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Topic: Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters. (Read 4916 times)
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01101010
Terracotta Army
Posts: 12003
You call it an accident. I call it justice.
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Does any one know where the love of God goes...When the waves turn the minutes to hours? -G. Lightfoot
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Riggswolfe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 8027
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I honestly don't see how this won't be a terrible movie. It'll be fun to watch on cable or netflix but I won't pay theater prices for it. |
"We live in a country, where John Lennon takes six bullets in the chest, Yoko Ono was standing right next to him and not one fucking bullet! Explain that to me! Explain that to me, God! Explain it to me, God!" - Denis Leary summing up my feelings about the nature of the universe.
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Margalis
Terracotta Army
Posts: 12335
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Can someone explain why Jeremy Renner is in every movie now? The guy can barely act at all.
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vampirehipi23: I would enjoy a book written by a monkey and turned into a movie rather than this.
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Trippy
Administrator
Posts: 23617
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I would assume it's cause Directors/Casting Directors liked his performance in The Hurt Locker and he was cheap, relatively speaking.
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Riggswolfe
Terracotta Army
Posts: 8027
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Can someone explain why Jeremy Renner is in every movie now? The guy can barely act at all.
Every once in awhile it seems that Hollywood will 'test' an actor or actress to see if they will fit into a mold that has some gaps in it. Right now it seems we're short on young-ish action stars so I think they're seeing if he'll work out to fill that need. |
"We live in a country, where John Lennon takes six bullets in the chest, Yoko Ono was standing right next to him and not one fucking bullet! Explain that to me! Explain that to me, God! Explain it to me, God!" - Denis Leary summing up my feelings about the nature of the universe.
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Ratman_tf
Terracotta Army
Posts: 3818
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 "What I'm saying is you should make friends with a few catasses, they smell funny but they're very helpful." -Calantus makes the best of a smelly situation. |
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TheWalrus
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Posts: 4319
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I was disappointed that it appears that they keep killing off some really good lookin girls simply for waving a stick over a pot.
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vanilla folders - MediumHigh
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Lantyssa
Terracotta Army
Posts: 20848
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Can someone explain why Jeremy Renner is in every movie now? The guy can barely act at all.
It's tough to live up to such dramatic powerhouses like Arnie, Stallone, or anyone who's been in an Expendables movie, but it gives him something to aim for. |
Hahahaha! I'm really good at this!
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Sir T
Terracotta Army
Posts: 14223
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Ever seen Dolph Lungren in Macbeth?
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Hic sunt dracones.
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Margalis
Terracotta Army
Posts: 12335
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It's tough to live up to such dramatic powerhouses like Arnie, Stallone, or anyone who's been in an Expendables movie, but it gives him something to aim for.
I would take those guys over Renner. He was the host of SNL recently, which is a pretty good test of who has it and who doesn't, and he was terrible. He worked in The Hurt Locker because he was supposed to be an emotionally dead slab. Unfortunately that's him in every movie. At least Arnie has some charisma. |
vampirehipi23: I would enjoy a book written by a monkey and turned into a movie rather than this.
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Venkman
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Posts: 11536
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It took a long time for Arnold to get there though. Rewatch Commando or Red Heat.  On Renner, I always consider him the B-movie Nathan Fillion, though seems fine in can't-afford-Matt-Damon action stuff too. |
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Lakov_Sanite
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7590
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Hawkeye, basically.
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~a horrific, dark simulacrum that glares balefully at us, with evil intent.
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Samwise
Moderator
Posts: 19219
sentient yeast infection
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I saw this because nothing else was playing at a convenient time. It was about as good as you'd expect.
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"I have not actually recommended many games, and I'll go on the record here saying my track record is probably best in the industry." - schild
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K9
Terracotta Army
Posts: 7441
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So, marginally more terrible than Van Helsing?
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I love the smell of facepalm in the morning
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Hammond
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Posts: 637
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The 3d version was .. interesting. They only had the 3d version playing after 5 at the theater I went to. I didn't feel like I wasted money on it like I did when I watched Dragon Wars. (still possibly the worst movie I have watched in the theater.)
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Venkman
Terracotta Army
Posts: 11536
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That reminds me of a question I had earlier. Time for Useless Conversations.
On topic, I saw the trailer for this and that was all I ever will need to see. This is talentless business decision making at its finest.
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UnSub
Contributor
Posts: 8064
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It wouldn't surprise me if this was greenlit during that short window when "dark fairy tales" i.e. the Snow White movie things last year were seen to be "hot".
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Ubvman
Terracotta Army
Posts: 182
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So, marginally more terrible than Van Helsing?
No, it's actually much better than Van Helsing. I like Gemma Arterton - she is the "go to gal" for fantasy action female lead now. Well at least for me, but then I found Van Helsing abysmally bad. Kate Beckinsale with a hilariously bad accent couldn't save it for me. In Van Helsing, Frankenstein's monster: SHOUTED ALL THE TIME, EVEN DURING ROUTINE EXPOSITIONS. THROUGHOUT ALL THE SCENES HE WAS IN, DID I MENTION HE SHOUTED ALL THE TIME?? YES I DID, DIDN'T I. YOU SAY HE SHOUTED A LOT AT EVERYTHING INCLUDING THE FLOWERS? YES, HE SHOUTED AT EVERYTHING INCLUDING FLOWERS, RANDOM BITS OF FURNITURE AND ROPES. YOU DON'T SAY.. YES, I SAY SO. IT WAS VERY ANNOYING!    |
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« Last Edit: January 30, 2013, 02:42:31 AM by Ubvman »
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Sir T
Terracotta Army
Posts: 14223
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Did you say something about Frankenstien's Monster there? I couldn't hear you.
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Hic sunt dracones.
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Surlyboi
Terracotta Army
Posts: 10963
eat a bag of dicks
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So apparently, after the credits, Samuel L. Jackson shows up and revokes Renner's Avengers membership...
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Tuned in, immediately get to watch cringey Ubisoft talking head offering her deepest sympathies to the families impacted by the Orlando shooting while flanked by a man in a giraffe suit and some sort of "horrifically garish neon costumes through the ages" exhibit or something. We need to stop this fucking planet right now and sort some shit out. -Kail
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rk47
Terracotta Army
Posts: 6236
The Patron Saint of Radicalthons
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my friend is trying to convince me to make an hour and a half trip to watch this in 3d. what else r they playing there? 'parental guidance' in 3d? 'hell no.' ah, then i'm not going. 'fuck you!' |
Colonel Sanders is back in my wallet
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