My relentless pursuit of Britney Spears news continues...

[Yegolev]

I know just enough about women to agree with Morat.  Or the lice theory, that's a good one, too.

[Gutboy Barrelhouse]

May as well pile on the crap here:
________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Insiders tell US Weekly that Britney Spears is completely clueless when it comes to her children. Sources say that when she is alone with her kids she "gets over-whelmed" and doesn't know how to handle it when they cry, often saying "How do I make it stop?". A woman also came forward to discuss the job requirements to be nanny to Britney's kids, a job in which she applied last year. US Weekly reports:


Personal Over Professional
"Britney didn't ask me one thing about my child-care experience. She only wanted to know about my personal life."

Friend Wanted
"The agency that called me emphasized that Britney was looking for a nanny who was young and hip because they wanted her to interact with people her own age. Basically, Britney wanted a friend."

Must Like Naked Bosses
"Britney asked me and one of her nannies to come to her room to watch her try on outfits for a party one night - then she stripped down naked in front of us!"

Must Act As Surrogate Mom
"One nanny told me that Britney will hold her kids for 10 minutes and then say, 'I'm done now. You can take them.'"

Don't Be Too Good
"She doesn't like when Sean prefers the nanny, so she fires them and looks for a new one."

[CmdrSlack]

I put some stock in the hair/drug test thing, but apparently the information comes from the hair folicle meaning it wouldn't matter that she shaved her head?

Yes.  Also, any hair works, not just head hair.  So, you know, nose hair, nether region hair, armpit hair, leg hair, etc. 

[Margalis]

Bitch is crazy and dumb.

Married a guy who was cheating on a lover he already had a kid with...pointed a camera at her knees and giggled 'cause they 'looked like boobies'...the girls is mentally and emotionally 9 and always will be.

[Paelos]

Having cameras pointed at you doesn't make you smarter.

In most cases, they'll make you look retarded through edits.

[HaemishM]

Having cameras pointed at you doesn't make you smarter.

In most cases, they'll make you look retarded through edits.

She hardly needed an editor for that, just a pastor and a marriage license.

[Llava]

pointed a camera at her knees and giggled 'cause they 'looked like boobies'

Last time I saw a camera pointed at her knees, it wasn't boobies that I saw.






















 

[Lantyssa]

It took me a minute to catch that.  Funny.

[penfold]

Who, at the start of the thread, would have thought Britney would end up like this?. "Bite the kerb!"

[Strazos]

Oh how the mighty have fallen. Back in the day, she was some new teeny pop sensation. Hot also.

Now? I can see her in an episode of Cops or something. She's a fucking mess. She's so used up at this point, I'm not sure why she even bothers to get up in the morning.

[SnakeCharmer]

Britney would end up like this?. "Bite the kerb!"

HOLY SHIT.

She has come completely unglued.  Lost it.  Done.  Fully baked.  Wacked.  Wacko.  Nuts. 

Yikes.

[Kenrick]

You can't help it, can you? You know why this topic was denned. Stop being a dumb sack of shit.

This thread was denned at one point?

Main, this baby has been through a lot in two years.  Much like its matron of honor.

[Riggswolfe]

Jesus, that last link convinced me she has truly gone insane. I almost hope she's on serious drugs because the alternative is worse.

[Paelos]

BAHAHAHA, that link of her is so very awesome it defies description.

Teen sensation -> hot now-legal singer -> married a dumbass -> failed TV show about her ego -> BABAH! -> Big D -> bald and batshit insane

Only two places to go from here. Early death or Playboy spread.

[Kenrick]

Early death or Playboy spread.

I'll take both - but not in that order.

[HaemishM]

It's like Sinead O'Conner got cranked up on meth and saw the Pope across the street kissing a baby.

[Signe]

I feel sort of sorry for her.  She looks like a sad girl.

[Ironwood]

While it would be in extremely bad taste, you could quite readily do a countdown or run a book on time to suicide attempt.  I see her actually managing it too.


It's either that or Jesus.

[Lantyssa]

Because she's managed to do everything else in her life so well?

[Gutboy Barrelhouse]

Ironwood, to late on that countdown:
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

The National Enquirer is reporting that Britney Spears attempted to kill herself twice in the hours after she was seen shaving her head. After a failed intervention, in which Britney thought was going to be a reconciliation with Kevin Federline, Britney reportedly became hysterical and ended up at Esther's Haircutting Studio.


