The Hobbit (2012/2013)

[Sheepherder]

Also, the best part of the books?  Gandalf pwning bitches, either figuratively or literally.

[Ironwood]

Bakshi version was on today.

It was shit.  I had forgotten how shit it actually was.

[Johny Cee]

Bakshi version was on today.

It was shit.  I had forgotten how shit it actually was.

That Bakshi included this was one of my favorite bits:

“His arm has grown long indeed,” said Gimli, “if he can draw snow down from the North to trouble us here three hundred leagues away.”

“His arm has grown long,” said Gandalf.

[Lakov_Sanite]

Fucking nerds...

[Ironwood]

Bakshi version was on today.

It was shit.  I had forgotten how shit it actually was.

That Bakshi included this was one of my favorite bits:

“His arm has grown long indeed,” said Gimli, “if he can draw snow down from the North to trouble us here three hundred leagues away.”

“His arm has grown long,” said Gandalf.

His trouble was that he took wholesale quotes from the books entirely out of context, like Boromir screaming 'What is all this talk of destroying this ring' when no-one has actually mentioned destroying it at all.  It was a fucking carpet bag of a movie, stitched together with 'bits' of the books that actually make no sense unless you've read them.  You'd be amazed what your own nerd memory has stitched into the movie.  Try watching it again with the nerd filter off and you realise it's an utter fucking turkey.

Further, Sir Limps a Lot Gimp the Nazgul at the start was just fucking PAINFUL.

[MahrinSkel]

Actual conversation between me and my stepson:

"Dave, that sword you've got in the box in the basement, is that Frodo's sword from LOTR?"

"It's Sting, *Bilbo's* sword that he loaned to Frodo."

"Oh, come on Dave, he gave it to Frodo and didn't want it back.  You're such a nerd."

"I hate to break it to you, but you have an opinion about a Tolkien controversy.  Face it, you're just as much of a nerd as I am."

Anyway, to anyone who was introduced to Fantasy by reading The Hobbit as a young child (6 years old in my case), going to this movie is mandatory even if it sucks.  And Sting will always be Bilbo's sword.

--Dave

[Sheepherder]

His trouble was that he took wholesale quotes from the books entirely out of context

[Johny Cee]

Bakshi version was on today.

It was shit.  I had forgotten how shit it actually was.

That Bakshi included this was one of my favorite bits:

“His arm has grown long indeed,” said Gimli, “if he can draw snow down from the North to trouble us here three hundred leagues away.”

“His arm has grown long,” said Gandalf.

His trouble was that he took wholesale quotes from the books entirely out of context, like Boromir screaming 'What is all this talk of destroying this ring' when no-one has actually mentioned destroying it at all.  It was a fucking carpet bag of a movie, stitched together with 'bits' of the books that actually make no sense unless you've read them.  You'd be amazed what your own nerd memory has stitched into the movie.  Try watching it again with the nerd filter off and you realise it's an utter fucking turkey.

Further, Sir Limps a Lot Gimp the Nazgul at the start was just fucking PAINFUL.

Umm.  I never said it worked as a complete film, or that it was particularly good.  Bakshi definitely had some great scenes mixed in, but you could tell he had to throw together a movie when his funding ran out.  And there were some terrible decisions... the rotoscoping thing for orcs/Nazgul, Sam was awful, etc.

I think Jackson really benefited from Bakshi's attempts to adapt the first 1.5 books to screen.  He got to see what might work, and what was clownshoes.  Skipping Bombadil, replacing Glorfindel with a recurring character, etc.

[Ratman_tf]

Which is a shame, because when the films were following Tolkien (and Bakshi's version) they were sometimes very good, but when making up their own stuff, (Oh noes! Aragorn fell off a cliff!)  it got pretty retarted. And in order to flesh out the appendix material, they're gonna have to make up a lot of shit.

Ah, there we are, now that you've reminded me of that I can feel the old bile returning.  Thank you for that; it really unsettles me to feel optimistic about things.

