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Author Topic: Depression Thread  (Read 170640 times)
Khaldun
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Reply #420 on: April 19, 2017, 05:31:38 PM

Yeah, good job. Change is hard.
Engels
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Reply #421 on: April 19, 2017, 06:15:51 PM

Having a bit of experience, both professional and personal, I take my hat off to Lamaros' partner, and also him. The pit can be deep and the walls filled with spikes. Getting out of there  in emotional stamina alone is a positively athletic feat. Being outside the pit trying to get someone out is also perilous, because it constantly threatens to drag the other in with them.

Seriously, congratulations you two.

I should get back to nature, too.  You know, like going to a shop for groceries instead of the computer.  Maybe a condo in the woods that doesn't even have a health club or restaurant attached.  Buy a car with only two cup holders or something. -Signe

I LIKE being bounced around by Tonkors. - Lantyssa

Babies shooting themselves in the head is the state bird of West Virginia. - schild
Mosesandstick
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Reply #422 on: April 20, 2017, 12:36:07 PM

That's really good to hear, and I hope it just keeps getting better. My heart goes out to the two of you.
calapine
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Reply #423 on: July 11, 2017, 02:04:13 PM

So...I am going to be 8 weeks stationary starting tomorrow morning.

To "fix" my anxious personality disorder.

I am actually quite anxious about that, not being able to go home everyday and hide from the world outside in my room.
Don't have a laptop to bring with either, so I'll be missing a lot of internet. Plus side is you will have less politics spam from me.

Restoration is a perfectly valid school of magic!
Trippy
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Reply #424 on: July 11, 2017, 02:38:38 PM

Good luck!
Polysorbate80
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Reply #425 on: July 11, 2017, 03:31:43 PM

So...I am going to be 8 weeks stationary starting tomorrow morning.

What is "stationary"?  In any case, best of luck to you

“Why the fuck would you ... ?” is like 80% of the conversation with Poly — Chimpy
calapine
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Reply #426 on: July 11, 2017, 03:40:53 PM

What is "stationary"?


ie, I am not going home every day, but staying over night. With the option to go home one night on the weekend.

I'll be in the psychosomatic deparment, focused on Borderline, Eating disorders and Posttraumatic stress disorders.

Strictly seen I don't have any of that, but avoidant personality disorder.

In any case, best of luck to you


Thank you!  Heart Heart

Restoration is a perfectly valid school of magic!
Rendakor
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Reply #427 on: July 11, 2017, 04:11:51 PM

Good luck cala!

"i can't be a star citizen. they won't even give me a star green card"
lamaros
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Reply #428 on: July 11, 2017, 04:14:33 PM

Good luck I hope it works for you!
Engels
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Reply #429 on: July 11, 2017, 04:40:36 PM

Good luck Calapine! Tough road to hoe. Cheering you on from the interwebs.

I should get back to nature, too.  You know, like going to a shop for groceries instead of the computer.  Maybe a condo in the woods that doesn't even have a health club or restaurant attached.  Buy a car with only two cup holders or something. -Signe

I LIKE being bounced around by Tonkors. - Lantyssa

Babies shooting themselves in the head is the state bird of West Virginia. - schild
calapine
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Reply #430 on: July 11, 2017, 04:56:59 PM

meh, stop it. I am blushing.  embarassed

I'll see how it goes. My understanding is that it's sort of tough, as it mostly focused on practical aspects. Dialectical behavior therapy, its called I think.
And to learn better coping strategies. In my case it's me currently being dumb by drinking to be calm and not attending appointments or dates that stress me. Which leads to far me problems of course down the line.

it really doesnt help that I freeze when panicky either. But stopping here before I say too much. But yes, I need it. My life has been going in a circle for ages. Just good enough to not crash, but not any happyness either. And the older Id get my drinking would get worse too I bet. I dont have cravings yet when I dont, and lose the urge to drink when things are going fine, but as I know from family members, this is a slippery slope.
« Last Edit: July 11, 2017, 05:05:41 PM by calapine »

Restoration is a perfectly valid school of magic!
rattran
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Reply #431 on: July 11, 2017, 08:03:39 PM

Good luck, learning healthy coping mechanisms that work for you is a great thing to shoot for.
Signe
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Reply #432 on: July 12, 2017, 08:58:20 AM

No!  Don't go!  Stay here with us!  ;p

I had a similar experience some years ago although it wasn't quite as restrictive.  Mine was mostly just called rehap.  I don't drink alcohol much but there's this other stuff....  Ohhhhh, I see.  I found the group therapy incredibly interesting.  I think I became addicted to it.  Srsly.  Usually I'm not crazy about being in places where there's more than 0 people in the room.  I was riveted for the five or so hour session every day.  Most of the people lived crazy lives and had totally outrageous stories to tell.  One woman who had served quite a bit of prison time for various drug and alcohol related crimes had a slew of prison stories to tell.  Most of them were scary but there were also hilarious ones.  Stragely, it somehow helped me put a bit of my own life into perspective although I had very little in common with most of the people there.  They had it much tougher than I ever did. 

