f13.net

Father takes 14 year old son out to lose his virginity, picks wrong girl (http://www.thisisnottingham.co.uk/court/Dad-s-prostitute-present-14-year-old-sonarticle-912099-details/article.html).

I would comment, but since I don't have a child myself I don't think I'm allowed.

I don't think you need to be a parent to have an opinion on attempting to arrange the statutory rape of one's kid.

I don't think you're allowed either.  At least for another few months.   :grin:  YOU DON'T KNOW HOW IT IS!!!

Further proof that we need some sort of system that can sterilize people until they can prove some sort of readiness. I'm only half joking.

Hasn't this been done from the dawn of time?

Nope, considering I had to find my own hookers.  :grin:

There's an additional level of fail in that the whores in that part of town are three deep on the pavements and the undercover police are very easy to spot (they're the ones who look like they've eaten in the past few days and don;t have trackmarks on their arms).

I used to live at the end of that street and really, you have to be trying really hard to not find an actual hooker around there.

He should have paid for a trip to Nevada. /fail

My kid is on his own. I'm not helping, or encouraging it. I'm telling lies about all the bad things that happen.

Ok, maybe not. Maybe I'm just trying to equip him with smarts and the ability to make wise decisions.

My daughters aren't old enough for me to worry over yet, and when they are I'll just shoot any male who approaches them. I think that's pretty fool proof.  :grin:

I'm pretty sure your daughters are older than mine is, Grim.  It is time to worry.

They still measure their years in single digits. For the moment I'm safe.

Hm yeah, guess they are younger.  Mine's 11 this year, she's already having "the talks" with her mother because talking to dad is too embarrassing.  Oh joy, oh joy.

thats about the time i'll be grinding up the pill into her cheerios

Oh my god, that is an awesome idea.

My current strategy mainly involves making my daughter wear sweat pants and running shoes.

CCW's are not allowed in Canada so I am really starting to get worried about the future.

Cleaning your guns while ruminating about the various ways to dispose of a body is very effective.

--Dave

In my experience, horny teenage boyfriends love sweatpants on their girls.  Pants and belts, however, suck.

Just throwing that out there.

My dad didn't let me date, or talk to boys on the phone, or wear makeup until I was 16. He also used to have my little brother keep an eye on me.

...and how did you circumvent that anyway?

Seriously. My parents did a lot to keep me well behaved, and still failed because you can't stop everything your kids are going to think of. That noted, I remember everything I did, so the kids have to think up new things. Knowing what you did to  break those rules would help me know what to watch for with my girls. ;P

Can't you just GPS-chip your kids these days and hook them up to RSS feeds so you always know where they are?

I'm glad I have a boy.  Also, he's on his own when it comes to getting sex.

Why did the sergeat sound happy about making the father be registered as a sex offender?

You guys keep talking - I'm still measuring my daughter's age in months, but I'm still taking notes.

I only lied once to sneak out with a boy, but it was only to see a matinee. "I'm invited to stay at [random girlfriend]'s house tonight. Is that okay?" actually granted me much more freedom than they ever realized - it was usually a girl whose parents didn't have a set curfew, so even though I was technically staying at her house we stayed out until the wee hours. They might have suspected I was up to shenanigans, but I was still bringing home the grades and awards, so maybe it didn't matter. Most of the times I kissed boys was during summer breaks, during the day. One time I snuck out of my room at night but I was so paranoid about my dad catching me that I didn't have any fun and I snuck back in after less than an hour.

My dad also wouldn't let me get a driver's license. Also, I had a 10:00 curfew my junior year and an 11:00 curfew during my senior year.

Not quite.  The smallest GPS/Cellular combo system (http://www.brickhousesecurity.com/small-real-time-gps-tracking.html) available commercially is about the same size as a clamshell phone and needs regular recharging (or hardwiring into a power supply).  Of course, every major cellular provider will (for an additional fee) provide tracking of their cell phones, and the kids are more likely to walk out the door without their pants than without their phones.

