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Author Topic: You can't make this shit up...  (Read 39741 times)
Der Helm
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Reply #105 on: November 14, 2012, 02:11:30 AM



Highlights of this night in chronological order.

22:05 Guests check in, visible strong alcohol in their luggage (2 persons, 1 bottle of Jack Daniels, 1 bottle of semi-cheap vodka, softdrinks), Guests are informed that , while drinking in the room is  tolerated, it is not encouraged and that too much noise during the night time can and will get you evicted, as does smoking in the rooms. Nods and understanding all around.

A few hours pass, we do 2 rounds through the house per hour, nothing important comes up, this should be a quite night, right ?
Wrong.
02:30
Above mentioned guests are way to loud, loud music, loud talking, yelling and laughing. When they are informed about this, they seem to be pretty drunk (which was to be expected) but they apologize and promise to go to sleep soon.
03:00
They are still too loud,  final warning is issued.
03:30
After about an hour of peace, the party seems to have restarted, shift leader tells me go throw these clowns out of the hotel. Since by now those guys are so drunk they have seem to have lost the grasp on their first and second languages, it takes me about 30 minutes to convince the last guy who is semi-understandable that yes, they are too loud, yes, they have to leave the hotel right now, YES, I have the authority to evict them, AND WHO THE FUCK IS THAT THIRD GUY IN YOUR ROOM (it was a twin room). They get 30 minutes to pack their stuff and leave.
2 guys are by now so drunk they don't react at all, 3rd guy comes down to the reception and tries to talk to the shift leader, who by now is pretty angry himself, to no avail.
04:30
Police arrives. I show them to the room. In about 15 minutes 6 more policemen (and 2 very attractive policewomen) arrive at the scene, they are not taken seriously, they don't have any sense of humour, 1 guy gets arrested for resisting,  the other 2 guys leave the premises after a long discussion. Police tells me that those guys told them they got a car in our garage. So I take off to see if I can find that car and to reset the lock on their ex-room so they can't access it (since we forgot to take their keys away before the police sent them away). In the room I notice the sudden absence of 1 of the mattresses.  When I come back to ground level I find said mattress in front of the main entrance.
Apparently one of the guys managed to get back into the hotel unseen before I made it to the room to reset the lock. I probably missed the guy by only a minute or so. So now I have to check the whole hotel to see if this guy is still on the premises or not. 9 floors, 180 rooms, 3 staircases and lots off nooks and crannies were a drunken person could try to find some sleep.
Of course I don't find anybody. Which makes this guy a very lucky person. Because I am very, very angry.

My quantum of solace ?
They have to come back to get their car. The guy who got arrested will face a 200 euro fine for smoking in the room (we can't sell the room for a few days because it has to be cleaned thoroughly, several asmathic and allergic people book us because of our strict no-smoking policy.
And we will inform him that the hotel will press charges for disturbance of the peace, trespassing, malicious injury of property and whatever else my manager can think of. He paid for 3 nights, he won't get his money back. ( ca. 200 Euros)
Best part about this is that there are several huge trade fairs in town this week so he won't be able to get another bed in any hotel here for under 400 Euro per night/person, if at all.

I walked home with a smile on my face.  Oh ho ho ho. Reallllly?

"I've been done enough around here..."- Signe
Paelos
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Error 404: Title not found.


Reply #106 on: November 14, 2012, 08:39:28 AM

Is Jack Daniels popular over there?

CPA, Sports blogger, Mount and Blade enthusiast
Braves by the Numbers, my sports blog
Der Helm
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Reply #107 on: November 14, 2012, 02:16:11 PM

Is Jack Daniels popular over there?
About as popular as Jim and Johnny, they are more or less standard bourbon (they are bourbons, right ?), not the cheapest stuff on the market but not very pricey either. I am not a  big fan of spirits, I only drink them in long-drinks, have yet to find one that I can stand the taste off.

"I've been done enough around here..."- Signe
Paelos
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Error 404: Title not found.


Reply #108 on: November 14, 2012, 02:24:54 PM

Jim and Jack are American corn whiskeys (bourbons). Johnny is scotch.

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Braves by the Numbers, my sports blog
Der Helm
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Reply #109 on: November 14, 2012, 02:27:49 PM

Jim and Jack are American corn whiskeys (bourbons). Johnny is scotch.
One lives and learns.

