Shockeye's Useless News

[stray]

Heh, I'm happy for him as long as Weidlin doesn't put out. She gettin' a little old, but I've had a crush on her since..shit, 5 years old?

[Shockeye]

Not really news, but certainly useless.

I found schild's new car.

1999 mazda protege', This car is a real head turner. It never fails to draw attention, and make jaws drop while driving down the road. Even the guys admire the craftsmanship that went into this girlie racer. It has won at every car show we have brought it to. And you can see why. Every one just loves this "hello Kitty" fast and furious protege'.

[Paelos]

Compliments on finding the GAYEST THING ON FOUR WHEELS

[Shockeye]

Compliments on finding the GAYEST THING ON FOUR WHEELS

Not that there's anything wrong with that

[Shockeye]

I guess some people can't handle the truth.

Speaker Touts Stripping to 8th Graders

By BILEN MESFIN, Associated Press Writer

SAN FRANCISCO - The principal of a Palo Alto middle school may not invite a popular speaker back to an annual career day after he told girls they could earn a good living as strippers.

Management consultant William Fried told eighth-graders at Jane Lathrop Stanford Middle School on Tuesday that stripping and exotic dancing can pay $250,000 or more per year, depending on their bust size.

"It's sick, but it's true," Fried said in an interview later. "The truth of the matter is you can earn a tremendous amount of money as an exotic dancer, if that's your desire."

Fried has given a popular 55-minute presentation, "The Secret of a Happy Life," at the school's career day the past three years. He counsels students to experiment with a variety of interests until they discover something they love and excel in.

But school principal Joseph Di Salvo said Fried may not be back next year.

The principal said Fried's comments to the class came after some of them asked him to expand on why he included "exotic dancing" on his list of 140 potential careers.

Fried spent about a minute answering questions, defining strippers and exotic dancers synonymously. According to Jason Garcia, 14, he told students: "For every 2 inches up there, you should get another $50,000 on your salary."

"A couple of students egged him and he took it hook, line and sinker," said Di Salvo, who also said the students took advantage of a substitute teacher overseeing the session.

"It's totally inappropriate," Di Salvo said. "It's not OK by me. I would want my presenters to kind of understand that they are coming into a career day for eighth-graders."

That stripping advice wasn't the only thing that riled parents. Di Salvo said one mother said she was outraged when her son announced that he was forgoing college for a field he loves: fishing.

"He really focused on finding what you really love to do," said Mariah Cannon, 13.

Fried, 64, said he does not think he offended any of the students: "Eighth-grade kids are not dumb," he said. "They are pretty worldly."

[Shockeye]

Michael Moore gets no respect.

Davison High School denies honor to alum Michael Moore

January 14, 2005, 7:29 AM

DAVISON, Mich. (AP) -- Oscar on the shelf or not, Michael Moore is not getting much respect at his old high school.

Despite his fame and many honors, the filmmaker has been rejected all four times that he has been nominated for Davison High School's Hall of Fame.

"Would you want him as a role model? Would you want your son or daughter to be like him?" asked Don Hammond, a member of the Davison Hall of Fame selection committee, who has voted not to elect Moore. "I haven't talked to anybody yet who's for him. The word to describe Michael Moore is embarrassing. He embarrasses everybody."

Ryan Eashoo disagrees. The 1997 Davison High graduate has spent 80 hours the last two weeks and $600 of his own money trying to get Moore elected this time.

"We've been blacklisted," Eashoo, 25, told the Detroit Free Press for a story Friday. "I'm a huge Michael Moore fan. He's a great producer, great filmmaker, always sticking up for minorities. He's kind of an underdog."

Eashoo got the idea to back Moore for his Flint-area school's hall of fame several weeks ago when he noticed an item in the Davison School Board's newsletter that it was time to nominate for the hall.

So far, Eashoo has 300 signed nominations of Moore. His goal is 2,000 by Feb. 1.

The committee meets Feb. 11 to choose its inductees.

Halls of Fame aren't about being a role model, they are about accomplishments. Even though I dislike Michael Moore, I think he deserves to be in his school's Hall of Fame for his accomplishments.