--Dave (not that I've researched this, or anything)

EDIT: Apparently, there's a new product with a device the size of a matchbook (http://www.amberalertgps.com/faq.html), specifically marketed for tracking children.  With a little ingenuity you could embed it in a thick-soled shoe, and I have little doubt that you'll soon see shoes for sale that have them built-in.

And before they're even on the shelf, there'll be links up one side of the interwebs, and down the other on how to circumvent them.

Fortunately, I have a son, not a daughter.  Still, knowing how I was as a kid, the best I can hope is to instill some common sense in the boy, and hope for the best. 

They make them for pets (http://www.agri-med.com/site/255063/page/508594), so I'm sure they can be used in kids. They get injected under the skin.

Oh nevermind, that's only good for kids/pets that get picked up, not for tracking their location.

Even if they did, I fooled around more AT my girlfriend's places than I ever did at random places in cars or outdoors. While their parents were home, no less.

Co-ed sports like swimming and band trips are also a no-no if you're going to be paranoid about it.  Hell, just send them to an all girls school but be prepared for them to slut it up in college.

Man, all this talk just makes me wish I had even Tried to do "bad things" as a kid. I just had no desire to, or I just had no course of action available to me.

Hell, by the time I was 13, I didn't have any sort of curfew. Lot of good that did me. :oh_i_see:

With a son, you just have to worry about one dick.
With a daughter, you have to worry about all of them.

My dad's authoritarian hand never really felt like it was something to fight against until I moved out.  My sister was banging her boyfriend on the couch in the living room with my parents home while I wasn't allowed to date.  So I just never did.  It made me the well-rounded individual I am today.

I'm glad I won't have any kids to have to worry about it.  I would have a breakdown trying to reconcile my views with trying to keep them from making the many, many stupid mistakes my friends did.  (I was far too boring to have my own mistakes to let them learn from. *sigh*)

Box springs from a bed frame.  You sandwich the (unconscious / dead) person between  two of them and wire them together.  They act simultaneously as a restraint, carrying handle, and ballast.

Well, if you've got time to prepare, cremation is really the way to go.  If you don't have access to a mortuary crematorium, one for animals will do (most agricultural vets and factory hog farms will have one), or a biohazard waste incinerator.  In a pinch you can use a large pottery kiln, but you'll need a way of draining off the rendered fat without setting it on fire immediately, you probably would have to bake at 500 for a day or so until all the fat and moisture is gone before cranking it up above a thousand for about 6 hours, and the barbecue smell is going to carry a long way.  You'll still have bones (reduced to calcium carbonate and brittle) and any metallic implants and dental work (make sure to separate those out, they often have ID numbers that can be traced), but those are comparatively easy to deal with.

There's always the old-school "sleep with the fishes", but don't go cliche with the cement overshoes.  The body rots and bloats up and the bones of the feet pull right out or separate, and then you've got a floater.  If you can't encase the body completely in concrete, then wrap it in a few layers of wide-mesh chicken wire and securely wire about 40-50 pounds worth of iron weights to it.  Chicken wire lets the worms and fish get in there, and a couple of years in a biologically active body of water will take care of the problem.  Oh, make sure you undress the body, and if you wrapped it in plastic make plenty of cuts right before you sink it.

In a pinch a large freezer can buy you time to come up with something more permanent, but make sure you arrange things so the posture the body freezes in is a convenient one for later handling (don't forget the clothes!), and if it's not frost-free you need the plastic wrap again (actually a good idea in general, dead bodies tend to leak even if they don't have extra holes in them).

Wood chipper into a stream is always a decent option, but it can be amazingly difficult to find a running stream where you can work un-observed for the 2 hours or so you'll need, and you'll have to prepare the body into chunks that can fit (getting the pelvis to that point is going to take some serious saw or axe work).  And it's nearly impossible to get every fragment out of the machine, so you're going to need to dispose of that as well.

Now, I've heard that an industrial size sausage grinder can take care of a body in a real hurry, then you just flush the resulting paste down the sewers.  But that's a little gross and if they've got a titanium screw in their leg or something, the machine is going to jam up.  How are you going to explain *that* to the repair guys?

