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Author Topic: Bench warrants, and how an Italian citizen got in trouble in the USA.  (Read 178628 times)
Numtini
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Reply #175 on: November 17, 2010, 05:03:23 AM

Quote
Shit though, a warrant!  I wonder if your picture is gracing the wall of the Ann Arbor main Post Office now?

From the context, if it is they'll have to arrest the postmaster for distributing pornography.  awesome, for real

If you can read this, you're on a board populated by misogynist assholes.
Strazos
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Reply #176 on: November 17, 2010, 04:49:02 PM

That your government isn't going to bat for you is sad.  It happens to us sometimes too, and pisses me off to no end when I hear about it.  If it was me in trouble with the law in Italy you can bet your ass I'd have me a lawyer, and I'd have my Congressman breathing down the Consulate's neck to make sure I had the best support from them possible.  I saw what the Italian legal system did to Amanda Knox after totally botching their evidence collection!   ACK!

Emphasis mine.

Consular officers don't do what you think they do. Ohhhhh, I see.

Fear the Backstab!
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Falconeer
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Reply #177 on: November 18, 2010, 01:59:59 PM

I wasn't happy with the first lawyer, so I have been sending a few emails out. They all say I have to shell out the 1000$ bond as the first thing. Sweet. Then, the most helpful of them all said I should pay her 1500$ to begin the thing, and went on explaining me how and why should I pay her more in case this or that happens.

If you think about it, this is how it went:

"We are gonna take some photos in the Arb. Wanna come?"
"Yeah sure!"

I seriously screwed myself bad.

Soln
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the opportunity for evil is just delicious


Reply #178 on: November 18, 2010, 02:09:54 PM

"We are gonna take some photos in the Arb. Wanna come?"
"Yeah sure!"

Your friends should help. This is more than an inconvenience.  Why can't they shell out a few bucks?  After all, you're expected to deal with all of this from ITALY.
CmdrSlack
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Reply #179 on: November 18, 2010, 02:30:22 PM

I wasn't happy with the first lawyer, so I have been sending a few emails out. They all say I have to shell out the 1000$ bond as the first thing. Sweet. Then, the most helpful of them all said I should pay her 1500$ to begin the thing, and went on explaining me how and why should I pay her more in case this or that happens.

If you think about it, this is how it went:

"We are gonna take some photos in the Arb. Wanna come?"
"Yeah sure!"

I seriously screwed myself bad.


Welcome to paying for an attorney. You're going to want to pay special attention to any retainer you sign. It should give you a detailed version of how your money will be spent. Does the attorney charge a minimum amount of time for handling phone calls and emails? What's the hourly rate? Is any of the retainer considered earned upon payment?

A "give me $1,000 to start" situation can turn into, "You've exhausted the first $1,000, now I'm going to need $200/hr to keep working. Oh, and this call is going to be billed as 15 minutes."

I traded in my fun blog for several legal blogs. Or, "blawgs," as the cutesy attorney blawgosphere likes to call 'em.
Falconeer
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Reply #180 on: November 18, 2010, 03:50:05 PM

One lawyer wrote me this:

Quote
My fees are as follows:  1) to obtain the police report/evidence from the prosecutor, additional legal research as needed, file my appearance with the court clerk, appear at court hearings with the judge and prosecutor to discuss the bond as well as resolution without a trial (either voluntary dismissal by the prosecutor or a plea/sentencing agreement) - $1500; to have a hearing on a motion to dismiss because of insufficient evidence - additional $500; to have a judge or jury trial, an additional $1500.  Therefore, the fees would be up to $3500 if you have a trial.  I accept all major credit cards.  Again, if you win and all charges are dismissed, the court should refund 100% of your $1000 bond.  But, I would like to ask the judge to consider canceling the bond completely at the first court hearing.

I understand about 10% of it. I feel my willing to fight slowly leaving the body.
The 750$ one doesn't sound that bad all of a sudden.

Count Nerfedalot
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Reply #181 on: November 18, 2010, 06:40:59 PM

Hey, whoever changed poor Falconeer's board title got it wrong.  He may very well have been born in the correct country, his problems stem from having visited the wrong country!  Oh ho ho ho. Reallllly?

But seriously dude, looking for the cheapest way out is likely to gain you an empty wallet and still leave you with a world of hurt.  The fixed price version you quoted is odd.  Interesting but odd.  I've never seen a lawyer not charge based on time with a minimum of 15 minutes per lawyerly attention requiring event, even if they only do 1 minute of work for that billed incident.  The fixed rate for various levels of involvement is intriguing.  And at least she seems to have a grasp of your situation and has thought about it enough to come up with an actual reasonable sounding plan with alternate fall-backs for solving it.  I'm actually kind of impressed.

