Parenting Fail

[UnSub]

There's an additional level of fail in that the whores in that part of town are three deep on the pavements and the undercover police are very easy to spot (they're the ones who look like they've eaten in the past few days and don;t have trackmarks on their arms).

I used to live at the end of that street and really, you have to be trying really hard to not find an actual hooker around there.

To be fair, he was trying to pick a clean whore for his son.

Man, that would be a really awkward thing to have to tell the wife, wouldn't it? 

[Nerf]

It still seems like a poor reason to mark him as a "sex offender".  Guys who bang a 17 year old gal at 20 aren't sex offenders, nor is a dad trying to get his kid laid, even if it is  a bit creepy.  He's not a threat to society, he's not peering into windows and beating off in the bushes or raping children, this sort of thing is not what sex offender lists were created for.

Also,

With a son, you just have to worry about one dick.
With a daughter, you have to worry about all of them.

With a daughter, your child will only have to deal with one cunt.
With a son, he'll have to put up with all of them.

[Grimwell]

Revision:
Your son can get a bunch of women pregnant at the same time.
Your daughter can only get pregnant from one idiot at a time.

Having a boy is not always the advantage.

All this talk of disposing the body, you guys are funny. You don't want to kill the boy, you just want to break his mind so hard that he scares the fuck out of all the other boys for you.

My wife used the "Staying the night with...." excuse quite a bit, I did it so I could drink and not much more. One of the sad compromises of parenting is realizing that you are fucked, I did all kinds of foolish things under the cover of daylight :D I can't stop my kids from doing it all, but I can at least make it difficult and combine that with teaching them about the realities of life.

Example, pregnancy:
If you get pregnant with someone, you will have to know them for the rest of your kids life.

[NowhereMan]

My godfather used to spend a lot of time in Africa and has acquired a collection of mounted animal heads and also a stuffed leopard. He takes any potential boyfriends into his study for a chat and points out all the things he's killed and then to an empty spot on the wall, I have no idea if it works for any more than the time it takes the kids to get out the door but it seemed fairly to me.

[Merusk]

Example, pregnancy:
If you get pregnant with someone, you will have to know them for the rest of your kids life.

Not always true.  My nephew's natural dad doesn't know he exists.

[MahrinSkel]

All this talk of disposing the body, you guys are funny. You don't want to kill the boy, you just want to break his mind so hard that he scares the fuck out of all the other boys for you.

Now picture me running through that little "How to" while stripping and cleaning a pump shotgun in front of the daughter's boyfriend.

--Dave

[Pennilenko]

All this talk of disposing the body, you guys are funny. You don't want to kill the boy, you just want to break his mind so hard that he scares the fuck out of all the other boys for you.

Now picture me running through that little "How to" while stripping and cleaning a pump shotgun in front of the daughter's boyfriend.

--Dave

I swear that shit worked for me, when i was 18 i had a 17 year old girlfriend, when she took me to meet her dad he asked if i liked guns, i told him i did very much so he took me to his cabinet and had me help him clean and maintenance several of them. He then said that he bought each of those guns  each time his daughter turned a year older. Said that if anyone ever broke her heart or took advantage of her he would use every one of them on that person. He didn't appear  to be joking and I never took advantage of her or broke her heart.

[NowhereMan]

So what you're saying is you don't know if he was bluffing 

[Grimwell]

Example, pregnancy:
If you get pregnant with someone, you will have to know them for the rest of your kids life.

Not always true.  My nephew's natural dad doesn't know he exists.

Exceptions are life. :D

[Pennilenko]

So what you're saying is you don't know if he was bluffing 

To this day I don't think it was a bluff.

[Venkman]

Cleaning your guns while ruminating about the various ways to dispose of a body is very effective.

--Dave

Favorite movie line ever, and I'm holding it for whatever slightly-less-than-perfect schmuck my future heart crushers bring home: "I've got a 45 and a shovel, and I don't think anyone's going to miss your sorry ass." Paraphrasing, but it was from, err, Clueless I think. Nick Tortelli.

I've got two girls, both very young, but both going to give me a heart attack at some point. When I go though, I'm taking you all with me 

[schild]

Man, I have bad news for all of you parents.

Your sons will fuck who they want. They will do stupid shit and they will let you down.
Your daughters will sleep with guys you don't like. They will do stupid shit and they will let you down.

There are other joys to parenting, but trying to scare teens (particularly these days, look at us) is a fruitless endeavor. The best you can hope for is not to be a grandparent before 50. Beyond that, just pray they don't get as stupid as some of the people you read about on the internet.

