Bench warrants, and how an Italian citizen got in trouble in the USA.

[tgr]

I'd love to see the fallout of a taser to the face for "I'm sure you'll tell me", at least in Norway.

I agree though, it's not the perfect tone. I thought after I posted it that it might be too attitudal, but the base idea of "let them tell you what you did wrong, instead of guessing" is still sound.

[Paelos]

I follow every sentence by sir, look sheepish and confused, and admit to nothing.

I've never gotten a speeding ticket the 4 times I've been pulled over.

[NowhereMan]

Clearly the perfect response would be, "So you could get my phone number?"

[Nerf]

I follow every sentence by sir, look sheepish and confused, and admit to nothing.

I've never gotten a speeding ticket the 4 times I've been pulled over.

Ah, so the trick is to reply to "Do you know why I pulled you over tonight?" with "Because you solved all of the murders, rapes and robberies in such an effective manner that there are no real crimes being committed for you to investigate instead of hiding behind a bush with your radar gun, sir?"

It's so simple, I'll have to give it a shot.

[NiX]

That would be promptly followed by "Please step out of the car."

[tgr]

I like this idea and wish to see it executed. And filmed.

[Bunk]

Thanks so much for the good advices. I'll try not to fuck it up this time. In the meantime, you all know this gem we have to sign before getting into USA, right?

Or are you trying to get into the US to take part to immoral or criminal activities?"

Or point C)

Have you been involved, in the past or now, in sabotaging or espionage, or terroristic activities? Or genocide? Or, between 1933 and 1945, have you been involved, in any way, in the persecutions carried out by nazist Germany or its allies?"

I have been as literal as I could, punctuation included.

Wow. Our version of that going back and forth asks questions about carrying more than $10,000, fresh fruit, or if you came in contact with cows I think.

[Bzalthek]

I follow every sentence by sir, look sheepish and confused, and admit to nothing.

I've never gotten a speeding ticket the 4 times I've been pulled over.

Ah, so the trick is to reply to "Do you know why I pulled you over tonight?" with "Because you solved all of the murders, rapes and robberies in such an effective manner that there are no real crimes being committed for you to investigate instead of hiding behind a bush with your radar gun, sir?"

It's so simple, I'll have to give it a shot.

I think I have achieved a deeper understanding towards some of your more recent posts.

[Strazos]

Wow. Our version of that going back and forth asks questions about carrying more than $10,000, fresh fruit, or if you came in contact with cows I think.

Think that's actually the customs declaration.

[Rasix]

That would be promptly followed by "Please step out of the car."

And a full body cavity search.

[Rendakor]

We're talking about police, not airport security. 

[Furiously]

I might try, "Because my vehicle matches the description of someone who committed a crime recently sir?"

[MahrinSkel]

"You want me to verify my citizenship?"

--Dave

[tgr]

私は、問題の役員と思われるもの、英語理解できないのですか？

[Bunk]

I might try, "Because my vehicle matches the description of someone who committed a crime recently sir?"

Had that happen to me. 1:00 AM heading home from a friends, four cop cars suround us and jump out with guns drawn. They were looking for a red camaro with one headlight leaving a B&E three blocks away. I was driving a red firechicken with one headlight. The cop was right pissed when he realized he had the wrong car and had pulled over a car load of 19 year old nerds.

[WayAbvPar]

Did he ticket you for the headlight? 

[Falconeer]

Next trip scheduled: Florida, Orlando and Jacksonville, in about a month. Any advice on how to break the law and put myself in trouble down there?

[Lantyssa]

Naked male prostitute while smoking weed.

[Lianka]

As a polyamorous pansexual genderqueer I'm sure you'll have no problem getting into trouble in Florida..

[NowhereMan]

As a polyamorous pansexual genderqueer I'm sure you'll have no problem getting into trouble in Florida..

[Teleku]

Yeah, your a 'Eurofag' going to 'the south'.  Your going to have to try pretty hard not to end up in the electric chair.

[Tannhauser]

Tips for a Brown Person in the South as written by a Southerner

1.  Remember if you go south of Gainesville, you are no longer in the South. 
2.  When speaking to locals, work in "Praise Jesus" in every sentence.
3.  If you ask for tea, be prepared for it to be gloriously laden with sugar.
4.  If someone waves at you, wave back.  Unless they are waving a gun.
5.  If someone tells you 'You ain't from around here are ya boy?" you are about to die.
6.  Try not to be so 'uppity'.  If you are, see 5, above.

ALL OF THESE STATES ARE YOURS EXCEPT ALABAMA.  ATTEMPT NO LANDING THERE

[CmdrSlack]

Jacksonville is more Southern than Orlando, but not by much, IMO.

Orlando is resort land. They are used to furrnrs.

[Teleku]

Yeah, I was just making a joke.  I know Florida isn't quite the south in the usual sense that we see it, due to the tourist draw and more multiracial society.  I still like to make fun of it though!

[CmdrSlack]

Yeah, I was just making a joke.  I know Florida isn't quite the south in the usual sense that we see it, due to the tourist draw and more multiracial society.  I still like to make fun of it though!

Aim for the Panhandle. That's still the South. 

[Paelos]

Yeah, I was just making a joke.  I know Florida isn't quite the south in the usual sense that we see it, due to the tourist draw and more multiracial society.  I still like to make fun of it though!

Don't worry, the rest of the South laughs at Florida for even trying to claim they are Southern.

[Falconeer]

As a polyamorous pansexual genderqueer I'm sure you'll have no problem getting into trouble in Florida..

I am goddamn serious. Does having sex in a car counts as sex in public in Florida? Can I get in trouble for that? Does it depend on where the car is parked? And what if the car is moving, like, on route from the airport to downtown Orlando?

[Engels]

Is it beyond reason to wait till you're checked into the motel? If so, well, the I suggest driving up to a retirement community, putting on a turban, nothing else, and run around screaming 'Free Palestine!'. That ought to do the trick.

[Lantyssa]

Yes to all of those.

Until a few years ago, depending on the position and person (assuming consenting adults), you could get nailed in the 'privacy' of your own home.  No sex except in a private residence, with the blinds/shades/curtains drawn.  I'm serious.

Added with new reply: Hotel room is okay, too, but use the Do Not Disturb sign.

[Azazel]

I like this idea and wish to see it executed. And filmed.

Don't taze me, Bro!

I am goddamn serious. Does having sex in a car counts as sex in public in Florida? Can I get in trouble for that? Does it depend on where the car is parked? And what if the car is moving, like, on route from the airport to downtown Orlando?

I like you and all, Falc. But grow some goddamned common sense. Or you'll be having several years of polyamorous pansexual genderqueer encounters in the showers.

Listen to Lantyssa.

[Falconeer]

But but..

Yes to all of those.

even in a moving car? What the fuck!

[Azazel]

Make sure you have one of your friends around to document the arrest, trial, incarceration, and deportation. Not sure if Canada will let you take citizenship either, once you're a Registered Sex Offender, since you seem quite hellbent on getting that particular degree from Con College.
 

[Merusk]

But but..

Yes to all of those.

even in a moving car? What the fuck!

Cars are not private, they are public.  Anything in plain sight is pretty much public and with all the glass that makes a car public. Yes, even with heavily tinted windows.

Lant wasn't kidding about the shade-drawn thing, either.   No pressing the partner up against the glass of the front door and giving 'em a good go then claiming the folks on the street were peeping.

[Falconeer]

I am speechless at the USA.

[Bzalthek]

Yeah, so are most of the non-psycho, non-fundies of us.  Just remember that a good portion of us are repressed, intolerant assholes before you do anything you think -should- be ok.