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[HaemishM]

Yesterday was a goldmine for me in points. Well, except for Stephen Davis' piss poor performance against the Bears. I guess the Bears D really IS that good. I'm sweating tonight's game. If Minny's shitty D can hold Gado to no TD's and Green Bay D disappears as per their normal routine, AND Wiggins has a good night, I can hold onto the win. If not, I'm in trouble.

Did anyone watch the Colts/Bengals game? I knew that Cincy wasn't quite on Indy's level (that top tier of teams) but they were sure damn close. Both offenses were just firing on all cylinders and it was a great thing to watch. Cincy's O line just made Dwight Freeney disappear. Chris Perry and Chris Henry were kicking ass right along with Chad Johnson. But the Colts, holy fuck that team just looks so at ease, like they are playing street ball. It's like watching the Harlem Globetrotters demolish a team (both the cartoon and the real life version).

Chad Johnson. I just have to say I like Chad Johnson. He's got all the bluster and swagger and bravado of a TO or a Keyshawn or Randy Moss, but he's not an asshole about it. I don't think I ever see him put somebody down with his shit, he just has fun with the whole thing. I'd rather have 6 of him on a team than 1 of TO.

Drew Brees apparently owned Buffalo yesterday. The Bills ain't making the playoffs. Also, Tom Brady is MONEY.

[WayAbvPar]

Did anyone watch the Colts/Bengals game?

When the game started, the local CBS affiliate was showing it (the Seahawks were on opposite it on the local Fox affiliate). When I switched back to check in during a Seahawks commercial break, I was horrified to see that they had switched to SD v Buffalo. And stuck with the WHOLE FUCKING GAME, even when it was 48 to fucking 10. <Insert long list of profanities in enormous font here>

[HaemishM]

The Chargers/Bills game must have been PAINFUL to watch for all but the diehard Chargers' fans. That was an old-fashioned ass-whooping.

[Rasix]

That Colts/Bengals game taught me one thing.  No matter how smart your quarterback is, sometimes it's a really bad thing to have him calling the plays.  There's no excuse for having a 20 second drive when you're up by two scores with 4 minutes to play.  That offense is just fucking scary though.  They seem to be able to score at will, and I'm not sure anyone's going to be able to stop them even in the playoffs (we've said this before, tee hee hee).  As a small aside, Edge.. why must you look and sound like an enlarged Flavor Flav?

Larry Johnson v. the worst running defense in the league was a sight to behold. A north/south runner is the ideal back in that situation. I think even if Priest comes back next year, he's going to end up being the leagues premier 3rd down back.  Larry's the guy you want having the bulk of the carries from now on. 

He really saved my bacon considering what a wretched game Steven Jackson had.  The guy had no chance, the Arizona defense was in the backfield every time he got the ball.  Only Barry Sanders could have made something positive out of that situation.  Hard to do anything when you're getting hit 2 steps after getting the ball. 

Man, I left about a hojillion points on the bench this week.  Lord Byron had a monster game.  Picking a wide receiver and QB from now on is going to be a pure crap shoot.  I'm not sure what situation is worse, for QBs I've got one that's starting to look like what everyone thought he was coming into this season, and one's in a traditionally terrible offense but has started to come on.  For my receivers... ugh.. one's a rookie, two have terrible QBs in ground based offenses throwing to them, one has a bad thumb and fading QB, one's a third option and possession WR, and the best of the bunch is waiting for his signal caller to come back from a gimpy knee.  Not a fun job picking someone to go with.

[WayAbvPar]

Larry Johnson v. the worst running defense in the league was a sight to behold.

Yeah. In one of my other leagues, I have Edge, Stephen Jackson, and LJ. For reasons beyond my ken, I decided to sit LJ and play Stephen Jackson (I think because Arizona had no luck stopping Alexander the week before). "You have chosen poorly."

[Merusk]

Crap.. Robinson was out for this week.  I could have dumped Evans in there and had 8 points and another 'win.' 

Oh wait.. no I couldn't, he wasn't announced as not playing until Monday. sonofabitch.