"I've been done enough around here..."- Signe
Abagadro
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Reply #110 on: November 14, 2012, 03:15:36 PM

Just to be pedantic, Jack is technically a bourbon under trade law but identifies itself as a "tennessee whiskey" because it goes through a  charcoal filter unlike other bourbons.

"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”

-H.L. Mencken
Der Helm
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Reply #111 on: November 14, 2012, 08:25:07 PM

You guys take your schnaps seriously.  ACK!

"I've been done enough around here..."- Signe
Pennilenko
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Reply #112 on: November 14, 2012, 09:24:52 PM

Oh no you didn't!

"See?  All of you are unique.  And special.  Like fucking snowflakes."  -- Signe
Tebonas
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Reply #113 on: November 15, 2012, 01:23:29 AM

Thats mainly the stuff you use to pour into Coke to make it an alcoholic beverage over here. Nobody I know drinks that vile stuff undiluted unless he is tanked enough to knock out his tastebuds, you have quality Irish whiskey for that.  I don't drink Alcohol, but words like "Single Malt" are thrown around on those occasions. awesome, for real
Merusk
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Reply #114 on: November 15, 2012, 06:58:29 AM

You guys take your schnaps seriously.  ACK!

Something about this seemed off and now I know why.

Schnapps are distilled from fruits or have fruit/ sweet essences added to a 'neutral' grain spirit.   Whiskeys (of which Bourbon is one) while distilled from grains don't have anything added when stored. They can be single grain or multiple grain from corn, wheat, barley, rye, and malted rye.  Bourbon is only made in the US of at least 51% corn mash and then aged for at least 2 years in charred oak casks after distilling before being sold.

The more you know.

I can't get past the panties - Alluvian
I really like the cocks. - Lantyssa
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Tebonas
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Reply #115 on: November 15, 2012, 07:55:39 AM

Thats the language barrier though. In German everything over 32% Alcohol can be called Schnaps.

Quod Erat Demonstrandum. We don't take our Schnaps as serious as you.  awesome, for real
Lantyssa
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Reply #116 on: November 15, 2012, 07:59:16 AM

We have an obsession with alcohol since it's almost as taboo as sex.

Hahahaha!  I'm really good at this!
Engels
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Reply #117 on: November 15, 2012, 09:23:22 AM

Germans take beer serious, 'mercuns take our rye serious. And to the US's credit, we've started to make non-horrible beers for the last two decades.

I should get back to nature, too.  You know, like going to a shop for groceries instead of the computer.  Maybe a condo in the woods that doesn't even have a health club or restaurant attached.  Buy a car with only two cup holders or something.

-Signe

I LIKE being bounced around by Tonkors. - Lantyssa

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Der Helm
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Reply #118 on: November 15, 2012, 10:48:17 AM

Thats the language barrier though. In German everything over 32% Alcohol can be called Schnaps.

Quod Erat Demonstrandum. We don't take our Schnaps as serious as you.  awesome, for real
Heh, exactly what I wanted to say.

"I've been done enough around here..."- Signe
Draegan
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Reply #119 on: November 15, 2012, 12:57:59 PM

Is this typically a dangerous job?

My friend's dad owns a hotel and my friend used to work in the front, up until someone pulled a gun on him, made him give up the money and tied him up in the back.  That day he quit.  It's not uncommon from what I underrstand either.

I was at a national sales meeting a few weeks ago and 2 salesmen brought up a girl from the hotel bar to one of their rooms.  She called to get her girlfriend to join, then a big black guy with a gun showed up and demanded money and shot one of them twice (non life threatening he walked out of the hospital the next day).
Draegan
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Reply #120 on: November 15, 2012, 01:02:53 PM

Thats mainly the stuff you use to pour into Coke to make it an alcoholic beverage over here. Nobody I know drinks that vile stuff undiluted unless he is tanked enough to knock out his tastebuds, you have quality Irish whiskey for that.  I don't drink Alcohol, but words like "Single Malt" are thrown around on those occasions. awesome, for real

I drink Jack Daniels straight.  The honey jack is actually quite good for that price level.
Der Helm
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Reply #121 on: November 15, 2012, 02:38:42 PM

I was at a national sales meeting a few weeks ago and 2 salesmen brought up a girl from the hotel bar to one of their rooms.  She called to get her girlfriend to join, then a big black guy with a gun showed up and demanded money and shot one of them twice (non life threatening he walked out of the hospital the next day).
Our fellow men are idiots. News at eleven.