--Dave

Pig farm, dude. Pig farm.

You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

To be fair, he was trying to pick a clean whore for his son.

Man, that would be a really awkward thing to have to tell the wife, wouldn't it?  :why_so_serious:

It still seems like a poor reason to mark him as a "sex offender".  Guys who bang a 17 year old gal at 20 aren't sex offenders, nor is a dad trying to get his kid laid, even if it is  a bit creepy.  He's not a threat to society, he's not peering into windows and beating off in the bushes or raping children, this sort of thing is not what sex offender lists were created for.

Also,

With a daughter, your child will only have to deal with one cunt.
With a son, he'll have to put up with all of them.

Revision:
Your son can get a bunch of women pregnant at the same time.
Your daughter can only get pregnant from one idiot at a time.

Having a boy is not always the advantage.

All this talk of disposing the body, you guys are funny. You don't want to kill the boy, you just want to break his mind so hard that he scares the fuck out of all the other boys for you.

My wife used the "Staying the night with...." excuse quite a bit, I did it so I could drink and not much more. One of the sad compromises of parenting is realizing that you are fucked, I did all kinds of foolish things under the cover of daylight :D I can't stop my kids from doing it all, but I can at least make it difficult and combine that with teaching them about the realities of life.

Example, pregnancy:
If you get pregnant with someone, you will have to know them for the rest of your kids life.

My godfather used to spend a lot of time in Africa and has acquired a collection of mounted animal heads and also a stuffed leopard. He takes any potential boyfriends into his study for a chat and points out all the things he's killed and then to an empty spot on the wall, I have no idea if it works for any more than the time it takes the kids to get out the door but it seemed fairly :awesome_for_real: to me.

Not always true.  My nephew's natural dad doesn't know he exists.

Now picture me running through that little "How to" while stripping and cleaning a pump shotgun in front of the daughter's boyfriend.

--Dave

I swear that shit worked for me, when i was 18 i had a 17 year old girlfriend, when she took me to meet her dad he asked if i liked guns, i told him i did very much so he took me to his cabinet and had me help him clean and maintenance several of them. He then said that he bought each of those guns  each time his daughter turned a year older. Said that if anyone ever broke her heart or took advantage of her he would use every one of them on that person. He didn't appear  to be joking and I never took advantage of her or broke her heart.

So what you're saying is you don't know if he was bluffing  :grin:

Exceptions are life. :D

To this day I don't think it was a bluff.

Favorite movie line ever, and I'm holding it for whatever slightly-less-than-perfect schmuck my future heart crushers bring home: "I've got a 45 and a shovel, and I don't think anyone's going to miss your sorry ass." Paraphrasing, but it was from, err, Clueless I think. Nick Tortelli.

I've got two girls, both very young, but both going to give me a heart attack at some point. When I go though, I'm taking you all with me  :drill:

Man, I have bad news for all of you parents.

Your sons will fuck who they want. They will do stupid shit and they will let you down.
Your daughters will sleep with guys you don't like. They will do stupid shit and they will let you down.

There are other joys to parenting, but trying to scare teens (particularly these days, look at us) is a fruitless endeavor. The best you can hope for is not to be a grandparent before 50. Beyond that, just pray they don't get as stupid as some of the people you read about on the internet.

You're gonna show some guy your gun collection while making veiled threats about what you'd do to any scumbag who mistreated your little girl, and then later that night while she's five blocks away with a mouth full of cock you'll sit around thinking that little show made any difference.

:heart: :heart: :heart:

Damn, WUA.. that was better than mine.  I was gonna say the next time you're in bed with your wife, remember that's someone's daughter.   Think about every depraved, degrading, sexual kink you've ever gone through.  All someone's daughters and unless you were trolling for skanks, their fathers were probably just like you.

I was not under the illusion that my little demonstration was going to keep my daughter a virgin.  What it was intended to do was make sure that anything that happened was just as much her idea as his.  He believed he needed her collusion to keep his skin unperforated.  Good enough.

