Scarlet Blade, the future of microtransactions (NSFW)

[Merusk]

Yes. This should be awesome.

[schild]

So, you gonna spend the money to be nude? If so, this could be funny. Finish Surgeon Simulator first though.

[rk47]

You gotta pay me to get naked, schild.

[schild]

I was trying to log in as I thought I had a bunch of Free AP on the Aeria Platform. Of course, their shit is totally broken because the company is awful.

edit: (My AP thing says ERROR and when I click on it my session ends. OH WELL)

[rk47]

So many choices - what to play as?

[luckton]

Good lord...the beltway media would loose their shit if this game got too popular 

[Signe]

Sentinel, because it looks like a little girl and when people can be male characters, you'll be popular and get ERP'd by everyone.  I'll chip in a fiver for the nude thing.  This is probably the game where you could start "Bat Cuntry" and get away with it.

[Bzalthek]

Youtube title came from left field.  Now I have to explain what is funny without being a misogynist.

I also vote for the Sentinel because a) lolicon magnet and b) most annoying voice over amongst them.

Runner up would be the healer because "shoulders the responsibility of the lives of her entire party"  *must check to make sure shoes are clean!*

[Ratman_tf]

Suddenly the thread became epic.

[Bzalthek]

....sigh

[Hoax]

So many choices - what to play as?

Make sure you role Royal Guard on Valk. You want to roll:

-Medic, if you want to feel wanted, the way the game is set up every group of five is best served to have 2 medics so there are never ever enough of them for anything.
-Defender, if you want to be a giant amazon who gets high scores in BG's no matter how hard you suck. Also skillset most suited for the types of pvp there are.
-Whipper, aoe bombs, best pve class.

You can go Sent or Punisher but they really aren't that good. The loli is probably a little stronger since she gets more aoe and I think her abilities cost less sp.

[jakonovski]

What's up with the titty mechs?

[Pennilenko]

What's up with the titty mechs?

I am assuming they have everything to do with a superior understanding of their market.

[Signe]

Yeah, I'm not sure what those mech things are, either.  They don't have a chair so I'm not entirely sure how the girlies are staying up there.  I'm probably better off not knowing because even my guesses make me throw up a little in my mouth.   

[Hoax]

What's up with the titty mechs?

They are awkwardly implemented in that you can't really customize your controls for them effectively but they are one of the better parts of the game. You have a third bar (CP) that you spend to use the mech which gives you a handful of powerful abilities or you can spend CP in pvp to activate your pvp armor which gives you a bunch of bonuses versus other players.

[Bzalthek]

I just want to know what the conversation was that led to this.

Bob:  Sooooooo.... we got naked chicks fighting shit.  What else?
Bill:  What about mechs, mechs are awesome!
Bob: Brilliant!  Get on that.  I want Giant robots fighting shit.  Wait, no!  I want naked chick INSIDE giant robots fighting shit!
Bill:  Well, if we did that, then technically they wouldn't be naked anymore.
Bob: God damn!  You're right!  WAIT!  Just paste them spread eagle on the -front- of the mechs!
Bill: You are my god...

[Ratman_tf]

....sigh

What have I done?

[Trippy]

What's up with the titty mechs?

They remind me of these things:

http://warhammer40k.wikia.com/wiki/Penitent_Engine

[Ratman_tf]

What's up with the titty mechs?

I am assuming they have everything to do with a superior understanding of their market.

Ok, I realize this is utter bullshit crafted around titty mechs but...

From what I've got out of the lore and text is that the Arkana, the characters, are bioengineered warriors created to save humanity from the evil alien dudes who were invading. Only the female body was compatible with the bullshittium treatment, so they're all women. The reistance failed, but a cache of the warriors were hidden away to reclaim the earth after the invaders got bored and left.
The invaders got bored and left, and now the underground humans are sending out the Arkana to reclaim the twisted earth, full of strange monsters mutated from the aliens.
When they went active, the Arkana discovered that they had powers that even their designers didn't realize. Called Chakra power, they can do magic shit. Now, some of the Arkana went rogue (The 'evil' faction) so each 'loyal' Arkana is assigned a Commander (The player) to monitor them and make sure they don't get out of hand.

