Children - our future? Fuck.

[Nerf]

As some of you already know, and the rest will by the end of this sentence, I get paid to help socio-economically depressed middleschoolers learn better or somthing.  I'm not really sure what I do, but I know that I get paid once a month, so I keep going.

One of the classes just had a project due last week, one they've been working on for about a month and a half now, they're all really, really crappy, and most were thrown together in powerpoint less than 24 hours before they were due, some scribbles were added, and everything was pasted onto cardboard, or unrolled toilet paper rolls, again not sure, I don't try very hard to actually help the racist little fucks.

The project itself I do know, since I was the one who had to design it while the teacher wandered off.  It was fairly straightforward - design your own country, design a system of government, establish demographics, levels of education, and levels of employment, use lots of charts to show the different breakdowns within demographics of education levels, employment levels, level of crack addiction, etc, etc.  A daunting task indeed, designing the -perfect- country, writing your own constitution, as specific as you deemed nescessary, checks, balances, ensuring happiness -- designing utopia!

That's not what happened though, unsurprisingly, they were all spectacularly awful, but there was one nugget, a piece of corn stuck to the turd of their amassed work, that I just had to share.

THE CONSTITUTION OF SamLand:
EVERYBODY LOVE WHOEVER THEY WANT
NO GAYS

I have previously been reprimanded for being "sarcastic", so I just chuckled to myself and didn't point out the wonderful irony to this young misguided youth, and then realized that this was a blessing in disguise, for it would've taken me an hour or more to get this kid to understand what irony actually is, and he would've forgotten in half that time.

Also, for a group of kids who have no problem screaming "RACIST!" if someone of a different color does *anything* they find unfavorable, the demographics sure were skewed towards one race.*

*Which is understandable, people are more comfortable in a homogenous society.

More to come, I'll have to see if I can dig up the paper a student wrote on how to "solve" the war in Iraq - unleashing Godzilla.

[NowhereMan]

More to come, I'll have to see if I can dig up the paper a student wrote on how to "solve" the war in Iraq - unleashing Godzilla.

Petraeus move over, I think we just found our man.

P.S. kids' projects often have the potential for hilarious fail/win. When I was teaching English one of the other teachers lost his passport and decided to ask the kids to make him a new one as a way of wasting an hour while he talked to embassy people on the phone. Among these was a brilliant passport for the "Socialist Republic of Canada". Biting political commentary from a 9 year old Vietnamese kid (who had obviously only ever seen a Vietnamese passport before)

[Nerf]

If they were 9 it would be cute, these kids are 12-14, depending on how many times they've failed and actually been held back.

It's not cute when you're addressed as "Mr. Fucking <Yournamehere>"

[Raging Turtle]

I'm so glad I only teach adults now.  I could be making more money teaching kids somewhere else, but it's not even close to being worth it.

Sometimes after I teach, my students buy me beer.      

[Phildo]

I demand pictures of the one turned in on toilet paper.

Also, what do you expect from poor minority children in Texas?

This should definitely be an ongoing serious.  Frontpage material, perhaps?   

[NowhereMan]

If they were 9 it would be cute, these kids are 12-14, depending on how many times they've failed and actually been held back.

It's not cute when you're addressed as "Mr. Fucking <Yournamehere>"

[cmlancas]

[schild]

How do I reach these kids?

[Ookii]

You must cheat like Bill Belichick.

[Merusk]

Ah, we couldn't remember the name of that movie at work the other day when South Park came up.  Thanks internets!

[cmlancas]

It is actually a pretty good movie. I liked it. 

[Nerf]

"Mista, why people be ugly?"
"Pardon?"
"Why people be ugly!?"
"Could you phrase that in proper english for me please?"
"Uhh, Why are people ugly?"
"Do you mean ugly as an adjective or a verb?"
*brain matter exploding onto walls*

[cmlancas]

How is ugly a verb? Do you ugly someone?  Or do you get uglied?



Hrm.

[Paelos]

How is ugly a verb? Do you ugly someone?  Or do you get uglied?



Hrm.

My grandmother used it all the time as a verb. "Don't be ugly to your sister," she'd say. Sort of synonymous with mean.

[Der Helm]

Isn't it used as an adverb then ? 


I also love this thread.

[cmlancas]

It's actually a predicate adjective.

I LOVE GRAMMAR! 

(I did just have a preliminary job interview thingy where I had to take a grammar test. I got a callback!)