--Dave

Yes, your display prevented the boy from becoming a rapist. Riiight.

I'll never know, and I'm fine with that.

--Dave

What struck me is related to this: the guy couldn't be bothered to stump up the cash for an unhurried couple of hours with a decent escort?  I'm not sure that the back of your dad's car with a junkie - even if your dad does go for a walk - is going to produce the best effects.


Nice reference, well chosen and apposite. +Rep.


I don't even have a daughter and I think about that all the time during sex...  :awesome_for_real:

I like this place. It makes me feel young and optimistic about my life in the next few months time and time again.

I went to a disco once when I was 15. Hated every minute of it. Came home. End of any dating experiences for the next 9 years, bar occasionally going to a bar when I was in college.

I still have no idea how everyone else manages the things they say they do.

As for this, of course they guy should be put on the sex offenders list. He was trying to arrange for the statutory rape of his son with a half starved junkie.

There's a joke to be made here. A pretty hilarious one. But I'll let someone else make it. If they don't in a week, I will.


Obviously he wasn't. He picked the cleanest hooker and she happened to be a cop. At least he can pick'em.

long term verginity guilt trap sprung!  :why_so_serious:

Uh, no.

:oh_i_see:

I particularly enjoy the bit you made up there.

Should have just bought the kid a guitar and some lessons.

There's a club if you'd like to go?  You might meet somebody who really loves you.  So you go and you stand on your own.  And you leave on your own.  And you go home, and you cry and you want to die.


Use of the term statutory rape is just a way of signalling your outrage, since under English law I believe that the term isn't even used, and that the definition of rape there includes both lack of consent due to its being withheld, or due to the victim being incapable of giving it through incapacity due to age, condition or other reasons (my degree is in Scots law, which is a different jurisdiction).  If a woman has sex with a boy of 14 north or south of the border then she'll normally at worst be charged with the lesser charge of indecent assault.

And I don't subscribe to the idea that some bloke trying to get his son laid with a hooker is morally equivalent to him pimping out his daughter to a paedophile.  I don't think it's terribly healthy, nor do I think it should be legal, but it's on the level of "what an awful parent" rather than "foul sex beast".  I am quite serious when I said that the worst thing about it was him not stumping up the cash to get his poor kid someone likely to be clean of both disease and major opiates.

Oh, and as regards the scare-italics round "say", in my experience most people have done (or would like to do, given the belief they'll not be judged) far more extreme or unusual things than they will talk about with any but those they trust most.  Blokey conversations in the pub don't scratch the surface.

I'm just amazed that soliciting is still outlawed up there.


Presumption of coercion strikes again, I'm afraid.

Uh... if what you said made any sense whatsoever i'd comment.  :uhrr:


And if a guy did it to a girl of that age hed be serving time. And if a mother or father facilitated that you would be screaming from the rafters about child abuse, not seeing this as a joke. Just saying.

{edit}


From wikipedia


And An oldish article on British law

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/special_report/1999/02/99/e-cyclopedia/437789.stm

If a mother or father facilitated that I wouldn't care. Your example is quite good at showing that yes, virginity for boys and girls is different, and should be treated as such.

Not recognising Morrisey is unforgivable.  Claiming that one of his particular gems "makes no sense" is beyond my ability to sufficiently condemn.

Your second sentence is a non-sequitor, and one where you clearly don't get the whole point of what you edited out.  Or maybe you did get what I said, in which case it makes sense that you'd edit out what I said, since you were just putting it into the language of the tabloid press, to whom "moral equivalence" is far too abstract a concept with which to worry their readers.  Let me commit the sin of quoting myself, just so you can take the time to read it this time:


Your final point seems to consist of taking a wikipedia article that agrees with me and quoting it back at me as some sort of put-down?!?  Not to mention that even I, who don't even use my degree from a different jurisdiction, know that consent law in England was changed substantially a year after your cited article was published.

And while we are at it, you rather undermine your ability to argue with people who know a bit about a topic when you talk about "British" law in an area where the jurisdictions in England and Scotland vary entirely.

