Oscar Picks '05

[MaceVanHoffen]

Mmmm, Merlot.

That link is the only redeeming thing associated with Sideways.  I wish I'd seen that earlier.  Fantastic rant!

[Rasix]

Probably a good thing that I didn't know much about Rex Pickett and am only casually knowledgeable about wine.   

[WayAbvPar]

Haven't seen Sideways yet, but I have been a Pinot Noir fan for years. I also like merlot, cabernet sauvignon, and Chianti. Anything white, on the other hand, is undrinkable.

[schild]

Haven't seen Sideways yet, but I have been a Pinot Noir fan for years. I also like merlot, cabernet sauvignon, and Chianti. Anything white, on the other hand, is undrinkable.

I think I just heard grandmothers everywhere scowl at you. It may not be safe for you to walk the streets tonight.

[stray]

I used to drink just about any type of red wine, but nowadays it's all Malbec. Argentina pwns the Old World.

[schild]

Am I being too gay when I say I really, really like Petite Shiraz? And yes, I like it more than Petite Sirah.

[HaemishM]

I'm a Pinot Noir/Merlot man, myself. And I'm not being gay when I say I like wines with a fruiter flavor.

Fruit having nothing whatsoever to do with mancock.

[WayAbvPar]

Haven't seen Sideways yet, but I have been a Pinot Noir fan for years. I also like merlot, cabernet sauvignon, and Chianti. Anything white, on the other hand, is undrinkable.

I think I just heard grandmothers everywhere scowl at you. It may not be safe for you to walk the streets tonight.

I have the 4-volt. I may be in trouble!

[Ardent]

I'm going to have to go bathe in the glory that is my "I [heart] Huckabees" 2 disk special edition.

I suppose if you liked Huckabees, you're not completely irredeemable.

And Rasix, since I'm too lazy to quote your post, I would say that I was also reluctant to see The Aviator, and was surprised at how much I enjoyed it. Maybe you should give it a spin.

Now, let's see how schild rips me on this one, since he hands his opinions down on stone tablets from God On High. (Please allow me this one bit of sarcasm, I think I've been restrained in this thread despite the pummelling I took.)

[Shockeye]

If the wine comes in a box it is good enough for me.

[schild]

Go back and read my shit. I thought Huckabees was snubbed completely. It's in the running for my favorite movie this year besides Eternal Sunshine. Trust me, I wanted to like Sideways. It just bit cock.

[Paelos]

Look Schild knows he's a movie dick. We know he's a movie dick. The day I give a shit about Japanese cinema is the day I let him pick my film on movie night.


Now, where's my copy of White Chicks?

[Big Gulp]

The day I give a shit about Japanese cinema is the day I let him pick my film on movie night.

Look, Schild doesn't know shit about movies.  He without fail picks some navel gazing, faux existentialist piece of shit as the epitome of "art".  In short, he's a douche.  That, however, doesn't mean that Japanese movies are crap.  Particularly, Kurosawa is a fucking genius.  Of course, a lot of the reason he appeals to us so much is because he was obsessed with western culture and literature, so you've got a lot of those themes in his movies.  If you want to see the best film version of King Lear ever made, check out Ran.  Awesome movie.

Of course, we get into weirdness where Kurosawa is interpreting western themes, and then westerners reinterpret his movies and remake them:  Seven Samurai --> Magnificent Seven,  Hidden Fortress --> Star Wars.  You start getting into interpretations of interpretations.

[stray]

I stopped giving a shit about Japanese cinema the minute they started castrated themselves.

[Ardent]

Oh, and one more thing from the Oscar show:

Will the aliens who stole Renee Zellweger please replace her with a more believably human-acting android clone?

[Rasix]

I found it humerous that Anette Benning was introducing the dead people, considering she looked like a freakin' zombie. Is there a man that's more out of touch with reality than Sean Penn? Spicoli needs to lay off the drugs.

[stray]

Spicoli needs to lay off the drugs.

If this thread is any indication, you guys would be much more vicious than he was standing up there. Seriously.

He doesn't do drugs these days. He just thinks that the majority of people he's exposed to are complete douchebags.

And considering where's he at, he's probably right.

Or are you talking something else, and not his attitude?

[MaceVanHoffen]

He doesn't do drugs these days. He just thinks that the majority of people he's exposed to are complete douchebags.

And considering where's he at, he's probably right.

He is right.  And that's one big reason I heart Sean Penn.

[Rasix]

Or are you talking something else, and not his attitude?