Oh, and IANAL (I Am Not A Lawyer).

darn it, now I've got the guitar melody from Bon Jovi's "Wanted, Dead or Alive" song running in my head.

Yes, I know I'm paranoid, but am I paranoid enough?
Lantyssa
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Reply #182 on: November 18, 2010, 07:13:46 PM

Hey, whoever changed poor Falconeer's board title got it wrong.  He may very well have been born in the correct country, his problems stem from having visited the wrong country!  Oh ho ho ho. Reallllly?
Nah.  Italy is the wrong country for anyone. Grin

Hahahaha!  I'm really good at this!
Furiously
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Reply #183 on: November 18, 2010, 07:18:41 PM

Even the Catholic Church knows that.

Abagadro
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Reply #184 on: November 18, 2010, 07:28:54 PM

Flat fee billing for minor criminal stuff is pretty standard, no idea if those amounts are reasonable as it is highly location specific. Have you tried talking to the public defender's office for that jurisdiction? You may qualify.

"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”

-H.L. Mencken
CmdrSlack
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Reply #185 on: November 19, 2010, 06:22:59 AM

I also dig the flat fee. The billable hour is awful for the profession, and I'm glad to see more attorneys go flat fee. Our firm does it for the vast majority of our cases. It makes my life suck so much less because I'm not concerned about billing a set number of hours each week.

As far as that deal goes, it's not too bad. I have friends who do flat fee criminal defense work here in Chicago, and from what I've seen them charge, you're not getting being over-charged. Granted, Chicago is a bit different than Ann Arbor. Odds are that you'll end up $1500 to $2000 out of pocket for that person -- if it went to a full trial I'd be surprised.

I traded in my fun blog for several legal blogs. Or, "blawgs," as the cutesy attorney blawgosphere likes to call 'em.
Falconeer
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Reply #186 on: November 19, 2010, 07:15:38 AM

I tried the Public Defender office but they didn't want to tell me on the phone the requirements to qualify. They said I have to not be able to afford a lawyer, and when I asked, candidly, "I don't get it, how are you gonna find out what my finances in Italy are like? Cause I have no idea if I qualify or not", they said that are gonna ask me question and swear that I am telling the truth.
I'd love the cheap, good ole public defendant, but she said she can only take up my case once I show up in court, not before. So, it might backfire as she wouldn't know anything about my case beforehand.


Falconeer
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Reply #187 on: November 19, 2010, 08:14:45 AM

Mmmm just got this from another lawyer:

Quote
Dear Drew:

I have read your description. Under the circumstances we should try to handle it without your return to the US. Based on what you've said I think we can do it. The goal is to get the case against you dismissed at your friends trial. To do that I will need to contact the lawyers and the prosecutor and get the police report and the other evidence anyone has, and speak to your friends, then appear at the scheduled trial and move for dismissal.

So it IS possible!
Dammit, everyone of them says a different thing! And you wonder why I didn't want a lawyer? They are just confusing me even more, and seems very easy that I could be screwed (if nothing else financially) for choosing the wrong one! They all seem to have different strategies too, and some don't seem so applicable to me, but they all make it sound like it's the only one. I feel like I am blindly betting at horse races and first prize is my innocence!

Engels
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Reply #188 on: November 19, 2010, 08:18:50 AM

That last one sounds good, but IMNALMAO

I should get back to nature, too.  You know, like going to a shop for groceries instead of the computer.  Maybe a condo in the woods that doesn't even have a health club or restaurant attached.  Buy a car with only two cup holders or something. -Signe

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Lantyssa
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Reply #189 on: November 19, 2010, 08:40:07 AM

So it IS possible!
Dammit, everyone of them says a different thing! And you wonder why I didn't want a lawyer? They are just confusing me even more, and seems very easy that I could be screwed (if nothing else financially) for choosing the wrong one! They all seem to have different strategies too, and some don't seem so applicable to me, but they all make it sound like it's the only one. I feel like I am blindly betting at horse races and first prize is my innocence!
Yes, I knew it should be.

Keep in mind that laws can be complicated (as you're learning) and there are multiple ways to approach a case.  The trick is finding one that has a good grasp of the system, can work with whatever obstacles are thrown in their path, and can resolve this with the least hassle for you.  So it is kinda like a bet, unfortunately.