[WindupAtheist]

You're gonna show some guy your gun collection while making veiled threats about what you'd do to any scumbag who mistreated your little girl, and then later that night while she's five blocks away with a mouth full of cock you'll sit around thinking that little show made any difference.

[Hindenburg]

You're gonna show some guy your gun collection while making veiled threats about what you'd do to any scumbag who mistreated your little girl, and then later that night while she's five blocks away with a mouth full of cock you'll sit around thinking that little show made any difference.

[Merusk]

Damn, WUA.. that was better than mine.  I was gonna say the next time you're in bed with your wife, remember that's someone's daughter.   Think about every depraved, degrading, sexual kink you've ever gone through.  All someone's daughters and unless you were trolling for skanks, their fathers were probably just like you.

[MahrinSkel]

I was not under the illusion that my little demonstration was going to keep my daughter a virgin.  What it was intended to do was make sure that anything that happened was just as much her idea as his.  He believed he needed her collusion to keep his skin unperforated.  Good enough.

--Dave

[Hindenburg]

Yes, your display prevented the boy from becoming a rapist. Riiight.

[MahrinSkel]

Yes, your display prevented the boy from becoming a rapist. Riiight.

I'll never know, and I'm fine with that.

--Dave

[Endie]

There's an additional level of fail in that the whores in that part of town are three deep on the pavements and the undercover police are very easy to spot (they're the ones who look like they've eaten in the past few days and don;t have trackmarks on their arms).

What struck me is related to this: the guy couldn't be bothered to stump up the cash for an unhurried couple of hours with a decent escort?  I'm not sure that the back of your dad's car with a junkie - even if your dad does go for a walk - is going to produce the best effects.

You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion... [snip]

Nice reference, well chosen and apposite. +Rep.

I was gonna say the next time you're in bed with your wife, remember that's someone's daughter.   Think about every depraved, degrading, sexual kink you've ever gone through.  All someone's daughters...

I don't even have a daughter and I think about that all the time during sex... 

[Bungee]

I like this place. It makes me feel young and optimistic about my life in the next few months time and time again.

[Sir T]

I went to a disco once when I was 15. Hated every minute of it. Came home. End of any dating experiences for the next 9 years, bar occasionally going to a bar when I was in college.

I still have no idea how everyone else manages the things they say they do.

As for this, of course they guy should be put on the sex offenders list. He was trying to arrange for the statutory rape of his son with a half starved junkie.

[schild]

I went to a disco once when I was 15. Hated every minute of it. Came home. End of any dating experiences for the next 9 years

There's a joke to be made here. A pretty hilarious one. But I'll let someone else make it. If they don't in a week, I will.

He was trying to arrange for the statutory rape of his son with a half starved junkie.

Obviously he wasn't. He picked the cleanest hooker and she happened to be a cop. At least he can pick'em.

[Sir T]

I went to a disco once when I was 15. Hated every minute of it. Came home. End of any dating experiences for the next 9 years

There's a joke to be made here. A pretty hilarious one. But I'll let someone else make it. If they don't in a week, I will.

long term verginity guilt trap sprung! 

[schild]

I went to a disco once when I was 15. Hated every minute of it. Came home. End of any dating experiences for the next 9 years

There's a joke to be made here. A pretty hilarious one. But I'll let someone else make it. If they don't in a week, I will.

long term verginity guilt trap sprung! 

Uh, no.

[Sky]

He was trying to arrange for the statutory rape of his son with a half starved junkie.

I particularly enjoy the bit you made up there.

Should have just bought the kid a guitar and some lessons.

[Endie]

I went to a disco once when I was 15. Hated every minute of it. Came home. End of any dating experiences for the next 9 years, bar occasionally going to a bar when I was in college.

There's a club if you'd like to go?  You might meet somebody who really loves you.  So you go and you stand on your own.  And you leave on your own.  And you go home, and you cry and you want to die.

I still have no idea how everyone else manages the things they say they do.

As for this, of course they guy should be put on the sex offenders list. He was trying to arrange for the statutory rape of his son with a half starved junkie.

Use of the term statutory rape is just a way of signalling your outrage, since under English law I believe that the term isn't even used, and that the definition of rape there includes both lack of consent due to its being withheld, or due to the victim being incapable of giving it through incapacity due to age, condition or other reasons (my degree is in Scots law, which is a different jurisdiction).  If a woman has sex with a boy of 14 north or south of the border then she'll normally at worst be charged with the lesser charge of indecent assault.

