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Topic: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (Read 97619 times)
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Nerf
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2421
The Presence of Your Vehicle Has Been Documented
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My nerdrage is directed solely at the voice of cobra commander. He's not fucking darth vader, it's a shrill, yelly voice. Fuuuuuck you hollywood.
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Murgos
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7474
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Ice floats.
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"You have all recieved youre last warning. I am in the process of currently tracking all of youre ips and pinging your home adressess. you should not have commencemed a war with me" - Aaron Rayburn
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AutomaticZen
Terracotta Army
Posts: 768
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My nerdrage is directed solely at the voice of cobra commander. He's not fucking darth vader, it's a shrill, yelly voice. Fuuuuuck you hollywood.
Actually, the best part is he did the voice spot on when he took off the breather.
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Cyrrex
Terracotta Army
Posts: 10603
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Ice floats.
Yeah, I had to turn my brain off for that part. Told myself that all the huge slabs of ice must have been weighed down by all manner of machinery.
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"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
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Murgos
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7474
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I tried that. I was all like, "Shut up brain, it's full of steel conduit." and then my brain was all like, "You mean air bubbles?"
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"You have all recieved youre last warning. I am in the process of currently tracking all of youre ips and pinging your home adressess. you should not have commencemed a war with me" - Aaron Rayburn
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Cyrrex
Terracotta Army
Posts: 10603
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Yeah, well maybe those air bubbles were packed with some invisible gas that's far heavier than regular air? OMG WAIT. They were also crawling with invisible nano-mites, and those things are pure metal.
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"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
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Bunk
Contributor
Posts: 5828
Operating Thetan One
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Ok, shut up all of you. This was an asskicker popcorn movie, with hot chicks fighting each other, and just barely not too much Marlon Wayans.
Really though, I quite enjoyed it. While it was full of braindead moments, I liked the fact that they tried to have an explanation or motivation behind each character, especially the bad guys - except maybe Zartan, who's motivation seemed to be that he liked stabbing people.
I think the biggest suprise for me was how much I didn't care for Eccelston, who I've loved in everything else he's done. I really think it was the atrocious accent.
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"Welcome to the internet, pussy." - VDL "I have retard strength." - Schild
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Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240
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Yes.
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"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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Cyrrex
Terracotta Army
Posts: 10603
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Ok, shut up all of you. This was an asskicker popcorn movie, with hot chicks fighting each other, and just barely not too much Marlon Wayans.
Despite making fun of the falling ice chunks, I agree with you. I liked this movie a surprising amount. Also, isn't that what a Scottish accent is supposed to sound like? /runsforthehills
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"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
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Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240
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Watch Stargate Atlantis. Watch the Doctor.
That's what it sounds like.
For special kicks, track down the episode where they're 'writing home' to love ones through the compression video camera. See how he reacts when talking to his mum ? That's what Scottish people sound AND feel like.
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"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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Broughden
Terracotta Army
Posts: 3232
I put the 'shill' in 'cockmonkey'.
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Went last night with the wife. Well as the token guy who normally likes all the explosion filled pop corn movies... I didnt really like this. I didnt not like but was more "meh" as an over all feeling about it.
The CG sucked. Flat out sucked. And normally Im not one to get all nerd bitchy about shit like that. That first scene where the Osprey jet rip offs were hovering down into the giant mechanical asshole in the sand...that couldnt have gotten any worse. There were a few scenes like that where the awfulness of the CG just leapt out at me.
Baroness versus Scarlett.......Scarlett wins hands down. Holy shit her red-haired-giant-tittiness had me turned on when the wife and I got home last night.
The sequel should be GI Joe: Scarlett in the Bikini Battle
Fake edit- Why doesnt spellcheck like "leapt"? Its a word.
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The wave of the Reagan coalition has shattered on the rocky shore of Bush's incompetence. - Abagadro
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Broughden
Terracotta Army
Posts: 3232
I put the 'shill' in 'cockmonkey'.
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Lust is thy name.....
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The wave of the Reagan coalition has shattered on the rocky shore of Bush's incompetence. - Abagadro
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Ironwood
Terracotta Army
Posts: 28240
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Yum.
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"Mr Soft Owl has Seen Some Shit." - Sun Tzu
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Cyrrex
Terracotta Army
Posts: 10603
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The average ginger just doesn't do it for me, but this is the clear exception to the rule. And she cleans up amazingly good.
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"...maybe if you cleaned the piss out of the sunny d bottles under your desks and returned em, you could upgrade you vid cards, fucken lusers.." - Grunk
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Trippy
Administrator
Posts: 23612
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You mean like this?
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LK
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4268
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I saw this for free piggybacking off Inglorious Basterds.
I'm glad I did. Paying for it would has ruined what little entertainment that wasn't T&A appreciation that I got out of this film.
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"Then there's the double-barreled shotgun from Doom 2 - no-one within your entire household could be of any doubt that it's been fired because it sounds like God slamming a door on his fingers." - Yahtzee Croshaw
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Threash
Terracotta Army
Posts: 9165
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I tried that. I was all like, "Shut up brain, it's full of steel conduit." and then my brain was all like, "You mean air bubbles?"
You mean the fact that they actually went out of their way to point out in the movie that it was ice and steel by SAYING OUT LOUD that it was ice and steel wasn't enough? Finally watched this on blue ray last night, loved it for the most part. I specially liked Storm Shadow and Baroness basically waltzing into the super secret JOE fortress and walking out with the super secret bombs after kicking the shit out of everyone. Hope it made enough money for a sequel.
