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Author Topic: Useless Movies  (Read 11810 times)
schild
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Reply #35 on: June 09, 2016, 05:32:55 PM

Yes, that needs to be said - do not read other Chambers shit. Just The King in Yellow.

Back to movies - downloading The Green Inferno, which I have not yet seen. Also going to rewatch the shitty American Pulse. In grabbing it, I found out America decided a Pulse 2 and Pulse 3 were necessary.

Another shit trilogy, awesome.
schild
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Reply #36 on: June 09, 2016, 05:37:36 PM

Also, just to give some scope on where I'm coming from, the best horror I've seen in the last ten years was probably (I have no clue when these came out): The Descent, Oculus, [REC], and Ju-On. I know Ju-On came out closer to Ringu than now, I didn't see it until 2005 or so (but I'm fairly confident it was earlier in the 2000s)

If we're ignoring pure horror, I'd probably put Cloverfield on the list as well as Human Centipede.
Typhon
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Reply #37 on: June 09, 2016, 05:55:51 PM

Kail's list is spot on, but you should read them in a specific order (the more engagingly written first).

Call of Cthulhu (because this isn't written like any of the others and gets you started)*
The Colour out of Space
At the Mountains of Madness*
The Dunwich Horror*
The Shadow out of Time*

The Dunwich Horror is probably my favorite because it's so demented, but it is horribly written, so you need to read some of the others to get used to the way he writes - his prose is hard to read at first, very tedious.  His ideas are fantastic.

I also like these;

The Dreams in the Witch House
The Thing on the Doorstep

*these stories introduce the larger parts of the mythos (in addition to The Whisperer in the Darkness)
Samwise
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Reply #38 on: June 09, 2016, 05:59:14 PM

Here's the thing, it doesn't take long to read his complete works. I say just read them all. You'll decide what you like and don't like.

This is the only really correct answer.

"Nice attempted blast about my "drinking".  I do enjoy a nice cuppa, but that is because I am a bon vivant of gregarious nature and cheery disposition." - Ab
schild
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Reply #39 on: June 09, 2016, 06:42:15 PM

Pulse 1-3, Southbound, and The Green Inferno have been acquired.
schild
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Reply #40 on: June 09, 2016, 09:55:17 PM

Pulse is garbage. I can't wait to see the next two.
Margalis
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Reply #41 on: June 09, 2016, 10:46:26 PM

I was not a big fan of Southbound - a little too serious and gritty for my taste maybe.

I think someone previously mentioned "Black Mountain Side." (Though they called it Black Mountain) Pretty good I thought. More of an exercise in atmosphere and setting than anything else, but pretty decent for what it was.

vampirehipi23: I would enjoy a book written by a monkey and turned into a movie rather than this.
Hawkbit
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Reply #42 on: June 09, 2016, 11:19:10 PM

Also, just to give some scope on where I'm coming from, the best horror I've seen in the last ten years was probably (I have no clue when these came out): The Descent, Oculus, [REC], and Ju-On. I know Ju-On came out closer to Ringu than now, I didn't see it until 2005 or so (but I'm fairly confident it was earlier in the 2000s)

If we're ignoring pure horror, I'd probably put Cloverfield on the list as well as Human Centipede.

I never saw [REC] and will have to now because I agree, The Descent and Oculus were some of my favorite horror films of the past decade. The former we saw in the theatre and the large screen really brings the claustrophobia home. Hostel I also saw in the theatre, and it was memorable because it was when modern horror died to me. The torture porn stuff just doesn't really do it for me and I drew the line at Human Centipede, never actually saw them.

You're Next. Wolf Creek was fucking brutal but I can't really watch these types anymore.

I also liked enough parts of Jeepers Creepers that I can say it's good-esque. Anything about aliens freaks me out badly, so while Signs and The fourth kind and Communion aren't really horror movies, they always scare the shit out of me. I sometimes give movies a lot of credit if they can mash different genres together. For example, I really liked Outlander.

Thanks all for sharing titles - I've added a few to my lists!
Johny Cee
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Reply #43 on: June 10, 2016, 12:49:50 AM

I was trying to figure out why a bunch of people had read The King in Yellow, then remembered it was heavily referenced in True Detective. 

