G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

[Abagadro]

Speaking of Van Helsing, maybe I missed it in all the nerdrage, but has it been mentioned that this movie is being directed and produced by the guy who wrote and directed Van Helsing?

Not very encouraging.

[DraconianOne]

Yeah but he also did The Mummy and Deep Rising which were both fun if not exactly the pinnacle of cinematic endeavour.

[HaemishM]

Yes, I'm well aware that this is directed by Van Helsing and The Mummy director. Which is why I'm hoping it doesn't suck like Van Helsing. I want this movie to not be shitty.

[WindupAtheist]

That said, I honestly figured the general public saw him as a firetruck.

Huh? When was Optimus Prime ever a firetruck? Are you from some similar but not quite right alternate dimension? Like maybe Carter got re-elected in your universe and it changed the timeline in subtle ways?

[Slyfeind]

Um, since now?

[rk47]

  Vector Sigma! What have they done to you?!

[AutomaticZen]

Um, since now?

He's still a general purpose truck.  He just has one firetruck attachment.


The only time he's actually been a firetruck was in the 2001 Transformers cartoon:


Otherwise, he's a truck.  The truck type changes slightly, but whatever.

[Yegolev]

Speaking of Van Helsing, maybe I missed it in all the nerdrage, but has it been mentioned that this movie is being directed and produced by the guy who wrote and directed Van Helsing?

Not very encouraging.

Unless you happen to like Van Helsing.

[tazelbain]

Optimus Prime is a jew.

[Slyfeind]

A Jew...that can omg turn into a firetruck?!!!

[Ironwood]

Optimus Prime is a jew.

So was Thomas the Tank Engine tho.

He used to be called Tovarich Von Tankenstein.

/sayle.

[HaemishM]

A Jew...that can omg turn into a firetruck?!!!

That is truly an abomination.

Still better than Bayformers though.

[Jain Zar]

A Jew...that can omg turn into a firetruck?!!!

That is truly an abomination.

Still better than Bayformers though.

Dude, that was totally fucking awesome.  Wah wah the artstyle is weird.  It was funny, made cracks at classic Transformer stuff, and was amusing.

In general the Transformers Animated show was pretty rad.  Season 2 was a bit ass but S1 and S3 were mighty damned good.

It had Weird Al.  As Wreck Gar.  Who was a garbage truck.  Fred Willard as Swindle.  Lance Henriksen as a new villain whose name I forget.  Tripolar Blitzwing.

[LK]

Optimus Prime isn't Optimus Prime without Peter Cullen doing the voice.

Also, too jokey.

[Hindenburg]

 
Indeed. They should have started the film with 30 min of Emo Optimus.

[Slyfeind]

Topic! Has anyone seen this yet?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ucc7xDLXXPU

Wow, so first they have someone say "She's smarts!" Then they show her reading a book. Holy fuck. I was hoping for cheesy goodness, not rancid goat milk.

[Lakov_Sanite]

  make it stop.....please....

[Abagadro]

I didn't realize Scarlett was a vulcan.

[DraconianOne]

She runs like a girl.

[HaemishM]

That wasn't that bad. The worst part about that video was Scarlett talking.

[01101010]

Jeebus that was really bad. Think I'll wait for this to hit the TV or torrent cesspool because spending any money on this just seems to encourage bad things.

[Lakov_Sanite]

That wasn't that bad. The worst part about that video was Scarlett talking.

Everything about that scene was horrid, how can you watch that and not see some shitty sci-fi channel movie?

This makes DnD the movie look good.

[Evildrider]

This movie is actually getting alot of decent reviews from what I've seen so far.  Nothing as scathing as Transformers 2 got. 

Although I don't know what most of you expect.  This isn't supposed to be Citizen Kane or anything.  It's a fucking GI Joe movie.

[Slyfeind]

I was expecting something along the lines of Dragonball Z, but it sounds like it's not even that good.

[AutomaticZen]

I was expecting something along the lines of Dragonball Z, but it sounds like it's not even that good.

It really doesn't seem that bad.  People are actually enjoying it.  I think the completely lowered expectations may in fact, be working out for them.

[Merusk]

Wow, that was a horrible, horrible scene.  I find myself protecting my brain by rationalizing that she was fucking with him, knowing he'd have no counter for that argument, instead of just saying, "Go away, I'm boinking Snake Eyes."

[Velorath]

I was expecting something along the lines of Dragonball Z, but it sounds like it's not even that good.

