NFL 2015

[Mithas]

Why did I stay up to watch this game?

[Sir T]

Because getting nails hammered into your arms by a hooker is too expensive.

[Tannhauser]

So once you enter the endzone, instead of making a 'football move' after a catch you have to complete 'the process'.  Also, the ground cannot cause a fumble unless you're once again in that spooky quantum realm known as the endzone when the ground CAN cause a fumble?  But you can't fumble unless you first make a catch in the endzone.  So if that's the case, then did the receiver complete 'the process'?

My head hurts.

[Yegolev]

I don't understand what I witnessed last night.

[Paelos]

Peyton apparently is having surgery for the tear in his plantar whatever I can't spell it. That kind of thing is season ending usually. The fact they played him in this game is unforgivable and their season is now likely over.

http://www.denverpost.com/broncos/ci_29121407/peyton-manning-benched-chiefs-beat-broncos-29-13

[01101010]

Peyton apparently is having surgery for the tear in his plantar whatever I can't spell it. That kind of thing is season ending usually. The fact they played him in this game is unforgivable and their season is now likely over.

http://www.denverpost.com/broncos/ci_29121407/peyton-manning-benched-chiefs-beat-broncos-29-13

He has to retire. His body just can't hold up for 16 games anymore. No shame in that. Start coaching...

[Malakili]

Yep, it's over.

[01101010]

Now, does he go to the Colts for the one-day contract to retire a Colt or just retire a Bronco?

[sickrubik]

I don't think this is how it ends. But if it is, he'll liekly do the one-day thing with the Colts, yeah.

If we had been better about building the pieces in the last few years and gotten him a couple of rings, it may be a different story. But there's just too much history with the Colts.

However, I don't think it's over. 12-4, take the division, into the playoffs. It'll be harder, but Brock played well in his time in the game yesterday.

THE LOBSTER ERA BEGINS.

[WayAbvPar]

[HaemishM]

LOL at Kitten Gif.

What a fucking day of fuck me in the face football. First off, the Packers. Jesus Criminy, what the actual fuck? How... HOW do you make Rodgers throw 61 FUCKING TIMES in a game? And this isn't against a team with any sort of defense, this is the fucking Lions. THE LIONS. Even with Lacy out, they should have been able to run the ball but apparently our line has completely fucking forgot how to block. I expect the defense to shit the bed but the offense? No one can get open against man-to-man coverage, Rodgers has to run for his fucking life and just what the fuck? I didn't get to watch the game so I don't know how the fuck they could have played that bad.

The Browns/Steelers game was a snoozefest. I literally slept through most of it. If the Browns had any sort of running game they might have made that game close but they do not. Manziel also needs to stop trying to throw on the run because he seems terrible at it. Oh wait, that's his whole deal? Good luck with this year's QB draft class, Browns.

The Giants/Patriots game was a good one and LOLGIANTS found a way to lose it. Though really, they should have won it on that interception at the end but LOLRULES. To be fair, I kind of agree with the rules that the INT wasn't a catch, but between that and the Beckham TD/not TD, I don't have any goddamn clue what is a fucking catch these days and what isn't. And apparently, neither do the current refs, or any of the past refs that the networks are employing as rules consultants these days. It's goddamn ridiculous.

Fuck you, Seahawks.  They really didn't even deserve to make that game close but the Cards O line just deciding not to block the same linebacker coming up the same gap on two consecutive drives almost gifted them that shit. The Seahawks offense is really shitty and inconsistent, which is a shame considering they have talented players. I think if you put Russell Wilson in the Cards offense, he thrives because he's got the arm strength to make those downfield throws that Palmer was making all night. Also, fuck the refs in that game. They were REALLY touchy about a lot of the pass interference/defensive holding calls and the Cardinals took advantage of it. But in the end, the Cardinals ability to drive down the field with 5 minutes left in the game on simple runs and passes really sealed the game and the division.