The "Old School" types, Algernon Blackwood's The Willows, William Hope Hodgson has some good stuff (Nightland is really influential, but he tried to do a faux-17th century style and it is impenetrable), and Arthur Machen (I remember his Great God Pan as being really good) get referenced alot. 

The Nightland book/s are sooo hard to read, but reading it you have massive "OHHHHH" moments for where many popular horror tropes originated. 

For modern writers, Laird Barron and Caitlin Kiernan are both really good.  For Barron, the collection with Men from Porlock.  Kiernan's Red Tree is fantastic.


With the amount body horror Cronenberg uses, I'm really surprised he hasn't taken a swing at a Lovecraft film.  The Fly could be a Lovecraft story.


Goreschach
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Reply #44 on: June 10, 2016, 12:53:46 AM

Here's the thing, it doesn't take long to read his complete works. I say just read them all. You'll decide what you like and don't like.

This is the only really correct answer.

Most of the stuff he wrote is public domain. This is a not-actually-complete but pretty comprehensive collection of his short stories.

http://www.dagonbytes.com/thelibrary/lovecraft/

Most have already been mentioned but some of the best stories would include:

At the Mountains of Madness
The Call of Cthulu
The Case of Charles Dexter Ward
The Colour Out of Space
Dagon
The Dunwich Horror
The Shadow Out of Time
The Shadow Over Innsmouth
The Thing on the Doorstep
The Whisperer in Darkness
Margalis
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Reply #45 on: June 10, 2016, 01:36:50 AM

I'm not a fan of "torture porn" but had not seen the first Hostel until recently. It feels pretty tame to me. The horror is less the torture porn aspect and more being in a foreign land, being vulnerable, not really understanding what people are saying, etc. I don't know that it really stands up well, but it also didn't strike me as being beyond the pale and it seemed fairly effective for what it was going for.

vampirehipi23: I would enjoy a book written by a monkey and turned into a movie rather than this.
schild
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Reply #46 on: June 10, 2016, 01:38:28 AM

The first hostel is the best movie Eli Roth has done. Also, best use of Takashi Miike as an extra. Movie isn't GOOD though. Roth doesn't do good. He does "ok."
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Reply #47 on: June 10, 2016, 04:31:10 AM

Green Room is out on blu-ray next month which I would recommend checking out. I haven't watched Darling yet (it's on VOD though), but that seems to be pretty polarizing.
Sky
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Reply #48 on: June 10, 2016, 10:13:54 AM

Sort of watched Lazarus last night. Sort of, because it was so bad I ended up mostly playing solitaire on the phone and then started reading a book.

An amazingly shitty movie. -1/10

satael
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Reply #49 on: June 10, 2016, 10:39:27 AM

Pulse is garbage. I can't wait to see the next two.

As cliché as it sounds, the original Japanese version of the movie is a lot better (though I'm a bit biased on this since I really like Kiyoshi Kurosawa's movies in general).
schild
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Reply #50 on: June 10, 2016, 10:47:35 AM

Seen the original one, liked it. Kristin Bell vehicle was no bueno. Had not seen that one.
schild
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Reply #51 on: June 10, 2016, 12:34:36 PM

Pulse 2 is too terrible to bother finishing. made it 19 minutes in. What a masterpiece. Deleting Pulse 3.
schild
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Reply #52 on: June 10, 2016, 01:56:41 PM

HaemishM
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Reply #53 on: June 10, 2016, 02:07:07 PM

Wait... WHAT?

WUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT???

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Reply #54 on: June 10, 2016, 02:08:46 PM

Well of course there's a sequel. Jesus rises, remember?

3 days. That's some serious lag, man.

Paelos: Somebody find that post where I declared Seattle dead, because those fuckers are NFL cockroaches in the NFC.
Goreschach
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Reply #55 on: June 10, 2016, 02:43:23 PM

Actually, Jesus came back to life immediately after being crucified. It just took him three days to run back to his corpse.
TheWalrus
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Reply #56 on: June 10, 2016, 02:56:09 PM

Fucking grind. Wonder how much xp he lost.