[Shockeye]

I'm sure he wasn't up to anything, honest!

Central Fla. Man Arrested For Possessing Lethal Ricin
Agents Find Uzi-Type Submachine Gun, AK47 Rifle In Man's Home

POSTED: 2:25 pm EST January 13, 2005
UPDATED: 8:49 am EST January 14, 2005

OCALA, Fla. -- A 22-year-old man was arrested on charges of possessing the lethal toxin ricin at his home, authorities said Thursday.

Steven Michael Ekberg, 22, was detained late Wednesday and charged with possession of a biological agent, which carries a penalty of up to 10 years in prison. FBI agents said they didn't believe Ekberg had any connection with terrorist groups, although they didn't release a possible motive.

 His mother, Theresa Ekberg, who lives with her son, declined to comment.

The Marion County Sheriff's Office was tipped off on New Year's Eve by an anonymous informant who told agents that Ekberg had been visiting clubs while carrying multiple firearms, a violation of the concealed weapons permit law.

The informant also told agents that Ekberg had shown off a box containing several glass tubes, vials and jars as well as white, brown and red seeds. Ekberg had said one of the vials held ricin, according to a sheriff's report.

Ekberg was also arrested and released last Friday on charges of possession of cocaine and violating the concealed weapons law. Agents from the sheriff's office and the Florida Department of Law Enforcement then searched his house. They found an Uzi-type submachine gun, an AK47-type semiautomatic rifle and a semiautomatic bipod rifle, the sheriff's report said.

The also found a cardboard box containing suspicious chemicals, which was determined to contain ricin after a chemical analysis in a Jacksonville laboratory.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, as little as 500 micrograms of ricin, roughly the amount that fits on the head of a pin, is enough to kill an adult. Lethal doses depend on how the poison is delivered -- powder, mist, pellet or dissolved in water. The poison can be made from waste left over from processing castor beans.

Uzis, AK47s, Ricin? Just another day in the 'burbs.

[Shockeye]

They're now a "C" cup.

GARNER'S BREASTS ENLARGED FOR ELEKTRA

JENNIFER GARNER had an important adjustment made in order to play the title character in hew new movie ELEKTRA - her breasts were made to look bigger.

The brunette beauty stars in the DAREDEVIL spin-off as the comic book heroine, and bosses decided her look would be completed by a slight increase in her bust size.

The film's costume designer, LISA TOMCZESZYN, says, "Comic book heroines have to have supernatural bustlines to match their supernatural strength."

As a result, Garner's cup size was pushed up to a C.

Tomczeszyn adds, "(The increase is) not out of line with today's Hollywood starlets."
14/01/2005 09:28

[Shockeye]

Scarlett Johanssen is all about her fellow actors.

Scarlett happy to share

Sid Billington

Scarlett Johansson has revealed what a kind and generous person she is by saying she’s happy for her male co-stars to catch an eye-full of her “girls”.

Which are her boobs, by the way.

The pouty blonde admitted to Harpers and Queen magazine that sex scenes don’t rattle her.

“A lot of people get nervous. I try to be relaxed.

"There are those first few takes where you're like, 'This is awkward', and it's hot and you're almost naked.

"But if someone catches sight of your bare breasts, you think: 'Let them have it and enjoy it for the day."

Bless her, and her girls.

We really need to get her and Colin Farrell together.

[Shockeye]

It seems there was some sort of "stalling tactic" employed.

Vermont high-schoolers total seven points in basketball game
The Associated Press
Updated: 9:07 p.m. ET Jan. 13, 2005

MILTON, Vt. - Hard to imagine a 3-pointer in the second quarter of a high school boy's basketball game would turn out to be the winning basket _ unless it's one of only three made in the entire game.

That basket, along with an earlier field goal, was all Bellows Free Academy-Fairfax needed to beat Milton on Wednesday night. The final score: 5-2.

To the teams' credit, the score was the result of an apparently deliberate stalling strategy.

It could not immediately be determined if the score was a state or national record low, but the contest certainly attracted attention.

