Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

[Riggswolfe]

I know you guys will chase me with pitchforks but...

Shia's character was the only Indy in this Indy movie. He was doing all the stunts that Harrison would have done 20 years ago. That's right, I said it. Shia was the best part of the action sequences.

 My biggest bitch was how old Harrison is and how it hobbled Indy's fight scenes.

For example:

How many times did you see this?

Indy jumps onto something, steps out behind bad guy, etc...
Camera pans away, usually to the legs/under the vehicle/on Shia.
Punch sound.
Bad guy falls.
Cut back to Harrison trying to look like smug Indy and not just...tired.

[stray]

He's still Indy in character though. Which was cool.


Also, I'm sorry, but Shia swinging with those monkeys was funny shit to me. It's not quite something I could see the real Indy doing, but I liked it. Maybe because I like monkeys, I don't know.

[HaemishM]

NECRO!

Just because it had been awhile, I subjected myself to Temple of Doom recently. I wanted to see if my memory was correct and if I was perhaps judging Crystal Skull too harshly.

Wow, Doom really really sucked it. Talk about a movie that just completely failed on almost every level. The only worthwhile part of that movie was Harrison Ford and the score. It was only marginally better than say a King Solomon's Mines (or even Tales of the Golden Monkey TV show) in the production values. Skull was only worse because of the overuse of CGI and the seeming incoherence of the story.

[ahoythematey]

I'm one of those people who likes Temple of Doom.  I "get" the hate for it, but I myself still like it.

[NowhereMan]

Up until the point where they jump out of the plane I liked it. That said it can be halfway decent when watching the trilogy very hung over on a Sunday, so I hear...

[Tannhauser]

ToD is fucking Godfather 2 compared to IJATKOTCS.

[Abagadro]

Necro of vindication!

Crystal Skull wins Razzie for Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off, or Sequel

[stray]

Looks like Markie Mark went back to his cycle of suck (he does this). Expect a fantastic movie after the next one.

[schild]

Wahlberg is doing the new Aronofsky movie that sounds fucking amazing. His next movie is a Peter Jackson Rachel Weisz flick. And he's doing the new Italian Job sequel. What cycle of suck are you talking about?

[stray]

He usually does something great, and then picks like 2 or 3 shitty movies to be in, then does something good again, etc..

[edit] For the most part, I think the "suck" is tied in to all of his attempts at blockbuster stardom. Which he will never be. It is ordained. But he is a cool actor when he needs to be.

[WindupAtheist]

Necro of vindication!

Crystal Skull wins Razzie for Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off, or Sequel

I couldn't resist spending 5 minutes in Paint. I was going to have response bubbles coming from the sides of the money bin, but then I realized it was way funnier without them.

[Grand Design]

And Girls Gone Wild has generated more wealth than Citizen Kane ever could.  Next, you're going to point out that the sky is blue and, therefore, IJATKOTCS is not a bad film.  Fuck, man. 

I want to see you, and anyone else who continues to defend this wretched filth, post the words, "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is a fine, praiseworthy work of cinematic art," or something equivalent.  I can say, without the slightest hesitation, that IJATKOTCS is shit.



And did I just read that Darren Aronofsky is remaking RoboCop?  Did I drop acid this morning and forget about it?

[Riggswolfe]

I don't think he was defending the movie. Rather, I think his point was that George, Harrison, and Steven don't give a shit what someone says on the internet about it since they have bathrooms with solid gold toilets paid for by the same people who bitch about them.

[Grand Design]

I don't think he was defending the movie.

No.  He is.  Its right there on page one. 

It was good. You guys just hate fun.

Rather, I think his point was that George, Harrison, and Steven don't give a shit what someone says on the internet about it since they have bathrooms with solid gold toilets paid for by the same people who bitch about them.

Again, in what way does that matter?  If the debate has devolved into, "they made a ton of money off of this piece of shit," then you can't ignore the premise of the point.  Its a piece of shit.

[Merusk]

The point is.. they don't fucking CARE.  They've realized they don't have to, we're all suckers who will continue to shovel money after shit, hoping that this time it doesn't suck.  Sometimes lightning strikes and it doesn't suck.. but not usually.  There is no Blizzard to crush the SOE that is Hollywood Blockbusters.

[Samwise]

I still haven't seen this movie.  I choose to be part of the solution.

[Grand Design]

I watched it twice.

If you enjoy a really bad movie, as I do, this one has it all.

[Oban]

I kind of liked it in a Sunday afternoon, 1970's crappy sci-fi movie way.

[Evildrider]

I would almost rather watch Battlefield Earth than this again. 

[Ironwood]

I still haven't seen this movie.  I choose to be part of the solution.

Ditto.

[Khaldun]

I also just felt sure I wouldn't care for it, so I haven't bothered.

[stray]

There are worse things out there. It's silly, but it's still an Indiana Jones movie. So it's entertaining mostly. This other shit about fucking up one's childhood is stupid. Get a life. :)

[Evildrider]

It really didn't feel like an Indiana Jones movie to me.  It was more like some bad cable TV movie.

[WindupAtheist]

[schild]

I don't really care about this particular nerdfight, but that was pretty not funny.

[Samwise]

I was going to have response bubbles coming from the sides of the money bin, but then I realized it was way funnier without them.

You had it right the first time.

[Abagadro]

Plinkett review incoming. Buzz is that it will be released X-mas day. Here is the Trailer


BTW, the "fake Plinkett" is part of the Half in the Bag review show that they have been doing which is really funny in and of itself (sort of a twisted, drunken Siskel & Ebert), particularly when they go to various Cons and mock the shit out of them.

[Tannhauser]

Thanks for the link, I enjoyed that.  That was a great imitation of the Emperor.  I really thought they hired the actor.  Also hot redhead ho is hot.

[Lakov_Sanite]

I think that trailer gave me blue balls.

[Samwise]

BTW, the "fake Plinkett" is part of the Half in the Bag review show that they have been doing which is really funny in and of itself (sort of a twisted, drunken Siskel & Ebert), particularly when they go to various Cons and mock the shit out of them.

I'd always thought that the two Plinketts (Rich Evans and Mike Stoklasa) were supposed to be the same character; establishing the Rich Evans version as "fake Plinkett" in their "canon" is interesting.

Curious if they found the stripper on Craigslist or what.  She's not one of their regular guest stars.

[stu]

bwangyangyangyangyang It's here:

http://redlettermedia.com/mr-plinetts-indiana-jones-and-the-kingdom-of-the-crystal-skull-review/

About to watch it now.

[Abagadro]

I'm going to watch it tonight after I am a bit more lubricated.

[Ratman_tf]

I made it halfway through part two before getting bored and skipping to the end. I don't mind his rambling pervert schtick, but that voice gets fucking old after 30 minutes straight.

Sumup: Lucas and Spielberg to a lesser degree, have become the kind of guys they themselves used to bitch about when they were hot rod 30something filmmakers. Dudes need to retire.

[Lakov_Sanite]

Yeah I agree the reveiw could have been condensed into 10minutes saying "This movie was watered down and family friendly: the end"

[Samwise]

Didn't he do exactly that in the first minute of the review?