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Author Topic: Useless Movies  (Read 132852 times)
Hawkbit
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Reply #420 on: September 28, 2019, 08:18:31 PM

Showgirls II: The Hustlin'

I wasted one of my biannual cinema experiences on this turd because my wife made me tag along to a client/work function. I was mildly interested because there was a buzz about JLo being Oscar-worthy. The client bailed halfway through and my wife was too tipsy to understand we needed to leave as well.

Terrible actors playing terrible people doing terrible things. Somewhere about 2/3 through the movie the director tries to pull some Tarantino on this absolute bucket of shit of a story. Easily the worst movie I've seen in a very long time. I would make a thread but the movie isn't worth it.

Also, negative points for one of the girls having a cat and then she gets arrested and we never find out if the cat is okay.
pxib
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Reply #421 on: October 21, 2019, 01:30:48 AM

I just happened to rewatch Scott Pilgrim vs. the World and though I had remembered that Lucas Lee was played by Captain America, I'd completely forgotten that Envy Adams and Todd Ingram were played by Captain Marvel and Superman.

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Cyrrex
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Reply #422 on: October 21, 2019, 02:03:10 AM

I kinda hated that movie, but I remember thinking at the time that it had one redeeming quality (Brie Larsen).  I am glad to see that I was on the mark about that one.

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Ironwood
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Reply #423 on: October 23, 2019, 11:48:33 AM

The cast was fine, but I hated the movie also.

Which is a shame, because it got a lot of love from the usual crowd and I never really understood why.

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
Mandella
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Reply #424 on: October 30, 2019, 12:53:06 PM

The cast was fine, but I hated the movie also.

Which is a shame, because it got a lot of love from the usual crowd and I never really understood why.


Because it was a fun movie that entertained me for an hour and a half?

 Ohhhhh, I see.
Ironwood
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Reply #425 on: October 30, 2019, 02:06:47 PM

OH YEAH, THAT'LL BE IT, NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT THANKS.  I'M TOTALLY PUT RIGHT NOW.

 Ohhhhh, I see.

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
pxib
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Reply #426 on: November 29, 2019, 05:15:18 PM

Knives Out is exactly what it seems to be, a classic old whodunnit (with a couple unique twists) with an all-star cast. Everybody seems to be having fun, and the writing is snappy. The mystery which befuddles our melodramatic sleuth is not the one you'd expect... but everyone will wind up gathered in the drawing room by the end of it. Fast, funny, impeccably acted and directed... Rian Johnson back in form, though perhaps not quite as striking as Brick was back in the day.

Enjoyed it, laughed, ah-ha'd and am happy to recommend. Not much to say about it other than that, though, so I didn't think I'd start a thread.

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ezrast
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Reply #427 on: December 02, 2019, 06:23:28 PM

Agreed on all counts. Solid mystery story about a lovably hateable family. Had fun throughout. Hard to talk about without spoilers.
lamaros
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Reply #428 on: December 08, 2019, 02:32:08 PM

A terrific movie! Completely agree.
HaemishM
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Reply #429 on: February 09, 2020, 12:21:34 PM

I couldn't find a threat on it, but I finally watched The Favourite from last year with Rachel Weisz and Emma Stone. Goddamn that was good. Very odd cinematography and intentionally historically inaccurate but two great performances by great actresses (and 3 if you count the woman playing Queen Anne, which I do), great costuming and really funny in parts.

MisterNoisy
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Reply #430 on: April 15, 2020, 10:38:31 PM

Code8 (on Netflix now) is not terrible, but goddamn, it definitely isn't good either.  There are worse ways to kill a couple of hours, but you won't remember it in a week.

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Khaldun
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Reply #431 on: July 14, 2020, 09:51:55 AM

The Old Guard on Netflix. Decent action sequences, a nice queer romance, and utterly fucking predictable in narrative terms. Within twenty minutes I knew everything that was going to happen. I could have stopped the film right then and written out a script outline that would have been accurate down to the fine details.

