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Author Topic: Internet Dating: Everyone's still shallow  (Read 407463 times)
tgr
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Just another victim of cyber age discrimination.


Reply #1260 on: January 18, 2012, 01:59:44 PM

She could care less.
You're sure she could care less? awesome, for real

Cyno's lit, bridge is up, but one pilot won't be jumping home.
Miasma
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Stopgap Measure


Reply #1261 on: January 18, 2012, 02:00:55 PM

Her DAD plays Eve. She could care less.
Oh.  I am finding more often that I miss words when reading, also when writing.  I have to re-read what I write a few times to make sure I didn't omit any key verbs or nouns, I still don't find them all.  Maybe I have a brain disease.
Paelos
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Error 404: Title not found.


Reply #1262 on: January 18, 2012, 02:16:36 PM

She could care less.
You're sure she could care less? awesome, for real

QUIET SILLY CAT FACE!

CPA, CFO, Sports Fan, Game when I have the time
Murgos
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Reply #1263 on: January 18, 2012, 02:59:17 PM

Her DAD plays Eve. She could care less.
Oh.  I am finding more often that I miss words when reading, also when writing.  I have to re-read what I write a few times to make sure I didn't omit any key verbs or nouns, I still don't find them all.  Maybe I have a brain disease.

It's pretty normal from what I understand.   Your brain is constantly filling in gaps in conversations and things you read (recursively even, adjusting what you read/heard several sentences ago).  There have been a lot of studies showing that a missing word will often go unnoticed when it's obvious what that word should have been.  To the point that people swear they read/heard it when asked immediately afterwards.

If you want to know more check out The Language Instinct by Stephen Pinker.

"You have all recieved youre last warning. I am in the process of currently tracking all of youre ips and pinging your home adressess. you should not have commencemed a war with me" - Aaron Rayburn
01101010
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You call it an accident. I call it justice.


Reply #1264 on: January 19, 2012, 08:01:58 AM

http://www.gk2gk.com/

 awesome, for real Ohhhhh, I see. swamp poop ACK!

I don't have the words... but am very tempted to start a profile and see what dredges up from the depths... if anything.

Does any one know where the love of God goes...When the waves turn the minutes to hours? -G. Lightfoot
Merusk
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Reply #1265 on: January 19, 2012, 10:11:38 AM

Having done it with previous geek/ gamer/ nerd sites from the same profound sense of curiosity....

Nothing good, man.  Nothing you want to see at all.  The only way it could be worse is if you made a female looking for male profile.

The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
Minvaren
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Reply #1266 on: January 19, 2012, 10:18:01 AM

Cute site with lots of interesting profiles when I briefly used it 4 years ago.

Went back to look at it again last year - all the same profiles, now with "last logged in" dates of 3 years prior.   As always, YMMV.

"There are many things of which a wise man might wish to remain ignorant." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
K9
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Reply #1267 on: August 05, 2013, 02:38:36 PM

Bang With Friends

So yes, this is a thing apparently  awesome, for real  ACK!  why so serious?

I love the smell of facepalm in the morning
Samwise
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Reply #1268 on: August 05, 2013, 02:41:51 PM

 my what do we have here?

"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
Brofellos
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Reply #1269 on: August 05, 2013, 02:46:57 PM

Is this where i can post pics of profiles I've saved of girls who are a) high match % with me and also b) get confrontational about being strippers/sex workers?
Ironwood
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Reply #1270 on: August 05, 2013, 02:48:26 PM

God, I hope not.

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
Trippy
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Reply #1271 on: August 05, 2013, 02:59:08 PM

Bang With Friends

So yes, this is a thing apparently  awesome, for real  ACK!  why so serious?
Bang With Friends is so six months ago. Twine is where it's at now.
K9
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Reply #1272 on: August 05, 2013, 03:13:18 PM

Bang With Friends

So yes, this is a thing apparently  awesome, for real  ACK!  why so serious?
Bang With Friends is so six months ago. Twine is where it's at now.