[Llava]

"Don't make me ugly you up."  The verbs in this sentence are make and ugly.  Similar to "Don't make me beat you up."  Simplified to present tense, "I ugly you", or "I beat you".  Rarely phrased this way except by rampaging orcs pummeling the faces of sanctimonious pretty boy paladins.

"Don't be ugly to your sister." The verbs in this sentence are do and be.  Simplified, "Do not be ugly."  In its own clause, "Be ugly."  Like "Be red." or "Be fast." Ugly is an adjective.

Mean is also an adjective.

It can be an adverb if phrased "Don't speak meanly to your sister."  Meanly modifies the verb speak and is thus an adverb.

I'm pretty sure you can't make ugly an adverb, because it would have to be conjugated as "uglily".

[Raging Turtle]

Sure you can.  It's called an adverbial phrase.  "He looked at her in an ugly way."  The same goes for silly (and other adjectives ending in -ly) and a few other situations.

[cmlancas]

 

I think this thread is making me hot and bothered.

Moar plz?

[Nerf]

I had an entire class write 1page papers on "What is Justice?" today, I'll get the highlights scanned and hosted later tonight.

[schild]

Oh fucking awesome.

[Paelos]

I'm actually on the edge of my seat for those. 

[Llava]

Sure you can.  It's called an adverbial phrase.  "He looked at her in an ugly way."  The same goes for silly (and other adjectives ending in -ly) and a few other situations.

But in that sentence, ugly is modifying "way", which is a noun.  He looked at her in a way.  What kind of way?  An ugly way.

So it would still be an adjective there, wouldn't it?

[Phildo]

[caladein]

I had an entire class write 1page papers on "What is Justice?" today, I'll get the highlights scanned and hosted later tonight.

As funny as those will be... I have to ask: exactly how reasonable are these prompts for middle-schoolers?

Asking "What is justice?" of a 6th grader and expecting anything outside of pure inanity just seems pedagogically unsound.

I apologize, I'll let you all get back to laughing at people.

[Nerf]

I'm fairly sure I've openly admitted that I'm a bad person, but just in case you missed it - I'm a bad person.

I AM open to suggestions tho, so if theres a question you want a group of 7th and 8th graders (13 to 15) to write a 1 page paper on in 10 minutes, fire away.

[Raging Turtle]

Sure you can.  It's called an adverbial phrase.  "He looked at her in an ugly way."  The same goes for silly (and other adjectives ending in -ly) and a few other situations.

But in that sentence, ugly is modifying "way", which is a noun.  He looked at her in a way.  What kind of way?  An ugly way.

So it would still be an adjective there, wouldn't it?

That's why it's called a adverbial phrase and not just an adverb.  How did he look at her? "In an ugly way"  How did she dance?  She danced "in a silly way", because she was a silly dancer.  You're correct in that you can break it down further, because yes, ugly is modifying way, making it an adjective... but with grammar, you can almost always break it down further.   

[NowhereMan]

I AM open to suggestions tho, so if theres a question you want a group of 7th and 8th graders (13 to 15) to write a 1 page paper on in 10 minutes, fire away.

"I would totally still hit Britney." Discuss.

[Llava]

"What is love?"

Then fail anyone who doesn't answer "Baby don't hurt me."

[Paelos]

"Do you believe in fate and why?"

I was promised justice results. Where are those?

[schild]

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"Talk about mommy and daddy."

"Boyz in the hood? Always hard?"

[Llava]

Finish the sentence:

Shit...

A)  ...is an obscene word.

B)  ...is my favorite word.

C)  ...just got real.

[rk47]

I'm fairly sure I've openly admitted that I'm a bad person, but just in case you missed it - I'm a bad person.

I AM open to suggestions tho, so if theres a question you want a group of 7th and 8th graders (13 to 15) to write a 1 page paper on in 10 minutes, fire away.

why do countries go to war?
or
what is europe?

[schild]

Why do all the black kids sit together in the cafeteria?

By the way, that is a Book. Like, a real one. As in, you can probably get away with it. See how kids answer it vs adults. In fact, now that I've said that, I actually want to see answers.

[Nerf]

Not touching that question with a 10 foot pole Schild, although did write one a month or two ago on whether or not it should be OK for whitey to wear racist regalia if black folk can wear Malcom X garb.

They all thought Malcom X was MLK and wrote papers accordingly.