G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

[WindupAtheist]

Seriously, I was down with the worries over "faith to source material" when it came to... say... Lord of the Rings. But GI fucking Joe? Comic Book Guy can get over himself.

[Ingmar]

Seriously, I was down with the worries over "faith to source material" when it came to... say... Lord of the Rings. But GI fucking Joe? Comic Book Guy can get over himself.

This.

Although I admit to a certain amount of morbid disappointment over this:

you'd best get to bitching that Shipwreck won't be in 1950s sailor blues

[Broughden]

(That said, ID4 with it's stirring 'Americans have figured out Morse Code and have a plan, thank Christ, because we British have been wanking into paper cups the entire film !!'  Fuck that.)

Sounds like an apt description of World War 2. 

[Ironwood]

You know, now you guys mention it, there was an absolute fuckton of face mutilation and masking up in GI Joe.

Hmmm.

I'm up to 7.  Though I'm including Zartans mob.

[Velorath]

You know, now you guys mention it, there was an absolute fuckton of face mutilation and masking up in GI Joe.

Hmmm.

I'm up to 7.  Though I'm including Zartans mob.

[Segoris]

Although I admit to a certain amount of morbid disappointment over this:

you'd best get to bitching that Shipwreck won't be in 1950s sailor blues

I don't know if I'm more worried at that, or that Shipwreck is played by The Rock. I think The Rock may be decent for it, but something about him doesn't seem like what I would have imagined for Shipwreck. There's something about certain cast members that makes me curious as to how they will do, such as having Marlon Wayons in this movie as Ripcord. Despite the fact that he doesn't resemble Ripcord at all, I've seen White Chicks, and I've seen Dungeons and Dragons (not even Jeremy Irons could save that crap), they weren't good and he certainly didn't help any.

Although their picks for Snake Eyes and Stormshadow I think are great, and I have to agree with someone who posted earlier about Dennis Quaid being a pretty damn good pick.

Edit: Add /url

[Slyfeind]

Dennis Quaid is perfect IMHO, Ray Park is great for Snake Eyes, but that Stormshadow guy looks like some emo teenager about to cry over his darkdark poetry. I'm sure he can fight, but WTF goth hair??

I would really love it if at some point someone is asking about GI Joe and Duke says "Yeah we started as an American unit but then..." and whatever excuse after that. It would tie in the old Patriotic stuff and pave the way for their weird politically correct shit.

[Signe]

I even remember the song!  GI Joe, GI Joe, Fighting something something something foe, something, something, La La La, La La!  I never watched it, though, just sang along.

[Ingmar]

\I've seen Dungeons and Dragons (not even Jeremy Irons could save that crap), they weren't good and he certainly didn't help any.

There is a very strong case to be made that in fact he made it worse.

[Evildrider]

I even remember the song!  GI Joe, GI Joe, Fighting something something something foe, something, something, La La La, La La!  I never watched it, though, just sang along.

Crashing through the night
Comes a fear full cry
Cobra! Cobra! Cobra! Cobra!
Armies of the night
Evil taking flight
Cobra! Cobra! Cobra! Cobra!
No where to run
No where to hide
Panic spreading far and wide
Who can turn the tide?

GI Joe- A real American hero
Yo Joe!
GI Joe is there

GI Joe- A real American hero
GI Joe is there
Fighting for freedom
Wherever there's trouble
over land and sea and air
GI Joe is there

Can the world oppose
Deadliest of foes?
Cobra! Cobra! Cobra! Cobra!
Joes will risk it all
To end the evil call of
Cobra! Cobra! Cobra! Cobra!
They never give up
They never say die
Walking tall with banners high
They sound the battle cry-
Yo Joe! Yo Joe!

GI Joe- A real American hero
GI Joe will dare
GI Joe- A real American hero
GI Joe is there

Fighting for freedom
Wherever there's trouble
over land and sea and air
GI Joe is there

GI Joe is the codename for American's daring, highly trained
special mission force.
It's purpose, to defend human freedom against Cobra-
a ruthless, terrorist organization determined to rule the world.

