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Author Topic: Useless Movies  (Read 51468 times)
schild
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Reply #70 on: June 18, 2016, 12:26:54 PM

You should watch Bonestorm to wash that taste out of your mouth.
Merusk
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Reply #71 on: June 18, 2016, 04:59:35 PM

I don't know why Jennifer Gardner and Kevin Stacy are so desperate for work, but the preview I just saw for their new movie makes TMNT look like a quality film.

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apocrypha
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Reply #72 on: June 18, 2016, 05:18:12 PM

Just watched Oculus, which while mildly entertaining, was very predictable. It also highlighted a major problem with 90% of films made in the last 20 years, which is that actors and actresses are chosen for how pretty they look instead of their acting ability or presence.

Give me one Shelley Duvall in The Shining over ten Karen Gillans in Oculus any day.

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Reply #73 on: June 19, 2016, 12:09:33 AM

Kind of pops to music too. Could Tom Petty in his heyday make it today?

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Reply #74 on: June 19, 2016, 12:20:57 AM

Kind of pops to music too. Could Tom Petty in his heyday make it today?

He would be a hipster god I bet.
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Reply #75 on: June 19, 2016, 04:56:14 PM

Just watched Oculus, which while mildly entertaining, was very predictable. It also highlighted a major problem with 90% of films made in the last 20 years, which is that actors and actresses are chosen for how pretty they look instead of their acting ability or presence.

Give me one Shelley Duvall in The Shining over ten Karen Gillans in Oculus any day.

Back in the day we didn't have looks, we just had the powerhouse acting talents of people like Sid James  why so serious?

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Reply #76 on: June 19, 2016, 05:48:16 PM

I dunno if you are looking for suggestions, but I quite liked "shadow of the Vampire", which is a black comedy horror about the making of "Nosferatu" which pretends that Max Shrek was actually a vampire and the deranged director knew that and hired him to bring authenticity to his movie. For those that like the ugly, it has John Malkovich, William Defoe, and Eddie Izzard to bring down the looks average.  Oh ho ho ho. Reallllly?

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Samwise
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Reply #77 on: June 19, 2016, 07:35:52 PM

"Splice" (with Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley) was fucking amazing.

"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
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Reply #78 on: June 19, 2016, 08:53:21 PM

"Splice" (with Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley) was fucking amazing.
And Predators (also Adrien Brody) was probably the best in the franchise since the original. Didn't get nearly enough love, probably because AvP had trashed the franchise by then.

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HaemishM
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Reply #79 on: June 19, 2016, 10:05:17 PM

Second the recommendation on Predators. That one doesn't get enough credit for being a good game.

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Reply #80 on: June 20, 2016, 12:28:06 AM

Second the recommendation on Predators. That one doesn't get enough credit for being a good game.

The Topher character kills that movie for me.  The rest of it is solid with the "killers/monsters rediscovering their humanity" but ughhh, Topher.
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Reply #81 on: June 20, 2016, 12:56:54 AM

'Shadow of the Vampire' is great, yep, loved that film. 'Splice' was OK, long time since I saw it and I don't remember a huge amount about it other than I thought it was OK.  awesome, for real

Not seen Predators, will keep an eye out for it. Wife and I did a trawl of IMDB's top movie lists of 2015/2014 last night and realised we hadn't even heard of most of 2015's. We had a kind of shitty year last year and apparently were too wrapped up in our own stuff to notice things like entertainment.

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schild
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Reply #82 on: June 21, 2016, 06:38:03 PM

Alright, so:

The Conjuring - Exceptional. Just absolutely exceptional. Up until the ending. sad_trombone.

#Horror - What the fuck. What a weird movie. Nearly impossible to follow (or care about).

The Vatican Tapes - Spent years looking for a decent copy. Even for free it's not worth watching.

The 5th Wave - Nope. Couldn't even get into it. Might become background noise for a shitty day just to say I made it through the whole thing.

Sacrifice - I like Radha Mitchell, but this was fairly terrible. And boring.

Edit: Tonight I'm watching the Ryan Reynold's Amityville Horror. I'm sure it will be positively mediocre.
« Last Edit: June 21, 2016, 06:42:23 PM by schild »
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Reply #83 on: June 21, 2016, 07:26:10 PM

Edit: Tonight I'm watching the Ryan Reynold's Amityville Horror. I'm sure it will be positively mediocre.

It was ok, but mostly not memorable.

rattran
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Reply #84 on: June 22, 2016, 09:49:48 AM

My wife watches a LOT of bad zombie films. Last night was a few really bad ones, the stand out was

Destined to be Ingested a very pretty, and absolutely pointless film. The Virgin Islands/Puerto Rico locations were pretty, the acting was terribad, the plot was worse. And the last 10 minutes laughable zombies show up. They seem to have patterned the zombie look from Zombie Lake's nazi zombies. Avoid.
« Last Edit: June 22, 2016, 09:52:28 AM by rattran »
schild
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Reply #85 on: June 22, 2016, 10:49:11 AM

I can't do bad zombie films. I think it has something to do with makeup and expectations. Like, I expect zombies to be of a certain caliber and bad zombie movies never get there. Bad horror films at least clear the low bar of having gore and cheap thrills, but bad zombie movies just fall flat.
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Reply #86 on: June 22, 2016, 11:10:54 AM

I don't think it started as a zombie film, just cannibal native thriller/horror. I suspect zombies were added due to either not having an ending, or running out of cash.
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Reply #87 on: June 22, 2016, 12:19:06 PM

Watching The Hole on Netflix now.  Promising premise, was hoping for something along the lines of House of Leaves.  Seems to be going in a much stupider direction.

