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f13.net  |  f13.net General Forums  |  General Discussion  |  Serious Business  |  Topic: Internet Dating: Everyone's still shallow 0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
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Author Topic: Internet Dating: Everyone's still shallow  (Read 407393 times)
rk47
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The Patron Saint of Radicalthons


Reply #1155 on: January 12, 2012, 12:17:01 AM

Do you want to know more?
Since I gave up on dating, sure!

*Reads in fascination*

This could be inspiring.

Colonel Sanders is back in my wallet
Ironwood
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Reply #1156 on: January 12, 2012, 03:57:30 AM

There's a difference between getting personal about dates you blow and talking about a man's kids. A huge fucking difference.

I lost the child to whom I was a father figure when my partner was damaged by a family tragedy and my health fell apart. We were left unable to help each other and sadly lost our relationship, summed up by you as "a date I blew" and by Ironwood as "she was probably thinking of leaving you anyway".

I implied he spends time here that could be spent with his daughter. It was a nasty personal attack, because I was angry about his unprovoked comment on my loss, followed by continual negativity around my posts. People are welcome to disagree with my posts about online dating, but he's throwing in douche, lack of balls, cockmonkey, after kicking me about my previous relationship.

I apologise for my comment.

I wouldn't worry about it.  It seemed to bother Haemish more than I.  In that I just read it just now and didn't really see it as that offensive.

I will say, however, that there are times when personal stuff gets personal because it's personal, not due to what the other chap is saying.  What you appear to be saying here is 'That situation that I utterly glossed over previously was actually truly heartbreaking and devastating and you guys made comments I took badly because you had no fucking clue about the chasm that exists in my soul.'

To which I'd say, well, yeah;  because we didn't know about the chasm that existed in your soul.  That's kinda how it works.  

In a similar vein, you posted about a date that went badly and summed it up in such a way that it sounded like it was you that not only screwed it up, but then went on to blame her to, you know, her face.  Which I thought was odd.

But this all does, in fact, mean I was right about not liking this thread due to the potential for .... drama.  I'm going to continue to read for the lulz, but I ain't stepping on any more Claymores.


Edited to add :  Now that I think about it, all my posts are done at work.  I guess that's why I'm not bothered about the comment.  My family relationship is fine, but I suspect my employers are getting shafted.   why so serious?
« Last Edit: January 12, 2012, 04:01:51 AM by Ironwood »

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
Merusk
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Reply #1157 on: January 12, 2012, 04:31:46 AM

They give it often enough, they can take it once in a while.   Welcome to the mentality of non-management, 'wood!

The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
Draegan
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Reply #1158 on: January 12, 2012, 06:05:47 AM

The funniest part of this thread recently is HaemishM going cereal for a few posts speaking up for Ironwood.
Ironwood
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Reply #1159 on: January 12, 2012, 06:16:33 AM

Well, I appreciate it, even so.

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
Paelos
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Reply #1160 on: January 12, 2012, 06:38:44 AM

The funniest part of this thread recently is HaemishM going cereal for a few posts speaking up for Ironwood.

When people come after people you like, we all have to hold in the urge to go batshit redneck with a shotgun when you live down here. Some days are better than others. It's one day at a time really.

CPA, CFO, Sports Fan, Game when I have the time
HaemishM
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Reply #1161 on: January 12, 2012, 08:36:06 AM

I saw Ironwood's comments on the whole "she used to be deaf but she didn't tell me thing" as pretty appropriate actually, because it sounded to me like Tale was being a shallow, arrogant twat who didn't want to date someone because that someone didn't tell him she used to be deaf and that's why she talked funny. I can understand if her big reveal was "I used to have a dick" - that's kind of a big deal. Nowhere in any of that discussion did I see any mention of a child or heart-rending ZOMGBROKEMYSOUL history. Maybe I wasn't reading far enough.

Bringing up someone's child by saying "You're a horrible parent for posting on a web forum" is a bit of a no-fly zone for me. The kid did nothing to you and Ironwood said nothing about a kid either. My sperginess is totally related to "don't bring the fucking kids into it." Ironwood doesn't need me defending him and you two can continue to call each whatever names you want - just leave kids out of it.

Also, we need more dating experiences that we can laugh at.  why so serious?

Ironwood
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Reply #1162 on: January 12, 2012, 09:08:34 AM

You could re-read the thread from the start.  That gave me a laugh.

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
HaemishM
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Reply #1163 on: January 12, 2012, 09:33:24 AM

I actually had to go back and see the comment you made that apparently pissed him off - it was startlingly lacking in any sort of information that would lead you to believe a flippant response would get some return vitriol.

But yes, much laughter.

Paelos
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Reply #1164 on: January 12, 2012, 10:08:45 AM

I've got a date on Sunday. So I'll fill you in.