I live to serve. 

[UnSub]

In an attempt to destroy any credibility I have here: I like The Hobbit a lot more than I like The Lord of the Rings as novels. The Hobbit is a story; The Lord of the Rings is a rambling travelogue.

Also: Jackson did a great job on the films.

Interested to see this take on The Hobbit as well, although I dread the return of the "My Precious!" meme.

[lamaros]

Apart from "great job" you're spot on.

[Sheepherder]

In an attempt to destroy any credibility I have here: Jackson did a great job on the films.

Also:  I like The Hobbit a lot more than I like The Lord of the Rings as novels. The Hobbit is a story; The Lord of the Rings is a rambling travelogue.

Fixed.

[Teleku]

I guess its because I didn't read the hobbit till I was much older than most of you, but I enjoyed Lord of the Rings much more.  I still liked it, but when reading it, I felt like I was reading a childish kids novel with a bunch of bumbling Disney characters, all of whom (including Gandalf) were nothing but slapstick comic relief (until the very end where it suddenly got serious).  Still a fun little story, but it felt shallow when I read it at the time.  I moved right on to the LoTR trilogy right after, and they still to this day remain some of my favorite novels.

Then again, I'm the guy who also loves the Silmarillion, so there's that.   

[Morat20]

Books are books. Movies are movies. They are entirely different things. Making one into the other requires a lot of interpretation.

If you are very, very, very lucky the schmuck that wrote the book wrote in a particularly cinematic style that converts without a lot of smashing away at bits. But mostly you are not. Which is why conversions tend to be really awful unless massive liberties are taken.

I try to view book versions of movies and movie versions of books as alternate universe things where everything is just a bit different.

It means less nerd-rage and I can enjoy a good movie or a good book without being contaiminated by the other's existance. It also means I can drop-kick a flaming pile of shit away rather than convince myself it was the best thing ever just because I loved the book/movie it was based on.

That said, Jackson did a pretty good job of adaptation. Well enough to satisfy a massive audience that wasn't LoTR fans, only piss off the truly die hard fans who -- for the most part -- would only be happy with their own, personal movie versions -- and wone some Oscars. Oh, and it was a movie about orcs and swords and shit with a wizard who never cast fireball on anything.

Which makes most people wonder why the fuck he called himself a wizard.

[Sheepherder]

If you are very, very, very lucky the schmuck that wrote the book wrote in a particularly cinematic style that converts without a lot of smashing away at bits. But mostly you are not. Which is why conversions tend to be really awful unless massive liberties are taken.

Also, sometimes you graft in your own retarded bits because you're far too enamoured of your own skill, and because you're the director nobody can tell you to fuck off with that shit because it's terrible.  An extreme example of this is the latest Robin Hood movie.

Oh, and it was a movie about orcs and swords and shit with a wizard who never cast fireball on anything.

Which makes most people wonder why the fuck he called himself a wizard.

 

[Sir T]

That said, Jackson did a pretty good job of adaptation. Well enough to satisfy a massive audience that wasn't LoTR fans, only piss off the truly die hard fans who -- for the most part -- would only be happy with their own, personal movie versions -- and wone some Oscars.

They were succesful movies, but they still sucked. Go have a chat with with the transformers movies if you dont understand that. And its zip to do with nerd rage, its just that they were crap movies. Sorry and all for your theory, but the Fellowship rode roughshot over the book and I still loved it because it was a good movie. The other 2 movies bored the shit out of me and might as well have had cardbord cutouts on the screen.

Anyway, I was actually thinking today and I was shocked when I realized that I've only read The Hobbit once, and that was nigh on 20 years ago. I really should reread it or be in danger of handing in my nerd card.

[Ratman_tf]

Shit. the Star Wars prequels made bank and won awards.

[Margalis]

In an attempt to destroy any credibility I have here: I like The Hobbit a lot more than I like The Lord of the Rings as novels.

