Well, my dad works at Nintendo and~: Console Wars Horseshit Megathread

[Rokal]

And the cover of Edge magazine's PS4/Xbone launch month is...


 

The new Mario game does look pretty amazing tbh. Video reviews in particular show that it's more exciting than anything going on for PS4/XB1 right now.

[Rasix]

I'm going to have to wait for the new consoles until my son and I can both put pressure on my wife.  If it's two of us asking, she'll break in no time.

[Miasma]

How old do you think a kid has to be before they could fully understand and play a game like Mario?  I imagine my nephew is still too young, maybe I should test out Mario myself...

Also, if you downloaded the day one patch Microsoft put up yesterday and printed out the confusing instructions so that you could enable your xbox one to not need to connect to the internet, too bad.  Today Microsoft pulled that webpage and said the whole thing wouldn't work, you still have to connect to the internet and there is no other way to apply the patch.

[Rasix]

I was playing Super Mario for the NES at 6? I was fucking terrible at it.  I was a lot better at Excitebike and random crap I could play at Round Table Pizza.

My son's 4 and he has spurts where he's really interested in iPad games like Angry Birds (every version), 300 Bowl, Fruit Ninja or True Skate.  All of those have simple controls and are not difficult conceptually.  I do not think my 6 year old brain would have dealt with a 3D Mario and a modern controller well.  However, as much as I was in it from the start, technology is much more integrated into my son's life than it was in mine at that age.

That being said, he's not being introduced to console gaming or anything more than casual iPad gaming at this time. I'm sure he'd love the Wii and Wii sports, but we'd rather he keep doing shit like reading and drawing and the like.  Outside of the weekends, he honestly doesn't have a ton of free time due to school and generally needing a shit load sleep (kid does 11 hours a night).

[Margalis]

GTA 5 was really the straw that broke the camel's back because while everyone kept fawning over that game and how it was 'the best game of this generation' all I saw was lots of wasted potential.

I listen to a fair number of non-gaming podcasts that sometimes discuss video games and the reaction to GTAV on them was pretty level-headed.

In video game media print everyone is like "this is the best game of all time", in video game podcasts people sheepishly admit that it has problems or that they put it down after a few hours, in non-gaming podcasts people complain about it. Video game criticism is in a a really bad place, and the more formal it is generally the worse it is.

I fear that the time of experiments - outside of the indie fringe or steam greenlight - is over. You can be the most successful thing yet, if you do not fit the mold and are incompatible with the standard business model you are pretty much out. Games like X-Com or Rayman have become so rare that it is pretty much a sensation when they come out and a miracle if they sell well and games like the Stanley Parable or Legend of Grimrock are indie games made by a bunch of enthusiasts in their spare time, self published and self-marketed and if they sell a few hundred thousand units it's sensational in a way as if Big Foot gave an interview on national TV.

Mid-tier games (which are the games I like most) are definitely drying up, and I fear that indie games are poised for a crash as well. They look really healthy now but I can't see it lasting - people have dozens of unplayed games in their backlogs and the math of production doesn't work out.

Say it takes 800 people to make Assassin's Creed IV and the game takes 2 years to make. Now say those 800 people split into teams of 10 and make indie games. I'll assume it still takes 2 years. That's now 80 games being made instead of 1 in that same time span. There's just no way a market can support that - the vast majority of those games will spectacularly fail and the market will become absolutely flooded with crap, discoverability problems will run rampant, etc.

This happened on Facebook and it's happening on mobile. To some degree it's happening on PC. On consoles it's happening the slowest because of the higher barrier to entry, but I think it will still happen. By "it" I mean extremely negative average return on investment, in thanks part to rising user acquisition cost. Making indie games is already extremely risky, and although there are success stories the majority of stories are of people who try for a few years, lose money, then return to "real" jobs. Relying on people to leave their jobs, create one or two decent indie games essentially out of charity, then return to those "real" jobs is not sustainable or healthy.
---

Personally my favorite types of games are solidly B titles - titles that would be considered AAA today had the game industry evolved more out of the 16-bit era without the infusion of PC developers. Indie games don't scratch that itch at all. So even if indie games continue to flourish (which they won't) it doesn't make my gaming life much better.

[Miasma]

Fifteen minutes of highlights from the twelve hour stream of polygon which you might remember got $750,000 from Microsoft.  Lot of cognitive dissonance between their ratings (including giving the actual consoles ratings which is borderline retarded) and what they actually experience.

[schild]

wut

Microsoft paid for that?

[Miasma]

No they didn't pay that for the stream itself but they have given polygon buckets of cash.

[Paelos]

For what exactly? I'm assuming ratings.

[Miasma]

Microsoft paid polygon $750,000 to make a documentary about... polygon.

