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f13.net  |  f13.net General Forums  |  The Gaming Graveyard  |  Gaming Conferences and Conventions  |  E3 '05  |  Topic: Nintendo - what.the.fuck. 0 Members and 3 Guests are viewing this topic.
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Author Topic: Nintendo - what.the.fuck.  (Read 70653 times)
MrHat
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Out of the frying pan, into the fire.


on: May 16, 2005, 04:19:08 PM

So I just watched that Nintendo-ON video.

Someone needs to explain to me why they are marketing a helmet.
WayAbvPar
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Posts: 19268


Reply #1 on: May 16, 2005, 04:22:00 PM

To wear when riding the short bus to school, of course.

When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM

Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood

Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
Shockeye
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Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...


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Reply #2 on: May 16, 2005, 04:50:00 PM

This was the video that was a fake, right?
Samwise
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sentient yeast infection


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Reply #3 on: May 16, 2005, 04:54:48 PM

Can someone help me out with a link to the video?  Or at least a screenshot?  I feel like I'm missing out on some grand joke here.

"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
Signe
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Muse.


Reply #4 on: May 16, 2005, 05:49:58 PM

Hats, helmets, beanie caps with propellers... I love 'em all!  Especially when they're shaped like ducks.

My Sig Image: hath rid itself of this mortal coil.
Miasma
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Posts: 5283

Stopgap Measure


Reply #5 on: May 16, 2005, 08:19:28 PM

Can someone help me out with a link to the video?  Or at least a screenshot?  I feel like I'm missing out on some grand joke here.
I think it's this one.  If it's fake it's better than most companies could put out for real.  Not the technology or product... I mean the video itself was half decent.
TheWalrus
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Reply #6 on: May 16, 2005, 11:54:24 PM

Wow. Nintendo just received a full Rimmer for this concept.

vanilla folders - MediumHigh
Daydreamer
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Posts: 456


Reply #7 on: May 17, 2005, 01:01:53 AM

Jesus Christ on a Sacred Skewer.

I had myself convinced that it was a brilliant fake made of simple yet high quality 3d grpahics and old photos/models, then they showed Mario.  Why create a whole new set and model for a fake when you can copy/mimic the GC Mario and be more convincing?

No way to tell for sure until their press confrence tomorrow morning, but DAMN.  Either way SOMEONE needs a swift kick to the nuts.

EDIT: More evidence that this video is a brilliant fake just in http://www.gamesarefun.com/news.php?newsid=4962

« Last Edit: May 17, 2005, 04:46:42 AM by Daydreamer »

Immaginative Immersion Games  ... These are your role playing games, adventure games, the same escapist pleasure that we get from films and page-turner novels and schizophrenia. - David Wong at PointlessWasteOfTime.com
schild
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Reply #8 on: May 17, 2005, 05:46:51 AM

Heh. Worst looking system of the three. Looks like a mid-range audio processor. And is only 2-3 times as powerful as the Gamecube?

Way to be the Nintendo 64. Again.
EvilTodd
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Posts: 4


Reply #9 on: May 17, 2005, 06:22:01 AM

According to one image in that asstacular video, you can hook it up to a monitor -OR- a microwave.

Maybe Nintendo is trying to improve its user base?  From the other end.
AOFanboi
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Reply #10 on: May 17, 2005, 07:40:56 AM

Does not look like a helmet. In fact, it looks even more minimalist than the PS3.

Current: Mario Kart DS, Nintendogs
Yegolev
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2/10 WOULD NOT INGEST


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Reply #11 on: May 17, 2005, 08:04:45 AM

Does not look like a helmet. In fact, it looks even more minimalist than the PS3.

Much more believable.  I guess.  I should have gone on vacation this week instead of last week.

Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
HaemishM
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Reply #12 on: May 17, 2005, 08:10:02 AM

Wow, virtually indistinguishable from any other electronic device. Woot?

I'm very meh on all the new console designs.

WayAbvPar
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Posts: 19268


Reply #13 on: May 17, 2005, 09:08:12 AM

Wow, virtually indistinguishable from any other electronic device. Woot?