If they make a sequel, they had better start doing some actual world-building. And also, for immortals, these guys are kind of fucking dumb.
Khaldun
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Reply #432 on: August 01, 2020, 10:16:40 PM

Watched My Cousin Vinny with my kid the other night. Holds up pretty well--the plot is standard courtroom schmaltz but Pesci's worries about his abilities and his relationship with Marisa Tomei's character feel surprisingly grounded. I was also struck at how benevolent even the serious fuck-up by the police is made to feel despite the fact that the two young guys are facing the death penalty--that part feels like it is definitively in the past--I don't think you could play that for laughs any longer or have the sheriff and judge come off like basically nice guys who are a little too eager to send some boys to fry. Plus of course pre-Internet--somebody should do a full-scale collection of plots that depend upon the slowness and incompletion (in relative terms) of pre-online communications.
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Reply #433 on: August 02, 2020, 12:06:43 PM

Cell phones with cameras and the Internet require things like genre horror to completely rethink a lot of their tropes, or at the very least make it plainly obvious that "we have no cell service here" as a necessary plot device.

Khaldun
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Reply #434 on: August 02, 2020, 04:25:30 PM

Funny how in an era of ubiquitous camera phones with high-quality photos and video, every cryptozoological creature ever has apparently decided to stop being seen at all, and the kinds of UFOs that liked to buzz highways and anally probe people now and again have decided to only appear to Air Force jets.
« Last Edit: August 03, 2020, 06:01:07 PM by Khaldun »
Mandella
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Reply #435 on: August 03, 2020, 02:48:09 PM

Cell phones with cameras and the Internet require things like genre horror to completely rethink a lot of their tropes, or at the very least make it plainly obvious that "we have no cell service here" as a necessary plot device.

And don't forget the "Oh noes I dropped my cell phone" contrivance.

Although honestly not so much a contrivance as just true to life I guess.
HaemishM
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Reply #436 on: November 03, 2020, 09:44:22 AM

I didn't see a thread on Doctor Sleep, but I watched this over the weekend/last night. I had to watch it in two sittings because holy shit is it longer than it needs to be and boring. It's a thoroughly mediocre movie. It feels like it's trying to be a sequel to the Shining (and the book is a sequel), but a sequel to both the movie and the book, which is a fine needle to thread since Stephen King HATED the Kubrick movie. It's over 2 1/2 hours long which normally wouldn't bother me but the movie moves very slowly and I found that I really didn't give a shit about the main plot with the coven of psychic vampires. Rebecca Ferguson is hot as hell and I like the guy that plays Crow but that whole Evil X-Men led by female Irish Professor X was just utterly boring. Just from the standpoint of directing and filmography, it's such a muted, boring, stylistically uninteresting movie. The best parts of the movie are when the director is trying to ape Stanley Kubrick - the redux of the bar scene from the Shining with McGregor's Danny Torrance is really the only interesting part of the whole goddamn movie. McGregor's take on Danny Torrance seems to be treating him like a retarded manchild and I mean that literally - his speech patterns makes me think he was trying to extrapolate the kid from the original movie into an adult. If you liked the original Shining (book or movie), don't feel like this is necessary because it really isn't.

Sky
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Reply #437 on: July 16, 2021, 11:14:45 AM

NGL I would watch a Waititi-directed Deadpool/Korg teamup movie.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7q60i_Lh_E
HaemishM
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Reply #438 on: July 17, 2021, 10:30:46 AM

100%

HaemishM
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Reply #439 on: July 17, 2021, 11:10:54 PM

Gunpowder Milkshake on Netflix is fucking awful. I barely made it an hour in. If your idea of incredible cinema is the Japan scenes from Kill Bill, only with more primary colors and neon, and worse action, this is for you. This is Tryhard filmmaking, awkward and unsuccessful attempts to quirky and cool, but with action scenes that can't even manage "Rule of Cool," they just look bad. Hand-to-hand looks like it was done in 1/2 speed then they sped the film up. I couldn't finish it. It had such a great cast but with such garbage writing, and Karen Gillan talking in an American accent hinders her ability to act. It's even weirder when her mother (Lena Headey) speaks with a British accent but Gillan speaks with an American accent, claiming that they moved to America but with scenes that clearly look like they were filmed in Eastern Europe.

