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f13.net  |  f13.net General Forums  |  General Discussion  |  Serious Business  |  Topic: Depression Thread 0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
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Author Topic: Depression Thread  (Read 78612 times)
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Reply #490 on: May 03, 2019, 11:02:35 AM

If I've learned two things from moving from a more introverted style to a less introverted style it's this:

There's a difference between being introverted and being stand-offish.
The World will not seek you out, you have to choose when to engage people.

Waiting for people to always approach you and notice you is not a good recipe for success if you want people to understand who you are. When people ask open ended questions in group, waiting for everyone else to response or choosing not to respond at all isn't going to make you seem mysterious and interesting. It makes people forget you are there, or worse they think you are perfectly fine not interacting so they don't want to bother you.

That doesn't mean you have to be the person who starts every conversation, or that you can't be by yourself when you need to charge your batteries. However, when you choose your battles as an introvert, you need to actually engage people. Always expecting people to come to you and draw you out, then getting frustrated when nobody seems to care, is almost as self-destructive as talking about yourself non-stop at every turn.

Everybody likes the person who is "easy to talk to" which is basically code for, they listen and ask questions. You don't really have to talk about yourself at all to engage people. You just have to ask questions, and not care if they ask you a damn thing. Eventually when you start doing that, people start also engaging you back. Not every time, but most of the time. And you'll get the ebb and flow of when to interject something you enjoyed into the conversation.

CPA, Sports blogger, Mount and Blade enthusiast
Braves by the Numbers, my sports blog
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