Sir T, you're a great guy with a fun personality on TS but (across at least four forums) an awful, awful poster.

You need to listen to more Morrissey. Or Tatu if teenage Russian lesbians are more your thing.

What if the kid is gay, and the father is trying to "fix" his boy by pushing him into sex with a woman that he paid for? Parents just shouldn't try to manipulate the sexuality of their kids, no matter what. It's fucked up, and it doesn't matter if the kid is male or female.

Now see, I thought he'd burn down the disco.  Hang the blessed DJ.  Because the music they constantly play, says nothing to him about his life.

Oh come on, leave your puritanism at the door if you're gonna argue sexual crimes. Parents have always done so under the guise of marriage, which was, frankly, way worse. Does that make it right? Not really, no. Does that make it wrong? I don't know. Sure as hell beats marriage at an early age, or the bestial alternative.   :oh_i_see:

Those thoughts are half the fun of the depraved acts man...

You both miss the point though. I know my kids are going to do stupid things that I'd prefer they don't. That's part of being a kid. Part of being a parent is making it harder to do those stupid things. My son and daughters are all going to drink, fight, and fuck (to quote a fun song) -- that's part of the experience of growing up. I'm going to try to provide as many safety nets as possible -- from sharing wisdoms, preventing them from sneaking out by the same means that I did, educating them about things like pregnancy and STD's, and scaring the fuck out of lowlife scumbag punks that stop by and try to date my girls.

It's my job and a badge of honor.

Just because they are going to invariably end up drunk, stoned, and fucking (all 3 of them, each in their own way) does not mean I should go out of my way to make it easy and be the parent that says "I can't stop it so I might as well help!" -- no thanks. Plus, scaring teen aged punks is fun for me. Why rob myself of that simple pleasure?

I think it is more a matter of knowing you cant stop their actions so you try to create an environment where your children feel free to discuss those parts of their life. A male sibling is much more effective at threatening random punks. A fathers disdain will only motivate their daughter to get naked that much faster. An older brother who will actually curb stomp you works out much better.

Just put them in this:

(http://farm1.static.flickr.com/44/142283712_6a6762c14b.jpg?v=0)

PROTIP: nothing scares the shit out of a kid more than a father who's trying to be hip.

Correction.

That was my experience at least  :awesome_for_real:.

I question the notion that said lowlife punks are really going to be that impressed by someone doing the whole "don't fuck muh little girl, I own a gun, stupid-worried-dad-on-a-sitcom" routine.

I think guns are out of fashion at this point to be honest. They know you aren't going to shoot them so you can avoid jail. I prefer methods like dropping $100 in cash on the coffee table and saying: "See that? If I wanted to buy some kids your age to kick your ass, how many do you think it would get? Hurt my daughter and we will find out."

Just as juvenile, but a bit easier to suspend disbelief on.

Though pretending I'm cool and making them uncomfortable would be funny too. Show up at their hangouts all emo and pretend to be their buddy. Win.

Or you could just call the boy's parents and tell them he's trying to stick his dick somewhere you don't approve.

Voodoolily, since you are asking me to clarify for wildly different situations when I was discussing merely changing the sex of the participants, I suppose I should clarify that I would also consider it wrong if the father was trying to force his child of either gendern whether straight, gay, lesbian or transgendered, to have sex against their will with someone or something, mineral, vegetable or particularly animal, or with ronald reagan's corpse, or with the entire crew of the USS Nimitz, or my mum, or with a strawman.  Particularly with a strawman.

That's pretty much the crux.

yeah the sweatpants and running shoes is throwing me off.  Is that supposed to enable to run like the wind away from boys?  Or is it supposed to make her less attractive?  As a former horny teenage boy, sweatpants and summer dresses were great.

I only have a nephew, which I get to corrupt with heavy metal.. I wish those of you with daughters the best of luck.

Large brothers & cousins are the way to go, if your daughter happens to have them.  Preferably in a small town where everyone always knows what everyone is up to, and nobody will say anything if someone crosses the line and has an "accident" out in the back 40 (arranged by said brothers/cousins).