[Paelos]

I have a very real feeling Haemish is going to kick my ass this week. I just don't feel good about my lineup at all.

[shiznitz]

Crumpler finally contributes. Too late to help me in the standings, of course. Watch that fucker get 2 TDs a game through week 15.

[Paelos]

Lamont Jordan is a fantasy God. We are all just living in his world.

[Jamiko]

Lamont Jordan is a fantasy God. We are all just living in his world.

Heathen! All must bow down before the almighty LaDainian Tomlinson.

[WayAbvPar]

I am going down hard for the 2nd week in a row. My magical Delhomme to Smith combo is killing me now.

[Rasix]

With some guesswork based on Monday night's game, let's try and map out the playoff picture here.   A lot of games are just out of reach.

*1.    P-town Agoraphobes    9-3-0     (a tad iffy)
2.    Attack Monkies    8-4-0    (in the bag)
3.    Piss Test Skippers    8-4-0    (Marv needs 30)
4.    The Groin Pulls    7-5-0
5.    Murg's First Losers    7-5-0
6.    Killer Koalas    7-5-0
-------- Playoff line
7.    I Need An Adult    7-5-0    
8.    The Murdoc Bandwagon    7-5-0    
9.    Kilt Wavers    6-6-0    
10.    The Scientologists    5-7-0    
11.    Drunks On Grass    4-8-0    
12.    Neverland Bandstand    4-8-0    
13.    Pottsville Maroons    3-9-0
14.    Pig Skin Sluts    2-10-0    (this team is horrible)

This gets a little complicated. 4 through 6 are very close in points. The 7 and 8 teams are rather low scoring and thus might need some help getting in.  Haem needs to pull of a win and hope some of the 5 teams with 7-5 records lose; he's got a decent point score total to get in on that.  Only Neverland and the Koalas play each other so only one 8-5 is garunteed out of that bunch.  If either the Monkies or Piss Test Skippers lose, then you have two 8-5 teams as a result of each matchup.  There's so many different scenarios to play out here, it's just dizzying to plot it all out.  Attack Monkies still have a chance at going in as the #1 playoff seed or  3 or even lower depending on outcomes.

Either way (depending on a really Monday night screw job), 10th place is all mine, bitches.  I'm amazed my team was able to offset my QB breaking his ankle after throwing 2 passes.  LJ and SJ are just BEASTS. And I finally made a decent managerial move that paid off, go go Vikings D.

[HaemishM]

I have a very real feeling Haemish is going to kick my ass this week. I just don't feel good about my lineup at all.

I felt the same way. Then I watched Tom Brady absolutely shit the fucking bed for 4 quarters. I feel bad for him. His defense has broken every bone a player can break, his running back reads like the Green Bay backfield and yet he still manages like 11 points for me despite 4 INTs. That game was pure ugly. If I'd had Larry Fucking Johnson, I'd have been all over your ass.

Fuck you, John Fox. Thanks for giving most of Stephen Davis's carries to DeShaun Foster, you pigfucker. Fuck you, Nick Kaeding for having a Jay Feely day kicking the ball.

I think I need something like 70 points out of Edgerrin James and Reggie Wayne tonight, which I won't get. And even if I did, having Peyton Manning as your QB will assure that whatever Wayne gets, you gets. Blearg!

Next week is a must win game for me. Luckily, I play the worst team in the league.

EDIT: BTW, I will likely lead the league in points scored, yet will barely be above .500. WTF?

[shiznitz]

Crumpler finally contributes. Too late to help me in the standings, of course. Watch that fucker get 2 TDs a game through week 15.

Well, fuck. He did it again.

[WayAbvPar]

EDIT: BTW, I will likely lead the league in points scored, yet will barely be above .500. WTF?

Welcome to my last 5 seasons of head to head fantasy football. Are you starting understand why I hate it?  :-D

[HaemishM]

Oh yeah, I know why you hate it. Despite the fact that I might miss the playoffs with the highest score, I still like head to head in football. I like the matchups.

