Transformers: Dark of the Moon

[Riggswolfe]

Like there's this one guy who writes utterly serious, dark fiction about silly shit like Gilligan's Island and Fat Albert. The funny/shocking/fascinating part is that it's also really good. If he just changed the names and a few minor details he'd have good original stories about island castaways slowly turning on each other, or a fat guy trying to make it in the hood, or whatever, that no one would think to connect to those shows.

I think I may have read one by this guy. It was creepy but really well written. If memory serves the skipper ended up making Maryann and Ginger his sex slaves and Gilligan became his sort of cackling insane Igor stand-in. The professor was one of the last sane ones left and it ended with a sort of cat and mouse hunt across the island between the professor and the skipper after everyone else was dead.

[WindupAtheist]

Yeah that sounds like the one. I'll just link it for good measure.

Anyway, on topic, there's no such thing as a "guilty pleasure" really. There are only pleasures. If you feel guilty it's because you wish you had better taste than you do, and that's really just your problem.

[naum]

This is one of those movies you have to turn off your brain before watching and just enjoy the eye candy of explosions and giant smashing robots.

Caught a showing last night -- it was entertaining, but I was not expecting _Tree of Life_ or even _Inception_ (or _The Matrix_).

My assessment definitely nowhere near as harsh as this dude:

And who is Michael Bay now? _The Rock_. _Armageddon_. _Pearl Harbor_. _Bad Boys II_. And finally, the _Transformers_ trilogy, his magnum opus – perhaps not only for him but for every man-child, the long expectant Second Coming of Lost Time, as once more we can all be children at play, building things and blowing them up. Going back to that old Strickler review, it's amazing to see how far the critical community has come around on Bay. He is now the antichrist, and not without qualifications. The flirtations between Ben Affleck and Liv Tyler in _Armageddon_, the idiot take on history in _Pearl Habor_, and simply the erotic fetishizing of violence in everything…Michael Bay makes movies for our worst impulses, making the idiot in his collective audience purr. Attending one of his movies is like being caught masturbating – except everyone else in the room is masturbating also. It is –_fantasy_ as _form_. He's succeeded in creating a treasured aesthetic, as the sensibility of 1990s music videos have now become commonplace in action films. Films don't breathe today, so much as they glide down a runway, bullets firing away at the same time. To complete the formula, Bay puts in his sitcom humor, something the folks in the suburbs will find very delightful. Explosions, cheeky laughs, Oscar-nominated actors….more explosions…as the movies are the epitome of glossy fashion, user-friendly models downloadable for fulfillment.

 

[NowhereMan]

While it doesn't totally invalidate his criticisms of Bay, that reviewer is a fucking awful writer.

[HaemishM]

Was it the copious underscores that gave it away? 

That said, he could probably script write for Michael Bay and instantly improve the Baysplosions.

[Ratman_tf]

This is one of those movies you have to turn off your brain before watching and just enjoy the eye candy of explosions and giant smashing robots.

Bay can't even get the explosions and giant smashing robots right. The only thing I can figure about these movies sucesses is that the Nazis didn't go far enough. Make theaters with poision gas vents, advertise "Transformers 3!" and halfway through the movies, start up the gas pumps.

Anyone dumb enough to go see one of these things should be put down before they breed.

[Trippy]

This is one of those movies you have to turn off your brain before watching and just enjoy the eye candy of explosions and giant smashing robots.

Bay can't even get the explosions and giant smashing robots right. The only thing I can figure about these movies sucesses is that the Nazis didn't go far enough. Make theaters with poision gas vents, advertise "Transformers 3!" and halfway through the movies, start up the gas pumps.

Anyone dumb enough to go see one of these things should be put down before they breed.

What?

[Arthur_Parker]

That's a really offensive post for absolutely zero reason.  Even for a stand alone movie that comment is  , but it's the third movie in a series, how about maybe avoiding them?

[WindupAtheist]

$372 million worldwide on a budget of $195 million, and the holiday weekend isn't even over yet in the US.

[Sir T]

[Evildrider]

I thought it was fun.  The plot was meh, but the action sequences were pretty good.  I mean you don't go see Michael Bay films for plot... geez.   

[HaemishM]

$372 million worldwide on a budget of $195 million, and the holiday weekend isn't even over yet in the US.

Did anyone, anywhere, at anytime, including me who thinks the movies have been ultimate shit, ever think that a Transformers sequel WOULDN'T make obscene wodges of cash?

[Abagadro]

It's down in attendance although the 3D enhanced ticket prices is making up the difference.

[taolurker]

recycling special effects

[DraconianOne]

recycling special effects

Oh noes! This must be the first time in the history of EVER that footage from one film has been used in another.

 

[Sir T]

Yeah, next you will be accusing them of using the same Bird of Prey blowing up animation from Star Trek 6 in Star Trek 7.

[Ratman_tf]

That's a really offensive post for absolutely zero reason.  Even for a stand alone movie that comment is  , but it's the third movie in a series, how about maybe avoiding them?

I'm frustrated that the bar for action movies has gone from Die-Hard to Retard. It means less movies that I want to go see. (and I love movies)

[Teleku]

Well, I absolutely hated the first one, and only made it about 10 minutes into the 2nd one before killing it.  However, I've heard good things about this one from a great number of people I know, so it might actually be a lot better than the other two abortions.

[pxib]

ackbar.jpg

[UnSub]

I'm frustrated that the bar for action movies has gone from Die-Hard to Retard. It means less movies that I want to go see. (and I love movies)

We've gone from Die Hard to Die Hard 4.0 in that time.

[murdoc]

Well, I absolutely hated the first one, and only made it about 10 minutes into the 2nd one before killing it.  However, I've heard good things about this one from a great number of people I know, so it might actually be a lot better than the other two abortions.

It's not.

It's loud, obnoxious and WAAAY too long. But I do have to admit, it is by FAR the best application of 3D I have seen in a live action film. Mock Bay's little memo, but the colours were really good and bright and the action was fairly easy to follow and I have had a lot of trouble with that with other 3D movies (or action movies in general lately).

[Merusk]

Not as terrible as I expected, but still left me hollow when it was over. The criticism of Bay fucking "Carlie" with the camera? Totally valid.  I got uncomfortable a few times and thought, "Shit, this is a kid's movie?"

Ironhide needs to avoid appearing in movies with Lenoard Nimoy.  Fucker.

Prime kicks ass, but can't fly for shit.  Decent way to waste half an afternoon if it's on the tube.

[Soulflame]

This movie was uniformly terrible.

It took too long to start, spent too much time on what'shisname's personal life, girlfriend, and efforts to get a job.  The action was passable, but there wasn't enough to make up for the entirely long setup that preceded it.

Bleh.  100% regret seeing it.

[DLRiley]

My sisters one of the best chemistry students in her school, a grad student, and not a video games/cartoons./anime nerd and she enjoyed this movie I hated this movie and my brain really hurts after watching it.

[Ratman_tf]

Final score: Over 1 billion dollars.

[MuffinMan]

It's even coming back for two more weeks.

[tgr]

Friend of mine said the movie was awesome in a 3D cinema, so I decided to take a peek. It gave me a reminder why I generally don't watch action movies anymore.

[Mrbloodworth]

You people are broken.

[Ratman_tf]

Finally broke down and got this on DVD.

I made it as far as the Autobots returning to help the humans, and had to turn it off. I was able to finish Revenge of the Fallen, and that movie was crap. Which I guess makes Dark of the Moon subcrap? If this movie was a meal, I would have stuck my finger down my throat to puke up what I swallowed.