Season 7 Day 3: There Will Be Blood! Also Bowls.

[lamaros]

Underworld v Underworld was an entertaining game, especially in the first half with the bombs being thrown all over the pitch. However in the end the troll advantage gave a bash boost to the Mess, and they prevailed.

[ezrast]

Er, yes. Sunday.

Anyway, got it done, Best with the Mess 2-1 over 8 Eyes.

I made an embarrassing amount of positioning errors in the first half, and that's without even taking into account the part where I had my Bombardier star player make a 2d against blitz action instead of bombing on turn 2 (I'm usually good about making sure the interface is actually doing what I want it to before I confirm, but slipped up here). This allowed an opposing Blitzer to take out my ball carrier, and I didn't form up around it properly to stop from giving up the first touchdown. Rat bullshit let me score a two-turn TD to even the scoreline before half time, but the entire half I was pushing the sidelines with my positionals while feeding goblins to the Best troll on the line of scrimmage, which wasn't great for my long-term game. Down multiple players in the second half, I managed to catch my own kickoff and put up a hell of a fight for the ball but couldn't manage to slug it out nearly long enough to keep the game tied. The Best delayed the game until the last turn and ended it at 2-1.

Fortunately, no permanent injuries anywhere and I leveled up a goblin, so I should be in fighting fit form to prove mutant superiority over Iaian's boring old rattus rattus in game 4.

[Llyse]

Here are the long awaited results of the Saturday Morning Australian Derby between old friends Spain and Llyse.

This was always going to be a lopsided match between Veteran team and coach Llyse of Alive not Dead and the fresh, lumbering and dopey Biffing Orcs of Spain. Alive not Dead were definitely stinging for a strong showing after losing to old rivals Hazardous Hippies while Bring back the Biff were still attempting some semblance of teamwork and coordination.

It started off with Llyse winning the toss and electing to Kick to the inexperienced newcomers. Bring back the Biff had elected to take Morg N Thorg, Wizard, Bloodweiser babe and reroll for their inducements to this likely drubbing.

Alive not Dead start off with a conservative start but opt for a short kick hoping for a blitz but it's simply perfect Orc bashing weather instead. Spain, being cocksure sets a light screen instead of a tight, green orc cage and pays for it after Morg N Thorg fails to smash face. Hobbes does what Hobbes does best and KOs a hapless Bob Hawke before snarling at Paul Keating's heels with Atarin the Cruelly Beautiful as backup. With major pressure on the Australian scumsuckers they decide to go with their highly paid external consultant Morg N Thorg to throw Australia's first female prime minister into the fray.

Sadly a heel breaks and she's knocked out into a Labor minders arms as a lightning bolt from the skies attempts to wreak vengeance on Hobbes for threatening Labor's rightful minority government. Hobbes is only slightly singed and quickly knocks down another former Prime Minister the Honourable Paul Keating before standing over the pigskin.

With Orc bodies and Undead souls securing the ball, it's go time for Atarin who throws lovely pass to Calvin the Hungry who drops the ball and continues to do so all night. It's on the 20 yard line though so all the pressure is on Australia's career politicians to salvage a better tomorrow. Malcom Fraser is as good at blocking as he is a Liberal leader and knocks himself out on Climate Change and undead fist.

Calvin makes a pickup after burning 50% of Alive not Dead's rerolls and puts a Touchdown for Alive not Dead 1-0 at the end of the first quarter.

This time it's a deep kick and a Perfect Defence for the playoff contenders which puts even more pressure on the greenskin, freshmeat orcs. Tony Abbott decides to show that he's not just a polling dandy and starts off with a strong blitz which Malcom Fraser follows up stunning poor Gui the Sad Ghoul. After the last debacle though, Morg N Thorg and Paul Keating all backtrack to give Julia Gillard support to no avail as she lets it slip through like a Mining Resource Tax.

