The Hobbit (2012/2013)

[Abagadro]

The second trilogy is okay. I mean, it is palatable YA lit back when such a thing really wasn't all that marketable so give it a bit of credit.

Hickman is also a very nice dude. He talked to a really dorky 15 year old me for like 20 minutes during a signing.

[Ironwood]

I don't disagree with any of that, but it's not really relevant to the point being made :

Without some serious adulting of the text, a series or movie is ALWAYS going to suck ass.  It's such an immature story, it wouldn't show well.

[Tebonas]

Which trilogy are we talking about anyway?

The first one is standard "Dungeonmaster writes down his campaign" book which is read for the in-jokes and the "oh yes, exactly how it happened in one of our campaigns" and then easily forgotten.

The second one could arguably be made into a passable movie, but I dread all the emo wannabe-Raistlins that franchise would breed and the fangirls that would be in love with him because he is just a "misunderstood unloved man who needs a loving woman and Crysania got what was coming to her, that bitch"

Strike that, better burn any existing copies of the books right now before they can get the Twilight treatment.

[Ironwood]

Cameron and Raistlin were always the more interesting characters anyway and of them only Caramon had any decent development 'cause Raistlin was just a twisted cunt.

It's really, really hard to make Raistlin interesting, in the same way it's hard to do for someone like Drizzt.

Fucking Mary Sue, over the top, munchkin nonsense.

Though I would love to see the fight between him and Fistandantilus.  That could be cool.  Or maybe just turn into the Saruman/Gandalf abortion in Fellowship.

[Ratman_tf]

http://grognardia.blogspot.com/2008/12/scrappy-doo-and-hickman-revolution.html

[Shannow]

I think you should re-read Dragonlance with your adult head on.

It's fairly shite.

You shut your mouth, you dirty nostalgia destroyer.

[Ironwood]

I dare you.  I double dare you Motherfucker.

When you get to the elf hiding in the bushes spying on the dragon disguised as a naked woman, then you'll look back and realise that maybe, just maybe, you enjoyed this at 14 because you could have a swift tug of it.

[rattran]

Can't we get back to the shortcomings of the Hobbit, not your short cumings as a youth?

[Samwise]

Though I would love to see the fight between him and Fistandantilus.  That could be cool.  Or maybe just turn into the Saruman/Gandalf abortion in Fellowship.

That second one.

When Raistlin literally fights his way through all the demons of the Abyss (omg spoilers), it all happens off camera, because the author knew that ten pages of nuking things with fireballs would just come off as pointless wank and detract from the point of the story.

In Peter Jackson's Test of the Twins, that battle would of course be an hour long.   

[shiznitz]

Can't we get back to the shortcomings of the Hobbit, not your short cumings as a youth?

That kind of short coming does not lengthen with age.  It does kind of shrivel, though.

[Ingmar]

In Peter Jackson's Test of the Twins, that battle would of course be an hour long.   

And it would be the best part of the movie, since it wouldn't be bound by the absolutely retarded dialogue, plot, and worldbuilding of the stuff that actually was detailed.

[Ghambit]

I dare you.  I double dare you Motherfucker.

When you get to the elf hiding in the bushes spying on the dragon disguised as a naked woman, then you'll look back and realise that maybe, just maybe, you enjoyed this at 14 because you could have a swift tug of it.

I'm sorry, but that sounds fuckin cool (the first part, not the tuggin part...errr yah).  Way cooler than a furry Hobbit in the bushes starin at an aged, angsty Cate Blanchett in a long, homely gown.  

[Ratman_tf]

In Peter Jackson's Test of the Twins, that battle would of course be an hour long.   

And it would be the best part of the movie, since it wouldn't be bound by the absolutely retarded dialogue, plot, and worldbuilding of the stuff that actually was detailed.

If you can't do a good adaptation, pad the fights out. People pay money to watch that mindless shit. Worked for Transformers! 

[Samwise]

If you can't do a good adaptation, pad the fights out. People pay money to watch that mindless shit. Worked for Transformers! 

 

[Tannhauser]

Ok, I enjoyed the movie but it didn't blow me away.  I knew I was in for a long haul, so I was glad that it kept my interest the whole time.  Jackson hit the points I wanted; singing dwarves, Goblintown, etc. Also had some annoyances; thin Bilbo, Radagast, dwarves get face-rolled by Smaug, lack of Hobbiton scenes.

Where he padded out the movie was mostly OK, he did add some good lines and I really enjoyed the 'Guardians of Middle Earth'.

I may try to find a 3D showing somewhere to see it again.  Probably the only live action Hobbit movie I'll have in my lifetime and I'm OK with it.

[Draegan]

Hey, I like Dragonlance.  The stories are simple but for some reason I always loved the characters in all the different books they were in.  I like that it reads just like a campaign.

[Khaldun]

Er, what's wrong with dwarves getting face-rolled by Smaug given that they got face-rolled by Smaug?

[Ghambit]

Yah that was a pretty spectacular scene as well. smh at that one.   Matter of fact, the entire introductory scene was very well done.

[Jimbo]

It was great!

[Polysorbate80]

Er, what's wrong with dwarves getting face-rolled by Smaug given that they got face-rolled by Smaug?

Yup, and consider Smaug also solos Laketown until Bard gets a spoiler strat

[Merusk]

Bard was twinked.  Effing cheaters.

[Tannhauser]

Er, what's wrong with dwarves getting face-rolled by Smaug given that they got face-rolled by Smaug?