GI Joe- A real American hero
GI Joe will dare
GI Joe- A real American hero
GI Joe is there
Fighting for freedom
Wherever there's trouble
over land and sea and air
GI Joe is there
Cobra! Retreat! Retreat!

GI Joe- A real American hero
GI Joe is there
GI Joe

[Signe]

I was pretty close.

[Slyfeind]

Or if you want to hear the catchy tune to go with it... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DN034sBeF4c

omg bastards blowing up the statue!!!

[Riggswolfe]

Oh, I completely understand that the US would never take an existing IP from another country, Americanise it up and then sell it into the world market.

And people rightly bitch about it alot. In this case it's even worse though. It'd be taking, say, James Bond, and making him an American CIA agent named Jim Bond. Part of his identity is that he is British. Same thing here.

\I've seen Dungeons and Dragons (not even Jeremy Irons could save that crap), they weren't good and he certainly didn't help any.

There is a very strong case to be made that in fact he made it worse.

This. Marlon Wayan's casting dropped my interest in this movie by about 50%. I went from "looks cheesy but fun" to "shit, it's probably gonna be self parodying crap that I won't be able to sit through."

[Ingmar]

I was talking about Jeremy Irons!

[LK]

This. Marlon Wayan's casting dropped my interest in this movie by about 50%. I went from "looks cheesy but fun" to "shit, it's probably gonna be self parodying crap that I won't be able to sit through."

Give him a chance. This isn't a stupid comedy directed or financed by one of his brothers. This isn't him in a comic relief role (maybe)? Even if he plays it generic but cool that'll be more than enough for me.

[UnSub]

Oh, I completely understand that the US would never take an existing IP from another country, Americanise it up and then sell it into the world market.

And people rightly bitch about it alot. In this case it's even worse though. It'd be taking, say, James Bond, and making him an American CIA agent named Jim Bond. Part of his identity is that he is British. Same thing here.

It's been done. They called him Jimmy. Which I think was your point.

Also: there is no way in the world G.I. Joe and James Bond are even vaguely equivalent cultural icons. One is for boys who want bang bang, good guy triumphs over bad guy, the day is saved and the other is for men who want bang bang, good guy triumphs over bad guy, the day is saved and then some implied shagging.

But anyway: no way is G.I. Joe debased by making it a more international force. Provided they avoid including the slightly un-PC Vietnamese character called Tunnel Rat. 

[Margalis]

But anyway: no way is G.I. Joe debased by making it a more international force.

But then the uneasy alliance GI Joe has with the Oktober Guard would be meaningless.

[Riggswolfe]

It's been done. They called him Jimmy. Which I think was your point.

Also: there is no way in the world G.I. Joe and James Bond are even vaguely equivalent cultural icons. One is for boys who want bang bang, good guy triumphs over bad guy, the day is saved and the other is for men who want bang bang, good guy triumphs over bad guy, the day is saved and then some implied shagging.

But anyway: no way is G.I. Joe debased by making it a more international force. Provided they avoid including the slightly un-PC Vietnamese character called Tunnel Rat. 

I never said they were culturally equivalent. James Bond was just the first example I could think of that is strongly tied to its country of origin and would be greatly damaged by changing that. Debased is a strong word in this case. But yes, it's a change that is only being made to appeal to a different audience than the core audience. And it is slightly offensive because it smells P.C. to me and in this case G.I. Joe is strongly tied to America. Hell, the very name comes from a generic term for an American soldier and is subtitled "A Real American Hero" in the toys, comics, and cartoons.

Oh, and Jimmy Bond? Whoever did that needs to be strangled with their own entrails.

[Venkman]

Oh, I completely understand that the US would never take an existing IP from another country, Americanise it up and then sell it into the world market.

And people rightly bitch about it alot. In this case it's even worse though. It'd be taking, say, James Bond, and making him an American CIA agent named Jim Bond. Part of his identity is that he is British. Same thing here.

It's been done. They called him Jimmy. Which I think was your point.

Oh please. James Bond was barely James Bond at that point. The Climax! TV adaptation happened exactly one year after the very first book. They didn't do this after 50 years of IP conditioning. They did it before there was barely any awareness at all, probably to introduce him to a wider audience.