I'm very meh on all the new console designs.

The PS3 is the only one I like. The new Xbox looks like deepfried ass.

When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it's full of urine. HaemishM

Always wear clean underwear because you never know when a Tory Government is going to fuck you.- Ironwood

Libertarians make fun of everyone because they can't see beyond the event horizons of their own assholes Surlyboi
AOFanboi
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Posts: 935


Reply #14 on: May 17, 2005, 10:05:21 AM

Reading some Nintendo press conference reports live now - seems Nintendo is as keen on self-inflation as Microsoft. That sucks. Integrity and all that. Nothing on Revolution yet, apparently showing Electroplankton on the DS has priority. I forgive them.

Current: Mario Kart DS, Nintendogs
Strazos
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Reply #15 on: May 17, 2005, 10:58:26 AM

So that headgear shit was fake? heh.

Fear the Backstab!
"Plato said the virtuous man is at all times ready for a grammar snake attack." - we are lesion
"Hell is other people." -Sartre
AOFanboi
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Reply #16 on: May 17, 2005, 11:33:46 AM

Summary: GBA Micro, Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, online gameplay for both DS and Revolution - free, unlike XBox Live, Mario Baseball, Super Mario Strikers, Mario Party 7, Dance Dance Revolution: Mario Next, all for NGC, Revolution will have old catalog available for (paid?) download, means NES, SNES and N64 apparently, Revolution uses SD memory. Mario Kart Online.

Current: Mario Kart DS, Nintendogs
HaemishM
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Reply #17 on: May 17, 2005, 11:36:45 AM

Revolution will have old catalog available for (paid?) download, means NES, SNES and N64 apparently ... Mario Kart Online.

Now THAT could be a key selling point.

voodoolily
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Reply #18 on: May 17, 2005, 12:07:20 PM

Hoodelolly. That would be nice. I miss Bubble Bobble and Shadowgate.

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The Legend of Zephyr - a different blog.
Yegolev
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Reply #19 on: May 17, 2005, 12:17:18 PM

Revolution will have old catalog available for (paid?) download, means NES, SNES and N64 apparently ... Mario Kart Online.

Now THAT could be a key selling point.

Wha...?!?!!!  More like a system-seller if you ask me.  Must... restrain... fanboi... spooge... ... remain... cynical... GAH!

Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
Strazos
Greetings from the Slave Coast
Posts: 15542

The World's Worst Game: Curry or Covid


Reply #20 on: May 17, 2005, 12:19:30 PM

Nintendo might at least come in second if this is true...

They would then have the largest available library, right?

Fear the Backstab!
"Plato said the virtuous man is at all times ready for a grammar snake attack." - we are lesion
"Hell is other people." -Sartre
Shockeye
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Reply #21 on: May 17, 2005, 12:24:41 PM

Maybe they could get together with Sega and get their old Genesis library running on there too. Please?
ahoythematey
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Reply #22 on: May 17, 2005, 12:37:58 PM

It could become more delicious than that, should the cards play out properly.  For starters it's NES, SNES, and N64.  With a delivery system like this, they could very easily start bringing in other dead consoles into their fold, as well as create an environment ripe for pre-release game demos, online-only minigames that appeal to nongamers(think Bejewled and the like), and even specialized shit like adapting nintendo.com to deliver news/content and all sorts of crazy things through Revolution(things like those campy super-seekrit preview VHS's Nintendo Power used to send out).  The possibilities are scary-fantastic, really, but then that is often the case with Nintendo's systems.  Xbox-Live proves it can be popular.  The hope remains that they can really harness this potential while standing out from the pack.

Not that I really need it.  Smash Bros Online at launch has already sold me on it.  All you motherfuckers ph34r the might of Kirby's powerbomb.
« Last Edit: May 17, 2005, 12:47:13 PM by ahoythematey »
Yegolev
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Reply #23 on: May 17, 2005, 12:41:07 PM

Nintendo might at least come in second if this is true...