Paelos: Somebody find that post where I declared Seattle dead, because those fuckers are NFL cockroaches in the NFC.
Sky
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Reply #57 on: June 10, 2016, 03:02:51 PM

Actually, Jesus came back to life immediately after being crucified. It just took him three days to run back to his corpse.
That's what he gets for binding in Galilee before the raid. Should've grouped with a necro.

schild
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Reply #58 on: June 10, 2016, 06:59:31 PM

#HORROR is real garbage also. Guess I'm about to head into an Eli-Rothathon. A the very least I know I can finish these movies, even if they're all awful.
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Reply #59 on: June 11, 2016, 09:00:39 PM

Green Inferno was terrible. I can't even compliment the gore, other than the practical effects when they dismembered the first guy.
schild
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Reply #60 on: June 11, 2016, 11:06:20 PM

The Descent 2 is WAY better than I expected. What a nice little set of movies.
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Reply #61 on: June 12, 2016, 12:53:42 PM

The Descent 2 is WAY better than I expected. What a nice little set of movies.

Really? Does the sequel follow the downbeat European theatrical release or the "happy" American one, or is there any connection at all with the characters of the first movie?
schild
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Reply #62 on: June 12, 2016, 12:58:40 PM

The Descent 2 is WAY better than I expected. What a nice little set of movies.

Really? Does the sequel follow the downbeat European theatrical release or the "happy" American one, or is there any connection at all with the characters of the first movie?
The Descent 2 takes place directly after the first movie ends. Same actors. There's a few continuity issues and the cinematography doesn't evoke the same level of claustrophobia as the first movie, but all things considered it got the job done. It's now a complete story that begins and ends. The end of the second one leaves things a LITTLE open for a prequel, but given how little money it made, I find that unlikely.
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Reply #63 on: June 12, 2016, 06:06:06 PM

Dagon is probably one of the best Lovecraft movies done. It just happens to be low-budget and also based on Lovecraft, which means its mostly schlocky regardless of what you do.
I downloaded and have watched the first half of this movie based on this thread.  While I'll finish it because I want to see what is actually happening overall, this movie could have literally been shown on the original Mystery Science Theater 3000.  Acting and production wise.  Holy hell.  

This is not Schlock.  This is a few steps above Troll 2.
« Last Edit: June 12, 2016, 06:43:48 PM by Teleku »

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schild
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Reply #64 on: June 12, 2016, 06:15:13 PM

Hostel is worse than I remember. Eli Roth may just be a terrible writer.

Fake Edit: Looked up his imdb info before hitting post. He is a terrible writer. Though I have Knock Knock, I haven't yet watched it.
HaemishM
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Reply #65 on: June 12, 2016, 06:22:49 PM

I think (but could be wrong) that Dagon was actually done as a SciFi original movie with the tits and things added for the DVD release - so yeah, budget is not good and the acting is terrible. But again, it's a decent translation of the story, especially compared to some other Cthulhu movies.

Also, yes... Eli Roth is a really terrible writer.

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Reply #66 on: June 14, 2016, 09:09:47 PM

I think the 2005 Call of Cthulhu (silent)movie is the best adaptation, with 60's The Colour Out Of Space aka Die, Monster, Die! the wierdest.
BobtheSomething
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Reply #67 on: June 14, 2016, 11:17:00 PM

I think the 2005 Call of Cthulhu (silent)movie is the best adaptation, with 60's The Colour Out Of Space aka Die, Monster, Die! the wierdest.

I like the silent film quite a bit.  Did the same group ever release any other films?

My favorite Lovecraftianish film is John Carpenter's In the Mouth of Madness, although it is also a love letter to Stephen King.
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Reply #68 on: June 15, 2016, 10:40:36 AM

Color Out of Space is probably my favorite straight Lovecraft movie.

https://www.amazon.com/Color-Out-Space-Marco-Leibnitz/dp/B00C1CDUES/

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Reply #69 on: June 17, 2016, 02:03:23 AM

Just watched The Gallows.  Pretty good as far as found footage haunted house movies go.

Fake edit: started post before the movie ended.  The last two minutes or so totally undermines it.  Advise stopping the movie as soon as you hear clapping toward the end.

"Nice attempted blast about my "drinking".  I do enjoy a nice cuppa, but that is because I am a bon vivant of gregarious nature and cheery disposition." - Ab
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