This guy at least seems to have a grasp on a reasonable solution.

Hahahaha!  I'm really good at this!
CmdrSlack
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Reply #190 on: November 19, 2010, 09:52:32 AM


So it IS possible!
Dammit, everyone of them says a different thing! And you wonder why I didn't want a lawyer? They are just confusing me even more, and seems very easy that I could be screwed (if nothing else financially) for choosing the wrong one! They all seem to have different strategies too, and some don't seem so applicable to me, but they all make it sound like it's the only one. I feel like I am blindly betting at horse races and first prize is my innocence!
ms to have a grasp on a reasonable solution.

It may also be this person's default approach to this stuff. Even amongst the people in my office, we have serious disagreements about how to approach things. I like to negotiate to settlement, other guys feel the need to do a bunch of dickwaving in court.

It's not so much that the process is Kafkaesque as it is that like Lant said, there's a lot of ways to do the same thing. As long as this guy is charging you a fair price for the type of work he's proposing, you're good. Sounds to me like his approach shouldn't cost more than $1500.

I traded in my fun blog for several legal blogs. Or, "blawgs," as the cutesy attorney blawgosphere likes to call 'em.
Falconeer
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Reply #191 on: November 19, 2010, 01:25:57 PM

Interestingly enough, Cmdr, I explained this firm my financial situation and they told me their usual fee for something like that is 5000$, but they were ready to cut it to 2500$ considering my position. When I further explained them what's my life like, they cut it to... 1500$. It's kind of awesome, I guess. Still kind of expensive to look at boobs I was already vastly experienced with, but heh.

CmdrSlack
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Reply #192 on: November 19, 2010, 01:28:14 PM

Interestingly enough, Cmdr, I explained this firm my financial situation and they told me their usual fee for something like that is 5000$, but they were ready to cut it to 2500$ considering my position. When I further explained them what's my life like, they cut it to... 1500$. It's kind of awesome, I guess. Still kind of expensive to look at boobs I was already vastly experienced with, but heh.

So either I am under-valuing my services if I was doing criminal defense....or that guy knows that he can charge more than actual value since one's freedom may be on the line.

I traded in my fun blog for several legal blogs. Or, "blawgs," as the cutesy attorney blawgosphere likes to call 'em.
Morat20
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Reply #193 on: November 19, 2010, 03:08:19 PM

Interestingly enough, Cmdr, I explained this firm my financial situation and they told me their usual fee for something like that is 5000$, but they were ready to cut it to 2500$ considering my position. When I further explained them what's my life like, they cut it to... 1500$. It's kind of awesome, I guess. Still kind of expensive to look at boobs I was already vastly experienced with, but heh.
My brother, in an lengthy issue with his lease in his last apartment, ended up needing a lawyer. One of his friends was one, but not in a relevent field. He got bounced around "I don't practice that sort of law, but I have a friend who might know someone". About four referrels later he ended up meeting with a partner in a major firm, who spent an hour of her time walking him through what he needed to do to handle the issue (and how to handle the apartment complex he was wanting to move to, who were leery given his legal issues), and charged him approx 5% of her normal fee.

Surpisingly, all his legal issues vanished the minute an actual lawyer contacted his scuzzy ex-landlord. It also helped that he wasn't really interested in trying to get any of his money back (the lawyer told him it was doable, he had a solid case, but that it'd take forever and wouldn't be worth the cost or the time) he just wanted free of his lease, and to keep the guy from badmouthing him when he was trying to get a new place.
MahrinSkel
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Reply #194 on: November 19, 2010, 05:17:38 PM

It's amazing how much bullshit magically disappears when you mention your wife is an attorney.  And if that doesn't do it, a letter from one of her friends (on letterhead) can do wonders.

--Dave

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Sheepherder
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Reply #195 on: November 20, 2010, 04:57:33 AM

It's kind of awesome, I guess. Still kind of expensive to look at boobs I was already vastly experienced with, but heh.

I know someone who was wanted in Spain for tapping into a telephone trunk line that ran under his house, ended up in Canada after he decided Spain was a bad place for him, was pulled over a few hours from where I live for driving a motorcycle without a seat (also "borrowed" and uninsured, but at that point the cop just advised them to fuck off and return the bike), and is now in custody of his Canadian born child because his ex-wife was deemed to be a bad parent.