"I've been done enough around here..."- Signe
Merusk
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Reply #122 on: November 15, 2012, 03:12:55 PM

This is where I link the Mandatory.com blog I saw on Lum's page today.  I love it when things coincide.

http://www.mandatory.com/2012/11/13/ok-cupid-an-exploration-into-just-how-low-some-guys-will-go/


I can't get past the panties - Alluvian
I really like the cocks. - Lantyssa
People rarely believe just how good I am at sucking. - Lantyssa
I love the swinging dongs - Signe
Count Nerfedalot
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Reply #123 on: November 15, 2012, 06:26:17 PM

Thats mainly the stuff you use to pour into Coke to make it an alcoholic beverage over here. Nobody I know drinks that vile stuff undiluted unless he is tanked enough to knock out his tastebuds, you have quality Irish whiskey for that.  I don't drink Alcohol, but words like "Single Malt" are thrown around on those occasions. awesome, for real

I drink Jack Daniels straight.  The honey jack is actually quite good for that price level.

ooo, derail alert!

I tried the Honey Jack and the Wild Turkey American Honey side by side and could not tell the difference to save my life.  Which is odd since I despise plain Wild Turkey to the point I would almost rather drink kerosene. I found I could barely even tolerate it in coke!  But both of the honeys are absolutely incredible for soothing the throat or a cough, so I keep a stock of the Wild Turkey minis since I can get them for $1 each instead of stocking cold medicine/cough syrup.  Hmm, now that I think about it the fact that I taste tested them while suffering from the mother of all colds just *might* have impacted the results.

Depending on mood and how long I want it to last I sip my whisky/bourbon/scotch straight, or on the rocks, or in water.  For straight sippin, the best I've found in the world are Balvenie DoubleWood Scotch and Baker's Bourbon (I think that one's like 115 proof  ACK!  Oh ho ho ho. Reallllly?  awesome, for real).  But at $50-60 / 750ml bottle those just don't fit very well in my current budget nor in my desire to avoid getting totally trashed *sadface*.  So I mostly settle for midrange stuff I can dilute with water without feeling like I'm committing sacrilege, like Maker's Mark, the unheard of but excellent Weller's bourbons, or Bushmill's or Jameson's Irish whiskeys when I can find them on sale.

Yes, I know I'm paranoid, but am I paranoid enough?
Kitsune
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Reply #124 on: November 15, 2012, 08:10:13 PM

Of the honey bourbons, I prefer the Wild Turkey to the Jack or the Evan Williams, haven't tried any of the other brands.  I'm hardly a serious drinker, though; I just occasionally sip on drinks, and go for the flavorful stuff rather than use vodka to turn something into 90% rocket fuel.  Alcoholism runs in my family, so I avoid imbibing more than a glass in a night.
Rendakor
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Reply #125 on: November 15, 2012, 08:16:57 PM

This is where I link the Mandatory.com blog I saw on Lum's page today.  I love it when things coincide.

http://www.mandatory.com/2012/11/13/ok-cupid-an-exploration-into-just-how-low-some-guys-will-go/


Wow. Thanks for that.  awesome, for real

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Der Helm
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Reply #126 on: November 15, 2012, 08:22:50 PM

This is where I link the Mandatory.com blog I saw on Lum's page today.  I love it when things coincide.

http://www.mandatory.com/2012/11/13/ok-cupid-an-exploration-into-just-how-low-some-guys-will-go/


Wow. Thanks for that.  awesome, for real
That guy got trolled HARD.  awesome, for real

"I've been done enough around here..."- Signe
Draegan
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Reply #127 on: November 16, 2012, 08:53:32 AM

Of the honey bourbons, I prefer the Wild Turkey to the Jack or the Evan Williams, haven't tried any of the other brands.  I'm hardly a serious drinker, though; I just occasionally sip on drinks, and go for the flavorful stuff rather than use vodka to turn something into 90% rocket fuel.  Alcoholism runs in my family, so I avoid imbibing more than a glass in a night.