They would then have the largest available library, right?

To flip positions with you here... they would have the largest available library... TO POOP ON!  Some of that stuff would be nice to play again for nostalgia, but would anyone, even ME, play most of the NES/SNES fare when the RE4 disc fits in the machine?  I already have supermetroid.zip on my PC and I don't play it.

To counter my own point, this would be a huge seller.  FFIV, SMW, Street Fighter II Turbo, Double Dragon, Final Fight, Blaster Master (my own sickness), Link to the Past?  Fucking GoldenEye on the good TV.  Now I have to change my pants.

I added the green after I realized I was fucking lying.

Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
Margalis
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Reply #24 on: May 17, 2005, 12:41:37 PM

Summary: GBA Micro, Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, online gameplay for both DS and Revolution - free, unlike XBox Live, Mario Baseball, Super Mario Strikers, Mario Party 7, Dance Dance Revolution: Mario Next, all for NGC, Revolution will have old catalog available for (paid?) download, means NES, SNES and N64 apparently, Revolution uses SD memory. Mario Kart Online.

If the old catalog thing is true, that is the most fucking awesome thing I've heard in a long long time.

Edit: I can name a TON of games I would get if they were reasonably priced. The SNES had tons of great games. I still play a lot of them today. Whenever I go home for the holidays I beat Castlevania 4. Plus, I'm a fan of video game history. The idea of having historic games available is awesome. I really hope this is true, that would own.
« Last Edit: May 17, 2005, 12:45:19 PM by Margalis »

vampirehipi23: I would enjoy a book written by a monkey and turned into a movie rather than this.
ahoythematey
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Reply #25 on: May 17, 2005, 12:49:05 PM

I have purchased and sold Earthbound and Super Mario Kart no less than three times.  Nintendo would make a killing off of me alone on my micro-purchases if this odd habit continues.
voodoolily
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Reply #26 on: May 17, 2005, 12:50:04 PM

I still play Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask on my GC, thanks to the Collector's Edition disk. Some nostalgia doesn't get old, and has more to do with a game kicking ass than nostalgia (e.g., the N64 Rare games I mentioned in the other thread). I mean, I already live with three consoles (4 if you count the two GC we have), not counting the GBA or the tv plug-in arcade games. It'd be nice to not hafta keep jonesing for the old games and always come THIS close to picking up an old used N64 every time I go into Game Exchange. And it'd be nice to not have to play the ones that ARE available on a 4" screen. (I know, but I'm too cheap to pick up the cable).

Voodoo & Sauce - a blog.
The Legend of Zephyr - a different blog.
Yegolev
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Reply #27 on: May 17, 2005, 01:16:01 PM

I still play Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask on my GC, thanks to the Collector's Edition disk. Some nostalgia doesn't get old, and has more to do with a game kicking ass than nostalgia (e.g., the N64 Rare games I mentioned in the other thread). I mean, I already live with three consoles (4 if you count the two GC we have), not counting the GBA or the tv plug-in arcade games. It'd be nice to not hafta keep jonesing for the old games and always come THIS close to picking up an old used N64 every time I go into Game Exchange. And it'd be nice to not have to play the ones that ARE available on a 4" screen. (I know, but I'm too cheap to pick up the cable).

I'm going to come clean here.  I have one Cube, one PS2, two Xboxen, one N64, one PS, two SNES, one Genesis, and one NES.  I have a bunch of carts, too, including Final Fantasy and the original paper map.  Not as many as I would like since they like to disappear.  I have a GCGBP under my Cube and two GBAs, one Afterburnered, and a link cable.  The problem (besides me being crazy) is that I don't really have room for the main three machines in the wiring plan, although getting a component video switch should help.  I have the Cube and PS2 using the two component ports right now, with the good Xbox waiting for me to buy a switch and optical cable, or maybe just give the DVD player the boot.  I'm not going back to composite video.  Unpossible.

This downloadable (or whatever) shit is exactly what I need in order to avoid setting my house on fire, or worse, using a regular TV to play old games.