[Rasix]

Heh, first year we did this I was #2 in points and missed the playoffs.  There's always someone that gets dicked by constantly scoring huge but always ending up playing someone who has an even bigger game that week.  Or you can start off really bad and just end up destroying people at the end, but if there's a fluke week-to-week winner like Arc was first year, you're just screwed.

[Jamiko]

If I got it figured right, I'm moving from 7th up to 4th place from this weekend. Nice at such a critical moment for the playoffs. Actually feeling pretty good about my chances to stay in the top 6 next week.

[Zetleft]

And I finally made a decent managerial move that paid off, go go Vikings D.

Fucking vikings   

[Paelos]

EDIT: BTW, I will likely lead the league in points scored, yet will barely be above .500. WTF?

Welcome to my last 5 seasons of head to head fantasy football. Are you starting understand why I hate it?  :-D

I may overtake Haem in points, but considering our W-L, I understand his frustration. Then again, are points everything? Does one week make up for 5 weeks of crap? IMO, no it doesn't. Not in the NFL, and not in Fantasy.

[HaemishM]

EDIT: BTW, I will likely lead the league in points scored, yet will barely be above .500. WTF?

Welcome to my last 5 seasons of head to head fantasy football. Are you starting understand why I hate it?  :-D

I may overtake Haem in points, but considering our W-L, I understand his frustration. Then again, are points everything? Does one week make up for 5 weeks of crap? IMO, no it doesn't. Not in the NFL, and not in Fantasy.

Exactly. I like trying to figure out what would be a favorable matchup for a QB, etc. Points are fine, I just like h2h for football.

[Rasix]

You're killing me, Drew Blesoe. You're fucking killing me.  I think I was figuring that everytime I leave Drew Bledsoe on the bench, he explodes. I should have remembered that when I start him, he tends to do nothing.  Yes, Drew Bledsoe's fate rests in my hands.

Kurt Warner v. San Fran.  Yep, this'll be about a 30 point difference. 

[Jamiko]

I don't think I could have picked a worst week to go in the tank. It looks like I'll be watching the playoffs from the side. Oh well, that's H2H for ya.

[HaemishM]

Yep, best I can hope for is Jeremy Stevens has a 35 point game tonight for Way's team, because otherwise, I'll miss the big boy playoffs by one spot. ONE SPOT. Otherwise, I'm the top seed of the losers.

If it hadn't been for Tom Brady's laying of the stinkegg last week, I'd likely have been in the playoffs. Oh, and that big ass losing streak I had earlier in the year.  /sadf

Did anyone watch the Bucs/Saints game? God, that was the visual equivalent of Valium. One of the ugliest, most boring games EVER.

Yep, Packers still suck ass. They lose even after limiting Kyle Orton to like 67 passing yards. Brett Favre should retire after this year unless he gets a committment from management to either 1) sign some good wideouts or 2) find a fucking defense. They need to start playing Aaron Rodgers, because this season is fucking done, yet they are still playing like they have a shot at the playoffs. They just don't have the talent to compete.

The Colts? They still look like streetballers against third-graders. It just looks effortless, like the way Jordan used to put up 45 points in a game without breaking a sweat. The only team I've seen give them ANY challenge all year (and I've seen like 5 or 6 of their games) is Jacksonville early in the season. Next week against the Jags probably won't even be close without Leftwich and the way the Jags D is playing. I could see Seattle giving them some trouble, but even then, I don't see them getting beat the rest of the regular season unless there are injuries or they just don't play a lot of starters because there's no reason to risk them.

San Diego looked good against Oakland. Oakland just looked REALLY BAD on defense, and not so much better on offense. They didn't run Lamont Jordan enough. KC should not have beat Denver like that, but Plummer tried to win the game via shootout. You don't want him to do that. You REALLY don't want him to do that. Pound the ball with Anderson/Bell/Dayne and throw only when you need to. He's called Jake the Snake because he bites his own teamates as much as his opponents.

[Shockeye]

He's called Jake the Snake because he bites his own teamates as much as his opponents.

I prefer calling him Jake the Fake or Jake the Date Rapist.