"We've been talking about it all morning over here," said Bob Johnson, the director of student activities for the Vermont Principals' Association, which governs high school sports.

"It had to have been one of the most boring games in the world," he said.

The scoring was kept way down on purpose, a strategy made possible by the fact that Vermont high schools don't use a shot clock. No player went to the free-throw line as Milton committed five fouls and BFA had one.

BFA took a 5-0 lead and neither team scored in the second half.

"It was the ultimate deliberate stalemate," Milton coach Jim Smith said. "They didn't come out after us and we didn't go in against them."

Smith said the slowdown was implemented because BFA (7-4) has a strong scoring presence, while Milton (2-8) does not. The Milton players believed their best chance to be competitive was to just hold onto the ball.

The strategy almost worked.

"We had a shot go off the rim that would have tied it," Smith said. "We were one possession away to tie the game. We have not been in that position for quite some time."

Alex Weber's basket gave BFA a 2-0 lead in the first quarter. Shadoe Adams' 3-pointer made it 5-0 at the start of the second quarter. Brian Phelps scored later in the period and Milton trailed 5-2 at halftime.

"I've never had a player hit a game-winner in the second quarter before," BFA-Fairfax coach Glen Button Jr. said.

[stray]

We really need to get her and Colin Farrell together.

Umm....Why?

[Paelos]

We really need to get her and Colin Farrell together.

Umm....Why?

So they could spawn an uber-hot race of models. Duh.

[Shockeye]

You know you're having a bad day when you have to steal a suspects car in order to recover your own.

Caught On Tape: Suspect Steals Cruiser

Deputy Chases His Own Car

An Oklahoma sheriff's deputy ended up chasing his own car Thursday after a man he was arresting stole the police cruiser.

The deputy was forced to give chase in the suspect's car, and it was all caught on the cruiser's dashboard camera.

While Garfield County Sheriff's Deputy Matt Mixon searched his vehicle, suspect Billy Gurney, 34, slipped behind the wheel of the patrol car and out of his handcuffs.

"I had to make a lot of decisions, and I had to make them ... then, there, and quick, with no way to ask for permission," Mixon said.

Mixon hopped into the suspect's stolen vehicle and gave chase -- without a radio or any communication with his command.

He fired at the cruiser, but it did not stop the driver. At one point, the cruiser was going so fast that it went airborne after hitting a rise in the road. "I could actually see the horizon underneath my patrol car," Mixon said.

Speeds reached 120 mph, with the patrol car's lights flashing the entire time.

And after several close calls with innocent drivers, Mixon forced the suspect to spin out in the cruiser.

The motorized pursuit was over, but the chase was not. Mixon said he chased Gurney on foot and finally subdued him with a Taser gun.

The dangerous joyride down rural roads spanned two counties and 25 miles.

Neither the suspect nor the deputy were seriously injured.

[Shockeye]

Photoshopping can get you fired.

Bank of America Fires Head of High-Yield Research After Report

Jan. 14 (Bloomberg) -- Bank of America Corp.'s securities unit fired Andrew Susser, a top-ranked analyst and head of its high- yield bond research group, after his face appeared superimposed on a woman's body in a report sent to clients.

The 56-page report includes a front-page photograph doctored to make it appear as though Susser, wearing a black dress and high heels, is getting swept over the threshold of a hotel suite by another man. Susser, who covered the lodging and gaming industries from New York, approved publishing the report about the lodging industry entitled ``Checking In,'' according to people familiar with the matter, who declined to be identified.

Customers who follow Susser's work said his dismissal on Jan. 10 may hurt the firm's efforts to win underwriting and trading business. Last year, Banc of America Securities LLC won high-yield underwriting deals from companies he covered, including part of a $1.3 billion sale for a unit of casino operator Wynn Resorts Ltd. and half of MGM Mirage Inc.'s $550 million offering.

``It's a big loss,'' said Thomas Parker, who manages $2.6 billion in high-yield debt, including gaming bonds, for Barclays Global Investors in San Francisco. ``He's definitely one of the top gaming analysts. Since we play gaming bonds, we want to know what he has to say.''