Anyway, anything that helps is worth it.  Good luck and I'll seriously miss you.  I  Heart  your posts and pictures. 

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Soln
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Reply #433 on: July 12, 2017, 10:26:59 AM

I sure hope you are OK Cal.  You can always rely on us for "cynical" commentary and support :D   Please rest up and come back.  /fistbump
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Reply #434 on: July 12, 2017, 11:21:41 AM

Good luck, Cal.

The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
RhyssaFireheart
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Reply #435 on: July 12, 2017, 02:04:28 PM

Good luck, Cala!

Mosesandstick
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Reply #436 on: July 12, 2017, 03:06:07 PM

Hope it goes well!
Paelos
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Reply #437 on: July 13, 2017, 11:34:12 AM

meh, stop it. I am blushing.  embarassed

I'll see how it goes. My understanding is that it's sort of tough, as it mostly focused on practical aspects. Dialectical behavior therapy, its called I think.
And to learn better coping strategies. In my case it's me currently being dumb by drinking to be calm and not attending appointments or dates that stress me. Which leads to far me problems of course down the line.

it really doesnt help that I freeze when panicky either. But stopping here before I say too much. But yes, I need it. My life has been going in a circle for ages. Just good enough to not crash, but not any happyness either. And the older Id get my drinking would get worse too I bet. I dont have cravings yet when I dont, and lose the urge to drink when things are going fine, but as I know from family members, this is a slippery slope.

Stopping drinking is the first step. It's a crutch of the anxiety-ridden that develops into a habit when you don't watch it. Things that helped me a lot on my journey were the following:

1 - Taking a multivitamin every day. Often my diet was shit and getting all the nutrients was impossible with what I was eating.
2 - Taking a probiotic. The connection between my anxiety and my digestion was strong. You can improve both by taking one.
3 - Breathing exercises. You can ramp yourself up with poor breathing. Taking a second, sitting down, and doing some 4-7-8 breathing can help regulate your stress. 4 counts in, 7 counts hold, 8 counts out.
4 - Get an ice pack and hold it against your wrists and neck. The cooling can be soothing on your sympathetic nervous system and help calm you down.
5 - Taking time every day to think of things your grateful for in your life. The pyschological act of "counting your blessings" so to speak can trigger you to slow down and not become obsessed with the negative in your life.
6 - Talking to a professional. It will help and you will get results. Don't think because you tried one method of talk therapy that they are all the same. You have to establish the right relationship with the right professional, and it can take time.
7 - Using whatever medication you need to bridge the gap. You may need to go on a beta blocker or antidepressant for a while. You may not need one forever. The important thing is not to reject it out of hand if it can help you heal.
8 - Address the roots of your anxiety. Part of talk therapy is to find out the why of your anxiety. What are your triggers and why do they exist? What can you learn about yourself and your past and how to create a better future?
9 - Be honest and open with people. Many are afraid of admitting what's going on when they are having panic attacks or anxiety, so they lie or avoid it. But in reality, people are usually very understanding of what's going on, especially those close to you.
10 - Understand that it's not forever. You won't always feel this way. You can get better if you focus on you and put in the work. It's time to be a little selfish and put you first. That's the way you can adjust and have a happy life.

Good luck to you and I hope it all works out well.

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ghost
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Reply #438 on: July 16, 2017, 01:05:46 PM

I think a key aspect to going into treatment for some psychologic/psychiatric issues is to realize that it's possible that things may not get "fixed", per se, but that you can learn how to cope/deal with things so that you are a happier and healthier person.  The hardest part is often after the acute phase of treatment.  Sometimes to make the most effective recovery it requires severing some old ties......friends and acquaintances that you may not have realized were pathologic before but that certainly don't help your situation once you figure it out.  It is a bit like quitting smoking or drinking-  it's tough to quit smoking when you're hanging out with smokers all the time. 

Good luck, homes.  I know you'll do great. 
calapine
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Reply #439 on: July 17, 2017, 05:32:42 AM

I guess I made it sound worse than it is, judging by all the reactions. I am not locked in, I get out weekends & have access ton Internet.

I will write a proper reply later this week, typing on the phone is in pain in the bum.

But thanks very much.  Heart

Restoration is a perfectly valid school of magic!
calapine
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Reply #440 on: July 28, 2017, 09:33:28 AM

*cuddly hugs* Thanks for your nice messages. That really lifted me up more than I expected!  Heart Heart Heart

Just got home over the weekend. And now having some wine (I know, I know.)

It's pretty interesting, but also really hard (as in very tasking). (For me, but other patients as well) Anyone interested in the types of therapies? If so can ramble give a concise description tomorrow.


The hospital itself is a really a place Ian with this photography skills should visit. It's part old building, part old-new fusion and part newly constructed. Overall quite a pecular atmosphere from the outside.


I can't do it justice, but just to give an idea:



The old entrance, which is now actually the backside, that's why it's so quiet.



That's the church (duh)

Closeup: the old section has a sort of fortress-feel, with the onion head towers. Especially if one is in a special mood to begin with:






There isn't much that gives it away, only the the metal blinds in the windows.