But that involves meeting strangers! Ugh.


I love the smell of facepalm in the morning
TheWalrus
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Reply #1273 on: August 05, 2013, 11:15:26 PM

Lol, they have a screen cap of people talking about Borderlands. ><

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Signe
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Reply #1274 on: August 06, 2013, 07:52:49 AM

They have aliens:



Just in case you're finding it attractive, this is a man alien.  I think.

My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
Miasma
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Reply #1275 on: August 06, 2013, 08:06:43 AM

Looks like elder scrolls Daedric armour.
Cyrrex
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Reply #1276 on: August 31, 2018, 04:44:55 AM

Nuh nuh nuh necro! 

Wondering if there is any interest in publicly reviving this discussion.  For one, I suspect the landscape and tools/apps have changed in the last five years (fucking unreal this thread has been silent that long, time passes so fast).  For two....I am divorced now and have tentatively begun to enter this strange, strange world.

Surely there are more of you out there in a similar situation.  I feel a compelling need to share and/or get advice.  Surely there is some entertainment value to be had, if nothing else?

"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
Nebu
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Reply #1277 on: August 31, 2018, 06:27:37 AM

I have tried internet dating on multiple occasions, but find it to be a cesspool of the unwashed and unwanted.  If you live in a larger metro area, I could see it as a useful tool for people that you might otherwise never encounter.  Just keep in mind that many people are serial daters and use sites like these as a way to obtain free/cheap entertainment.

As a liberal, vegetarian, atheist in the Bible belt I see being single as a long-term situation.  I've pretty much abandoned any hope for a meaningful relationship. 
« Last Edit: August 31, 2018, 06:29:34 AM by Nebu »

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Samwise
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Reply #1278 on: August 31, 2018, 07:39:11 AM

I've been in a relationship for close to two years now but the basics probably haven't changed that much in that time.

Assume everyone is a serial killer until you've been on at least one date with them to assess them for craziness.  Meet in a public place, etc.

If you're recently divorced, you shouldn't be looking for a meaningful relationship right now.  I recommend okcupid and Tinder if you're in this phase of life.  Like Nebu said, most people on these sites are just fucking around and either aren't looking for anything long-term or are messes in one way or another and SHOULDN'T be looking for anything long-term.  If you go in with those expectations and protect yourself appropriately, there is fun to be had.

Down the road if you're looking for something longer term, eHarmony seems like one of the better options.  Met my current girlfriend there, and other women I've met via eHarmony have just generally had much higher rates of (a) not being serial daters and (b) being employed.

"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
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Reply #1279 on: August 31, 2018, 07:46:11 AM

the thing about eharmony is its not cheap and the pool in general is looking for marriage

okcupid is slightly less about sex

tinder is about sex
Nebu
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Reply #1280 on: August 31, 2018, 07:46:47 AM

Down the road if you're looking for something longer term, eHarmony seems like one of the better options.  Met my current girlfriend there, and other women I've met via eHarmony have just generally had much higher rates of (a) not being serial daters and (b) being employed.

I have found this to be true as well.  Having to take a questionnaire and pay a fee for the service seems to be enough of a gatekeeper to generally improve the quality of people involved.  I met an amazing woman through eHarmony ~8 years ago.  While the relationship did end, it was higher quality than I've found on other dating sites.

the thing about eharmony is its not cheap and the pool in general is looking for marriage

okcupid is slightly less about sex

tinder is about sex

This about covers it.

"Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other."

-  Mark Twain
Phildo
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Reply #1281 on: August 31, 2018, 08:27:05 AM

eHarmony flat out rejected me, so I can't say I'm the biggest fan.  OKCupid and Tinder were the most fun for me when I was single, and I eventually met my fiancee on Tinder.  It's foolish to go in assuming everyone there is only looking to hook up, especially once you start looking outside of early 20-somethings.  Several other friends are in serious long-term relationships from Tinder as well.