HaemishM
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Reply #440 on: August 30, 2021, 09:18:32 AM

If you have HBO Max, you could check out the latest Hugh Jackman vehicle, Reminiscence (think it's in the theaters too). It's not bad, but it's kind of predictable and forgettable. Written and directed by Lisa Joy, which was the non-Nolan part of the creative team behind Westworld. If you watched s3 of Westworld, this is going to feel a bit familiar - imagine mixing that (except without robots) with a different take on the same kind of tech that was in Strange Days, mixed with JG Ballard's The Drowned World. The setting is sort of interesting - it's basically Miami after a flood, so the city is more like Venice and no one goes out during the day because it's too hot (except for the numerous scenes set in the daytime) with some pretty good effects blending present day Miami only with flooded streets and lots of neon. Unfortunately, the story is pretty predictable from the minute Rebecca Ferguson appears. There are one or two surprises but nothing that puts it past about a 3.5 star rating. Thandie Newton and Angela Sarafyan both have roles, which adds to the "s4 of Westworld" feeling. Daniel Wu has a decent role as a New Orleans gangster but his side project kind of feels more like an excuse to do a set piece.

It's not a waste of 2 hours, but there are better things to watch on HBO Max (like Suicide Squad).

Khaldun
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Reply #441 on: January 12, 2022, 02:01:03 PM

Watched a new documentary, "The Rescue", on Disney + (it's in the National Geographic content), based on the rescue of the boys from the cave in Thailand. Really well done--you can see that a good amount of it involves re-enacted sequences as well as actual footage but it's pretty seamless, incredibly well-edited generally. There's an interesting point that comes out of it too which is that in certain cases, highly specialized expertise is simply the only thing that can help solve a problem. It wasn't even cave diving per se; if one of the divers hadn't also been a highly experienced anaesthesiologist they wouldn't have been able to rescue the kids at all.

Extra bonus: they don't even bother mentioning Elon Musk's stupid submarine/pedo thing and yet the film manages to underscore what a colossal oozing bedsore he was for sticking his nose into this thing at all. Not the least because the Thai military was incredibly and legitimately uneasy about the insanely risky plan the cave divers came up with--hell, the divers were deeply unsettled about it--and it turns out that even one day's delay if anybody had paused to say "well, maybe we should talk to that billionaire guy" would have ended up killing at least five of the kids as well as some Thai divers because of water rising again in the caves.
NowhereMan
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Reply #442 on: February 14, 2022, 04:28:35 AM

Watched the Tinder Swindler on Netflix. I'm always a little uneasy about these kind of documentaries that are a pushing a very particular view of things in this case (spoilers just in case someone really wants to go with no idea of how it turns out but I don't think it really affects viewing)[soiler]the conman who is the target is back out and living the life in Israel and they're trying to raise awareness of who he is and what he's done[/spoiler]. The sheer scope of his scheme is pretty incredible though, it is very much like some insane venture capitalist read about a con man and thought 'this makes money, how is it scaleable?' and just utterly ruining dozens and dozens of people's lives in a short period.

"Look at my car. Do you think that was bought with the earnest love of geeks?" - HaemishM
Samwise
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Reply #443 on: March 03, 2022, 03:50:43 PM

Licorice Pizza was fun, in a meandering kind of way.

"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
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Reply #444 on: April 18, 2022, 07:46:42 PM

Watched "Dual" today.  For the first part of the film I was trying to figure out if Karen Gillan sounded like a robot because she couldn't do an American accent and emote at the same time, or because she was supposed to have a flat affect due to clinical depression.  Then Aaron Paul showed up and started doing the same weird flat delivery and I realized "oh, this is what the director WANTED the dialogue to sound like".

