April Fools 2015

[Signe]

Yum!

[Fabricated]

https://www.caskers.com/shotclocktm-by-whiskeylife/



Would unironically buy except for the bulleit

[Evildrider]

Toothpaste.

Toothpaste and OJ would have been better.   

[schild]

Toothpaste.

Toothpaste and OJ would have been better.   

it was a "menthol is disgusting" joke more than a disgusting For Real joke.

[Soln]

What's your business?

[Teleku]

Would unironically buy except for the bulleit

Wah?  Bulleit is quite tasty!

[Hawkbit]

Would unironically buy except for the bulleit

Wah?  Bulleit is quite tasty!

Yeah, I've come to enjoy Bulleit as my go-to bourbon. The connoisseurs have problems with it, but I like it.

[rk47]

my favorite hentai site was closed down by FBI today. for 5 seconds before some wrestler appeared and taunted me on screen.
I feel much happier now. 

[Ironwood]

While not technically an April Fool, the Urban Mech video for MechWarrior that came out today was hilarious.

UrbanMech: Death Blossom This one?  

The quotes are better than the footage.  I'm surprised you people are old enough to get the reference. 

More old folks here than you know !  Surprised you're surprised.

And Yes, that was the video.  It made me laugh anyway.

[IainC]

Jeremy Clarkson joins The Guardian's campaign for climate change and tolerance

“Top Gear was a wild ride for an ordinary bloke like me,” said Clarkson, speaking to the Guardian at a pub near Chipping Norton, Oxfordshire. “But there comes a time when a man’s got to ask himself what he really stands for. And for me, that’s sustainable energy, traffic calming and an end to xenophobia and prejudice.”

[...]

Penguin Books, which has long published Clarkson’s bestselling series of opinionated works including The World According to Clarkson, For Crying Out Loud and Driven to Distraction, said next year it planned to publish a new instalment, provisionally entitled Here Are Some Thoughts That I Had, focusing primarily on Clarkson’s new-found sympathy for environmental issues, interfaith dialogue and intersectional feminism.

[schild]

What's your business?

nicotine addiction

[Malakili]

What's your business?

nicotine addiction

.. and business is good.

[schild]

Down with Big Tobacco! Up with New Tobacco!

[Rendakor]

Path of Exile changed all of their reactive skills like Cast on Crit, Cast When Damage Taken, etc.

[Fabricated]

Would unironically buy except for the bulleit

Wah?  Bulleit is quite tasty!

Bulleit is literally mass-produced bourbon made by a mega distillery here in Indiana basically just poured into a different bottle.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/07/28/your-craft-whiskey-is-probably-from-a-factory-distillery-in-indiana.html

Now, the mega-distillery makes legit good stuff, but you're paying even more of a premium for what is a fancy bottle.

My preferred poison:

[Teleku]

*puts bulleit down for being mass produced in a factory*

*immediatly references the most factory mass produced whisky in the world as his prefered drink*

*is Fabricated*

 

I have no problem with it coming from a factory and not small batch artisanal or what ever.  As the article mentioned, they distill a ton of different recipes for different companies, and only some rebottle their basic stuff.  Bulleit has its own distinct mash bill, and I'm quite fond of it over others (though not my favorite).  So I'm paying for the flavor, not just a bottle.

This practice is fairly common in craft brewing as well.  Many of the larger craft brewers with their own bottling line and excess production capacity will actually brew and bottle the beer of smaller companies for them (called contract brewing). They just send along the recipie (and a check).  Doesn't bug me at all as long as the end product is good.

As for Black label.... I've always felt both red and black label were ass.  I mean I can sip it, but only if somebody bought it for me.  I'm at the point where the only scotches I can really stand drinking are in the $80-100 a bottle range or above.  Below that threshold, I almost always prefer sipping good bourbon instead.

[Fabricated]

It's not so much the "mass produced" thing so much as the "This is our artisanal bespoke bourbon!" thing when it in fact basically just bought from a mega-distillery.

[Nebu]

Apparently there is an emerging market for artisanal bottles. 

[Samwise]

I should look into outsourcing my artisanal sourdough bread to Indiana.  Save me all sorts of time.

[Teleku]

It's not so much the "mass produced" thing so much as the "This is our artisanal bespoke bourbon!" thing when it in fact basically just bought from a mega-distillery.

Eh, I only care about flavor, I couldn't care less about what ever BS story they came up with to sell it (though the fact companies are allowed to lie so much is pretty fucking stupid and shouldn't be allowed).  However, I really don't know anybody who thinks Bulleit is a small artisanal bourbon.  It's pretty much the standard bourbon in most bars now, and has a large amount of advertising money obviously put behind it.  It's god damn everywhere.  People (hipsters) who cared about only drinking small batch artisinal alcohol abandoned Bulleit loooong ago (and moved into several of those other Bourbons mentioned in the article.   ).

[Hawkbit]

Would unironically buy except for the bulleit

Wah?  Bulleit is quite tasty!

Bulleit is literally mass-produced bourbon made by a mega distillery here in Indiana basically just poured into a different bottle.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/07/28/your-craft-whiskey-is-probably-from-a-factory-distillery-in-indiana.html

Now, the mega-distillery makes legit good stuff, but you're paying even more of a premium for what is a fancy bottle.

My preferred poison:

Bulleit Rye is made in Indiana, bourbon is Ky. I won't deny the bourbon is mass produced, though. Won't stop me from enjoying it.

My wife and I got cocktails recently; hers was Makers and mine was Bulleit. Makers just tastes watery to me now. 

[Phildo]

A lot of microbrews use large factory operations to brew their beer for them, too.  Brooklyn Brewery did that for a while before getting their own space, for instance.

Last year, one of my coworkers brought in mint Oreos and replaced some of the icing with tootphaste.  We don't talk as much as we used to. 

[MahrinSkel]

Maker's Mark used to be pretty good, but wound up in a different trap of the same kind, where they wound up literally watering down their own product in order to stretch it enough to meet demand (making it up with pure grain alcohol to reach the same proof level).

But I'm not much of a booze connoisseur, I prefer fru-fru chick drinks like a Cosmopolitan. All distilled liquor tastes like a mixture of ass and paint thinner, and I'd rather skip the ass (which is generally a result of the 'aging') then cover the paint thinner with sweetness.

--Dave

[Samwise]

I disagree with what you said.

[Lakov_Sanite]

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your testicles.

[Signe]

All distilled liquor tastes like a mixture of ass and paint thinner, and I'd rather skip the ass (which is generally a result of the 'aging') then cover the paint thinner with sweetness.

--Dave

I'm pretty sure most distilled liquor tastes like liquid ear wax.  I've tested this.  Having said that, Gin is GREAT for toothaches.  Just remember to spit it out after you swish it around. 

[Nebu]

I realize that I'm late to the game, but this made me laugh harder than it should.



My favorite April Fool's prank so far.

[schild]

Is that a prank?

[Samwise]

I assume it was a prank on whomever's phone number they used.   

[Merusk]

Absolutley. It's the modern version of signing people up for a few hundred magazine subscriptions with "bill me later"

[Nebu]

I assume it was a prank on whomever's phone number they used.   

That's what I assumed.  Imagine an inbox full of Chewy sounds...

[WayAbvPar]

I assume it was a prank on whomever's phone number they used.   

That's what I assumed.  Imagine an inbox full of Chewy sounds...

Every time I think about it I laugh.

'Hi, this is <insert name here> Rwweeoooooooooarnnnghhhh!'