Susser, 39, declined to comment when reached by telephone at his home in New York. Banc of America Securities spokesman Jeff Hershberger declined to discuss the reasons for Susser's firing.

No. 1 Ranking

Susser topped Institutional Investor magazine's ranking of high-yield analysts for lodging and gaming for the past three years.

Banc of America Securities was the fourth-biggest U.S. underwriter of high-yield debt last year, up from sixth in 2003 and eighth in 2000, data compiled by Bloomberg show. The firm's share of the $136 billion market for high-yield sales doubled to 11 percent last year from 5.4 percent in 2000.

``He's a very good analyst and my casino analyst who gets his reports happens to think very highly of him,'' said Harry Resis, who helps manage about $550 million in high-yield bonds at Henderson Global Investors Ltd. in Chicago. ``He's obviously one of the top guys in high-yield research.''

Susser also covered Starwood Hotels & Resorts Worldwide Inc., the world's second-largest hotel operator by sales, Host Marriott LP, a unit of Host Marriott Corp., and Donald Trump's Trump Hotels & Casino Resorts Inc.

Susser left the firm after almost six years, Hershberger said. Banc of America Securities, which is based in New York, named Larry Bland to succeed him as head of high-yield research. Bland has been running the firm's high-yield research on health-care companies.

[stray]

We really need to get her and Colin Farrell together.

Umm....Why?

So they could spawn an uber-hot race of models. Duh.

Oh. Well...Then that would be me and Scarlett.

Or..At least I'm more than willing to try.

[Merusk]

The thing about handcuffs sold in sex shops is, (at least in the US) they're all required to have a safety release catch these days, since so many people were losing keys.   Cops' handcuffs are made out of heavier gague metal, too.

[schild]

We really need to get her and Schild together.

How right you are.

[Dark Vengeance]

The thing about handcuffs sold in sex shops is, (at least in the US) they're all required to have a safety release catch these days, since so many people were losing keys.   Cops' handcuffs are made out of heavier gague metal, too.

Outside of hardcore S&M folks, roleplayers, and bondage freaks, the trend anymore is moving toward the soft plush wrist restraints with the velcro straps. No need for keys, they are far more comfortable, and you don't mark up your wrists....but they aren't easily undone either.

Or so I'm told.

Bring the noise.
Cheers.............

[Train Wreck]

It seems all women want Mini-Me. Just ask him.

Mini-Me Verne Troy Not So Mini With 3 Playboy Girls
January 13, 2005, 7:34:00

TROYER: 'I PLEASURED THREE PLAYBOY GIRLS'

Haha.  I saw this episode.  He's one freaky perve, especially when he's drunk.

Chances are, he insinuated himself into the Playboy orgy, and he is so small that nobody noticed he was participaitng.

[Train Wreck]

Management consultant William Fried told eighth-graders at Jane Lathrop Stanford Middle School on Tuesday that stripping and exotic dancing can pay $250,000 or more per year, depending on their bust size.

Actually, it depends on how much of a prostitute they are willing to be in the back.

[Shockeye]

It seems that Paris enjoys dropping F-bombs on firefighters. Video to soon follow.

Paris Hilton Drops 'F-Bomb' On Fire-Dispatch Radio
Hotel Heiress Filming TV Series In New Jersey

POSTED: 7:33 am EST January 20, 2005
UPDATED: 3:03 pm EST January 20, 2005

Controversial heiress Paris Hilton is back in the news in New Jersey, after she apparently made an FCC violation by using obscene language on a publicly broadcast fire-dispatch radio.

Hilton and friend Nicole Richie were in Atlantic City on Jan. 14 filming their television series "The Simple Life 2" at the city's fire station at Mississippi and Atlantic Avenues.

According to witnesses, Hilton gained access to the radio system used to dispatch firefighters. Hilton then said on the live microphone, "Ladder 1, OK, mother (expletive)!"

The use of obscene language on public airwaves, even for fire dispatching, usually falls under the regulation of the Federal Communications Commission. There's no word on if any action will be taken. The expletive was the dreaded "F-bomb" that has landed other public speakers in trouble.

