Oscar Picks '05

[stray]

Very few can film action scenes like Woo can, but that's where my praise stops. The action may be good, but a John Woo film in it's entirety is almost always an unwatchable piece of shit. He should be a choreographer or stunt coordinator, not a filmmaker.

[Riggswolfe]

I'm the resident John Woo fanboi. I own Hard Boiled, The Killer, MI-2 , and probably a better tomorrow. I love his early stuff. The part that kills me is you guys bitching he can only do one thing must have never read an interview with him. He's tired of his "thing" as well, however, when he gets hired, he gets hired to do a John Woo movie and is usually told to put those elements in. See: Paycheck for an example.

Sean Penn is kind of creepy, but it's an honest creepy. I'd rather have dinner with him than Chris Rock any day. Rock would be trying to hard and Sean Penn would be like "I don't give a fuck if you like me or not."

[schild]

The day I give a shit about Japanese cinema is the day I let him pick my film on movie night.

Look, Schild doesn't know shit about movies.  He without fail picks some navel gazing, faux existentialist piece of shit as the epitome of "art".  In short, he's a douche.  That, however, doesn't mean that Japanese movies are crap.  Particularly, Kurosawa is a fucking genius.  Of course, a lot of the reason he appeals to us so much is because he was obsessed with western culture and literature, so you've got a lot of those themes in his movies.  If you want to see the best film version of King Lear ever made, check out Ran.  Awesome movie.

Of course, we get into weirdness where Kurosawa is interpreting western themes, and then westerners reinterpret his movies and remake them:  Seven Samurai --> Magnificent Seven,  Hidden Fortress --> Star Wars.  You start getting into interpretations of interpretations.

Did you get that in 5 cents in late fees at the local library? Don't sum up Kurosawa's career in what you'll find in the kiddy section of the newspaper. And don't shit on me for picking films you'll never understand at their most base level. It's a cute party trick to discuss Kurosawa's influence on modern film. I could do it when I was eight years old. Read this, take two tylenol, sleep on it, and then come back and talk about Kurosawa before I run circles around you. Other cinematic geniuses from Japan? Yasujiro Ozu, Takashi Miike, Kinji Fukusaki - do I need to go on or have I already lost you? We can do any other country you want as well. France, Italy, Russia, Britain, Canada, Mexico, China, Hong Kong, etc. Seriously, you don't want to step on my ability to injest everything I read and regurgitate it out. You don't know shit about me and you arent about to pin me as *phile of any country. I'm a fan of CINEMA - whether that be from b-rate directors on the Troma ticket or the most art faggy thing to come out of the Netherlands from last spring.

I'd like you to find somewhere that I picked a "faux existentialist piece of shit" for anything. Because, sorry bucko, you're barking up the wrong tree if you think Huckabees was just that. You should step out of your world of the Washington Post movie reviews section.

Stray, there's a japanese movie where they eat humans, call it monkey and then there's a guy on a hill eating his own shit. Castrating themselves is the least of my worries.

Riggswolfe, being an early John Woo fanatic, I have to agree, The Killer, Hard Boiled and A Better Tomorrow 1 & 2 are quite good. The latter two probably being his most cohesive story. He's goddamn bad at staying on track and completely bit ass  since he set foot on US soil. If you're looking for movies with the depth of his films - minus the doves - go rent Infernal Affairs, they pitched it as a cop movie with hot chicks in America, but it's so much more.

[stray]

If you're looking for movies with the depth of his films - minus the doves - go rent Infernal Affairs, they pitched it as a cop movie with hot chicks in America, but it's so much more.

Holy shit, he did that? I always thought Shakespeare wrote it.

That's a good one though. I agree.

As for Japanese Cinema, I don't completely hate it. Like I said: I just wish they'd get their balls back (Miike just doesn't do it for me). I'm a big action flick guy, so I simply can not ingest most of the weird shit that comes out of Japan these days.

The only highlight for recent Japanese cinema for me is Tetsuo. Not only does that film have balls -- It's got big steel ones.

Don't even get me started on Tetsuo though. It's unspeakable.