With an aggressive defense both Calvin and Hobbes team up to score another Defensive TD deep in the Biff half. Morg N Thorg knocks down Hobbes though but neither Keating nor Gillard can pick up the ball opting to squabble of the corpse that is Australian Federal government called Football. Calvin opts to mimic Hobbes MVP play but being a fresh pup fails miserably and falls as Keating coathangers him next to the ball. It's now that Morg N Thorg has a sudden rush of blood and decides that his 430k hire fee is worth poor Hobbes fine fur pelt. The referee carefully sees such dirty play against a WWF endangered species and sends him off ensuring Alive Not Dead's victory. Gui doesn't notice that he's tied his shoelaces together however and ensures that it's only 1-0 at the break to Alive not Dead.

The bloodweiser girls are the only thing worth the inducement money for Biff besides the breasts and beer and guarantee stalwarts Bob and Gough are back to try and stop the Necromantic tide. The 2nd half doesn't start off well for Biff though with Paul Keating taken out by a Liberally thrown rock from the crowd putting them an Orc down. It's not long before a hole is punched through the weakened line and a simple handoff to Hobbes results in a 2-0 lead to Alive Not Dead.

Time for Biff to get some pride back and aim for a 2-1 scoreline with a decent line of scrimmage. Without Morg n Thorg though they're easily overpowered and it's not long before the experience shows with Atarin cruelly killing Alfred Deakin for fun and experience. Spain decides not to use his apothecary without realising that the 2nd Australian Prime minister would return to fight against his cohorts on the next drive. It's a matter of ease for Gui to secure the ball though and Hobbes to score his 2nd TD.

Alive not Dead go for a 4th TD with a favourable Blitz! start but Calvin knocks himself out while maiming Malcom Fraser leaving the score 3-0.

A decent match from Spain and the Biff but inexperience and careless mistakes mean Alive not Dead stay on the Hippies' tails at 2nd  

[Falconeer]

In a very, very unlucky day for Swiftblade, the Amazons get the win, 2 - 0, over the Orcs.

I don't think I've seen that many double-1s before.

Well, THANK YOU ALL FOR PREDICTING MY DEFEAT, assholes!

[Megrim]

Baus.

[rk47]

proudft, been waiting over the weekend but didn't see you online.
i'm GMT+8

9 AM to 6 PM is my work hours.
If you see me on steam ,just drop a PM

[IainC]

I'm going to be away from this afternoon through till Sunday. Please bother Ingmar for all your match resetting needs in the meantime.

[Modern Angel]

I'll let luckton post the screenshots and stats, but this did not go well for me. When you've had one death and one badly hurt on the first turn, before you've even had a chance to roll, followed by a Blitz for your opponent the first kickoff you receive, there's not much to be done. Still, it could have been much worse. We ended 2-1 to the Norse in maybe the goriest game of BB I've had. We each had seven on the pitch by the end and I started with 13 on my team.

I have two dead dwarves now. Yes, that means I rolled double dead in the first turn. He even took out the Minotaur freebooter I hired, the superhero one. Whatzhisbutt. Nasty.

I honestly don't know if my team can recover from the deaths.

[luckton]

The G6 Crew, having lost their first season match to the mighty lizards, and snatching defeat from the jaws of victory last week against the Dwarfs, were out for blood today against the Chaos Dwarfs.  While blood was obtained from both sides, the G6 Crew managed to grab just a bit more of it. 

The might of two Minotaurs was not enough to sway the Norse's initial drive up the pitch, with Halfdan the 'zerker running right up and throat-punching a C.Dwarf Blocker into oblivion on turn 1.  The C. Dwarf apothecary must have not had his coffee yet though, as he was unsuccessful in restoring the Blocker's trachea.  Dugald the werewolf followed up with body-blow to a hobgoblin, and subsequently removing the gobbo from the pitch as well.  The C.Dwarfs returned the favor by badly injuring Hallbera the Runner, but after a few more turns of throwing blocks back and forth, the Norse practiced their agility a bit and ran in the ball for a touchdown.

With a few turns left in the first half, the C.Dwarfs started a drive down the pitch, but their Star Player Minotaur, Grashnak Blackhoof, tried to throw down the Crew's Blodging werewolf with a Both Down, and ended up getting his Knee Smashed instead.  Still, the C. Dwarfs persevered, breaking the back of the Crew's Lineman Kicker, and managing to set themselves up for a decent passed-in touchdown on turn 8, but the C. Dwarfs Centaur was as Sure Footed as it thought it was, and brought himself and ball down halfway down the pitch before the delivery could be made.