The series was filming at the station after a New Jersey school district declined to allow Hilton and Richie to work as teachers and cafeteria monitors at a middle school earlier this month.

In related news, New Jersey environmental officials have issued summonses to two men who apparently shot a deer for "The Simple Life," even though they had no connection to the program and weren't asked to kill the animal by producers.

The show's producers had strongly denied allegations the alleged poaching was tied to the show.

The show's third season, which premieres Jan. 26, has the 22-year-old Hilton and co-star Richie traveling the nation, working as interns in a series of menial jobs.

[Shockeye]

It looks like the right-wing christians are out of other targets. It's time to attack a sponge.

Conservatives Pick Soft Target: A Cartoon Sponge
By DAVID D. KIRKPATRICK

Published: January 20, 2005

WASHINGTON, Jan. 19 - On the heels of electoral victories barring same-sex marriage, some influential conservative Christian groups are turning their attention to a new target: the cartoon character SpongeBob SquarePants.

"Does anybody here know SpongeBob?" Dr. James C. Dobson, the founder of Focus on the Family, asked the guests Tuesday night at a black-tie dinner for members of Congress and political allies to celebrate the election results.

SpongeBob needed no introduction. In addition to his popularity among children, who watch his cartoon show, he has become a well-known camp figure among adult gay men, perhaps because he holds hands with his animated sidekick Patrick and likes to watch the imaginary television show "The Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy."

Now, Dr. Dobson said, SpongeBob's creators had enlisted him in a "pro-homosexual video," in which he appeared alongside children's television colleagues like Barney and Jimmy Neutron, among many others. The makers of the video, he said, planned to mail it to thousands of elementary schools to promote a "tolerance pledge" that includes tolerance for differences of "sexual identity."

The video's creator, Nile Rodgers, who wrote the disco hit "We Are Family," said Mr. Dobson's objection stemmed from a misunderstanding. Mr. Rodgers said he founded the We Are Family Foundation after the Sept. 11 attacks to create a music video to teach children about multiculturalism. The video has appeared on television networks, and nothing in it or its accompanying materials refers to sexual identity. The pledge, borrowed from the Southern Poverty Law Center, is not mentioned on the video and is available only on the group's Web site.

Mr. Rodgers suggested that Dr. Dobson and the American Family Association, the conservative Christian group that first sounded the alarm, might have been confused because of an unrelated Web site belonging to another group called "We Are Family," which supports gay youth.

"The fact that some people may be upset with each other peoples' lifestyles, that is O.K.," Mr. Rodgers said. "We are just talking about respect."

Mark Barondess, the foundation's lawyer, said the critics "need medication."

On Wednesday however, Paul Batura, assistant to Mr. Dobson at Focus on the Family, said the group stood by its accusation.

"We see the video as an insidious means by which the organization is manipulating and potentially brainwashing kids," he said. "It is a classic bait and switch."

[Shockeye]

It seems that summer is a time for lazy days, homework, and a lawsuit.

Boy Sues Math Teacher Who Assigned Summer Homework
Teen, Dad Say School Has No Authority Over Students During Summer

POSTED: 11:47 am EST January 20, 2005

MILWAUKEE -- A suburban Milwaukee teen and his dad are suing the boy's math teacher for assigning homework to be done over summer vacation.

Peer Larson , 17, and his father, Bruce Larson, say teachers have no legal authority to make students do schoolwork over summer vacation because the state-mandated, 180-day school year is over.

Mr. Larson says it's poor public policy. He says the students are still children and need a break during the summer months from increased pressure.

The teen attends Whitnall High School. The lawsuit filed in Milwaukee County Circuit Court also names the math department chairwoman, principal, school district and state superintendent.

[Dark Vengeance]

Now, Dr. Dobson said, SpongeBob's creators had enlisted him in a "pro-homosexual video," in which he appeared alongside children's television colleagues like Barney and Jimmy Neutron, among many others. The makers of the video, he said, planned to mail it to thousands of elementary schools to promote a "tolerance pledge" that includes tolerance for differences of "sexual identity".