Why am I homeless?  Why do all you motherfuckers need homes is the real question.
They called it The Prayer, its answer was law
Mommy come back 'cause the water's all gone
schild
Administrator
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Reply #28 on: May 17, 2005, 02:45:04 PM

I don't think the third party stuff will be downloadable. If it is, Capcom and Square and the others will still put out compilation discs for other systems. Final Fantasy Chronicles/Midway Arcade Treasures 2 anybody? If you want to download a copy of Mario 3, go right ahead. I'd rather plug in my Nintendo and use my cartridge. THAT'S nostalgia.

Repeat after me: Nintendo is fucked.

You don't have to tell me I was right 6 months ago. I already know.
ahoythematey
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Reply #29 on: May 17, 2005, 03:05:09 PM

I don't think the third party stuff will be downloadable. If it is, Capcom and Square and the others will still put out compilation discs for other systems. Final Fantasy Chronicles/Midway Arcade Treasures 2 anybody? If you want to download a copy of Mario 3, go right ahead. I'd rather plug in my Nintendo and use my cartridge. THAT'S nostalgia.

Repeat after me: Nintendo is fucked.

You don't have to tell me I was right 6 months ago. I already know.

True nostalgia is proclamations of Nintendo's impending doom.  It was Sega's bread and butter for years, now it's Microsoft's.  As for whether or not third-party titles will be onboard: Nintendo was pretty controlling of all the games released on it's systems back in the day, I doubt there are many third-party or not that they(Nintendo) couldn't finagle onto their game network, not to mention that this sort of setup for retro gaming is extremely common in Japan.  Then there's the fact that this would be like free money for the companies that participate; Revolution would basically allow for widespread legal-distribution of ROMs.
Shockeye
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Reply #30 on: May 17, 2005, 03:07:57 PM

I don't think the third party stuff will be downloadable. If it is, Capcom and Square and the others will still put out compilation discs for other systems. Final Fantasy Chronicles/Midway Arcade Treasures 2 anybody? If you want to download a copy of Mario 3, go right ahead. I'd rather plug in my Nintendo and use my cartridge. THAT'S nostalgia.

Repeat after me: Nintendo is fucked.

You don't have to tell me I was right 6 months ago. I already know.

True nostalgia is proclamations of Nintendo's impending doom.  It was Sega's bread and butter for years, now it's Microsoft's. 

Are you saying schild is a Microsoft douchebag? I can see that.
schild
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Posts: 60345


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Reply #31 on: May 17, 2005, 03:09:48 PM

The emulators will be on the systems. A week after the revolution comes out, people will probably be playing ROMs off DVDs on a completely unmodded system. That kind of shit doesn't scare Joe Douchebag. Getting online does.
Shockeye
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Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee, I'd propose on bended knee...


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Reply #32 on: May 17, 2005, 03:10:36 PM

That kind of shit doesn't scare Joe Douchebag.

I like the term "Joe Douchepack" better.
ahoythematey
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Reply #33 on: May 17, 2005, 03:12:36 PM

Are you saying schild is a Microsoft douchebag? I can see that.

Not really, no.  If I were to associate him with any kind of pimping, it'd be for Sony's little overpriced wonder.  I'm simply pointing out that saying, in so many words, that "Nintendo is fucked", is not original or new by a longshot.
schild
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Reply #34 on: May 17, 2005, 03:14:20 PM

It's not. But last time I said it, half the forum jumped on my ass and I stood by my guns.

Exhibit A: Gameboy Micro. I'm right.
Exhibit B: Nintendo Revolution. I'm Right again.

I'm just talking about history from the boards. I know it's not original. Just look at shelfspace and then look at all the frosty candyass bitch Nintendo fanbois. It just feels good to rub salt in the goddamn wounds. Why won't you let me?

Edit: I met a Nintendo Rep when I was working today. Now there's an entire subculture of employees COMPLETELY CLUELESS as to the workings of the gaming industry. If I ran a company, Joe Douchepack would not work for me.
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