[Paelos]

I couldn't stand up against the odd performances of Ricky Williams, Chris Chambers, and the NY Giants Defense...

Seriously, it was just a terrible week for me to put up less than 100.

[Jamiko]

I'll never forget the '97 Rose Bowl with ASU vs Ohio St. What a game. It was fun watching Plummer play at ASU at least.

[shiznitz]

Best I can do is play spoiler to the Killer Koalas and maybe keep them out of the playoffs.

[Hoax]

The Colts? They still look like streetballers against third-graders. It just looks effortless, like the way Jordan used to put up 45 points in a game without breaking a sweat. The only team I've seen give them ANY challenge all year (and I've seen like 5 or 6 of their games) is Jacksonville early in the season.

*ahem*  You must have missed the game in Cincy.

WHO DEY?!

Ok I'm done, just so happy this Monday...   :-D

[HaemishM]

The Colts? They still look like streetballers against third-graders. It just looks effortless, like the way Jordan used to put up 45 points in a game without breaking a sweat. The only team I've seen give them ANY challenge all year (and I've seen like 5 or 6 of their games) is Jacksonville early in the season.

*ahem*  You must have missed the game in Cincy.

WHO DEY?!

Ok I'm done, just so happy this Monday...   :-D

Nope, saw that game and loved it. But really, they weren't ever in much danger of being beaten. Yeah, Cincy put 35 up on them, but I don't think they ever led. And almost as soon as Cincy scored one, Indy got one back, and they did it without looking like they were breaking a sweat.

[Hoax]

Dont forget two very questionable pass interference calls, along with two no-calls in the Colts Favor with 3/4 being on 3rd down plays.

Things that killed us:
-Edge ate us up in the 2nd half, the TE's torched us in the first.
-9 penalties for 85 yards (including 3 PI's two of which I think were 50/50 and one that really pissed me off)
-Not winning the turnover battle, something you have to do to stop the Colts.

The Colts won the game, and they made the plays but they definately did not make us look like 3rd graders.

[HaemishM]

No, but it was clear who the better team was that day.

The Bengals are where the Colts were two years ago. For a team that's been where they've been for the last decade, that's a huge feat. They looked even better against the Steelers. The Bengals are for real.

But the Colts are just that much more polished than anyone else they've played. They remind me very much of the good Montana 49ers teams or the Brady-led Pats of the unbeaten streak. If they maintain that consistency, they are unbeatable. Edge has been the real key to that team this year, not Peyton. Their ability to give it to Edge 6 and 7 times in a row, and keep moving the chains while doing it has let them chew up the clock (which they didn't do last year), and has reopened the passing lanes they didn't have early in the season when everyone started playing max cover on Manning. In the 3rd quarter it's Edge Edge Edge, then play action BOOM, 7 points. The scariest part is that even when teams have KNOWN what they are going to do, they can't stop it.

Give the Bengals another year or two, get Palmer and Rudi Johnson some playoff experience, they'll be back in the Super Bowl, no question.

[WayAbvPar]

Philly = PWNED.

Game started off good for Haemish- they threw like 5 passes to Stevens in the first drive. Then they suddenly had no need for offense any more.

I am starting to believe. This is usually when someone yanks the football away and I land straight on my back again, but until then, I am gonna enjoy the ride.

[Hoax]

I agree with you Haem, Edge is key but Payton is something we have never seen before.  I'm a superbowl title away from calling him the greatest quarterback of all time on some days.

I dont want to, I despise the Mannings, I hate his brother, I hate dome teams and I hope that the Colts get crushT in the playoffs.  But what he does at the line, how he effortlessly manages the game and slices through defenses using what most of the time looks like less then 10 unique plays.  He is the Sun Tzu of football, and truly amazing to watch.  But New England figured them out (and had help from the elements) others will too.  Jacksonville is close on scheme but not talent.  It will really suck though if the Colts go to XL from the AFC and face anyone other then the bears, bucs or panthers because any lesser defense will get torched.

[Kenrick]

lol@ teh fantasy nerds.

/exit