Won't stop the sex, but the boy will respect the girl.  Or suffer for it.

By the same logic, the girl would also hesitate to report any abuse, especially if it's a religious community.

You appear to know nothing of the inner workings of small towns.  Particularly kids in those towns.

Religious or not (and it's not), they're having sex.  And the kids know who's having sex with whom, and generally what went on, whether you want them to or not.

That is the same logic?

Gosh you people are very protective of your daughters.  I'm sure you know this already, but I'm just going to mention it anyway.  In today's hypersexualised culture they're out there re-enacting porn movies first chance they get. 

I laugh every time I hear that line.

I was a kid in those small towns. The chil'ren know, the adults take quite a bit more time to end up knowing, and are usually left completely in the dark.

Serious mass generalisation there, are you inferring parents should be less protective of their daughters cause it's probably going to happen anyway? If so, though I'm sure you are just being perfunctory, it's kind of like saying police shouldn't attempt to prevent crime cause criminals are gonna break the law anyway.

Nope, what I'm saying is a lot deeper than that.  I'm mildly amused by all the (doubtless humourously exaggerated in most cases) rawr-rawr-so-angry threats about teenaged boys who might try and touch peoples' precious daughters.  If your defence against people seducing little Clara is threats to the boys (or making her dress a certain way) then you lost the battle a decade ago.  Because if she's been watching television and listening to music and absorbing the values of our culture for the last few years then she's already going to fuck the first boy/guy who perms any two from witty/attractive/persuasive/rich/smart.

I hate you all.

He should have planned a weekend in Amsterdam. A street walker? Not very concerned for his lad's health it would seem.

Seems Nevada would have been a better option...cheaper, anyway.  I think.  How much do Nevada hoes go for anyway?  Wouldn't they likely also be cleaner?

Not if you live in Nottingham.

There are clean(er) whores in Nottingham anyway, you'd have to be really desperate to go near the street girls in Mapperly. If you really want to pay for it and don't fancy the whole 'getting arrested for kerbcrawling and/or having your dick turn green and fall off' thing, then go to the classifieds in the back of the paper and get an escort from an agency. Much less chance of something going horribly wrong for your 14 year old son's first taste of womanflesh.

Oh, oops.  Got it in my mind somehow that this happened on the US's West Coast.

We should probably get this stuff into the F13 wiki as a resource for concerned fathers unsure of how to go about stopping their teenaged sons being so bloody miserable.

This is another reason my son is on his own in getting sex.  Maybe he like fat chicks, maybe he likes dudes.  Can't say at this point but in any case it's his problem.

Also, I'm hoping for and will encourage Great Things from the boy, but in the end if he turns out less than he could have been, if he's happy then that's all I am concerned about.  Hanging onto some ideal plan for your own life is bad enough, doing so for someone else is a surefire route to disappointment.

Hence why brothers/cousins are the better choice than dad.  They're not going to stop your daughter from having sex (cause, y'know, they're trying to have sex with someone else's sister too) but they'll know if someone is a jackass to her.

Should just give her a deringer.  :oh_i_see:

I'm all for teaching daughters how to shoot.  You can't stop sex, but you can make sure her boyfriend knows he has to worry about her when he breaks her heart.  And after the first the others will be really skittish. :drillf:

There was nothing Puritan about my comment, my point was that that parents shouldn't meddle with the sex lives of their kids. By "manipulate", I was referring to the dad interfering with his son's virginity, not his sexual preference. The term "sexuality" doesn't infer homosexuality. 

And what part of my post makes you think that I was talking about gay folk?

What is it that you're saying parents have always done under the guise of marriage?

Getting children to fuck at an early age.

Problem is, even here in a solidly red state like Idaho it's illegal for the kiddies to possess a handgun.  After she shot the guy, I'd have to worry about all the prison sex she was getting down at ye olde juvenile facility :ye_gods:

Wonder if I could attach one of these (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reactive_armour) to her to prevent penetration by "shaped charges"  :grin:

I don't think this is why parents marry off their children, but then again, I'm  not from a small town.