Now, this next stuff is partly my own interpretation, but so far the game fiction is bearing it out.
The Arkana aren't thought to be really human, and humanity has gotten downright sexist and assholish in order to survive. So they dress the Arkana up in ridiculous costumes because they can, because it's titilating, and because they want to remind them that they're not fully human. They exist to serve humanity, not be human. So between the sexism, humiliation, and the way the Chakra magic works (Sexily, of course) we get titty bondage mechs.

I have probably become too fascinated with this game, but I'm not above being a pervy nerdman. Plus I'm playing it ironically.  

[MediumHigh]

If you watch poirn this game shouldn't offend you... though not playing in exchange for porn sounds more fun (and satisfying).

[IainC]

If you watch poirn this game shouldn't offend you... though not playing in exchange for porn sounds more fun (and satisfying).

I'm pretty sure it's possible to appreciate naked porny ladies and to also be offended by the awful messages that this game sends out.

[schild]

If you watch poirn this game shouldn't offend you... though not playing in exchange for porn sounds more fun (and satisfying).

I'm pretty sure it's possible to appreciate naked porny ladies and to also be offended by the awful messages that this game sends out.

I've never been a fan of saying games send out awful messages. Unless that awful message is that "people are predictable and awful." In which case, yea, I jive with that. Pretty sure that's not what you were getting at.

[Bzalthek]

Something about patriarchy I'm sure.

[Evildrider]

Wow... some of you are actually investing time into this?   

[Bzalthek]

I wouldn't say investing...

Well RK probably is, but in his defense he's insane to begin with.

[Ratman_tf]

Wow... some of you are actually investing time into this?   

It's got a better storyline than WoW.

Not that that bar is set very high.

[Hoax]

Wow... some of you are actually investing time into this?   

It's got a better storyline than WoW.

Not that that bar is set very high.

As I said way upthread I couldn't tell if the huge well animated tits on the npc's kept me reading the text or the joy of taking a break from the bland horrible gameplay kept me reading the text but damn if I couldn't trick myself into thinking something similar. Its certainly better storyline than Rift and Tera.

[Ratman_tf]

Healing on the medic is painful. Is there any way to bring up an ally/team panel?

I love how the heal spell fluff text says it "Toggles your Aegis Cannon to heal mode." So I figure I press that button and then shoot my teammates. But it's just fluff text, and that button is the heal spell. 

[Bzalthek]

You know, I'm actually kinda digging the dialogue and quest text shit.  It's not half bad even if it is just pretext for collect 12 bear asses.

[Father mike]

You know, I'm actually kinda digging the dialogue and quest text shit.  It's not half bad even if it is just pretext for collect 12 bear bare asses.

[rk47]

You know, I'm actually kinda digging the dialogue and quest text shit.  It's not half bad even if it is just pretext for collect 12 bear asses.

I assume everyone is on Valk server?
Look me up, I'm a medic IGN  - Fortyseven

Let's start a bat cuntry

[rk47]

If you watch poirn this game shouldn't offend you... though not playing in exchange for porn sounds more fun (and satisfying).

I'm pretty sure it's possible to appreciate naked porny ladies and to also be offended by the awful messages that this game sends out.

[SurfD]

You know, I'm actually kinda digging the dialogue and quest text shit.  It's not half bad even if it is just pretext for collect 12 bear bare asses.

Not to mention that not having to actually LOOT stuff seems to speed shit up immensely.  And the auto-walk to objective feature is kind of neat.

[PalmTrees]

As for the story. they got incredibly lazy as the two factions with opposing views have the exact same story.  Find and replace one faction name with the other and that's it. Same story, same quests, same zones.

[schild]

I'm taking a stab in the dark here, but given the content I think they wouldve used a font like wing dings but called wing dongs if they could've.  Just sayin, I don't think story was a top priority.