[schild]

No, I don't recall the name of the Infernal Affairs guy atm.

Japan's latest pure action/sci-fi outting, Casshern, was utter shit. Avoid at all costs or watch it muted.

[Big Gulp]

I'd like you to find somewhere that I picked a "faux existentialist piece of shit" for anything. Because, sorry bucko, you're barking up the wrong tree if you think Huckabees was just that. You should step out of your world of the Washington Post movie reviews section.

See, this tells me everything about you that I need to know; you're a fan of self-indulgent wankery.  No need to get all defensive about it, pookie bear.

[schild]

Big Gulp, I expect more from you than blatent trolling.

[Signe]

Sheesh... what do you want, schild?  He called you Pookie Bear!

[Paelos]

He wants respect, dammit! Too bad the internet is severely lacking in that category.

As for films, people's knowledge of film generally turns them into self-important jackasses the more they learn about it. Because, in reality, it's a form of art. People judge art, and they criticize art, but it's a very subjective medium. Take the movie High Fidelity. You see men who have such a broad knowledge of the field of music that they become snobs to people who like what they consider to be pedestrian. Is it true though, that better knowledge breeds better taste? I would argue against that. Better knowledge just gives you more options to define your own particular style. When people get overly vehement that their style is the best style and therefor the best that the entire medium has to offer, that is where I take issue.

And birds go tweet.

[stray]

Well said, man.

[schild]

I don't think, by any means, that my style if the best style. Some movies just suck so much ass, I don't know how people can like them. But then, some people don't think either.

[Ardent]

I don't think, by any means, that my style if the best style. Some movies just suck so much ass, I don't know how people can like them. But then, some people don't think either.

Please send me a list of movies deemed objectively worthy of schild, otherwise I will be incapable of thought.

[schild]

Here, let me give you an example:

Maria Full of Grace.

Unless for some reason, you have empathy for mules - this movie is a piece of shit. Yet it got a cockslobbering from the entire industry.

Another one that falls into this category, is Sideways. Now Ardent, you've done nothing other than assault me and defend YOUR REACTION to the movie. You haven't even discussed the movie itself. Are we going to get to that? Or am I just going to have to deal with insults and childish roundabout?

[Ardent]

EDIT: I agree with Paelos, I'm as tired of this shit as everyone else. If I'm not mistaken, we're supposed to be discussing the Oscars here.

[Paelos]

Get a room, you two.

[Signe]

Big birds go TWEET.

[HaemishM]

The Killer was a good movie. The problem with John Woo is that he can only really do one thing, so it gets old after a while. White doves anyone?

His best US film is probably...Hard Target?

I think Face/Off was his best US film. Hard Target had Van Dummbe, Broken Arrow was decent if a little too heavy on the helicopters crashing, Paycheck was unspectacular and had too many doves, and both Windtalkers and Mission Impossible 2 were just ass flappings on film.

EDIT: We pretty much stopped discussing the Oscars because the Ocars are self-fellation of the Hollywood El33t. Fuck the Oscars.

As for Japanese cinema, I saw Tetsuo a few years ago and am STILL goddamn scarred. Should I ever go to Japan, I will be afraid to drink the fucking water. 

[Ardent]

A person's reaction to a piece of art depends on the progression of their life. Childhood, education, prejudice, maturity, death, relationships ... all of these factors merge to form how a human being filters their reaction to a film, and whether it entertains or annoys.

Understanding this, different people are going to have very different reactions to all kinds of art. Chris Rock's little piece on the Oscars about black people not caring about "white" movies is a crude illustration of this.

However, despite any accolades or jeers a piece of art may receive, no matter how many Oscars or other meaningless marketing hooks are draped around a film, ultimately any reaction to a film is opinion. Art must pass through the filters of experience, and how it is deposited on the other side of that filter is different for everybody.

The Academy people who cast their votes for Million Dollar Baby were touched by something, whether it was the film itself or the marketing campaign that begged for Oscars, those people felt strongly enough about their opinion to use their influence to honor it. I can choose to accept their decision or not, and my choice might make me unpopular or pigheaded, but I'm not wrong because of what side I choose.

