G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

[K9]

HD Trailer

[Slyfeind]

That's going to be so very, very sad....

[Evildrider]

Looks pretty good to me, I'm not expecting a deep storyline or anything, but I likes me some action flicks.

[tazelbain]

Looks better than Dragon Ball.  But after Transformers it's hard to imagine that there is any respect for the source.

[Ironwood]

I will go.  And I will like it as much as Transformers.

Bear in mind, in my defense, I have a huge baroness fetish.  That woman got me through some difficult teenage years.

[Evil Elvis]

I'll watch it for Baroness Von Titties.

[HaemishM]

That's going to be so very, very sad....

Shut your whore mouth, you hater. That looks like congealed Yo JOE awesomeness with a side of cheese whiz.

It's fucking GI JOE. It can't be any worse than Transformers.

[Merusk]

Sure it can.. they can have The Emperor and all that Bio-crap from the late 80s and Destro without his titanium mask.   

[Nebu]

The GI Joe I know and love are the 12" figures not this mamby-pamby-power-rangers-wanna-be shit. 

[Merusk]

Yeah but you're old.

[Nebu]

Yeah but you're old.

Get off my lawn!

[Rishathra]

Only the best action figures come with flesh colored dildos.  12" indeed.

[Evildrider]

Sure it can.. they can have The Emperor and all that Bio-crap from the late 80s and Destro without his titanium mask.   

COBRA LALALALALALALALALAALALALALLALAALALALALAL!!!!111

[Margalis]

I'll care about this movie when it's condensed into a Baroness cleavage montage.

[Slyfeind]

All I ask is that it's an American organization. They could make up all their own characters, ditch Cobra, and make them fight the aliens from Indy 4, and I would eat it up as long as they were American instead of this weird multi-national thingie.

[WindupAtheist]

Looks better than Dragon Ball.  But after Transformers it's hard to imagine that there is any respect for the source.

Why would there be? The source material was shit. I loved my GI Joe and Transformers as much as any red-blooded eighties kid, but come on. They were basically shit. Seriously, sit down and try to watch an episode. The best thing that whole Hasbro animation machine ever produced, the original animated Transformers movie, was a commercial flop where they killed all the established characters off in the first act and then had some newbies run through a vaguely Star Warsish adventure in an effort to sell a new line of toys.

Know what else was shit? Voltron. I tried to watch some with my brother late last year and we were just flabbergasted at how awful it was. Stuff is not as good as you remember.

[Ironwood]

He's not wrong.

Though it's still awesome as viewed through the lenses of your childhood nostalgia.

[Margalis]

Honestly I think Transformers still holds up, as does GI Joe. I watched some episodes of Transformers fairly recently. The animation is pretty good (until you get to some of the episodes after the movie), the voice work is good, the plots are decent.

Voltron yeah, total crap. It actually has kind of an interesting arc and characters but it's ultra-repetitive with terrible animation and dialogue.

[Ironwood]

"I can't deal with that now"

 

[UnSub]

All I ask is that it's an American organization. They could make up all their own characters, ditch Cobra, and make them fight the aliens from Indy 4, and I would eat it up as long as they were American instead of this weird multi-national thingie.

We non-Americans love American movies with American cultural imperialism stamped all over them. "Independence Day" was a laugh riot.

[Riggswolfe]

All I ask is that it's an American organization. They could make up all their own characters, ditch Cobra, and make them fight the aliens from Indy 4, and I would eat it up as long as they were American instead of this weird multi-national thingie.

We non-Americans love American movies with American cultural imperialism stamped all over them. "Independence Day" was a laugh riot.

Well, while this is a good point, GI Joe was created to sell to American children and said right on the package "A Real American Hero!" It'd be like taking some book or toy or whatever from wherever you are that is basically wrapped up in your country and changing it just to make more money off of it.

All that said, the multinational stuff doesn't bother me. I'll see this for Snake Eyes, Scarlet, the Baroness, and Destro (if he's done right.)

[Ironwood]

Destro is Scottish.

So fuck you all.

(That said, ID4 with it's stirring 'Americans have figured out Morse Code and have a plan, thank Christ, because we British have been wanking into paper cups the entire film !!'  Fuck that.)

[HaemishM]

Sure it can.. they can have The Emperor and all that Bio-crap from the late 80s and Destro without his titanium mask.   

Destro doesn't have his mask on in the trailers at all. Apparently, he spends a bit of time not in the mask during the movie (he's played by Eccleston).

I'm not expecting great cinema here. I just want it to be better than that excreble Transformers movie which DID shit all over the source. Yes, the source of both movies is campy, childish shit meant to shill toys to kids. That doesn't mean you can't respect it.

[NowhereMan]

In fairness I think the studios will have an easier time staying true to the source simply because if you take an average GI Joe episode and remade it with a high budget you would have a fun, entertaining action film with famous faces. A Classic summer blockbuster. Transformers failed for me because they gave the focus over to whoever the fuck played the human actors rather than CGI and voice actors. Joe won't have that problem and I don't see any need to alter the formula.

Of course maybe the studio will feel what they really need more of it romance thrillers where Lady Jane gets kidnapped and Flint spends the movie racing from place to place picking up telephone clues as to her whereabouts. The USA#1 thing doesn't bother me just because that's what GI Joe was though like Ironwood said, fuck ID4.

[Merusk]

Sure it can.. they can have The Emperor and all that Bio-crap from the late 80s and Destro without his titanium mask.   

Destro doesn't have his mask on in the trailers at all. Apparently, he spends a bit of time not in the mask during the movie (he's played by Eccleston).