Mentally insane criminals are housed here. It's the same building, so I could literally visit them. (well, I'd get until the entrance to the department)

« Last Edit: July 28, 2017, 09:41:46 AM by calapine »

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Polysorbate80
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Reply #441 on: July 28, 2017, 04:28:13 PM


It's pretty interesting, but also really hard (as in very tasking). (For me, but other patients as well) Anyone interested in the types of therapies? If so can ramble give a concise description tomorrow.


Good to hear it's going well :}

I for one would be interested in hearing more about the therapy.  My daughter has some similar anxiety issues to what you've described, although likely not as pronounced.  She's in counselling for them, but I'm curious what approach Europeans take to it.

“Why the fuck would you ... ?” is like 80% of the conversation with Poly — Chimpy
Sir T
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Reply #442 on: July 28, 2017, 05:43:44 PM

The look of the place reminds me a bit of St Josephs. the Mental Hospital in limerick. Its actually a really nice place to walk around.

Hic sunt dracones.
calapine
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Reply #443 on: July 29, 2017, 08:33:52 AM

The look of the place reminds me a bit of St Josephs. the Mental Hospital in limerick. Its actually a really nice place to walk around.

Welp. I am glad inside it looks different, because this is serious horror film material:

Limerick Lunatic Asylum/St Joseph’s Hospital
« Last Edit: July 29, 2017, 01:51:41 PM by calapine »

Restoration is a perfectly valid school of magic!
Signe
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Reply #444 on: July 29, 2017, 11:10:31 AM

I'm interested!  :)  My Brain Camp was in the middle of the woods in the middle of nowhere which was cool.  I was hoping for scary disappearing corridors and creepy hidden sex torture dungeons but got group therapies and helpful behaviour alternatives instead and although it was helpful in some respects, it could have been more entertaining.  They didn't even broach the subject of primitive shock therapy machines or or other devices, which was kind of disappointing.  They did give me some absolutely horrific drugs that turned me into a paranoid turnip for a few months.  I thought I was going to hate it but I enjoyed the fuck out of most of it.  Hours and hours of people telling weird and hilarious stories... it was almost like being here!  ;p 

I have to mock myself or I'll cry!  Anyway, my behaviour was caused by an incident but I was getting the same treatment that people who had clinical depression and addiction to drugs and alcohol were getting.  I think that's all they knew how to do.  The drugs, though... I firmly believe they threw whatever the pharmaceutical companies threw at them, regardless of what they were actually for.  The one named Seroquel nearly killed me.

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Sir T
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Reply #445 on: July 29, 2017, 01:51:48 PM


Welp. I am glad inside it looks different, because this is serious horror film material:

Uh, the link does not work but I never thought it looked that bad. I mean it's an old building and they all have a certain starkness. The park it's in is lovely. vOv


Hic sunt dracones.
calapine
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Reply #446 on: July 29, 2017, 01:53:30 PM

Sorry.

Here: https://vimeo.com/112586187

And personally I wouldn't want to be locked in there:

« Last Edit: July 29, 2017, 02:05:19 PM by calapine »

Restoration is a perfectly valid school of magic!
Sir T
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Reply #447 on: July 29, 2017, 03:10:40 PM

Well ya, the building is decaying now. It was massivly overcrowded when it was in use

http://www.thejournal.ie/donal-moloney-limerick-asylum-1805379-Nov2014/

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calapine
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Reply #448 on: September 23, 2017, 08:06:21 AM

Eh scew it :(
« Last Edit: September 23, 2017, 10:21:01 AM by calapine »

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schild
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Reply #449 on: September 23, 2017, 08:37:02 AM

edit: thought i was in another thread, backing out slowly now, as I have no place in this thread
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Reply #450 on: September 23, 2017, 10:48:04 AM


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Reply #451 on: September 23, 2017, 11:18:15 AM

Best wishes Cala! Heart

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-  Mark Twain
calapine
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Reply #452 on: September 23, 2017, 12:21:40 PM


Thanks, I am fine. It was a long and way too personal post about my internal struggles and what I saw as progress, but after a bit realized what I meant to sound impressive had exactly the opposite effect. There is just no way you can spin "Today I managed to speak for  myself when talking to my social worker,  for the very first time! Very progress, much independent and strong" to sound impressive.

And then I went even more intimate because talking about your sexual fantasies on an open internet forum is super clever idea, why not, totally not a lapse of judgment...
« Last Edit: September 23, 2017, 12:44:46 PM by calapine »

Restoration is a perfectly valid school of magic!
Polysorbate80
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Reply #453 on: September 23, 2017, 12:34:23 PM

I did read the post--progress were made, and I ain't judging you.  Stick with it!

“Why the fuck would you ... ?” is like 80% of the conversation with Poly — Chimpy
Sir T
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Reply #454 on: September 23, 2017, 04:49:47 PM

Ya, it was a good post. It almost sounds like your social worker wanted you to get angry and stand up for yourself.

*hug*

Hic sunt dracones.
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