That's why I have a hard time when someone presents their opinion as objective fact. That person is not taking into account that their experiences form a strong perspective in their own mind, but since those experiences are not shared by anyone else other than themself, something that brought out a strong reaction (whether rapturous or repellent) may meet with utter indifference in others.

Some people might classify The Godfather as an objectively brilliant movie, one of the best ever made, and I would agree with that ... yet I have a very intelligent friend who hated it. I despised Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, yet I've seen it praised on this very discussion board. I understand that my opinion is just that, and I am not going to call someone wrong for expressing the ideas they formulated through their filter of life experience, just because it differs from mine.

[HaemishM]

Yes, but I think we can objectively all agree that this film REALLY SUCKED MONKEY COCK.

[Paelos]

It's no "Glitter"

[Furiously]

Did you get that in 5 cents in late fees at the local library? Don't sum up Kurosawa's career in what you'll find in the kiddy section of the newspaper. And don't shit on me for picking films you'll never understand at their most base level. It's a cute party trick to discuss Kurosawa's influence on modern film. I could do it when I was eight years old. Read this, take two tylenol, sleep on it, and then come back and talk about Kurosawa before I run circles around you. Other cinematic geniuses from Japan? Yasujiro Ozu, Takashi Miike, Kinji Fukusaki - do I need to go on or have I already lost you? We can do any other country you want as well. France, Italy, Russia, Britain, Canada, Mexico, China, Hong Kong, etc. Seriously, you don't want to step on my ability to injest everything I read and regurgitate it out. You don't know shit about me and you arent about to pin me as *phile of any country. I'm a fan of CINEMA - whether that be from b-rate directors on the Troma ticket or the most art faggy thing to come out of the Netherlands from last spring.

I'd like you to find somewhere that I picked a "faux existentialist piece of shit" for anything. Because, sorry bucko, you're barking up the wrong tree if you think Huckabees was just that. You should step out of your world of the Washington Post movie reviews section.

This was a lot funnier the first time I saw it in Good Will Hunting - You should have added the "How do you like them apples" bit. That was the funny part.

[schild]

Only the first sentence was from Hunting. You're the second person who grafted the whole thing to that scene. Also, I thought the first sentence was apropos. The first thing anyone learns about Kurosawa is his influence on a certain handful of movies. After that, they think they know something other people don't. It's common fucking knowledge and should be treated as such.

Edit: Words are hard.

[Paelos]

So sayeth Riki Tiki Tavi w/ the 30.06:

Kurosawa is now common knowledge.


Which means my knowledge just got a lot less common.

[schild]

So sayeth Riki Tiki Tavi w/ the 30.06:

Kurosawa is now common knowledge.


Which means my knowledge just got a lot less common.

I hate people putting spin on my shit. I did NOT say Kurosawa was common knowledge, I said this was:

Of course, a lot of the reason he appeals to us so much is because he was obsessed with western culture and literature, so you've got a lot of those themes in his movies.  If you want to see the best film version of King Lear ever made, check out Ran.  Awesome movie.

Of course, we get into weirdness where Kurosawa is interpreting western themes, and then westerners reinterpret his movies and remake them:  Seven Samurai --> Magnificent Seven,  Hidden Fortress --> Star Wars.  You start getting into interpretations of interpretations.

If there's ANYTHING people know about him, besides what movies he made, it's the stuff in quotes above.

[Fargull]

Yes, but I think we can objectively all agree that this film REALLY SUCKED MONKEY COCK.

My god, you actually made a concious decision to watch that movie.  I know you do the pain for the review thing, but that is masocism brother.  Seek help.

Schild, I really want to shoot your avatar.

[HaemishM]

No, that was one movie I could determine the suckiness of without having to watch it.

[MrHat]

No, that was one movie I could determine the suckiness of without having to watch it.

Watch it, Glitter, and Crossroads in the same day.  Then write a review on life.

But please remove all sharp utensils from the immediate vicinity.

[Furiously]

When I watched Ran in Japanese class in highschool I thought it was about a sheet smuggling ring. It's actaully not that good of a movie that way.