CPA, CFO, Sports Fan, Game when I have the time
NowhereMan
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Reply #1165 on: January 12, 2012, 10:10:47 AM

Honestly I didn't think that being suddenly presented with a disability when you meet someone could throw you enough to make a date awkward. If you've seen photos and communicated via PMs you'll have put together a mental image prior to the meeting and suddenly having a noticable new point appended to that in a somewhat stressful situation (at least I find the beginning of all dates a bit stressful) would probably be enough of a twist to make relaxing and getting to know them a bit harder. It's in no way her fault that she had what amounted to a speech impediment but it's the kind of thing you'd think someone would notice if you've actually talked with them. Maybe she didn't think it was a big deal but, honestly, I think Tale telling her that it could help to let people know beforehand was advice that would help her dating prospects.

Of course then everything got ACK! but I would like to hear more about bra size rated dating escapades.

"Look at my car. Do you think that was bought with the earnest love of geeks?" - HaemishM
Minvaren
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Reply #1166 on: January 12, 2012, 10:36:10 AM

So here's a situation which I'd like some feedback on.

Say you meet someone online.  You exchange a few emails, and have a couple of phone calls, seem to be hitting it off, and decide to meet.  You meet for dinner at a popular, busy restaurant, and are seated at the table.

The first thing your date does is ask to see your driver's license.  You produce it, and they scrutinize it for a full minute before handing it back to you.  Then they pull out a cell phone and ask you to pose for a picture.  They take the picture, spend several minutes forwarding it to several friends/acquaintances/etc. and waiting for their responses.  Then they put their cell phone away and launch into conversation as if nothing had happened.

What is your response to this?  How do you forsee the rest of the date going?

(Yes, this actually happened to me a year ago.  Yes, I'll respond with my response after a couple of others respond.)

"There are many things of which a wise man might wish to remain ignorant." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Ironwood
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Reply #1167 on: January 12, 2012, 10:39:20 AM

"Goodbye you nutter-butter ?"

While I actually might understand the whole 'I want to check that you are you and haven't KILLED the date I'm supposed to have met*', the pic thing is just fucking weird and smacks of 'My friends will show this to the cops if my body shows up'.

I sense she's either had trouble in the past or is a fucking nutter.

*and if you killed him, you'd take his wallet, right ?

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
WayAbvPar
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Reply #1168 on: January 12, 2012, 10:42:50 AM

Run. Even though she is technically just being cautious, this is a huge flag. Either she has had significant issues with this sort of thing in the past (which means she is either crazy, or has some crazy ex's waiting to follow you around, or both), or she lives a life of crippling fear and will be exactly zero fun to be around.

When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM

Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood

Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
Hawkbit
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Reply #1169 on: January 12, 2012, 10:44:10 AM

Yeah, there's supposedly some app you can upload data to that will check by photo if you're in the 'trouble' database.  I understand that they want to know if you are who you say you are, but that's absurd.

The fact that she is forwarding the pic to friends means that she values their opinions more than she values her own.  

Let me guess, either this chick stabbed you in a dark alley after the date, or else you married her.  Both of which have equivalent outcomes, fwiw.
shiznitz
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Reply #1170 on: January 12, 2012, 10:48:03 AM

Run. Even though she is technically just being cautious, this is a huge flag. Either she has had significant issues with this sort of thing in the past (which means she is either crazy, or has some crazy ex's waiting to follow you around, or both), or she lives a life of crippling fear and will be exactly zero fun to be around.

Agree with this.  No one does this normally.  She or a friend had some traumatic experience that makes her distrust men.  Caution is ok, but asking a date to pose for a mug shot is "nutter' (I like this term.)  How do you think a normal woman would react on a first date if you asked for a social security number so that you could run a background check?  

I have never played WoW.
Paelos
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Reply #1171 on: January 12, 2012, 10:51:15 AM

I would politely ask what that was about, shrug and tell her I'm not insane, enjoy my dinner and never see her again.

CPA, CFO, Sports Fan, Game when I have the time
Musashi
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Reply #1172 on: January 12, 2012, 10:53:17 AM

^

AKA Gyoza
Yegolev
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Reply #1173 on: January 12, 2012, 10:53:24 AM

She sounds like a great mystery person to unravel.  License to act weird on your part, also.  Of course, after 13 years of marriage I don't have any danger of becoming unduly attached to anyone should I end up dating again, and admit that I would be in it partially for the spectacle.

Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
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Samwise
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Reply #1174 on: January 12, 2012, 10:53:36 AM

"Goodbye you nutter-butter?"

This.

The driver's license thing on its own would set off my alarm bells because I usually wait to disclose my last name or home address until after at least one date that does not give me psycho stalker vibes.  The camera thing is just nuts.  I might just get up and leave at that point, and immediately begin regretting that I'd let her study my ID.

"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
WayAbvPar
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Reply #1175 on: January 12, 2012, 10:53:39 AM

Alternatively, whip out a banana and ask her to show you her oral sex techniques 'just to be safe'.