And I don't subscribe to the idea that some bloke trying to get his son laid with a hooker is morally equivalent to him pimping out his daughter to a paedophile.  I don't think it's terribly healthy, nor do I think it should be legal, but it's on the level of "what an awful parent" rather than "foul sex beast".  I am quite serious when I said that the worst thing about it was him not stumping up the cash to get his poor kid someone likely to be clean of both disease and major opiates.

Oh, and as regards the scare-italics round "say", in my experience most people have done (or would like to do, given the belief they'll not be judged) far more extreme or unusual things than they will talk about with any but those they trust most.  Blokey conversations in the pub don't scratch the surface.

[Hindenburg]

I'm just amazed that soliciting is still outlawed up there.

Use of the term statutory rape is just a way of signalling your outrage, since under English law I believe that the term isn't even used, and that the definition of rape there includes both lack of consent due to its being withheld, or due to the victim being incapable of giving it through incapacity due to age, condition or other reasons (my degree is in Scots law, which is a different jurisdiction).

Presumption of coercion strikes again, I'm afraid.

[Sir T]

There's a club if you'd like to go?  You might meet somebody who really loves you.  So you go and you stand on your own.  And you leave on your own.  And you go home, and you cry and you want to die.

Uh... if what you said made any sense whatsoever i'd comment.  

 If a woman has sex with a boy of 14 north or south of the border then she'll normally at worst be charged with the lesser charge of indecent assault.

And if a guy did it to a girl of that age hed be serving time. And if a mother or father facilitated that you would be screaming from the rafters about child abuse, not seeing this as a joke. Just saying.

{edit}

Use of the term statutory rape is just a way of signalling your outrage, since under English law I believe that the term isn't even used, and that the definition of rape there includes both lack of consent due to its being withheld, or due to the victim being incapable of giving it through incapacity due to age, condition or other reasons (my degree is in Scots law, which is a different jurisdiction).

From wikipedia

The phrase statutory rape is a term used in some legal jurisdictions to describe consensual sexual relations that occur when one participant is below the age required to legally consent to the behavior.[1] Although it usually refers to adults engaging in sex with minors under the age of consent,[1] the age at which individuals are considered competent to give consent to sexual conduct, it is a generic term, and very few jurisdictions use the actual term "statutory rape" in the language of statutes.[2] Different jurisdictions use many different statutory terms for the crime, such as "sexual assault," "rape of a child," "corruption of a minor," "carnal knowledge of a minor," "unlawful carnal knowledge", or simply "carnal knowledge." Statutory rape differs from forcible rape in that overt force or threat need not be present. The laws presume coercion, because a minor or mentally retarded adult is legally incapable of giving consent to the act.

And An oldish article on British law

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/special_report/1999/02/99/e-cyclopedia/437789.stm

[Hindenburg]

And if a guy did it to a girl of that age hed be serving time. And if a mother or father facilitated that you would be screaming from the rafters about child abuse, not seeing this as a joke. Just saying.

If a mother or father facilitated that I wouldn't care. Your example is quite good at showing that yes, virginity for boys and girls is different, and should be treated as such.

[Endie]

There's a club if you'd like to go?  You might meet somebody who really loves you.  So you go and you stand on your own.  And you leave on your own.  And you go home, and you cry and you want to die.

Uh... if what you said made any sense whatsoever i'd comment.  

 If a woman has sex with a boy of 14 north or south of the border then she'll normally at worst be charged with the lesser charge of indecent assault.

And if a guy did it to a girl of that age hed be serving time. And if a mother or father facilitated that you would be screaming from the rafters about child abuse, not seeing this as a joke. Just saying.

{edit}

Use of the term statutory rape is just a way of signalling your outrage, since under English law I believe that the term isn't even used, and that the definition of rape there includes both lack of consent due to its being withheld, or due to the victim being incapable of giving it through incapacity due to age, condition or other reasons (my degree is in Scots law, which is a different jurisdiction).

From wikipedia

The phrase statutory rape is a term used in some legal jurisdictions to describe consensual sexual relations that occur when one participant is below the age required to legally consent to the behavior.[1] Although it usually refers to adults engaging in sex with minors under the age of consent,[1] the age at which individuals are considered competent to give consent to sexual conduct, it is a generic term, and very few jurisdictions use the actual term "statutory rape" in the language of statutes.[2] Different jurisdictions use many different statutory terms for the crime, such as "sexual assault," "rape of a child," "corruption of a minor," "carnal knowledge of a minor," "unlawful carnal knowledge", or simply "carnal knowledge." Statutory rape differs from forcible rape in that overt force or threat need not be present. The laws presume coercion, because a minor or mentally retarded adult is legally incapable of giving consent to the act.