The current gap between the #6 team in the NFC and everyone else is 2 games (6-3 to 4-5). DANIEL SYNDER'S GODDAMN RACIAL SLURS are the current #7 team in the wild card standings. ... THE... FUCK? I have zero confidence that any of the NFC teams can beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl except for the Giants because LOLGIANTS. The AFC playoff picture isn't much prettier because the Jags are one game off of winning their division behind the shitty Colts who are now using a senior citizen as their starting QB. As good as Denver's defense is, not only do I not think they are ready to win with the Brockster, I'm not sure they can win with Peyton or whatever pieces of human flesh they have sewn together into the Frankenstein Fivehead that is Peyton Manning these days.

Fuck Kubiak for starting Manning with as many injuries as he's apparently got. He absolutely tanked my fantasy team in the regular f13 league. I would have been damned close to winning or at least tying my game if I had literally gotten 0 points out of Manning as opposed to the -8.25 I did get.

[Chimpy]

Manning wanted that 3 yards for the record. Who was going to stop him from playing long enough to get it if he has an injury that requires surgery and not just a couple weeks rest?

[sickrubik]

Manning wanted that 3 yards for the record. Who was going to stop him from playing long enough to get it if he has an injury that requires surgery and not just a couple weeks rest?

But... He would just get the record when he came back.

[Shannow]

Manning was benched for the first time since 2001. The remarkable thing about that game? It was Tom Brady's first NFL start. 

[Merusk]

LOL at Kitten Gif.
The Giants/Patriots game was a good one and LOLGIANTS found a way to lose it. Though really, they should have won it on that interception at the end but LOLRULES. To be fair, I kind of agree with the rules that the INT wasn't a catch, but between that and the Beckham TD/not TD, I don't have any goddamn clue what is a fucking catch these days and what isn't. And apparently, neither do the current refs, or any of the past refs that the networks are employing as rules consultants these days. It's goddamn ridiculous.

As a casual fan of the NFL it seems to me that's part of the reason the rule is that way. So the refs can determine the outcome as required so the 'right' team wins.

Not that I'm calling the whole NFL corrupt based on one thing, but there's certainly enough BS adding up to make it seem that way.

Or it could just be that football is terrible to watch anymore and bored minds look for conspiracies and patterns everywhere. 

[Yegolev]

Oh, yesterday was clear proof that the mafia controls everything.

[HaemishM]

If the shittiness of the catch rule is a conspiracy, it's a Conspiracy of Idiocy. Which, you know, I'm not discounting at all.

[Shannow]

I look at it this way: If that catch had happened in the field of play, no one, absolutely no one would've been surprised if it was called an incompletion, in fact if it had been recovered by the Patriots and ruled a turnover the Giants would've challenged it and gotten the ball back and again no one would've really disagreed. Because it happened in the end zone we get weird about it. It's gotta be a catch in the end zone or the field of play. That play from the Lions game that someone linked earlier should've been an interception.

The rules are kinda shitty, and it was really really close but I think the right call was made. (and yes I'm fucking biased). Hey if they can call PI on a defender when he doesn't even touch the receiver then they can call that a non-TD..

[Malakili]

That play from the Lions game that someone linked earlier should've been an interception.

That's kind of the point. Pick one. They need to make it clear one way or the other what the hell the rule for catching a football actually is.  If it's an incompletion it's an incompletion.  But then don't call an almost identical play the other way in another game.  I know it's real humans making the calls and there is subjectivity involved, but it's getting silly now.

[WayAbvPar]

The 'incomplete pass' in the Sunday Night Game was just as bad. TE catches the ball, turns upfield and takes 3 steps, yet somehow hasn't completed the process of catching the ball. The rule is fucking retarded and they really need to simplify it. More completed passes are good. More turnovers after completed passes? Also good. An incomplete pass is the literally the most boring outcome of any pass play for the neutral fan.