Maybe I'm the wet blanket conservative in this discussion, but I agree here. I don't think elementary school kids need to be taught about "tolerance for differences in sexual identity". They don't have a sexual identity yet, they're kids. And IMO the faculty needs to keep *ANY* issues about their own sexual identity out of the classroom.

If they want to send such a video to junior high schools, middle schools, or high schools, have at it.....but I don't think that's appropriate for kids aged 11 and under.

If they want to talk about "Jack has 2 mommies", "Jill has 2 daddies", or "Johnny's parents don't live together" and talk about tolerance in those terms, fine. But teaching 3rd graders to respect each others sexual identities is about as appropriate as teaching them how to use condoms.

No wonder American test scores suck, and keep going down. Why don't we get back to teaching, yknow, school subjects instead of pushing folks personal agendas about political correctness?

Bring the noise.
Cheers.............

[Dark Vengeance]

It seems that summer is a time for lazy days, homework, and a lawsuit.

Boy Sues Math Teacher Who Assigned Summer Homework
Teen, Dad Say School Has No Authority Over Students During Summer

POSTED: 11:47 am EST January 20, 2005

MILWAUKEE -- A suburban Milwaukee teen and his dad are suing the boy's math teacher for assigning homework to be done over summer vacation.

Peer Larson , 17, and his father, Bruce Larson, say teachers have no legal authority to make students do schoolwork over summer vacation because the state-mandated, 180-day school year is over.

Mr. Larson says it's poor public policy. He says the students are still children and need a break during the summer months from increased pressure.

The teen attends Whitnall High School. The lawsuit filed in Milwaukee County Circuit Court also names the math department chairwoman, principal, school district and state superintendent.

Damn, Shockeye, 2 in a row.....you're coming dangerously close to stories that fail to meet your "useless" criteria.

Homework over summer vacation is the public school equivalent of my boss asking me to redesign our sales territories during my 2-week paid vacation.

Bring the noise.
Cheers.............

[Shockeye]

It seems that Stan Lee is getting a slice of the Marvel money pie.

Spidey creator sticks it to Marvel

BY ROBERT GEARTY and TRACY CONNOR
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITERS

Ka-Pow? Try ka-ching!

Spider-Man creator Stan Lee has won a major victory in a lawsuit against Marvel Comics after a judge ruled he's entitled to 10% of the profits from movies and toys based on the superheroes he created.

It's a windfall that could turn a goblin green with envy.

Since the company raked in $50 million from the first Spider-Man movie and sold more than $100 million worth of web-slinger products in 2002 alone, Lee, 82, is in for a huge payday.

The decision by Manhattan Federal Judge Robert Sweet also applies to films and TV shows about other characters Lee dreamed up, including the Incredible Hulk, Daredevil, the X-Men and the Fantastic Four.

"I'm very gratified by the judge's decision although, since I'm so deeply fond of Marvel and the people there, I sincerely regret that the situation had to come to this," Lee said.

His lawyer Howard Graff noted that Lee had been working for Marvel since he was a teenager and created its best-known characters. "He believes the company reflects his life-long work and effort," Graff said.

Lee sued Marvel in 2002, claiming the company had breached his 1998 contract to act as a spokesman for the comic book giant and was cheating him of millions from its Hollywood ventures.

The judge agreed that Marvel must fork over a tenth of any profit it makes from movies, TV shows or products made by its toy division.

Marvel said it intends to appeal, but it's already taking a beating in the court of public opinion.

At Forbidden Planet near Union Square, customers said Manhattan-based Marvel should show Lee more respect - and more money.

"There wouldn't be a Spider-Man without Stan Lee," said Rodney Ramos, 39, a comic book artist from the East Village. "Imagine Microsoft without Bill Gates."

[Shockeye]

May the schwartz be with you.

Spaceballs Being Retooled for TV
Source: Variety
January 20, 2005

Mel Brooks' wacky 1987 "Star Wars" spoof Spaceballs is being retooled for television via a three-way project involving the producer, MGM TV and German company BFC, reports Variety.