When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM

Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood

Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
Yegolev
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Reply #1176 on: January 12, 2012, 10:54:39 AM

The driver's license thing on its own would set off my alarm bells because I usually wait to disclose my last name or home address until after at least one date that does not give me psycho stalker vibes.  The camera thing is just nuts.  I might just get up and leave at that point, and immediately begin regretting that I'd let her study my ID.

In Georgia, I'm allowed to shoot anyone intruding on my property. why so serious?

Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
Paelos
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Reply #1177 on: January 12, 2012, 10:55:04 AM

Alternatively, whip out a banana and ask her to show you her oral sex techniques 'just to be safe'.

Or you can offer her a semen sample for a background check.

CPA, CFO, Sports Fan, Game when I have the time
Musashi
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Reply #1178 on: January 12, 2012, 10:56:08 AM

In fact, demand that she take a semen sample.  For the DNA.

AKA Gyoza
HaemishM
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Reply #1179 on: January 12, 2012, 11:00:46 AM

The camera thing is just nuts.

Maybe she just needed a pic to Photoshop onto the wedding pictures she's cribbed out of all those frames she bought to celebrate your upcoming nuptials.


Murgos
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Reply #1180 on: January 12, 2012, 11:01:32 AM

I have had first dates that went well (not like that, you know hanging out for drinks and chit-chat) and my date has gotten a call at 11pm from a friend to ensure that they are all right.  Checking my license and texting information to friends in case they go missing?  That kind of paranoia doesn't bode well for the future.  I'd leave, but I always did coffee dates first just so I could call it off easily.  Going straight to dinner seems like asking to be miserable most of the time.  Actually, it was a first date dinner situation where she spent most of her time on the phone that pushed me to scale the meetings down to something more casual initially.

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rattran
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Unreasonable


Reply #1181 on: January 12, 2012, 11:18:17 AM

I did end a date in the middle of a meal once by saying "I need to go to my car" and then driving home.
Merusk
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Reply #1182 on: January 12, 2012, 11:18:21 AM

She sounds like a great mystery person to unravel.  License to act weird on your part, also.  Of course, after 13 years of marriage I don't have any danger of becoming unduly attached to anyone should I end up dating again, and admit that I would be in it partially for the spectacle.

Oh good, I was worried it was just me and my recent troubles that have fostered this very mindset.  

The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
Raging Turtle
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Reply #1183 on: January 12, 2012, 11:22:05 AM

Actually, it was a first date dinner situation where she spent most of her time on the phone that pushed me to scale the meetings down to something more casual initially.

That would be more of a deal breaker than the driver's license/picture sharing thing for me.

For the situation being discussed, it'd be several points against her but still depend on how the rest of the date went.  There are some pretty batshit people out there, and her last date may have legitimately scared her.

I may have posted this link here before (3 year old thread!), but it's a good place to read about crazy people without having to experience it yourself: http://www.abadcaseofthedates.com/
01101010
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You call it an accident. I call it justice.


Reply #1184 on: January 12, 2012, 11:40:02 AM

Actually, it was a first date dinner situation where she spent most of her time on the phone that pushed me to scale the meetings down to something more casual initially.

That would be more of a deal breaker than the driver's license/picture sharing thing for me.

For the situation being discussed, it'd be several points against her but still depend on how the rest of the date went.  There are some pretty batshit people out there, and her last date may have legitimately scared her.

I may have posted this link here before (3 year old thread!), but it's a good place to read about crazy people without having to experience it yourself: http://www.abadcaseofthedates.com/


While I may be disappointed with a lack of any activity on my OKC account, I do appreciate more and more that I haven't had any activity on it. Thanks thread people!

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Samwise
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Reply #1185 on: January 12, 2012, 11:43:25 AM


"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
Ironwood
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Reply #1186 on: January 12, 2012, 11:46:21 AM

 Actually, it was a first date dinner situation where she spent most of her time on the phone that pushed me to scale the meetings down to something more casual initially.

Naw.  Just NO.  That's so ignorant it's just not acceptable in any form.  Get tae fuck.

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
HaemishM
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Reply #1187 on: January 12, 2012, 11:55:09 AM

I may have posted this link here before (3 year old thread!), but it's a good place to read about crazy people without having to experience it yourself: http://www.abadcaseofthedates.com/


Oh dear God, it's like looking into the mouth of hell, only I CAN'T LOOK AWAY!!!!!  ACK!

Ironwood
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Reply #1188 on: January 12, 2012, 11:58:32 AM

I might wish to know more about Plato's Beef Philosophy.  It sounds fascinating.

 ACK!

"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
Trippy
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Reply #1189 on: January 12, 2012, 12:21:20 PM

Run. Even though she is technically just being cautious, this is a huge flag. Either she has had significant issues with this sort of thing in the past (which means she is either crazy, or has some crazy ex's waiting to follow you around, or both), or she lives a life of crippling fear and will be exactly zero fun to be around.
Agree with this.  No one does this normally in front of their date.
FIFY why so serious?
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