A side effect of having the lil' debutant marry the not-so-rich-but-still-reasonably-wealthy farmer.

Nicholas Cage showed us an alternative to that in the epic romance Face Off.

...running in slo-mo through a flock of doves?

Thank you.  I'm totally stealing this idea. 

Sticking a switchblade in their leg and twisting it.

Saw this on Yahoo! News the other day - unlike other news sources, they highlighted the fact that the dad was a Polish national. Cultural differences? I don't know.


You shut your mouth!

For those who've never encountered Morrissey before, this is all you need to know (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z20UYhP8vIQ).

Every unmarried, childless 20-something that has ever posted on an Internet message board thinks they are gunna be totally cool and totally raise their kid without any of those quaint rules that Bible-thumpers have bogusly imposed on society to totally restrict creativity and wonder.

...then said person actually HAS a kid, and having at least a few rules suddenly becomes more attractive than using the kid as a political platform to rage against tha machine. 

EDIT:  Not saying hardcore authoritarianism in parenting is good either (I saw those kids in college, and they went off the other deep end within the first month), but the Internet Parental Libertarian routine is also pretty damn retarded.  Being somewhere in the middle is usually best.

My son is three and my daughter is one.

I have absolutely no fucking idea what I'm going to do when they start dating - I'm going to leave that to their mother. The only thing I'm in charge of is their music and film educations.

My main concern is about when my daughter is 18 and brings her friends around and how I can avoid feeling like some middle-aged, lecherous old perv.  :pedobear:

All of the kids i grew up with with somewhat irresponsible parents (not neglectful) that allowed tons of freedom. Ended up pretty well adjusted. The kids i knew from private school with extremely repressive parents where all kinds of fucked up. I personally cant even attempt to say what i would do with my own children.

This came up recently with a friend of mine whom I've known for 10 years, and his sister since she was 8. Now she's 18 and her little friends that just graduated high school like to head up to the lake with us late 20s folk to my friend's house. I tend to just avoid them because they are incredibly annoying, and I try to play defense with our alcohol supply. Half because they are underage and half because IT'S MY BOOZE DAMMIT.

Honest moment about daughters and the admission that you can't control/prevent/stop them from doing everything you'd like them not to:

I'm not 100% sure if/when I will tell them this but I am seriously debating paraphrasing the following to them before they start dating.

I'd prefer it if you didn't take any nude pictures of yourself and send them to your boyfriends; or allow anyone to take nude pictures of you. While you may not want to  believe me, at some point that guy is going to post them on the internet and embarrass you with them. That's what happens with nude pictures. I can't stop you from doing this if you really want to, but I would prefer that you listened to me and didn't.

If you ignore this suggestion, please plan on being found naked on the internet. In that event, instead of letting some douchebag post your pictures for free, why not wait until you are 18 and get paid for it? Not that I want you to do that, but if you are going to ignore me and have naked pictures anyway, at least profit from them.

Yeah, I'd pay for that.

 :why_so_serious:

Can't we just get a fapping Daffy emoticon?

Alternatively show them 4Chan and tell them that is where any naked pictures of them will end up. Of course if you really fuck they may well be posting naked pics of themselves there at some point. The warning should definitely involve, "And some weird freaks may find out where you live and post those pictures all over your school. If that happens don't say I didn't warn you." Which of course would be no help if they're stupid enough to do it but at least you might feel mildly vindicated?

The problem with that is if I use 4chan as the tool it could be the wrong day. Racsim, fucking gross corpses, and all kinds of other things are better for my kids peers to introduce them to than me.

That is completely fair game. Young but not extremely inappropriate, well obviously don't dick the little sister.

Yes, well that's a given.

Web cache.

This thread reminds me of an old PLIF comic.

(http://www.thenonentity.com/wc241.gif)

Time's up.

You know, most days I think you went to an english class once when you were 15 and hated every minute of that and it ended any experiences with proper grammar, argument, and spelling for the next 9 years.