The Hobbit is better, yes.

Also: Jackson did a great job on the films.

Overlong self-indulgent CGI wankfests with horrible acting, directing, editing and pacing. Other than that great job!

To make it clear my objection is exactly 0% that the movies did not match the books and 100% that they are just bad movies. It has nothing to do with nerd rage, as movies they are just terrible. ROTK is amazingly dull - an elf surfing down the CGI trunk of a goofy monster does not a compelling movie make.

The LOTR movies have all the same problems King Kong has. (But at least KK has Naomi Watts) People just give them a pass because it's LOTR I guess. In both cases things like acting, writing and character development are pushed aside in favor of extended boring CGI insect / dinosaur / Orc / ghost battles.

[UnSub]

In an attempt to destroy any credibility I have here: Jackson did a great job on the films.

Also:  I like The Hobbit a lot more than I like The Lord of the Rings as novels. The Hobbit is a story; The Lord of the Rings is a rambling travelogue.

Fixed.

Either way, Mission Accomplished. 

[Ratman_tf]

To make it clear my objection is exactly 0% that the movies did not match the books and 100% that they are just bad movies. It has nothing to do with nerd rage, as movies they are just terrible. ROTK is amazingly dull - an elf surfing down the CGI trunk of a goofy monster does not a compelling movie make.

Now, now. Either you agree that the Jackson movies were orgasmic, or you're a neckbeard who thinks that Tom Bombadil should have taken up all of the first movie.

[Samwise]

To make it clear my objection is exactly 0% that the movies did not match the books and 100% that they are just bad movies. It has nothing to do with nerd rage, as movies they are just terrible. ROTK is amazingly dull - an elf surfing down the CGI trunk of a goofy monster does not a compelling movie make.

Now, now. Either you agree that the Jackson movies were orgasmic, or you're a neckbeard who thinks that Tom Bombadil should have taken up all of the first movie.

Further, by criticizing a movie at all you're just demonstrating that you have no understanding of the cinematic art form and how difficult it is to tell a story visually while retaining things like plot and characters.

[Ironwood]

 

To pretty much all of you.

[Ratman_tf]

Hey. In my generous moments, I marvel that the movies weren't dumbed down more. With the amount of money dumped into them, I imagine they were a hair's breadth from having Sauron drive a giant seam-powered mechanical spider out of Mordor.

[Pennilenko]

With the amount of money dumped into them, I imagine they were a hair's breadth from having Sauron drive a giant seam-powered mechanical spider out of Mordor.

That would have been amazing!!!

[MuffinMan]

Jon Peters' Lord of the Rings.

[Ratman_tf]

With the amount of money dumped into them, I imagine they were a hair's breadth from having Sauron drive a giant seam-powered mechanical spider out of Mordor.

That would have been amazing!!!

No, amazing would be if Sauron transformed into a giant flying spider that shot laser webs at Gondor.

[Draegan]

I love reading nerd rage and nerd hate on Jackson and the LOTR movies more than I love actually reading the books.

Kind of like EVE.

[Margalis]

Yes, pointing out that a movie has bad acting, bad writing, bad pacing and relies way too much on dull CGI effects is "nerd rage."

[Abagadro]

In this particular context yes it pretty much is (especially since your are wrong).

[Margalis]

No, you are. Nyah nyah!

[Abagadro]

Hey, if you can make categorical statements I can too dammit!

[Samwise]

I think I would quite enjoy seeing Plinkett nitpit the LotR movies.

Part time.

[Ratman_tf]

I think I would quite enjoy seeing Plinkett nitpit the LotR movies.

Part time.

THROW THEM INTO THE NITPIT!

[Samwise]

I don't know how that typo happened, but I like it.

[Sheepherder]

LotR is not a good action movie, I might be able to forgive it if it were.  But I dozed off the first time I saw Fellowship, and I tend to read 600 page novels cover to cover without sleep.