I also know people that had success on narrower sites such as J Date.

Is Bumble still a thing?  That was a popular alternative to Tinder a few years ago.
Shannow
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Reply #1282 on: August 31, 2018, 09:43:20 AM

I've done the internet dating thing a fair bit over the last cpl of years (I'm also 42 so context).

One, I wish this shit was around when I was 20. Seriously. It's a cesspool but it's such a big one!

Tinder is mainly about sex, but you will find that the older you go it's somewhat less about it. Some people are genuinely are looking for a relationship out of it, some people also lie about that. :D

Bumble is still a thing, fairly popular and of course has the benefit that the woman has to initiate a chat (cuts down on time I guess). That has the drawback that a lot of woman DON'T want to do that.

I actually paid for Match for a month and met my GF on there, 10 months later...

I think OKC is kinda dead? I used it for a while, met some fun people. You can definitely get a better sense of who they are, and seems to be more the choice for more left of center type of woman, oh and alternative lifestyle choice ppl as well..:P


Use Tinder, meet a lot of people, have fun, use protection no matter what they say.

Someone liked something? Who the fuzzy fuck was this heretic? You don't come to this website and enjoy something. Fuck that. ~ The Walrus
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Reply #1283 on: August 31, 2018, 09:48:48 AM

Match bought OKC and OKC took a dive. It was a move that pissed a lot of people off.
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Reply #1284 on: August 31, 2018, 10:37:30 AM

Match bought OKC and OKC took a dive. It was a move that pissed a lot of people off.

They actively torpedoed it last year. Now you can’t message people unless you “like” them first and you won’t see messages unless you “like” someone (or if you randomly go to their profile and see the message to you at the top of it). They also changed to a “real name” policy st the same time.

Oh and their searches will randomly remove people from the results.

Basically now that they know how the okcupid matching algorithms work and they have mined all that data, they are killing off the free services they bought to drive people into match.com where you have to pay to send messsges or see messages sent to you, or to tinder which they also own.

'Reality' is the only word in the language that should always be used in quotes.
Mandella
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Reply #1285 on: August 31, 2018, 01:06:29 PM



As a liberal, vegetarian, atheist in the Bible belt I see being single as a long-term situation.  I've pretty much abandoned any hope for a meaningful relationship. 

Gotta tell ya, even in the Bible Belt you shouldn't be having that much trouble. Just hang out around a university town.

Or maybe you don't actually like *other* liberal vegetarian atheists?

 Oh ho ho ho. Reallllly?

P.S. Maybe consider an arm sleeve?
Viin
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Reply #1286 on: August 31, 2018, 01:07:53 PM

Just start chewing and get a big diesel pickup like a real man.

- Viin
Cyrrex
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Reply #1287 on: September 03, 2018, 01:36:25 AM

So at least there is some interest then, good stuff.  In my case, I am not worried so much on any advice on the apps themselves, because living in Denmark means I have access to a few of the popular ones (Match/Tinder) and a few more local ones.  I think some of the general truisms still apply, naturally.

A bit of background.  Divorced back in January of this year.  I actually have had an on/off girlfriend for much of the interim time.  A tall, blond, hyper-intelligent Icelandic girl who is a lawyer, an unbelievably huge nerd and is still completely in love with me.  Most of you would think me crazy for rejecting her, but believe me, she is a handful to deal with.  Anyway, just file that off to the side for now.

As for me, I am a very unusual person, which works both for and against me.  Superficially, I get passed over pretty quickly by most, in that I don't "match" often with women who I would consider well within my league.  I am 45.  I am not tall (about 5'8").  I shave my head bald.  I am probably average looking in the face at best.  My job is boring as fuck, although I make pretty good money.  Divorced.  3 kids.  Not super mobile.  Introverted.  Bit lazy.  A nerd by the definition of most people my age.  Oh, and I tend to not get along with people my age.  On the other side of the coin, I am a far ways above average intelligence.  I am super quick witted and can be charming in a strange way.  I am ridiculously strong & athletic, and I look it.  All of this just to kind of emphasize that I tend to be an oddball as far as matching is concerned, particularly in this strange online world that is so heavily biased towards females.  My standards are pretty high (I barely even look at anyone who isn't in pretty good shape) and perhaps unreasonably so, but on the surface I would get passed over by the ones I am interested in, irrespective of age.