Brooks is partnering with Berliner Film Co., whose principal pitched the idea to the producer some months ago, and with MGM, which owns the rights to the original movie. Variety says the idea is to deliver an animated TV series that takes on the latest wave of sci-fi and fantasy icons, including the "Star Wars" prequels and "The Lord of the Rings."

Brooks will be working with his Producers collaborator Thomas Meehan, who co-wrote the Spaceballs movie, to produce the pilot and supervise the writing of the other episodes.

Brooks will again voice two of the returning characters, President Skroob and Yogurt. He's also voicing a character in 20th Century Fox's upcoming Robots.

Under the agreement with Brooks, BFC and MGM will produce an hourlong pilot and 13 half-hour episodes.

[Shockeye]

It seems Flanders is generating some cash flow for a betting company.

Big money says Ned Flanders is gay -18/01/05

Large wagers are being placed that the devout Christian character in the Simpsons, Ned Flanders, is to be "outed" in an upcoming episode.

Rumours have been circulating since last summer on who it might be, after producers of the hit cartoon series announced that it would feature the gay marriage of one of its lead characters in a new episode, expected to be aired in this month.

 In recent weeks however the debate and speculation have turned into big money wagers according to betting firms.

Although Ned Flanders is not the favourite, being posted as 15/1, several large wagers have been placed on his character, which has come as a surprise to the bookmaker BetUs.com

"Don't be surprised if the gay character is Flanders," said Mike Foreman from the company. "Can you imagine the controversy Matt Groening and writers will create if Ned comes out of the closet!"

"It appears that many of our customers have an opinion on who the gay character is," said Foreman.

"We've taken more than 900 bets, mostly on Patty and Smithers."

Marge's sister Patty was the favourite at 4/5 with Smithers trailing at 4/1 to be "outed."

"We were positive that Patty would be the bettors' favourite, seeing that she has been identified in many online sources as the gay character thanks to a leak at Fox," says Foreman. "Nevertheless, it seems that our customers believe that Patty is just a rumour planted by the network to throw viewers off."

Critically acclaimed for its fresh and creative storylines, The Simpsons is the longest running cartoon featured on prime-time television in the US.

The Archbishop of Canterbury is among fans of the show, and has previously said that he would look "very seriously" at an invitation to appear on The Simpsons after it was reported that the show's producers were poised to invite him onto the animated show.

The show's moral and religious dimension has also been the subject of a book: 'The Gospel According to the Simpsons'

Pop Idol judge Simon Cowell has appeared on the show as has Prime Minister Tony Blair, U2, the Rolling Stones, Sir Paul McCartney, Leonard Nimoy, Mel Gibson and Sting.

[Nebu]

I have to agree with you DV and I'm a pretty liberal person.  I'd also like to see parents assume more of the responsibility for dealing with sensitive issues with their children.  Maybe this would free up some time for kids to learn things like... oh, I don't know... math, reading, and writing during school hours.

As for an earlier story: How does Paris Hilton doing something stupid even become news?

[Shockeye]

Jesus isn't good enough for Rolling Stone.

Rolling Stone Magazine Rejects Ad For Bible

POSTED: 7:20 am EST January 20, 2005

GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. -- You can find plenty of babes, booze and bongs in Rolling Stone magazine, but you won't seen an ad for the Bible.

The nation's largest Bible publisher said the rock publication has rejected an ad for a new translation of the Bible aimed at young people. Doug Lockhart, a VP of Zondervan, a division of HarperCollins Publishers, said they're surprised and disappointed. He said the company paid Rolling Stone for the ad space last July.

USA Today quoted a Rolling Stone executive as saying it's not in the business of publishing advertising for religious messages. While Rolling Stone won't advertise the new Bible, MTV.com will.

[Shockeye]

[Shockeye]

Doctor offers free job for sex and drugs and a webcam to send it to the world? Is he on my HMO?

Doc in disgrace
RESPECTED MEDICO USED HOSPITAL COMPUTER TO WEBCAST SORDID SEX WITH HOOKER, MIKE STROBEL LEARNS
By MIKE STROBEL

 BRILLIANT PHYSICIAN hires call girl. Things go downhill from there.