Him generally looking and sounding like he was on drugs.  That and making a complete ass out of himself.  See "Jude Law".

[stray]

That and making a complete ass out of himself.  See "Jude Law".

Chris Rock sucks balls and Penn called him on it. Good for him.

[Ardent]

Watch it there, chief. Maybe my sense of humor is a bit impaired, but Jude Law is one of our finest actors!

((cue cheap applause))

[HaemishM]

Oh, and one more thing from the Oscar show:

Will the aliens who stole Renee Zellweger please replace her with a more believably human-acting android clone?

I would have been quite happy had she disappeared after Jerry Maguire.

[Rasix]

Ok, we found the Sean Penn fanboi.  Who's the John Woo enthusiast again?  I need to know so I can more efficiently line up my cheap shots. 

[HaemishM]

I like the John Woo that used to make the films over in Hong Kong. I'm not sure who the fuck this clone is that's making names in the US under his name, but we should shoot him on sight.

[stray]

Ok, we found the Sean Penn fanboi.  Who's the John Woo enthusiast again?  I need to know so I can more efficiently line up my cheap shots. 

None other than SirBruce (edit: I hear that he's completely immune to cheap shots though).

Hmm..Not sure about that actually. Though I did read him singing the praises of Face Off the other day.

Hard Boiled was cool, for the sheer number of people killed in it. But as for the rest of the Hong Kong films, I think they suck even worse than the American ones. The John Woo we see now is no imposter imo.

[Yoru]

Just to poke in, it was, in my opinion, a crime against humanity that 'Downfall' didn't win best foreign-language film. It takes serious talent to pull off Downfall without turning the subject matter into either a cartoon or pointless postmodern wanking.

Please return to your regularly-scheduled and highly entertaining derail.

[WayAbvPar]

Oh, and one more thing from the Oscar show:

Will the aliens who stole Renee Zellweger please replace her with a more believably human-acting android clone?

I would have been quite happy had she disappeared after Jerry Maguire.

"You had me at goodbye!"

Sean Penn is a douchebag in general. I was flicking between the Oscars and 'Heat' on HBO (SUCH a great flick), so I missed his general douchery this time. Also, John Woo is a fucking hack.

[stray]

Just to poke in, it was, in my opinion, a crime against humanity that 'Downfall' didn't win best foreign-language film. It takes serious talent to pull off Downfall without turning the subject matter into either a cartoon or pointless postmodern wanking.

Please return to your regularly-scheduled and highly entertaining derail.

Why do most lurkers always have something intelligent and fairly useful to say?

Post more you freaks!

[Fargull]

I would have been quite happy had she disappeared after Jerry Maguire.

I disagree with you.  Now, Nicole Kidman, she makes day old soup look entertaining.

[MaceVanHoffen]

Also, John Woo is a fucking hack.

I guess you're not looking forward to John Woo's epic masterpiece He-Man.  This movie will rock.

In other news, I enjoy sarcasm.  In fact, the only thing that would save that movie is if Sean Penn were starring in it.

[Ardent]

I guess you're not looking forward to John Woo's epic masterpiece He-Man.

Hee.

Written by the guy who wrote and directed "The Dark Backward", my favorite Bill-Paxton-as-a-necrophiliac movie.

[Shockeye]

Oh, and one more thing from the Oscar show:

Will the aliens who stole Renee Zellweger please replace her with a more believably human-acting android clone?

I would have been quite happy had she disappeared after Jerry Maguire.

Two words: Nurse Betty

[Big Gulp]

Ok, we found the Sean Penn fanboi.   

I just love the thought of that jackass sitting there for two hours thinking, "Should I say something?  No, no, it's not my place.  Yes, dammit, I will!  No one talks smack about Jude Law on my watch!"  And then he stepped forth to defend Jude Law's honor.

Honestly, what a humorless, self-important dick.

[SirBruce]

Ok, we found the Sean Penn fanboi.  Who's the John Woo enthusiast again?  I need to know so I can more efficiently line up my cheap shots. 

None other than SirBruce (edit: I hear that he's completely immune to cheap shots though).

Hmm..Not sure about that actually. Though I did read him singing the praises of Face Off the other day.

Nono, I'm the Jude Law enthusiast.  Face/Off was more about Cage/Travolta to me than Woo.

Bruce

[Margalis]

The Killer was a good movie. The problem with John Woo is that he can only really do one thing, so it gets old after a while. White doves anyone?

His best US film is probably...Hard Target?