[NowhereMan]

Not so sure on that simply because part of Bond's identity seemed to really play on some dapper, witty and arrogant British idea that I don't think translates so well to an American character. A secret special forces unit that fights global terrorism? Doesn't seem ridiculous to make them multinational and makes it 'simpler' to have them fighting Cobra wherever they want to set the battles otherwise you've got Team America style American soldiers fighting terrorists in Paris. It really isn't a particularly important point to me though, leave them American make them multinational it's still going to be a big action blockbuster. Explosions don't recognise cultural differences

[SnakeCharmer]

FFS.

A popcorn movie.  That's all it is.

[Cyrrex]

Way to over-analyse a G.I. Joe movie, you bunch of cock tacos.

When I first saw the trailer on TV, I had no clue what it was and thought to myself "fuck, but that looks awesome".  And then I recognized a character that could only be Snake Eyes and I said to myself "fuck, but that IS COMPLETELY AWESOME".

And Transformers not staying close to the source material?  Huh?  That series re-invents itself completely with every generation.  It's almost like Zelda that way.  If you want to argue that the film's focus was off, fine.  That movie had big, nasty robots, lots of action and Megan Fox being even hotter than Megan Fox.  Also, Megan Fox shares all but two letters of her name with Megatron, who is also awesome.

In short, everyone needs to quit with the stupid.

[stray]

That's going to be so very, very sad....

Shut your whore mouth, you hater. That looks like congealed Yo JOE awesomeness with a side of cheese whiz.

It's fucking GI JOE. It can't be any worse than Transformers.

News: Transformers wasn't bad.

This, however, has that one guy in it. Yeah, that guy. No.

[Oban]

News: Transformers wasn't bad.

Dinobots.

[UnSub]

News: Transformers wasn't bad.

Dinobots.

You just made Grimlock cry.

[Signe]

I know absolutely nothing about GI Joe stories or characters.  The trailer just made it look like a good fun film.  Having said that, a lot of time I find that after seeing a film, all the good bits were in the trailer anyway.  I always get annoyed when that happens.

[Oban]

Guns, boobs, explosions, costumes, vehicles and Americana.

Looks on target to me.

[HaemishM]

That's going to be so very, very sad....

Shut your whore mouth, you hater. That looks like congealed Yo JOE awesomeness with a side of cheese whiz.

It's fucking GI JOE. It can't be any worse than Transformers.

News: Transformers wasn't bad.

Transformers was monkey shit thrown on a wall and pissed on. It was MICHAELBAYSPLOSIONS! WITH ROBOTS!!!!

[Draegan]

Transformers was a cool movie.  You're just being a cunt.

[HaemishM]

While the latter is almost certainly true 99% of the time, the former is 100% false.

[Rasix]

Transformers was monkey shit thrown on a wall and pissed on. It was MICHAELBAYSPLOSIONS! WITH ROBOTS!!!!

http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/155700/ 

Ohh holy shit, the guy directing this has quite a stellar line up including the Mummy movies (including the Scorpion King flicks) and *drumroll* VAN HELSING.  Yah, this will suck independently of what source it was spawned from.

[HaemishM]

That could very well be. Sommers doesn't have a good track record. But I have hope.

[stray]

The actor I was making fun of earlier btw is Channing Tatum. Bad director or not, I wouldn't watch this because of that actor.. If he can be called that. I'm rarely that shitty about something as a rule, but he just pisses me off. Can't help it. I'm also like this about Paul Walker though. There are porn stars who deliver lines better than him.

[Ironwood]

This is one of those arguments where I see where H is coming from, but I have to disagree.  Transformers had Optimus putting a blade through someones nut.  That worked for me.

And Megan really, really, really needed a wash in that film.  She was horribly greasy the ENTIRE movie and it wasn't nice. 

But, as mentioned, GI will be a bit of fun.  What's not to like ?

We'll see, eh ?

[UnSub]

Transformers was a cool movie.  You're just being a cunt.

"Transformers" was great whenever the Transformers were on screen and they weren't trying to be funny or talking to the annoying humans. There wasn't much of that in the film.