I despise Wild Turkey, so I never tried their variant.  Best Irish Whiskey for sipping, imo, is  Powers Gold Label.
Draegan
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Reply #128 on: November 16, 2012, 08:55:16 AM

This is where I link the Mandatory.com blog I saw on Lum's page today.  I love it when things coincide.

http://www.mandatory.com/2012/11/13/ok-cupid-an-exploration-into-just-how-low-some-guys-will-go/


Wow. Thanks for that.  awesome, for real
That guy got trolled HARD.  awesome, for real

Well the problem with that experiment is that most guys will just PM away for random shits and giggles, and most of the time if the chick is cute, who gives a fuck.  I mean when I was on OKCupid, and a girl was responding like that, I would just keep the conversation going and screenshot it for the lulz.
Sir T
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Reply #129 on: January 31, 2013, 02:40:14 PM

Ok, sort of off topic but I didnt figure this was worth a new thread, but it is in "you cant make this shit up" territory

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/01/30/texas-crude-oil-tanks-explode-after-smokers-light-up/

Quote
Officials in Texas say that at least two people were injured on Tuesday after they illegally lit cigarettes on a catwalk over crude oil storage tanks.

Van Zandt County Fire Marshal Chuck Allen told the NBC affiliate in Dallas that at least three of the six 400-barrel fiberglass oil tanks at the facility exploded before 3 a.m. on Tuesday morning.

A 24-year-old man, H.R. Price, and a 24-year-old woman, Brandy Wolfe, later showed up the Van Fire Department seeking treatment for injuries. The man suffered burns to his face, chest and arms. The woman was described as “critically injured.” They were both taken to East Texas Medical Center in Tyler.

Authorities suspected that the couple were trespassing and smoking on the catwalk at the facility when the explosion occurred. Allen said there was very little oil in the tanks at the time of the accident

Hiur hur, no-ne could be that stupid again, right? Wrong. 2 days later.

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/01/31/3-injured-in-san-diego-explosion-after-suspects-light-cigarette-near-hash-oil/

Quote
Three people were seriously injured Wednesday after a container of butane exploded in a San Diego hotel room as two suspects tried to make hash oil out of marijuana, police told The Associated Press.

Although hotel room explosions are usually association with making methamphetamines, they can happen any time an accellerant is improperly used, such as in the production of hash oil, a form of marijuana that is super-concentrated in liquid form, with roughly one drop equaling the amount of THC in a lower-potency joint.

Following Wednesday’s blast, police said they found butane canisters that had apparently been ignited by a cigarette. The accellerant is used to extract THC from portions of the marijuana plant not usually smoked, then cooked off over a stove, leaving behind a viscus, tar-like residue.

The two suspects are both around 20 years old, officials said. A man in an adjacent room was also severely injured and suffered burns over most of his body.

Though rare, a similar incident occurred in Roseburg, Oregon in July, where three people were seriously injured after a hotel room was destroyed when hash oil extraction went wrong.

Cigarettes and oil/gas don't mix, m'kay?

"I think its pretty troubling when a backyard decoration comes out swinging harder against Nazis than the President of the United States." Stephen Colbert
Merusk
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Reply #130 on: January 31, 2013, 02:42:44 PM

The amount of times I've seen people at fuel pumps with a cigarette dangling off their lip would amaze you.  I don't see it as often now that I fuel up at 6:30am but during college I saw someone at least once a month.

I can't get past the panties - Alluvian
I really like the cocks. - Lantyssa
People rarely believe just how good I am at sucking. - Lantyssa
I love the swinging dongs - Signe
Pennilenko
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Reply #131 on: January 31, 2013, 04:27:33 PM

The amount of times I've seen people at fuel pumps with a cigarette dangling off their lip would amaze you.  I don't see it as often now that I fuel up at 6:30am but during college I saw someone at least once a month.

A cigarette isn't hot enough to ignite fuel vapors, however the lighter flame to light the cigarette will do so easily.

"See?  All of you are unique.  And special.  Like fucking snowflakes."  -- Signe
Jimbo
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Reply #132 on: February 01, 2013, 10:19:40 PM


That is how I ended Christmas Eve. Wow I am slacking on all the stuff that has happened.