With the start of the second half, the C. Dwarfs began barreling down the pitch again, and the Crew tried their hardest to keep them at bay, with Fido Ylarson the werewolf managing to Badly Injure the C. Dwarfs other Minotaur off the pitch.  Still, a well protected hobgoblin managed to keep a hold of the ball, while one of the C.Dwarf Blockers managed to deliver a death blow to Eyesteinfriar, the Crew's trained-by-elfs Lineman.  The Crew was unprepared to loose one of it's own completely, and the apothecary was sent out to render aid.  A successful debilitation managed to get Eyesteinfriar back on his feet, but to the sidelines until the next drive.  He wouldn't wait long though, as the C.Dwarfs perseverance paid off, even while being hounded by the Crew, and the C.Dwarfs managed to get on the board and tie up the game with a successful turn 12 Touchdown.

Turn 13 saw the ball get kicked deep into Crew territory, and the kickoff event allowed the C.Dwarfs to re-align their defense for the last drive of the game.  The Crew wasn't about to have a repeat tie of last week, though, and started clearing away a path to victory right up the center of the pitch.  Another C.Dwarf Blocker was sent to the Injury Box badly bruised, while another still had his head decapitated by Fido the werewolf.  The C.Dwarfs attempted to mount a counter-defense, but the Bull Centaurs stumbled over themselves again, allowing the Crew to dive the ball into the endzone for a turn 16 touchdown, and securing their first EVER win in the f13 season play.

[HaemishM]

In what apparently will surprise EVERYONE making predictions, I upset Jasper's Understone Raiders 3-2!

The key stat there is the block dice. 70% success rate to 44%. He ran all over me in the first half with some quick strikes, but I whittled down his numbers with blocks and injuries so that by the time the game was over, he only had 6 guys on the pitch. He used the 420k of inducements to buy the mercenary rat ogre who did inflict an injury but was then knocked out of the game himself. I managed a kill and I think 2 lingering injuries on him, and I think he got a lingering injury on one of my linerats. But having a full 11 vs. his 8 to start the final possession (with the game tied 2-2) was what sealed the deal. Getting a gutter runner with the ball down the sidelines was easy when he had to compress his team into the middle of the field.

[Jasper]

Ouch.

[proudft]

The Human/Khorne match is scheduled for (assuming we didn't screw up the timezones) Friday - my Friday 9:00 am (GMT-7) vs. RK47 Friday-into-Saturday midnight pm (GMT+8).

[lamaros]

Jasper... Why buy Rat Ogre? Such foolishness upsets my tips.

[eldaec]

Rat Ogres are OK as an inducement. Better than a wizard for instance.

Not quite good enough for main roster imo, also the three I've bought previously all died by turn 4 of their first games.

[Ingmar]

Also, I think there's something to be said for having prehensile tail available for the mirror match.

[lamaros]

Rat Ogres are OK as an inducement. Better than a wizard for instance.

Not quite good enough for main roster imo, also the three I've bought previously all died by turn 4 of their first games.

No way. I would never get the Rat Ogre over a Wizard and Babes.

[Ruvaldt]

I'd go wizard and babes as well.  I know that I've had far more of my own drives ruined by lightning than by rat ogres.  Plus, just the presence of a wizard often makes an opponent play differently, and usually not for the better.

[Jasper]

- I think those of you who don't like Rat Ogres are entirely wrong.  The Ogre worked quite well for me until it got injured the first time it got knocked down.
- I had a Wizard too, it just fizzled.

Honestly speaking, I think my inducement selection had little to do with my losing.

[Ruvaldt]

Oh, no doubt.  My comment wasn't directed at you.  I was just commenting that I liked wizard/babes more than a rat ogre if I had to choose as that was how the conversation was going.  I didn't even know exactly what inducements you picked.

[HaemishM]

Rat Ogres are OK as an inducement. Better than a wizard for instance.