Yup, and consider Smaug also solos Laketown until Bard gets a spoiler strat

Dwarves don't even glance an axeblade off Smaug. I dunno, it was just my immediate thought that the king would die on camera taking some swings.

[Ratman_tf]

Red Letter Media reviews The Hobbit.

http://redlettermedia.com/half-in-the-bag-the-hobbit-an-unexpected-journey/

[Soln]

Saw it.  Was fine.  Don't want to see it again for awhile.  Agree with what everyone is saying.  It was very long, and the 48 fps stuff on 2d was glaring in a couple of ways.  The prosthetic feet and ears showed up badly a few times, but I noticed the light on close up's of hair was spectacular.  Liked all the NZ outdoor scenes. 

[Khaldun]

Er, what's wrong with dwarves getting face-rolled by Smaug given that they got face-rolled by Smaug?

Yup, and consider Smaug also solos Laketown until Bard gets a spoiler strat

Dwarves don't even glance an axeblade off Smaug. I dunno, it was just my immediate thought that the king would die on camera taking some swings.

Except that the king didn't die then, which is actually germane to Thorin's backstory. (In both movie and book, though in the books we don't really find out about that backstory until the LOTR appendices.)

[Sheepherder]

Bard was twinked.  Effing cheaters.

1.0.2 Hotfix:

Ammunition has been given level requirements.

[Soulflame]

Bard was twinked, true, but just as importantly, he was given an exploit strat.

[proudft]

Thrushes are all haxxors.

[RhyssaFireheart]

Saw this on Monday and enjoyed it.  There were several places where I was going "Oh come on now, the book version would have been fine" but none of the changes really bothered me all that much.  I liked how the backstory/sidestory/other events were woven into things.  And while I was wondering a bit about why Radagast had shown up, one line explained it all for me - "He's now calling the Greenwood, Mirkwood".  I must have completely missed that they were the same place, but it does show how the Necromancer's touch was affecting the world.

Plus, the theatre* we went to (the husband went to see "This is 40") was rather cool.  Bistro style with those theatre style chairs and wait service.  Nothing like watching a movie in a comfy recliner with the footrest up and someone bringing you food.  Didn't feel like almost 3 hours at all. :D



* That website is crap. >.<

[Khaldun]

I really just wish we'd scrap every existing multiplex for something like that kind of theater. It's really the only long-term hope for movies as an experience outside the home--make it a genuine *experience*. Going to see a film on a screen that's only about four or five times bigger than your average home large-screen in a dirty multiplex with a bunch of ill-mannered strangers for a high price is really just seeming like, meh, why? It's one of a significant number of things in the culture where the rent-seekers camped on top of it are preventing it from becoming what it needs to be for long-term viability.

[Merusk]

Only 4 or 5 times larger?  You either have a fantastic large-screen or frequent some shitty, shitty theaters.

Also, if all theaters went that way it would only hasten their demise.  We have one that built-out that way locally in 2007. It closed down because nobody wanted to pay the additional $25 on top of the normal ticket price.  It's since reopened as a 'normal' stadium seating theater and has been doing well ever since.

Theaters like that are for major metro areas.  Any city smaller than, say, the top 50 in the US it would be a waste.  Not enough of a community to support it.  Hell, looking at the cities by population and even the top 50 might be overambitious. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_United_States_cities_by_population

[El Gallo]

Very happy with the movie, and that's coming from a cranky nerd who had many more issues with the LotR movies.  Only 2 things I'd change:  

I didn't think the 3d added anything, and detracted a bit.

[Khaldun]

Only 4 or 5 times larger?  You either have a fantastic large-screen or frequent some shitty, shitty theaters.

Also, if all theaters went that way it would only hasten their demise.  We have one that built-out that way locally in 2007. It closed down because nobody wanted to pay the additional $25 on top of the normal ticket price.  It's since reopened as a 'normal' stadium seating theater and has been doing well ever since.

Theaters like that are for major metro areas.  Any city smaller than, say, the top 50 in the US it would be a waste.  Not enough of a community to support it.  Hell, looking at the cities by population and even the top 50 might be overambitious. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_United_States_cities_by_population

There are some theaters near here that are brutally tiny--they subdivided two large screens into one medium screen and four tiny ones at one place on the Main Line, for example. They shunt everything that isn't a first week release into the tiny tiny ones.

I honestly think something like the Alamo Drafthouse would do well in most major metro areas at least.

[Tale]

Seen it in 2D so far. Liked it, despite the things spoilered below. It was crazy long, but if you like the Middle Earth of the first trilogy, you won't mind spending more time in it.

[Fraeg]

Was the first 3-d movie I have ever seen.  for the first 20 minutes or so the 3-d seemed very ham fisted and tacky.  I am guessing my eyes just got used to it because by the end it just seemed normal and only now and then would i go *oooh wow man*.

Pretty much what I expected and what I wanted.  I am more than happy to spend 3 hours in middle earth, Hell.. I would watch Gandalf give gardening tips.   10 bucks for 3 hours in Middle Earth in 3-d, sign me the fuck up.

I have some co-workers who were butt hurt about how long it was, my two cents:  Jackson turned a book meant for kids into a 3 part movie, not only that but the first part is ~3 hours long.... Knowing that, how could you possibly be surprised about how it played out?

This is probably Jackson's last chance to romp through Middle Earth, and he is going to leave no stone unturned. Which makes this guy a very happy camper.