Scarlet Blade, the future of microtransactions (NSFW)

[rk47]

This game reminds me of Lineage 2 Reskin.
Bind Social Actions like Sit down, Greeting n Cheer...
Click to move is there.
It's pretty straightforward - auto pilot here, bash 5 beetles - we'll see if it gets interesting or not.

Yes, I mentioned it before. I'm a medic.

[HaemishM]

Story? It can't be that hard to write "Plumber knocks on door, hot chick answers in a nighty but can't pay, deal-making ensues BOWCHICKABOWBOW."

[Bzalthek]

I got an RG Punisher and FK Whipper on Valk.  Lemme know if we do anything, ironically or not.

[schild]

Guys. Guys. I don't know if you know it, but rk47 is a medic.

[Samprimary]

I just want to know what the conversation was that led to this.

Bob:  Sooooooo.... we got naked chicks fighting shit.  What else?
Bill:  What about mechs, mechs are awesome!
Bob: Brilliant!  Get on that.  I want Giant robots fighting shit.  Wait, no!  I want naked chick INSIDE giant robots fighting shit!
Bill:  Well, if we did that, then technically they wouldn't be naked anymore.
Bob: God damn!  You're right!  WAIT!  Just paste them spread eagle on the -front- of the mechs!
Bill: You are my god...

Bob: Men are predictable.
Bill: Yes, yes they are.
Bob: They'll play it for the story.
Bill: Yes, of course.

[Fabricated]

Why not buy one of the like 20 billion actual eroge that exist instead? Are microtransactions desired so you can simulate a couple boring dates first?

[Merusk]

That doesn't give you the out of "I'm playing an MMO" and the ability to dodge the shame you feel enjoying something that's clearly exploitative.

I've got an ass-shaking avatar and playing this for 15 mins last night made ME feel dirty.

[Bzalthek]

How did the next hour make you feel, you dirty whore?

[Merusk]

 

No, it was too terrible even for me.  Bad controls and awful writing (seriously, you guys got me on that one) = uninstalled.

[rk47]

I'm disappoint. 

[Fabricated]

Which is the derpy thing? The thing on the left or the thing on the right?

[rk47]

I believe it's the dead-eyed looking thing she's hugging.
Oh, I got new clothes! Yipeee~!

[Lantyssa]

Guys. Guys. I don't know if you know it, but rk47 is a medic.

Doctor, Doctor, gimmie the news...

[Pennilenko]

Guys. Guys. I don't know if you know it, but rk47 is a medic.

Doctor, Doctor, gimmie the news...

Rk's got a bad case of lovin the boobs...

[Paelos]

We shouldn't encourage this kind of behavior, but it's pretty hilarious. 

[Signe]

I WANT TO HAVE A DERPY PET!!!!  Srsly.  But I don't want to play this game.  Because it's  .

Also, do I want to know what a box of Arkana pleasures are?  Are batteries involved?  Because I don't got none.

[Samprimary]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpwBG2Dtpmk

"I am not exaggerating at all when I say Scarlet Blade is the worst game I have ever played. The worst game that I'm aware of in existence.  And I know some people are going to bring up, like, the classic "ohh, Superman 64 was such a terrible gaaame" that's because mechanically it was broken. The whole thing just didn't work! This game works, but the game working is a persistent world where you objectify women. I would rather be glitching all over the place and falling through floors if that meant I didn't have to witness any more of this game. If right when I loaded up I had fallen through the floor and been like 'ohh, this game's broken, it's pretty bad' at least I wouldn't know what would have happened if it worked."

ahahahahahahha

[taolurker]

That video was on page 2.

[Samprimary]

i know, I just relinked it because I wanted to quote from it

he is mad the game was functional enough to have to play to review

[Nevermore]

I believe it's the dead-eyed looking thing she's hugging.
Oh, I got new clothes! Yipeee~!

You're wearing clothes?

[Signe]

I believe it's the dead-eyed looking thing she's hugging.
Oh, I got new clothes! Yipeee~!

You're wearing clothes?

I know!?!  I thought the point of this game was to NOT wear clothes.  I think he might be actually PLAYING the game.  Masochist?  Or brain tumour?    In either case, I added him to my dead list.  There was room since Maggie Thatcher died.

[Engels]

So this game is basically a game where you start off clothed and as you level up you get to take off progressively more clothing? Sorta strip poker but with robots and dead-eyed derp pets?

[K9]

Does it have twitch combat?

[Paelos]

Does it have twitch combat?

It has revolutionary new Fap combat.

[Ratman_tf]

So this game is basically a game where you start off clothed and as you level up you get to take off progressively more clothing? Sorta strip poker but with robots and dead-eyed derp pets?

Actually you start out with boring underwear. The first armor set is pretty pervy, but later upgrades actually start putting clothes on.

The underwear thing is you unlock your starter lingerie, to upgrade frillies with better stats, but you still want to wear your armor over it for stats.

This game could be a lot more pandering. For example, the box of Arkana Pleasures is simply a random powerup. *HO HUM*

Second Life beats the fuck out of Scarlet Blade for creepy.

[K9]

Does it have twitch combat?

It has revolutionary new Fap combat.

I'm sold

[Kail]

This game could be a lot more pandering. For example, the box of Arkana Pleasures is simply a random powerup. *HO HUM*

I dunno, I gave it a few minutes last night, and it seemed pretty spot on.  Kind of refreshing in a weird way, to find an MMO that doesn't hide this stuff, just puts it all out there to see, like looking at a glass watch or something.

As was mentioned above, you aren't actually playing as a hot chick, you're playing as a Commander who's remote controlling a hot chick from the safety of his armchair somewhere.  Somewhat like the player in real life, you might cynically note.  And the hot chick has conversations with you, the player, where she talks about how she's slowly coming to like you despite how creepily you keep staring at her ass and so on, so maybe if you play just a biiiiit longer, she might really like you... just a little bit longer...

IIRC the first character you talk to after character creation tells you that your first mission will showcase your skills as a Commander, "skills which the Arkana are biologically predisposed to notice".  So, yes.  While in real life, having long conversations with women about your high level Orc Warlock is going to end with you sitting across from an empty chair, in this game, that kind of talk gets the girls all wet and panting.  They just can't help themselves.  If only you were better at this game, you might have a girlfriend like this!

I mean, holy shit.  The people writing this game set a target and they fucking went after it, wow.  I haven't seen a game this blatant with it's manipulation since the Good Old Days of MMORPGs before all the players knew what operant conditioning was.

[Bzalthek]

Fuck you!  She loves me!  She really does!

[rk47]

Im a doktorr she is mein medik

[rk47]

I got an RG Punisher and FK Whipper on Valk.  Lemme know if we do anything, ironically or not.

gimme ur in game nick so i can add u to allies

[Signe]

Do you two have a safe word?

[Bzalthek]

Yes, it's "Signe"

RK, Bzyra is the Punisher, which is what I'll prolly be on.

[Signe]

 

[Ratman_tf]

I thought my characters were on valk, but they're all on Andromeda. 

[rk47]

you lucky sonuvabitch