So then.  I have active profiles in a few different places.  It was pretty frustrating in the beginning, because the hits were slow in coming, and some of those were squarely in the "meh" area, where others quickly reveal themselves to be scammers, especially once you figure out their MO.  Things are picking up lately...I have 4 or 5 that I am somewhat actively chatting with.  Oh, and what am I even looking to get out of this?  Honestly, I don't know.  The next love of my life?  Fine.  A new friend or two?  Fine.  A bit of random sex?  Sign me up.  It's all fair game.  I am in the really early stages of this, so this is all terrifyingly new to me.  I had been with my wife for more than 20 years, and the girlfriend I mentioned above was someone I knew from work, so there was no actual dating/courting period.  In other words, I have no fucking idea how to do ANY of this.  So why not share it all with you guys!  It can't possibly go wrong!

For pure entertainment value, I will start posting some of these experiences in subsequent posts.  Feel free to mock, give advice, whatever.
« Last Edit: September 03, 2018, 02:23:14 AM by Cyrrex »

"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
Teleku
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Reply #1288 on: September 03, 2018, 01:55:46 AM

I was posting some of the more amusing Tindr profiles in Laos/Northern Thailand in Discord before.   awesome, for real

Went on a spree when I first got here, but been mostly introverted doing hobby stuff lately.  I’ll probably jump back on the dating bandwagon sometime soonish.

"My great-grandfather did not travel across four thousand miles of the Atlantic Ocean to see this nation overrun by immigrants.  He did it because he killed a man back in Ireland. That's the rumor."
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Cyrrex
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Reply #1289 on: September 03, 2018, 02:16:39 AM

Girl Number 1

GN1 is the only match I have met IRL.  I was surprised when I matched with her initially, because she would be one of the "out of my league" types on the surface of things.  At first, I thought she might be a scammer, but it was on one of the apps that appears to guard best against such things and it didn't really seem to fit the usual Modus Operandi.  I initiated the chat with her - which is something I once found a bit terrifying, but now I am getting quite used to it - and she seemed game.  Found out quickly that she is originally from Lithuania, but she speaks okay Danish and has a Danish passport.  She is 41 and in pretty good shape for her age, and I don't mind telling you that the younger version of her was ridiculously good looking.  She has blond hair, green eyes and that certain eastern european look....oh, and legs that I want to eat for dinner.

Was on her prompting that we actually met.  She wanted to go salsa dancing, but since this is basically the first time in my life that I have ever just up and met a random woman like this, I balked at that idea (plus, like I can fucking dance salsa).  Instead, we did a walkandtalk thing at a local beach.  I met her at a train station...I was in my car and was to pick her up and go from there.  She came via bicycle, and at first I was like shiiiiiiiiit she's good looking.  I mean, she is 41, so it broke down a little once she got a bit closer, but all in all I wasn't complaining.  Did I mention the legs?  So yeah, walked and talked along the beach, dipped toes in the water.  Went and sat at a cafe and chatted.  Her accent is quite strong and she is not great at the language, so I have to resist the temptation to estimate her intelligence on that basis.  I guess the meeting was both awkward and nice at the same time.  Anyway, dropped her off at another train station about two hours later, and thought it was a relatively successful first attempt, but was also prepared that it might end right there.