It really doesn't seem that bad.  People are actually enjoying it.  I think the completely lowered expectations may in fact, be working out for them.

One of those links is to Aint it Cool.  You can go there and find a positively glowing review of Twilight.  Maybe you can find a review somewhere that doesn't contain a variation of the phrase "well on every level this movie is complete shit, but I'm going to excuse all that because it's fun", followed by a some crap about this is exactly the kind of stuff we imagined when we played with our toys as a kid.

[HaemishM]

That wasn't that bad. The worst part about that video was Scarlett talking.

Everything about that scene was horrid, how can you watch that and not see some shitty sci-fi channel movie?

This makes DnD the movie look good.

Yeah, but I liked the DnD movie. It was total campy shit, but I liked it, even the Wayans bit. Sometimes, I can enjoy something even when I know it could be written, acted and directed about 100 times better.

[WindupAtheist]

It's a summer blockbuster based on an eighties toy-commercial cartoon. If you ever even remotely expected anything besides two hours of explosions and stupidity trying to win you over by being stupid fun, well, that's your brain damage.

I'm pretty sure I posted this exact same thing in the Transformers 2 thread.

[Velorath]

It's a summer blockbuster based on an eighties toy-commercial cartoon. If you ever even remotely expected anything besides two hours of explosions and stupidity trying to win you over by being stupid fun, well, that's your brain damage.

I'm pretty sure I posted this exact same thing in the Transformers 2 thread.

I don't think anyone expected the movie to be anything more than that.  Doesn't mean you need to applaud filmmakers for having abysmally low expectations for their movie and then hitting those expectations.  If your kid aims to get a D on his math test and succeeds, he's still a fucking idiot.

[AutomaticZen]

I don't think anyone expected the movie to be anything more than that.  Doesn't mean you need to applaud filmmakers for having abysmally low expectations for their movie and then hitting those expectations.  If your kid aims to get a D on his math test and succeeds, he's still a fucking idiot.

I'm treating it the same way I treated my nephew's school group's rendition of Romeo & Juliet.  It's not going to be good, but I can get some laughs out of it.  And I spent $15 on that.

Again, there was no work of art hiding behind this property at all.

[Evildrider]

It's a summer blockbuster based on an eighties toy-commercial cartoon. If you ever even remotely expected anything besides two hours of explosions and stupidity trying to win you over by being stupid fun, well, that's your brain damage.

I'm pretty sure I posted this exact same thing in the Transformers 2 thread.

I don't think anyone expected the movie to be anything more than that.  Doesn't mean you need to applaud filmmakers for having abysmally low expectations for their movie and then hitting those expectations.  If your kid aims to get a D on his math test and succeeds, he's still a fucking idiot.

Ya but his kid isn't raking in millions of dollars in the process.  There aren't many *Great Movies* that make near as much money as these action blockbusters.  You know why?  People go to the movies most of the time just to be entertained.  They don't want to go to a movie that makes them sit there and have to think.

I admit I'm one of those people.  When I go to a movie I just want to be entertained, to laugh, to ooh and aah at explosions, and see good special effects.  When I feel like thinking and getting into a story, 90% of the time I just read books.

[WindupAtheist]

Ok, allow me to rephrase:

It's a summer blockbuster based on an eighties toy-commercial cartoon. If you ever even remotely think that more than 0.00001% of the world WANTS anything from it besides two hours of explosions and stupidity trying to win you over by being stupid fun, well, that's your brain damage.

[Velorath]

People go to the movies most of the time just to be entertained.  They don't want to go to a movie that makes them sit there and have to think.

I admit I'm one of those people.  When I go to a movie I just want to be entertained, to laugh, to ooh and aah at explosions, and see good special effects.  When I feel like thinking and getting into a story, 90% of the time I just read books.

You can make an entertaining movie that doesn't require you to think, but that also doesn't have a poorly written script and shit acting.  I'm not sure why some people get it into their heads that the two are mutually exclusive, but such thinking is why crap like Transformers rakes in money.

[Ratman_tf]

Ok, allow me to rephrase:

It's a summer blockbuster based on an eighties toy-commercial cartoon. If you ever even remotely think that more than 0.00001% of the world WANTS anything from it besides two hours of explosions and stupidity trying to win you over by being stupid fun, well, that's your brain damage.

That was not stupid fun. Mortal Kombat and Top Gun were stupid fun. That clip was pure stupid. No amount of explosions could cut the taste of fail in that clip.