They play doctor, and then some, for six months.

He gives her narcotics.

He hires her as his assistant at St. Joseph's Hospital in London, Ont., where he is a respected rheumatologist, epidemiologist and professor of internal medicine.

Then he posts photos of their trysts on the Web. Spiced up even more by porn tales penned by him.

He does this FROM A HOSPITAL COMPUTER!

Not so brilliant, for a guy listed as Dr. Kevin Patrick White, MD, BA Chem, PhD, FRCPC, IntMed, Rheum, in the 2004 Canadian Medical Directory.

Saucy photos are not his only contribution to the Internet.

White, 45, has authored many papers, taught many classes, given many speeches, broken much ground in rheumatology, especially in the study of chronic pain, fibromyalgia.

He does not look like a giant of medicine, hunkered beside his lawyer in a hearing room at the College of Physicians and Surgeons of Ontario.

Ichabod Crane, more like. Mousy. Spectacled. Balding from the front, hair swept forward at the sides.

He wears earthy tweed with elbow patches, over a drab olive sweater, white collar, brown pants and black loafers.

ACCUSATION OF INCOMPETENCE

The college wants to add DDU to his resume: Disgraceful, Dishonourable, Unprofessional. It also accuses him of incompetence. He pleads guilty.

A panel is deciding, at its College St. digs, whether to pull his licence or let him keep it with conditions.

He has been suspended since March, when his hospital discovered uploads and downloads that are not, strictly speaking, medical.

The college hearing identifies the hooker/patient/employee only as Patient A.

An agreed statement of facts says she and the doc conducted business "on numerous occasions" from August 2001, when he phoned her escort agency, to January 2002.

Several times White took photos of Patient A performing fellatio on him.

She agreed, on the condition they not show her face.

How either thought that was positionally possible is not explained.

PRESCRIPTIONS FOR HER

Sure enough, Patient A was front and centre. The photos and stories were "sexually graphic and degrading" to her.

In January 2002, White hired Patient A to assist him at the hospital. The agreed statement does not describe her duties.

He began writing prescriptions for her in December 2001.

Between September 2002, and February 2004, he gave her narcotics, knowing she was severely hooked on opiates.

"In this way, Dr. White enabled the patient's addiction to continue longer than it might have under professional guidance." White has no training in addiction medicine.

He wrote only five clinical notes about Patient A, though he saw her at least twice a week. But from Dec. 7, 2002, to May 17, 2003, he billed OHIP for 140 services on her totalling $4,687.45.

Even after -- until last February -- he prescribed opiates for Patient A and visited her home three times a day to shoot her up with Lorazepam.

By now you are wondering: Why? What drove an admired professor and physician down this sordid path?

Well, White has an explanation. It is a doozy.

It belies his resume. "It's absolutely at the far end of the brilliance of this man," says his lawyer, David Little.

"You will not believe his story," says Little, without irony.

He hints at dark secrets in White's family history.

It is "incredible." It is "sad."

Then White takes the stand and tells it. And his lawyer is right. Incredible and sad.

But I cannot tell you what White said. Not yet.

The college slaps a ban on his testimony. It buys Little's argument that what White says might jeopardize the disgraced doc's own rights and privacy as a patient.

"The absolutely unacceptable behaviour of White is not anything other than a disease," says Little, and White is "in treatment" for it.

"The play-by-play stuff is sensationalism at best." At worst, it might keep White from a cure, says Little.

Dunno. There is the small matter of the public's right to know what our docs are up to.

Today college prosecutor Carolyn Silver is to finish cross-examining White. The panel will decide whether to lift the ban, or parts of it, and I can tell you what's underneath.

Better have your meds handy.

[Shockeye]

Real or Fake, can you tell?

NSFW

I got 16 out of 20. I'm proud of myself.

[stray]

17 out of the 20

Didn't you post that before?

[Shockeye]

17 out of the 20

Didn't you post that before?

No, this is a different one.