That is totally not meant to influence their feelings about xbox at all.  It's for the entirely legitimate purpose of shitting out 90 minutes worth of self shot video about themselves.

[Paelos]

I wasn't buying an XBOX, but shit like that makes me report to everyone I know that knows I like games, not to buy one.

[HaemishM]

Fifteen minutes of highlights from the twelve hour stream of polygon which you might remember got $750,000 from Microsoft.  Lot of cognitive dissonance between their ratings (including giving the actual consoles ratings which is borderline retarded) and what they actually experience.

That may have been the most unintentionally funny thing I've seen in forever. Or at the very least in the last 5 minutes.

[Sir T]

To expand on Jeff Kellys point about M$ being focused on US/UK thinking... and to reinforce paelos thinking he will be begging people not to buy an XBone, I give you...

https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7908572160/hE00B808B/

Microsoft Studios hire Jonathan Ross as Executive Producer
29 Oct, 2013

Microsoft Studios has hired TV presenter Jonathan Ross to work on all things Xbox. Yeah, that's right. I really typed that. Eurogamer revealed the news that the appointment was announced by Phil Harrison at a gathering in London last night.

Phil Harrison said the chat show host was hired to help "change our thinking".

"We wanted to bring in new talent that would challenge the way we build games and the way we think about what an audience is and what is entertainment," stated the Xbox exec, Harrison.

"We want to broaden the concept of gaming to maybe blur the distinctions about what is a traditional game and what is a traditional television programme and what is a traditional linear media.

"These devices and boxes now allow us to do that in a really meaningful way."

I'm sure that Jonathan Ross will bring meaningful work to all the Microsoft Games Studios teams.

[Rokal]

Fifteen minutes of highlights from the twelve hour stream of polygon which you might remember got $750,000 from Microsoft.  Lot of cognitive dissonance between their ratings (including giving the actual consoles ratings which is borderline retarded) and what they actually experience.

Oof, that was rough to watch...

[Jeff Kelly]

I'll read Jeff's posts in full once the paperback comes out.

Watch this space for my Kindle Single 

[Jeff Kelly]

I'm sure that Jonathan Ross will bring meaningful work to all the Microsoft Games Studios teams.

Well it could be worse, they could have hired Piers Morgan instead

[Jeff Kelly]

BTW even the UK won't get the full set of media integration features and TV functionality until some time in 2014.

via Eurogamer:

The UK gets 13 apps during this time period, which Microsoft calls the first wave, including 4oD, Lovefilm, Netflix and Now TV. As with apps on Xbox 360, apps on Xbox One utilise the console's features. The Wuaki.tv app, for example, includes gesture control, voice commands and multitasking for movie and TV streaming.

Here's the list of entertainment apps in full:

4oD
Amazon\LOVEFiLM
blinkbox
Crackle
Demand 5
Eurosport
Machinima
MUZU TV
Netflix
NOW TV
TED
Twitch
Wuaki.tv
Missing in action are the BBC iPlayer, the Sky Player and the ITV Player, all of which are available on Xbox 360. Microsoft said it will continue to announce more apps for both Xbox One and Xbox 360 in the coming months.

The TV guide feature  and voice command integration for UK will also not be available at launch and will be released 'some time in 2014'

Microsoft has confirmed that the UK won't be seeing the Xbox One TV guide feature, better known as Xbox One Guide, this year.
Speaking at an event this week, Xbox Senior Product Manager Terry Farrell told us that the UK won't be getting the Xbox One Guide feature until "some time in 2014".
The feature, which displays TV listings and lets users switch channels and shows by using voice commands, will be available for US users from launch day.
We knew the UK wouldn't be getting the Guide love from the get go, and now we know for sure that Guide won't make its way to British shores until next year.

And according to Sky, Sky Go and Now TV won't be in the 'first wave of TV apps' in Spring either and are slated for a 'Summer 2014' launch instead.

[calapine]

Fifteen minutes of highlights from the twelve hour stream of polygon which you might remember got $750,000 from Microsoft.  Lot of cognitive dissonance between their ratings (including giving the actual consoles ratings which is borderline retarded) and what they actually experience.

Moderator A: "You don't have to yell"
Moderator B: "Xbox doesn't hear very well"

 

[calapine]

Moderator male: "Xbox!"
Moderator female: "ehh"
Moderator male: *whispers* "Shhh! Don't chat real quick. I am talking to Xbox"
Moderator female: *whispers* "ok....Sorry"
Moderator male: *whispers very softly* "Shh"

Oh god, I am literally laughing all through this. So funny.  