[HaemishM]

An incomplete pass is the literally the most boring outcome of any pass play for the neutral fan.

Except for the "5 yards and automatic first down for illegal contact on a receiver that amounted to a tap on the shoulder" play. 

[Merusk]

The world feels a little more correct and balanced this morning.   

[Shannow]

Ahhhh the Bungles. Good to see you.

[Bungee]

Just like the last few years, I'd like to to share this year's ANY/A stats to date. Those Adjusted Net Yards per Attempt are both FOR (offense) and against (defense) and the difference between the two is on the far right.

[sickrubik]

I was very much telling my fiancee last weekend how the Bengals will start imploding because... Bengals... and then last night happened.

[01101010]

I was very much telling my fiancee last weekend how the Bengals will start imploding because... Bengals... and then last night happened.

1 game. At least the undefeated thing is off their backs. Still, losing to the Texans is a bit worrisome. They are still a top 3 AFC team. Stay tuned.

(I for one hope they get bounced in the wildcard game of the playoffs just to keep with the theme)

[Merusk]

It's not just that they lost. It's how they lost and how they looked doing it.

Dalton was old Dalton and even when he wasn't the receivers had lead hands and rubber chests. 

[01101010]

It's not just that they lost. It's how they lost and how they looked doing it.

Dalton was old Dalton and even when he wasn't the receivers had lead hands and rubber chests. 

True, but they still could have pulled out the win if Green doesn't fumble. As a Browns fan, I like watching any AFC north team go belly up... but I am not thinking the Bengals are dead in the water yet.

[HaemishM]

Of course they aren't dead yet - the closest team to them in the division is the Steelers, who can't keep a QB upright and are already 2 1/2 games behind them and 2 games behind them in divisional record. The Steelers are one of 7 teams within 2 games of the last 2 wild card spots and the closest team in the standings to Cincy record wide other than the Broncos. Cincy would have to have an EPIC collapse to miss the playoffs. And once in the playoffs, the Choke is strong with this team and QB. The Bengals have one of the lowest strength of schedule in the AFC. Strangely enough, Arizona's is even weaker. Just looking over the league, I don't see one team I would favor over New England in the entire NFL, even with the injuries they have. God, that's despressing.

EDIT: Also, holy shit the Rams benched Nick Foles for Case Keenum. So ends the career of Nick Foles as a starter. With Bradford now probably out with injury leaving Butt Fumble to start, how bad can we expect the games to be this weekend?

[Malakili]

I move that after this past weekend, Russel Wilson also be renamed Butt Fumble.

[HaemishM]

He carries the ball like he holds his girlfriend - at arm's length. 

[sickrubik]

True, but they still could have pulled out the win if Green doesn't fumble.

But.. he did. And given how poorly Texans have been doing and how well the Bengals have been doing, they shouldn't have been in that position in the first place.

[Merusk]

Yep.

I have no doubts the Bengals will wind-up in the playoffs yet again. Everyone else in the division is sucking so hard they'd have to drop to the level of play of the 2008 Bungles again to fail-out. 

However, as it has been for the entire length of my time in Cincinnati, they will be one-and-out in the playoffs.

Which is sad, but really par for the course. I was starting to feel strange knowing the home team was a viable contender. I grew up in Cleveland, after-all, so I can't handle winning. 

[Paelos]

9 teams in the NFC have 4 wins or less in Week 10. That's the NFL product we have now. And flags.

I haven't watch much NFL past week 8. Partly because the Boys are part of that awful set of teams, and also because the games aren't enjoyable. I watched 5 minutes of the Cincy and Houston match, and turned it off after realizing it was awful.

The product outside the few actually put-together teams? It's unwatchable. And even the "good" teams like Green Bay have awful games that are just pathetic.

[Shannow]

I actually think the Bengals will win a playoff game this year. They'll most likely have a bye, win their home game and then get crushed by the Pats in Foxboro..