He also bought a wizard and used it well to attack a gutter runner a few paces from the endzone - but the lightning bolt did no damage. He got some bad rolls in places he needed at least mediocre rolls.

[eldaec]

With 420 and only 2 rerolls think I would have taken a reroll, a 2nd apoth, then maybe an ogre with juggernaught, or maybe another reroll and double bloodweiser.

I hate wizards so much.

[Ruvaldt]

Only because whenever you use them against me they fail.   

[eldaec]

Whenever and whoever I use them against.

[Megrim]

- I think those of you who don't like Rat Ogres are entirely wrong.  The Ogre worked quite well for me until it got injured the first time it got knocked down.
- I had a Wizard too, it just fizzled.

Honestly speaking, I think my inducement selection had little to do with my losing.

Hey, if it makes you feel any better, the last four Wizards I've bought have all been blown on 1s for their lightning bolts.

[ezrast]

Last one I bought threw a fireball at four people and missed all of them.

the one before that killed HRose though

[Ingmar]

the one before that killed HRose though

Not only his blood but the blood of all his future blog posts stains your hands.

[eldaec]

Ermine Vermin     5
Blitzberg Brewers  0

Ermine Vermin win without Cheddar Persille touching the ball, including a hattrrick for new Gutter Runner 'The Parmigiano Pimpernel'. Couple of rats miss the next game, but no permanent injuries, the Pimpernel reaches level 2, Neville the Nose reaches level 6.

First half the orcs simply couldn't stop the Vermin pouring through the lines and scoring 4 defensive TDs, but they were steadily chipping away at the rat numbers. Second half, after an early score to make it 5-0, there were only 6 vermin left, and they couldn't get hold of the ball. The Orcs almost managed a turn 16 consolation score, but they needed a GFi in a blizzard on the line, and nuffle did not oblige.

[proudft]

Good god, this ratty menace must be stopped!

[eldaec]

Top punching bags in the league and before this match hadn't kept a clean sheet in 24 (excluding byes and disconnects). Plus they did have a 1000TV advantage here.

We're kind of one match away from disaster at all times, and, you know, blood bowl.

In case anyone is wondering the inducement money was spent on Ripper, Varag, Wizard, and a bribe. Wizard managed to knock a guy out but the bribe fizzled, the star players made a decent contribution. Possibly I'd have found room for the chef on this match up.

Gort did also suffer 2 blitz! events, and a riot with a +2 vs 0 fame disadvantage, then a blizzard stopped either of us pushing too hard in the second half.

[proudft]

Not just you!  ALL the rats! 

[z22]

Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh the pain!  At least this game I didn't suffer 2-3 injuries or deaths.  In exchange I had to cope with 2 Blitzes, a Pitch invasion that knocked over all but 3(?) of my players, and a Blizzard, and failure after failure when GFI and trying to pick up the ball!  You would think the Blizzard would be beneficial against Skaven, and I would agree with you, except when you are down 3 (or was it 4?) TDs by halftime.

My MVP was the wizard. I think he knocked 3 of 3 rats off the pitch. With 820 in inducements I wanted to purchase a Chef but was panicking trying to get the most out of my 820 without leaving too much behind. I had my incudements planned out (including a much-needed Merc Thrower for Sure Hands) but must have raised your TV before we started. I had more $$$ than I calculated. Even though I had no defense it was fun. There's something fun about having 6 or 7 players on your roster in a league with TV 1500-1900 teams.  I should have just bought Morg, given him the ball, planted him at midfield, and dropped the beat hammer!   

[lamaros]

- I think those of you who don't like Rat Ogres are entirely wrong.  The Ogre worked quite well for me until it got injured the first time it got knocked down.
- I had a Wizard too, it just fizzled.

Honestly speaking, I think my inducement selection had little to do with my losing.

Apologies. I thought you had fewer inducements.

[Falconeer]

the one before that killed HRose though

Wait, what? When? I want the full story.

[ezrast]

http://forums.f13.net/index.php?topic=23015.msg1161860#msg1161860

Me vs Ingmar day 1.

[Ingmar]

Haven't heard from Fildrigar yet - sent him a Steam message on Monday when he was 'online' but apparently it was lies.