Some small talk followed that up.  She gave me her Messenger details, so we switch over to using that for communication.  This also gives me access to her Facebook profile, for a bit of superficial investigation.  She expresses some concern that I am still too locked into my relationship with my ex-wife (we are still forced to live together, house sale pending), but we continue to talk a little anyway.  I kind of thought she was losing interest, but she then kind of starts sending me pictures of herself (not dirty ones)...she tends to communicate a lot with pictures and GIFs.  I tell her that I would like to see her again, and then suddenly she goes a bit quiet for a day or two.  Uh oh, I think, I am getting ghosted.  After 2 or 3 days, she picks up the conversation again and says we can probably meet sometime this week. She is once again responding in reasonable fashion.

So at press time, I am consider just how to make that happen.  I am thinking a dinner thing might be appropriate?  She is probably the type that is game for just about anything, as it seems she has about a trillion hobbies.  On the first meeting, we hugged when we said hello, but there was no goodbye hug due to the fact that I had to drop her off at a busy trainstation.  I am thinking that if she is up for a second meeting, then a bit more physical contact would not be out of place, assuming things go well enough.  I tend to err to the side of being respectful about such things.  I will try to set up something over the next few days.

Anyway, this is the most interesting of the current prospects I have.  She lives an annoying distance away, but we both work in the city, generally speaking, so it isn't impossible.  Updates will follow!

"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
Cyrrex
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Reply #1290 on: September 03, 2018, 04:46:34 AM

Girl Number 1 appears to be up for doing something on Wednesday.  It appears the "salsa season" might be over (her first immediate suggestion), so I might have managed to squirm out of that one for the time being.  I don't know if there is some not-so-subtle message I am missing when she keeps mentioning she wants to do salsa with me, but I am nothing if not oblivious.  I countered with Bouldering, but she worries about her arm strength.  Quite the pickle, this.  She might be into trying to go rollerblading, but I don't own any.  There is also a trampoline park, if she is willing to overlook the fact that almost everyone else there is below the age of 15.

"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
Cyrrex
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Reply #1291 on: September 03, 2018, 05:25:09 AM

On to Girl Number 2

GN2 is from China, living in DK and also with a Danish passport, likes to communicate in English.  Again, my alarm bells were up a bit (a similar profile in the past turned out to be a bitcoin scam of some kind, apparently this is a thing now), but this was once again on the secure-ish site and it didn't fit the scammer MO.  She is also 41, with that short, petite asian body that all guys who are into asian girls know all about.  I would say she is handsome looking, somewhat messed up by less than great teeth, but at least in pictures appears to be a pretty decent catch.  She is also a smarty pants like my ex girlfriend, though it remains to be seen if it comes with all the other issues that sometimes follow.  Pretty comfortable at this point that she is not a scammer, as I was able to do a bit of background checking on her once she gave up her first name.  Spoke to her on the phone for about an hour a few days ago.  She is quite direct, but for the most part it was an entertaining conversation.  She is also quite sporty, into things like basketball and baseball, which is something you basically never find around here.  Quite intriguing.  Also lives annoyingly far away, and nowhere close to the big city.

She went silent for a few days.  Thought she was ghosting, but she finally came back today and said she just doesn't like the small chit-chat that often goes on in these dating sites and would prefer more substance to the conversations in general rather than idle crap.  Fair enough.  She also wants to know if I ever want to meet her.  I guess we will have to see what happens to GN1 first, but I am not opposed to the idea.

"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
Rendakor
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Reply #1292 on: September 03, 2018, 07:35:11 AM

Popcorn

I have nothing to contribute, but these stories are entertaining.

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Reply #1293 on: September 03, 2018, 01:17:28 PM

A bit of background.  Divorced back in January of this year.  I actually have had an on/off girlfriend for much of the interim time.  A tall, blond, hyper-intelligent Icelandic girl who is a lawyer, an unbelievably huge nerd and is still completely in love with me.  Most of you would think me crazy for rejecting her

As soon as you said you started dating this person soon after your divorce, I immediately concluded that she would (a) seem too good to be true (b) eventually be revealed to be some kind of dangerous nut.

"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
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Reply #1294 on: September 03, 2018, 02:19:57 PM

It's also possible cyrrex is the bad guy
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