Hours after creating a media frenzy by shaving her head, sources say the troubled star tried to take her own life by walking into traffic, only to be rescued at the last second by her staff. But that wasn't the end of Britney's self-destructive impulses. A short time later she was rushed to a doctor after saying she was going to kill herself and then taking too many Xanax, say the sources..."After she shaved off her hair, Britney had a complete breakdown and tried to kill herself," an insider told The Enquirer."

This story has yet to be confirmed (and is still developing), but it sounds about right, because I mean really, why wouldn't Britney fuck this up? Any self-respecting person would've put a gun in their mouth or jumped off a building, but no, not our Britney. She can't do anything right. I'm surprised she didn't try to drown herself by splashing water in her face or just sitting in a chair and holding her breath.

[Samwise]

In her defense, many people tend to look pretty angry in "SURPRISE!  FLASHBULB!" photos taken at inopportune moments.

I do not at all understand her going back to K-Fed, though.

[Lantyssa]

People do stupid things for people they love are co-dependent on.

[Der Helm]

Early death or Playboy spread.

I'll take both - but not in that order.

[Daeven]

I saw one of the owners on TV say there were going to have a "Britney Buzz" special... for $200 dollars.  Yes, two-hundred American dollars.

I hope the people who own that salon get cancer and die from it.

Why? Removing money from stupid people minimizes their potential economic impact down the road. The Salon is being clever. It's the challenged individuals who would pay $200 for a USMC buzz that need therapy. Or a hobby. Or a swift kick in the head. Whichever really.

[Kenrick]

Britney Spears is rehabbing in style — and privacy.

The “Toxic singer” reportedly booked an entire wing for herself at Promises, the Malibu clinic where she’s hoping to detox.

“She wants all the rooms on her wing,” a source told the London Sun. “It will cost her hundreds of thousands.”

The singer wants to avoid mixing with other patients, according to the paper, but another source says she’s equally concerned about stories being leaked to the media.

Says the source, “If that’s what she needs to get well, good for her.”

[Riggswolfe]

I heard on the radio this morning she was quoted as saying "We used extasy at night, cocaine during the day, and downers like valium in the evening so we could get some sleep." I'm not sure who the "we" is since I had to get out of the car and go to work, but I figure it was either Kfed or Paris.

[Trippy]

I heard on the radio this morning she was quoted as saying "We used extasy at night, cocaine during the day, and downers like valium in the evening so we could get some sleep." I'm not sure who the "we" is since I had to get out of the car and go to work, but I figure it was either Kfed or Paris.

The I in the We is Jason Alexander, her childhood friend that she was married to for like 2 days.

[Der Helm]

The I in the We is Jason Alexander, her childhood friend that she was married to for like 2 days.

I wonder who paid for the drugs ... :-D

[Strazos]

Since when is she Jewish?

[Yegolev]

She got high with George Costanza?

[Kenrick]

The I in the We is Jason Alexander, her childhood friend that she was married to for like 2 days.

I wonder who paid for the drugs ... :-D

Kramer.

[Paelos]

Since when is she Jewish?

I think that's a product of the stupid Kabbalah fad that hit Hollywood of late, stemming from a dude named Phillip Berg who set up the "Kabbalah Center" in LA. I would almost guarantee she has no idea what the real tenets or theology entails since that particuluar center seems to have fallen under criticisms of using "Scientology-type" tactics to promote membership. Most Jewish organizations have shunned the place.

[Strazos]

Also, cigs and Red Bull...what kind of detox is that?

[Kenrick]

Also, cigs and Red Bull...what kind of detox is that?

I'm assuming that pic was taken before the rehab stint... probably when she was still in that tattoo parlour (or just outside of it).

[Riggswolfe]

I heard on the radio this morning she was quoted as saying "We used extasy at night, cocaine during the day, and downers like valium in the evening so we could get some sleep." I'm not sure who the "we" is since I had to get out of the car and go to work, but I figure it was either Kfed or Paris.

The I in the We is Jason Alexander, her childhood friend that she was married to for like 2 days.

He was mentioned now that I think about it. The DJs said something like he couldn't keep up with her which led to the divorce.