Justice is fucking strange.
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Reply #196 on: November 20, 2010, 09:33:58 AM

is now in custody of his Canadian born child because his ex-wife was deemed to be a bad parent.


 Head scratch

'Reality' is the only word in the language that should always be used in quotes.
Rendakor
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Reply #197 on: November 20, 2010, 10:18:47 AM


"i can't be a star citizen. they won't even give me a star green card"
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Reply #198 on: November 20, 2010, 10:42:02 AM

I know what custody is. But "in custody" usually refers to being the one who is overseen, not the overseer.

'Reality' is the only word in the language that should always be used in quotes.
Falconeer
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Reply #199 on: November 20, 2010, 10:57:01 AM

It's kind of awesome, I guess. Still kind of expensive to look at boobs I was already vastly experienced with, but heh.

I know someone who was wanted in Spain for tapping into a telephone trunk line that ran under his house, ended up in Canada after he decided Spain was a bad place for him, was pulled over a few hours from where I live for driving a motorcycle without a seat (also "borrowed" and uninsured, but at that point the cop just advised them to fuck off and return the bike), and is now in custody of his Canadian born child because his ex-wife was deemed to be a bad parent.

Justice is fucking strange.

Weird. I want to go live in Canada (since I decided Italy is a bad place for me), too. And I am "in custody" of my son too, cause his mother was deemed to be a bad parent.

Trouble
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Reply #200 on: November 22, 2010, 10:48:49 PM

It's amazing how much bullshit magically disappears when you mention your wife is an attorney.  And if that doesn't do it, a letter from one of her friends (on letterhead) can do wonders.

--Dave

Indeed, having a mother who is a particularly capable lawyer with an intimidating employment history does wonders for solving certain kinds of problems with people being assholes.
Slayerik
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Reply #201 on: November 23, 2010, 11:50:41 AM

I got arrested once at the Indy 500 for possession of marijuana. It was a bullshit charge, as I never had any on me and hit a joint once with some undercover cops. They arrested me anyway, saying "I possessed it when I hit the joint".

I contacted a lawyer, arranged for him to stand for me in court and take care of it for $750. Everything was dropped. They just wanted to get money into the system, and that's the first step into getting your situation handled.

I used to go annually to the race, it was a great time, but other friends of mine got harassed on some bogus alcohol related charges and we decided we were done pumping money into their shitty state. Bad move by them, in the long run.

"I have more qualifications than Jesus and earn more than this whole board put together.  My ego is huge and my modesty non-existant." -Ironwood
Grimwell
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[Redacted]


Reply #202 on: November 30, 2010, 09:57:51 PM

Did this thread ever get to the point where he posted naked pics of the girls? I tl:dr'ed :)

Grimwell
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Reply #203 on: November 30, 2010, 10:46:59 PM

Unfortunately, no. Maybe he's trying to avoid presenting evidence that DHS can use against his terrorist ass.  why so serious?

"i can't be a star citizen. they won't even give me a star green card"
NowhereMan
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Reply #204 on: December 01, 2010, 03:34:44 AM

Unfortunately, no. Maybe he's trying to avoid presenting evidence that DHS can use against his terrorist ass.  why so serious?

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, I put it to you, that this ass before you in the dock was on that grassy knoll on the day in question and could, conceivably, have shocked those boy scouts."

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Falconeer
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Reply #205 on: December 01, 2010, 08:42:57 AM

Dealing with lawyers and mostly paying them at the moment. I'll update as soon as there is anything new. What is interesting is the January 13th trial by jury where the models, who pleaded not guilty, will try to convince the jury they were actually doing art. So, I guess, showing them the pictures for real.

Paelos
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Error 404: Title not found.


Reply #206 on: December 01, 2010, 10:09:24 AM

You should post them here since they are a matter of public record, then.

CPA, CFO, Sports Fan, Game when I have the time
Falconeer
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Reply #207 on: December 01, 2010, 10:29:07 AM

You wouldn't like them.

Paelos
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Error 404: Title not found.


Reply #208 on: December 01, 2010, 11:54:15 AM

You wouldn't like them.

What are they fat? Fat and hairy with moles? If they are naked and weigh less than a buck-eighty, I can assure you there won't be complaints.

CPA, CFO, Sports Fan, Game when I have the time
Cyrrex
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Reply #209 on: December 01, 2010, 12:08:24 PM

And I daresay, if they are not good enough looking to turn on a bunch of internet nerds like us, then passing it off as art is going to be....problematic?  You practically owe it to them to get our opinion.

"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
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