Edit: It get's better:

Moderator male 1: "Soo..... *Xbox menu screen pops up* XBox stop listening!"
Moderate female: "Why did it do that?"
Moderator male 1: *mumbling* "I don't know"
Moderator male 2: "Stop listening Xbox! Stop listening"
Moderator female: *turns towards mod 2* *whispers* "It's always listening"

"Xbox - It's always listening" 

I am not a console buyer anyway, but that creepy thing is not getting in my house, even if it was free.  

[Paelos]

Xbox just wants to be your friend...


and report on all your buying habits and personal thoughts.

[Fabricated]

Can some company pay F13 $750,000 for a documentary?

*snap zoom to a scowling jew, smoking newports while on the phone with GoDaddy*

*Meanwhile, a blindingly white midwestern college student with $100 to his name farms porings on his pirate Ragnarok Online server instead of scanning divorce files at his job as a legal intern*

"That's when I knew we were on to something big."

[light jazz music]

^{*apologies to schild in advance for suggesting he smoked newports}

[rk47]

'HE BOUGHT WHAT?!"
*furious typing*
"OH THAT DOES IT! HE SAYS HEX!"
*FURIOUS CLICKING followed by unscrewing of mountain dew cap to take a swig*
*BURP*

[Mithas]

I read somewhere today that if you turn the Xbox off you can't watch TV anymore...is that correct? Is this thing hooked up in such a way to make that impossible? Always listening because it is always on!

[Miasma]

The xbox has an hdmi pass through port, if you decide to hook your cable box up to it instead of directly to the TV then you can't watch TV without the xbox being powered on, that is correct.  It does not seem to have a passive hardware method to just send the signal through, xbox is decoding it so that it can do its overlay and "snap" stuff.

Using the hdmi pass through also strips out surround sound and apparently changes the image by forcing it through a shaprness filter and crushing blacks.  That might be fixed at some point.

[Paelos]

The XBONE is now doing their best to present these features on every NFL game. YOU CAN SKYPE AND TV AND NFL AT ONCE OMG BUY IT DON'T ASK WHY!

[calapine]

Not new news, but I think this is a good time to bring it up:

Microsoft has filed for a Kinect-related patent, and it’s a doozy of an application. The abstract describes a camera-based system that would monitor the number of viewers in a room and check to see if the number of occupants exceeded a certain threshold set by the content provider. If there are too many warm bodies present, the device owner would be prompted to purchase a license for a greater number of viewers.

The patent’s various claims can endow a device with a limited number of performances in a given period of time, a limited number of users allowed to view such performances, and the continuous monitoring of viewers during those performances. It also covers the determination of “when performance of the content to an identified user exceeds a threshold.”

and, not less creepy:

In a recently-published patent, the Kinect camera would monitor that users are dutifully watching TV programming or advertising all the way through, incentivising them for doing so with rewards like money-off coupons or online virtual goods.

Be a good boy, watch the commercial and you get a carrot!

Exerpt of patent 1:


I am willing to bet they'll implement this as soon as a market study tells them they can get away with it without too much backlash.

[Paelos]

The newest generation of tech users do not give a shit about their privacy. This is well documented.

[KallDrexx]

Just because it's patented doesn't mean it'll be implemented.  For example, Sony's patents about using voice commands to end commercials:

[Falconeer]

I broke down the opposite way of what "breaking down" usually means and canceled my PS4 preorder. I will get one soon, but considering how little there is out there for me at the moment it would just collect dust for at least 6 months while spending "warranty days" for nothing. I'll get it with the Japanese in February, I guess.

[Paelos]

That was my plan as well, but after tax season. Now? I'm not sure I even want to bother.

[UnSub]

Microsoft paid polygon $750,000 to make a documentary about... polygon.

That is totally not meant to influence their feelings about xbox at all.  It's for the entirely legitimate purpose of shitting out 90 minutes worth of self shot video about themselves.

"Press Reset" has moments of unintended hilarity. Like when they talk up the depth of their interview coverage, but the one they focus on is about a composer who lives on the same street as Russ Pitts.

[Surlyboi]

I broke down the opposite way of what "breaking down" usually means and canceled my PS4 preorder. I will get one soon, but considering how little there is out there for me at the moment it would just collect dust for at least 6 months while spending "warranty days" for nothing. I'll get it with the Japanese in February, I guess.

This. I'll get one of each eventually, but right now all the "killer" games are months out. The only reason to get either now would be to play BF4 on something that doesn't shit the bed when stuff gets hairy and my Macbook Pro handles that job quite well.

[Miasma]

I don't know how the PC version of BF4 is doing but both consoles are so buggy and unstable that multiplayer is nigh impossible.  Typical dice release.

In other "next gen" news an EA executive felt the need to apologize for how bad NBA Live 14 is.  I don't follow sports games but by comparison 2k14 is graphically amazing.

Video comparison.

[schild]

Both games look like shit.

[Paelos]

Lebron's still gonna win.