"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
Sky
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Reply #445 on: April 19, 2022, 10:00:16 AM

I don't even bother watching most modern movies anymore. We watched The Honey Pot, a uhh crimedy I guess. Decent movie in there, but the comedy was zany 60s stuff. Then Under the Yum-Yum Tree came on, which was, eh, madcap (see: zany 60s stuff)? But I dig Imogene Coca, who played a maid here, and her husband was Paul Lind of all people, who got his requisite mugging time. The thread between the two was Edie Adams...I do have a thing for noir-type starlets (usually hallmarked by great snappy dialogue, though in these she was usually left with more of a snappy monologue as the casts were pretty uneven).

I'm just happy my prediction for the Honey Pot didn't come true. In the main character's bedroom there are two gold Indian (hindu not mohawk) statues with pitch black skin and painted white eyes....I was worried the killer would dress up as one of them in the penultimate scene....whew. Although we did have as fun game of 'which of these actors will end up in blackface before the movie is over?' We both lost, which is a win.
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Reply #446 on: April 19, 2022, 10:57:06 AM

On the old movie front, we watched "Rear Window" (my wife's first time seeing it) a few weeks ago to commemorate 2 years of being shut in.   why so serious?   My uncle the film major brought over his Blu-Ray copy and we made a little family movie night out of it.

It holds up well, obviously.  It'd been a while since I'd seen it last and this time around I paid a lot of attention to the coordination of the wide exterior shots with different things happening in different windows as the camera panned around, which would have involved a lot of careful timing with Hitchcock giving remote cues by radio.  In the modern era I imagine they'd film each window on its own and then composite them all together later.

"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
Sky
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Reply #447 on: April 19, 2022, 11:28:40 AM

Good call, I need to rewatch that one. I don't think I've seen it since college! I took a bunch of film classes and one of the better classes was basically a war between the prof and me, at the time I was a huge Kubrick fan and he went to school with Scorsese (this was pre-Goodfellas, most Scorsese I like comes after that and Kubrick only made 1 more film)...but we agreed on Hitchcock and I learned a TON about cinematography back then. Much to the chagrin of the fiancee because I'll sometimes rewind to watch a particularly well-shot scene and I reaally love when there is a great cinematographer in an unexpected film (Friday After Next has some really well-shot scenes, for instance (as well as a wicked soundtrack)).

One goal I want to pursue with drawing/painting is to capture some of that storytelling through cinematography vibe...
Khaldun
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Reply #448 on: April 19, 2022, 06:37:30 PM

We watched Rear Window a while back with the cinema-loving daughter and it was a good experience. I showed it to a class of mine also. Some Hitchcock ages poorly but that one is still pretty alive.
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Reply #449 on: May 11, 2022, 05:39:11 PM

Just saw Hatching, which I would describe as Turning Red, but Finnish body horror.  Instead of the girl turning into a monster, the monster turns into a girl.  Recommended.

"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
Samwise
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Reply #450 on: May 19, 2022, 01:39:12 PM

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent was surprisingly good.  I was expecting it to be one of those things where they have a hook and just enough funny material to cut together a trailer and that's it, but no, the whole thing was good.  It's not a trick.

"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
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Reply #451 on: May 19, 2022, 03:14:05 PM

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent was surprisingly good.  I was expecting it to be one of those things where they have a hook and just enough funny material to cut together a trailer and that's it, but no, the whole thing was good.  It's not a trick.

Did you not see JCVD? These movies work.
Samwise
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Reply #452 on: May 19, 2022, 05:53:09 PM

They can work, or they can be Snakes on a Plane.

"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
Phildo
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Reply #453 on: May 20, 2022, 09:34:23 AM

Re: Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent, which I agree was a lot of fun:
lamaros
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Reply #454 on: May 27, 2022, 10:03:50 AM

Everything Everywhere All At Once was pretty fun, I'd recommend it.
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