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I am the .00000001428%
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Murgos
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7474
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"It had some steel in it." isn't really a very good answer, it's about the displacement. You see?
Let me put it this way. The ice was floating with the steel in it ALREADY.
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"You have all recieved youre last warning. I am in the process of currently tracking all of youre ips and pinging your home adressess. you should not have commencemed a war with me" - Aaron Rayburn
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Slyfeind
Terracotta Army
Posts: 2037
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My biggest problem with the movie was when Heavy Duty said "Yo Joe!" it wasn't big enough. He just sorta kinda said it. I wanted a huge, drawn-out "YOOOOOOOOOO JOE!!!!!"
I loved how they didn't explain away nicknames. I hate that. "Wow, that scientist is a real...mind...BENDER!!!!!" No, his name was Doctor Mindbender, and that's that, like he was born with it.
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"Role playing in an MMO is more like an open orchestra with no conductor, anyone of any skill level can walk in at any time, and everyone brings their own instrument and plays whatever song they want. Then toss PvP into the mix and things REALLY get ugly!" -Count Nerfedalot
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Evildrider
Terracotta Army
Posts: 5521
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"It had some steel in it." isn't really a very good answer, it's about the displacement. You see?
Let me put it this way. The ice was floating with the steel in it ALREADY.
Which was part of the surface ice flow. So once the chunks of steel and ice were blown free, there was less ice to help to keep it floating.
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NowhereMan
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7353
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I honestly think the recent G.I. Joe comic does a way better version of GI Joe getting started than this movie. It's not really any more realistic but the first storyline mostly consists of Snake Eyes out to prove that there's this super secret terrorist organisation called Cobra and goes rogue with Scarlet helping him and ensuing firefights and arrests of GI Joe rogue agents along with whole towns in America that are secretly Cobra run, etc. It's over the top and ridiculous but in a far more awesome way than this film was.
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"Look at my car. Do you think that was bought with the earnest love of geeks?" - HaemishM
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Murgos
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7474
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Which was part of the surface ice flow. So once the chunks of steel and ice were blown free, there was less ice to help to keep it floating.
I really don't think so, these things were ice mountains pretty much. Displacing millions of tons of salt water (which is already more buoyant). I don't think we ever saw near enough steel structure in the surface area to even come close to sinking them. Add to the that the fact that none of the steel was solid, it's all hollow (conduits and building structures) and probably trapping air thus displacing more water for it's given mass I'm just not buying it. I mean, steel ships with just a little air trapped in them sit and bob around on the surface for days while they are sinking. Just saying it had steel in it doesn't cut it.
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"You have all recieved youre last warning. I am in the process of currently tracking all of youre ips and pinging your home adressess. you should not have commencemed a war with me" - Aaron Rayburn
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Hoax
Terracotta Army
Posts: 8110
l33t kiddie
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Finally bothered to acquire this, yikes, terrible terrible movie.
+1 amazed I found a redhead so hot, I really loved those black plastic boob armor vests they kept putting her in.
Storm Shadow was way cooler then Snake Eyes and neither was as cool as they should have been considering they were ninjas.
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A nation consists of its laws. A nation does not consist of its situation at a given time. If an individual's morals are situational, then that individual is without morals. If a nation's laws are situational, that nation has no laws, and soon isn't a nation. -William Gibson
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Tannhauser
Terracotta Army
Posts: 4436
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Watched it today thanks to Netflix. It was a fun movie with hot chicks. And they tried to have some character development anyway. My expectations were pretty low, so I was pleasantly surprised. Did I mention the hot chicks? OMG the redhead, oh meow! And yes, I liked it too when outnumbered Cobra agents break into the MAIN GIJoe base and kick ass. Good job making the bad guys bad-ass! Lastly, I really liked Cobra Commanders origin. Didn't see it coming.
I never was a fan of the cartoon, but I would go see a sequel. As long as the red-head keeps wearing skintight outfits!
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Chimpy
Terracotta Army
Posts: 10618
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Making this arise from the grave just to mention that it just went up on Netflix streaming.
So I was bored and watched it.
Hot chicks were hot.
Got confused because I remember Duke and Scarlett being an item as a kid so that was kinda weird. Marlon Wayons was less annoying than the guy who played Duke to me.
Overall enjoyed it because I was not expecting much.
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'Reality' is the only word in the language that should always be used in quotes.
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Riggswolfe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 8024
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Got confused because I remember Duke and Scarlett being an item as a kid so that was kinda weird. Marlon Wayons was less annoying than the guy who played Duke to me.
Actually in the comics Scarlet and Snake Eyes were an item and he couldn't talk because he'd gotten a mouthful of flame while saving her life during a mission.
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"We live in a country, where John Lennon takes six bullets in the chest, Yoko Ono was standing right next to him and not one fucking bullet! Explain that to me! Explain that to me, God! Explain it to me, God!" - Denis Leary summing up my feelings about the nature of the universe.
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Furiously
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7199
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So basically he was every woman's dream. Other than being horribly disfigured.
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stu
Terracotta Army
Posts: 1891
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Doesn't Snake Eyes even speak her name out loud when she's near death?
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Dear Diary, Jackpot!
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