(edit) Think this crosses over into "so stupid it's good".  YMMV.

(edit) Directed by Joe Dante.  It all makes sense now.
« Last Edit: June 22, 2016, 01:03:37 PM by Samwise »

"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
schild
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Reply #88 on: June 22, 2016, 02:54:41 PM

The Hole was meh.

Dead by Daylight streams on Twitch are better than most current horror movies.
Samwise
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Reply #89 on: June 27, 2016, 04:45:46 PM

"Listening" is basically "Primer" with a much bigger budget and much worse writing.  Also the sci-fi gimmick is telepathy rather than time travel.  Just worse all around.

"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
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Reply #90 on: June 28, 2016, 11:58:28 AM

Tetris: The movie.

Now a trilogy and apparently that's not a hoax.
https://www.theguardian.com/film/2016/jun/28/tetris-films-trilogy?CMP=fb_gu

Though, in keeping with the theme of Tetris, shouldn't it be a quadrilogy?

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Reply #91 on: July 02, 2016, 08:46:48 AM

Saw Now You See Me 2 last night. Never watched the first but the wife wanted to see this and Tarzan was full. Quite an enjoyable little movie, especially if you like misdirection and parlor magic. Only two "wtf that's bullshit" scenes for me. This series is more enjoyable than the marketing makes it look.

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Reply #92 on: July 02, 2016, 09:12:20 PM

Tarzan: Not grat but not bad. Worth it for a night-out if you don't want to see any of the shitty blockbusters out right now.

Sam Jackson could have been wholly removed and the movie would have been better. He only served a subplot Tarzan covered and was obviously thrown-in to Americanize things for stupid people. The rest felt very Burroughs-esque.

If you're going to subject yourself to watching Suicide Squad for Margot Robbie, you'd probably enjoy this one more.

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Reply #93 on: July 24, 2016, 06:24:25 PM

I watched The Lobster over the weekend.  The sum total of my reflection on this movie amounts to "what?"
schild
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Reply #94 on: July 24, 2016, 06:33:30 PM

I downloaded that months ago based on the description.

Still haven't watched it.
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Reply #95 on: July 24, 2016, 11:44:51 PM

The Dark Horse, with Cliff Curtis who's one of 'oh yeah that guy'.

DAMN good.

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Reply #96 on: August 03, 2016, 11:39:36 AM

I can't do bad zombie films. I think it has something to do with makeup and expectations. Like, I expect zombies to be of a certain caliber and bad zombie movies never get there. Bad horror films at least clear the low bar of having gore and cheap thrills, but bad zombie movies just fall flat.
Have you seen Fulci's Zombie http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080057/ ? Low budget but still awesome and one of my favorites. But it's definitely bad.

It's too bad the early zombie in the water is SO bad, but makeup+water+1979 *shrug* Stay at least well into the house set to see if you dig it. One of my favorite horror effects ever (hint: eyeball).

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Reply #97 on: August 08, 2016, 07:07:44 PM

"They're Watching".  Just fast-forward to the last 20 minutes or so, which is where it goes from standard found footage trash to glorious B movie stupidity.

"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
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Reply #98 on: August 09, 2016, 09:31:12 AM

I saw Jason Bourne this weekend. It's fun, but it's basically one long car chase, and Matt Damon says maybe 10 lines in the entire thing. Didn't seem worthy of its own thread

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Reply #99 on: August 09, 2016, 10:06:33 AM

Saw it last night myself and agree. It doesn't deserve the savage reviews it's getting, though some of the tech moments were pretty WTF. 

They do the CSI "enhance" to a blurry digital pan, for example.

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Reply #100 on: August 09, 2016, 10:14:06 AM

I don't read reviews anymore because they don't really reflect the movie. People have started carrying their own politics and agendas into movie reviews of all things, which means I just go watch what I want and ignore the rest.

Basically if I read reviews, I'd never watch anything since they only give good reviews to things I have no interest in (animated movies, teen/kids stuff, or weird indie shit).

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Velorath
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Reply #101 on: August 09, 2016, 05:18:34 PM

Saw it last night myself and agree. It doesn't deserve the savage reviews it's getting, though some of the tech moments were pretty WTF. 

They do the CSI "enhance" to a blurry digital pan, for example.

I just thought it was boring. Now that Bourne remembers his past they had a chance to do something at least slightly interesting or different with this movie. Instead it's Bourne searching for some information about his past while government agents trying to cover up their shady operations try to kill him. I guess one could argue that this is the formula for the series and you know going into it that this is what you're going to get, but even then it doesn't even execute on that formula as well as any of the previous movies.
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Reply #102 on: August 13, 2016, 12:44:12 AM

I thought the fire alarm thing was slightly clever but overall didnt try very hard.  Basically a Dodge Charger commercial.

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Reply #103 on: August 27, 2016, 01:16:19 AM

Don't Breathe is a great movie and you should all go to the theater and watch it.
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Reply #104 on: August 27, 2016, 10:48:06 AM

It looks interesting but my wife won't go in for horror/ survival movies. I'm curious about the twist, though I suspect we see it in the last trailer.

The past cannot be changed. The future is yet within your power.
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