fate? What is the point here? Black Adam is the essence of a "relational character": he only makes sense in a universe populated with a) Captain Marvel and b) lots of superheroes who are very restrained in how they deal with bad guys.

I caught this on HBO.  It's got a few fun action sequences, which puts it above crap like The Eternals.  Other than that, it's just a complete mess, basically for the reasons you said.  Would have made much more sense to bring him in as part of a Captain Marvel movie, because those two characters playing off each other would have been really fun, and the backstory explanation would have been much simpler: "wait, you got these wizard dude powers TOO?"  "Well, five thousand years ago..."

"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
Velorath
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Reply #482 on: December 17, 2022, 03:05:49 PM

Nah, I'd rather watch Eternals.
Samwise
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Reply #483 on: December 31, 2022, 02:21:16 PM

Those hack frauds in Milwaukee have outdone themselves.  The most valuable VHS tape in the world is now a factory sealed copy of Nukie (1993), narrowly beating out a Back to the Future VHS tape that was sold recently for $75k. 

"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
BobtheSomething
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Reply #484 on: December 31, 2022, 03:08:05 PM

Those hack frauds in Milwaukee have outdone themselves.  The most valuable VHS tape in the world is now a factory sealed copy of Nukie (1993), narrowly beating out a Back to the Future VHS tape that was sold recently for $75k. 

That whole video is gold. 
Samwise
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Reply #485 on: December 31, 2022, 03:18:44 PM

When I saw that they'd posted a video on Nukie, I thought "so if they watch it and it's terrible do they destroy ALL the copies?"  Little did I know!  A fitting end to such a venerable running gag.

"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
Velorath
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Reply #486 on: January 03, 2023, 12:31:13 AM

The Menu is now available to watch on HBO Max.
Samwise
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Reply #487 on: January 05, 2023, 10:10:32 AM

The Menu is now available to watch on HBO Max.


"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
Johny Cee
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Reply #488 on: January 05, 2023, 10:16:07 AM

When I saw that they'd posted a video on Nukie, I thought "so if they watch it and it's terrible do they destroy ALL the copies?"  Little did I know!  A fitting end to such a venerable running gag.

The current high bid on the Nukie tape is Gary Newman, of Garry's Mod and everyone's favorite Hobbesian murder simulator Rust.

https://twitter.com/garrynewman/status/1610348956713631745?s=20&t=_BXlcHtjvKjB_jJaT2Q-xQ
Samwise
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Reply #489 on: January 05, 2023, 10:58:08 AM

What a time to be alive.  I have been really curious who the rich dudes are that have gotten it up to $80k for shits and giggles (my personal "shits and giggles" limit was about $1k), because I can't imagine any of them are actually thinking they're going to be able to flip it to a bigger sucker the way the NFT marks do.  Was guessing that it was Hollywood types but wealthy game dev absolutely fits.

"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
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