I was working 24 December, when the Indiana Poison Control called, telling me that a lady would probably bring in a live or dead bat for me. They had contacted the State Board of Health Doctor, and she said that she wants to do an exam on the live or dead bat. Problem is, it is Christmas, so no one is open that handles this crap. So animal control is closed in our county and won't open for 3 days, health department is closed in Terre Haute (where I'm at) and in Indianapolis (where the doc is who wants the bat), so it is us and the police department. Police were like sure we will kill it, but we are not keeping it in the evidence locker. So I called the coroner, told him what was going on, and he said (thank God), "sure, put the bat in one of the coolers, it will die, but that won't matter for the rabies exam." So the little bitty bat is in this big ass cooler, which the person didn't want back. So we didn't mess with it, named it "Eve" for Christmas Eve, and put it in the morgue. What had happened was the lady had woken up and seen a bat in the corner of her room. She was visiting, did not see any bite marks on her, and her and her friends wacked the bat with a broom and put it in the tub above. They said it was pretty stunned when they dumped it in a box, then the box in the tub, then taped (yeah I know, over kill). Anyway, they called poison control, poison control called health department, and the Health Doc told them what to do.  So off to my hospital they go :) We did get the bat up to Indy via a health department runner when it opened back up and I must say, the Public Health Doctor was very pleasant and helpful. The patient was very understanding too, she declined to have an exam, but did take instructions on what to do and who to follow up with if things did progress and how to check with the state health department on the status of the rabies exam.

I joke a lot that "I wear a bunch of different hats and I am a herder of cats." This time I was a bat wrangler.

Lantyssa
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Reply #133 on: February 02, 2013, 08:34:11 AM

Poor bat.  sad

Hahahaha!  I'm really good at this!
Paelos
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Error 404: Title not found.


Reply #134 on: February 02, 2013, 08:36:00 AM

I knew that people would feel bad for the bat when he posted it.

Bats are evil.

PS - I'm terrified of bats.
« Last Edit: February 02, 2013, 08:39:09 AM by Paelos »

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Lantyssa
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Reply #135 on: February 02, 2013, 08:45:43 AM

I love the creepy crawlies (and fliers) of the world.  Except roaches.  They can all die in a conflagration.

Yeah the woman was probably overreacting, but I can't really blame her for being cautious since rabies isn't something to mess around with.  I still feel bad for the bat though.

Hahahaha!  I'm really good at this!
apocrypha
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Planes? Shit, I'm terrified to get in my car now!


Reply #136 on: February 02, 2013, 09:13:05 AM

Bats are awesome, not evil. Mind you, we don't have rabies here in the UK.

"Bourgeois society stands at the crossroads, either transition to socialism or regression into barbarism" - Rosa Luxemburg, 1915.
Jimbo
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Reply #137 on: February 02, 2013, 10:46:44 AM

Bats are awesome, not evil. Mind you, we don't have rabies here in the UK.

Lucky you, we have it in wild animals, bats being one of the prime vectors for it. It is still very rare, here is a chart showing how many we have found. http://www.in.gov/isdh/20518.htm Even though they found a rabid dog in 1989, the last dog bite that gave a human rabies was 1946.

I always chuckle when I have a person come in and tell me they were bitten by a "cotton mouth" and need rabies shots. I usually describe our brown water snake and how fucking mean they are ( http://www.in.gov/dnr/files/snakes.pdf ), we have almost no water moccasin's in Indiana. Plus reptiles can't get rabies, need a warm blooded animal.  Oh, watch dirty jobs where Mike Rowe has to help catch and exam them ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVSXH1aDP8A )

It sucks the bat died, over kill, but hey you could be the lucky one that gets rabies from a bat w/out a bite! There was like 5 cases of a someone getting rabies from the bat w/out the bat biting them, something like the bat french kisses you while you sleep. http://www.dhhs.nh.gov/dphs/cdcs/rabies/documents/bats.pdf
Nevermore
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Reply #138 on: February 02, 2013, 11:07:13 AM

Well, water moccasins are common in Florida and if I were bitten by one I'd be a bit more worried about the venom, even though it's rarely actually fatal, than rabies.

And yes, even though they're flying rats I still feel a bit bad for that bat.

Over and out.
Hawkbit
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Reply #139 on: February 02, 2013, 01:03:20 PM

As kids we used to 'play' with the bats around our house.  We'd throw frisbees up in the air at twilight and they'd swoop around them.  Awesome animals. 
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