I'm not expecting great cinema here. I just want it to be better than that excreble Transformers movie which DID shit all over the source. Yes, the source of both movies is campy, childish shit meant to shill toys to kids. That doesn't mean you can't respect it.

Yeah but I figure that's Destro "undercover."  You can't really say, "What, me part of a global terrorist organization determined to rule the world? No, not me." convincingly if you're wearing a big shiny chrome dome.

 I never understood the man's need to wear the mask all the time, anyway, it's got to get hot under there.    My wife's theory is that he'll have some sort of accident in which his face gets all mangled and that's where he'll start wearing it.

I still don't get how Transformers shit all over the source.  They're robots... that transform.  If the pisser is that they don't look like the 80's toys, you'd best get to bitching that Shipwreck won't be in 1950s sailor blues and Scarlett isn't wearing a bulletproof leotard in colors so bright they scream "aim here!"

[HaemishM]

It was more than just the Transformers not looking like their toys - they looked like total shit and weren't the stars of the movie at all. The action was also terribly filmed and unwatchable.

Destro's mask will apparently be some sort of family heirloom. Best guess is some of that technology eating bio shit that takes out the Eiffel Tower affects him and he's forced to put the mask on.

[JWIV]

Sure it can.. they can have The Emperor and all that Bio-crap from the late 80s and Destro without his titanium mask.   

Destro doesn't have his mask on in the trailers at all. Apparently, he spends a bit of time not in the mask during the movie (he's played by Eccleston).

I'm not expecting great cinema here. I just want it to be better than that excreble Transformers movie which DID shit all over the source. Yes, the source of both movies is campy, childish shit meant to shill toys to kids. That doesn't mean you can't respect it.

You need to go watch the episode again!   It was a good one (as remembered from my childhood).

Wikipedia has this:

Born in Callander, Scotland, Destro’s full name is James McCullen Destro XXIV, and is Laird of Castle Destro in the Scottish Highlands. The Destro clan has designed and sold weapons for centuries, and Destro is the head of their current incarnation: M.A.R.S. (Military Armament Research Syndicate). He wears a mask forged from Beryllium Steel, a tradition dating back to the English Civil War, when an ancestor of his was caught selling weapons to both sides. Forced to wear a steel mask for his crimes (neither side wanted to execute the ancestor because they still wanted the weapons he sold), the Destro clan has since turned it into a symbol of pride, passing it down from father to son for over 20 generations. In the episode "Skeletons in the Closet" it was also revealed that Destro is distantly related to Lady Jaye.


Yeah but I figure that's Destro "undercover."  You can't really say, "What, me part of a global terrorist organization determined to rule the world? No, not me." convincingly if you're wearing a big shiny chrome dome.

 I never understood the man's need to wear the mask all the time, anyway, it's got to get hot under there.    My wife's theory is that he'll have some sort of accident in which his face gets all mangled and that's where he'll start wearing it.

I still don't get how Transformers shit all over the source.  They're robots... that transform.  If the pisser is that they don't look like the 80's toys, you'd best get to bitching that Shipwreck won't be in 1950s sailor blues and Scarlett isn't wearing a bulletproof leotard in colors so bright they scream "aim here!"

[Mrbloodworth]

 I never understood the man's need to wear the mask all the time, anyway, it's got to get hot under there.    My wife's theory is that he'll have some sort of accident in which his face gets all mangled and that's where he'll start wearing it.

That was cobra commanders, not Destro's story.

[Slyfeind]

All I ask is that it's an American organization. They could make up all their own characters, ditch Cobra, and make them fight the aliens from Indy 4, and I would eat it up as long as they were American instead of this weird multi-national thingie.

We non-Americans love American movies with American cultural imperialism stamped all over them. "Independence Day" was a laugh riot.

Actually I meant Indy 4, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull aliens. Just in case I was misconstrued. ^^ BAH too many ID4's now! Come to think of it, a GI Joe movie with an Independence Day kind of vibe would totally rock.

[Signe]

Dollies aside, for some reason this film looks good to me.  As usual, I'll wait until it comes out for DvD, but I do want to see it.  Someone tell me how good it is!

[LK]

I did find a certain charm in Quaid's performance as Duke.

[Merusk]

That's General Hawk, actually.  Duke is the guy to the left at 0:22

 I never understood the man's need to wear the mask all the time, anyway, it's got to get hot under there.    My wife's theory is that he'll have some sort of accident in which his face gets all mangled and that's where he'll start wearing it.

That was cobra commanders, not Destro's story.

Yeah I knew that wasn't Destro's original backstory, but wasn't sure what it was.  It seemed a reasonable supposition on the wife's part, though.

[UnSub]

All I ask is that it's an American organization. They could make up all their own characters, ditch Cobra, and make them fight the aliens from Indy 4, and I would eat it up as long as they were American instead of this weird multi-national thingie.

We non-Americans love American movies with American cultural imperialism stamped all over them. "Independence Day" was a laugh riot.

Well, while this is a good point, GI Joe was created to sell to American children and said right on the package "A Real American Hero!" It'd be like taking some book or toy or whatever from wherever you are that is basically wrapped up in your country and changing it just to make more money off of it.

Oh, I completely understand that the US would never take an existing IP from another country, Americanise it up and then sell it into the world market.

[Triforcer]

I fully expect this to have some sort of Team America:  World Police vibe very subtly underlying everything.  Nobody can make this kind of movie anymore (i.e., reaching back to a treasured memory, like the Brady Bunch or something) without descent into parody.

[LK]

You missed Iron Chef.