And An oldish article on British law

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/special_report/1999/02/99/e-cyclopedia/437789.stm

Not recognising Morrisey is unforgivable.  Claiming that one of his particular gems "makes no sense" is beyond my ability to sufficiently condemn.

Your second sentence is a non-sequitor, and one where you clearly don't get the whole point of what you edited out.  Or maybe you did get what I said, in which case it makes sense that you'd edit out what I said, since you were just putting it into the language of the tabloid press, to whom "moral equivalence" is far too abstract a concept with which to worry their readers.  Let me commit the sin of quoting myself, just so you can take the time to read it this time:

And I don't subscribe to the idea that some bloke trying to get his son laid with a hooker is morally equivalent to him pimping out his daughter to a paedophile.  I don't think it's terribly healthy, nor do I think it should be legal, but it's on the level of "what an awful parent" rather than "foul sex beast".  I am quite serious when I said that the worst thing about it was him not stumping up the cash to get his poor kid someone likely to be clean of both disease and major opiates.

Your final point seems to consist of taking a wikipedia article that agrees with me and quoting it back at me as some sort of put-down?!?  Not to mention that even I, who don't even use my degree from a different jurisdiction, know that consent law in England was changed substantially a year after your cited article was published.

And while we are at it, you rather undermine your ability to argue with people who know a bit about a topic when you talk about "British" law in an area where the jurisdictions in England and Scotland vary entirely.

Sir T, you're a great guy with a fun personality on TS but (across at least four forums) an awful, awful poster.

[IainC]

There's a club if you'd like to go?  You might meet somebody who really loves you.  So you go and you stand on your own.  And you leave on your own.  And you go home, and you cry and you want to die.

Uh... if what you said made any sense whatsoever i'd comment.  

You need to listen to more Morrissey. Or Tatu if teenage Russian lesbians are more your thing.

[voodoolily]

And I don't subscribe to the idea that some bloke trying to get his son laid with a hooker is morally equivalent to him pimping out his daughter to a paedophile.  I don't think it's terribly healthy, nor do I think it should be legal, but it's on the level of "what an awful parent" rather than "foul sex beast".  I am quite serious when I said that the worst thing about it was him not stumping up the cash to get his poor kid someone likely to be clean of both disease and major opiates.

What if the kid is gay, and the father is trying to "fix" his boy by pushing him into sex with a woman that he paid for? Parents just shouldn't try to manipulate the sexuality of their kids, no matter what. It's fucked up, and it doesn't matter if the kid is male or female.

[Nevermore]

I went to a disco once when I was 15. Hated every minute of it. Came home. End of any dating experiences for the next 9 years, bar occasionally going to a bar when I was in college.

There's a club if you'd like to go?  You might meet somebody who really loves you.  So you go and you stand on your own.  And you leave on your own.  And you go home, and you cry and you want to die.

Now see, I thought he'd burn down the disco.  Hang the blessed DJ.  Because the music they constantly play, says nothing to him about his life.

[Hindenburg]

What if the kid is gay, and the father is trying to "fix" his boy by pushing him into sex with a woman that he paid for? Parents just shouldn't try to manipulate the sexuality of their kids, no matter what. It's fucked up, and it doesn't matter if the kid is male or female.

Oh come on, leave your puritanism at the door if you're gonna argue sexual crimes. Parents have always done so under the guise of marriage, which was, frankly, way worse. Does that make it right? Not really, no. Does that make it wrong? I don't know. Sure as hell beats marriage at an early age, or the bestial alternative.   

[Grimwell]

Damn, WUA.. that was better than mine.  I was gonna say the next time you're in bed with your wife, remember that's someone's daughter.   Think about every depraved, degrading, sexual kink you've ever gone through.  All someone's daughters and unless you were trolling for skanks, their fathers were probably just like you.

Those thoughts are half the fun of the depraved acts man...

You both miss the point though. I know my kids are going to do stupid things that I'd prefer they don't. That's part of being a kid. Part of being a parent is making it harder to do those stupid things. My son and daughters are all going to drink, fight, and fuck (to quote a fun song) -- that's part of the experience of growing up. I'm going to try to provide as many safety nets as possible -- from sharing wisdoms, preventing them from sneaking out by the same means that I did, educating them about things like pregnancy and STD's, and scaring the fuck out of lowlife scumbag punks that stop by and try to date my girls.

It's my job and a badge of honor.

Just because they are going to invariably end up drunk, stoned, and fucking (all 3 of them, each in their own way) does not mean I should go out of my way to make it easy and be the parent that says "I can't stop it so I might as well help!" -- no thanks. Plus, scaring teen aged punks is fun for me. Why rob myself of that simple pleasure?